They stared at each other for a moment more, contently smiling.
Eddie placed his free hand onto her side, mentally making a note of how small her waist was in his palm while beginning to trace a pattern with his finger. This small physical signal sent Lana's body crazy and she quickly brought her face to his again, kissing him intensely and signalling him to slowly move his hand towards the bottom of her top.
"I've wanted to do this for so long." Eddie whispered and then placed another kiss on Lana's lips. "You have no idea."
She looked up at him with a smile, in disbelief at his words.
"I think I have more of an idea than you realise." She chuckled and pressed her lips to his cheek, gently peppering him with small kisses.
They were gently grinding and passionately kissing as their hands ran across each other. It was such an intense release for both of them that they felt suddenly spellbound to be as close to each other as possible. Every kiss felt like euphoria.
"Should we get into the van?" Lana whispered.
Both of them were breathing heavily, desperate to feel each others touch in every part of their bodies. Eddie grinned at her suggestion and nodded, his eyes sticking to her as she climbed off him and walked towards the doors.
All of the dirty thoughts that he'd pushed back out of guilt in the weeks before were now front and centre, and he was struggling to keep his cool.
They hadn't even bothered setting up the tent, but it was fine as the air mattress had been blown up and laid perfectly in the back of the van, only missing it's blanket that had ended up on the ground outside.
She shot him a seductive smirk as she opened the van door, a look he would keep engraved into his memory, and then she lightly pushed him down onto the bed, straddling his hips again and immediately beginning to kiss him.
His mind was racing.
Fuck.
Fuuuckk.
This is even hotter than I thought it would be.
She's so sexy.
Incredibly sexy.
Are we gonna fuck?
This feels too good to be true.
Meanwhile, Lana had unintentionally switched into her "sex robot overdrive" mode, just wanting to get herself off while simultaneously being desperate to please him. The euphoria of the moment was still there, but being gradually worn off by the dissociation that was kicking in.
He passionately kissed her back, running his hands along her back and pulling her body into his. Their crotches were rubbing against each others and he could feel himself starting to get an erection as she slipped her tongue into his mouth.
Slowly, he moved one hand under her top and gradually towards her breast, which he then gently squeezed, earning a quiet moan from her.
This is too good to be true.
They pulled away from the kiss again for a second, panting as they eyed each other.
There wasn't much light in the van, only the small one above the front seats that had flicked on when the doors were opened - still open and giving some more light from the campfire. But it was enough for the foggy look in Lana's eyes to become apparent.
Earlier, her eyes looked so clear and certain, twinkling in the euphoria of the moment. Now they were clouded and lustful - concerning Eddie that she wasn't in the right mindset to even be kissing him, let alone go any further.
"Lana, we don't have to do this." He whispered but the fog didn't lift, only seeming to intensify as she now appeared slightly panicked.
Worrying that she wasn't turning him on enough, she quickly started to kiss him again, trailing her lips to his neck and leaving little pecks.
"Is ... this ... not ... good ... enough?" She mumbled between the kisses, her drunkenness also suddenly becoming clear to the intoxicated boy.
His eyes widened as he was suddenly panicked by the situation - worrying that he'd somehow taken advantage of a damaged girl who was now drunk. He gently pushed her away from his neck and shot her a concerned look as her face was also visibly panicked.
"D- Did I do something wrong?" She stammered, the fog now lifting and her previous sexually charged energy being replaced with anxiety.
"No Lana. You didn't do anything wrong." He quickly spoke, trying to prevent her self doubt. "You just seemed a bit... off... Are you sure we should do this?"
She sat in silence for a moment, thinking about his words.
I seemed off?
Oh god I did my dissociated sex thing didn't I?
I've fucked everything up.
I shouldn't have kissed him.
He thinks I'm some crazy slut now.
I'm so gross and pathetic.
I've ruined everything.
Tears began to form in her eyes as she continued to internally tear herself down, hanging her head in shame and crawling off Eddie.
He instantly noticed her upset and reached out to stop her from getting out of the van but she brushed him off, trying to hide her crying face.
"Hey, no I'm sorry." Eddie said in a soft voice, also worrying that he'd messed everything up and had hurt her feelings. "What's up Lana? I didn't mean to upset you."
The previous sexual adrenaline was now gone for both of them, almost immediately replaced by intense anxiety.
Sniffling, she thought about sitting in silence until she could stop crying - however long that may be - but then decided to just speak her mind since she'd probably fucked up everything anyway.
"You think I'm a disgusting slut now, don't you?" She cried, putting her head in her hands, sat on the edge of the van floor with her feet touching the ground and facing the lake. All of the beautiful memories from today she had now destroyed. "And that's why you don't want to have sex with me."
That's what's wrong? Really?
Eddie couldn't help but laugh slightly at how ridiculous her claims were.
How could he ever think those things about her? It just wouldn't happen.
"Don't be silly Lana. I don't think you're disgusting or a slut... I could never think of you like that... And you think I don't want to have sex with you?" He lightly scoffed at that last part, prompting her to turn back around to face him in surprise. "I would love to sleep with you. But I want you to be present and maybe more sober - you just went like a robot a little bit back then... But that's okay, I get it you know?"
He gets it?
His words made her panic considerably less but there were still tears falling down her face and her bottom lip quivered slightly.
If she wasn't too drunk to feel truly embarrassed, she probably would've ran into the woods in an attempt to hide her vulnerability, but as she had been doing with Eddie far too often for her liking recently, she let her guard drop and quietly whispered.
"You get it?"
The innocent look on her face - one he knew came from a place of darkness - made his heart burst and he held open his arms in a hope that she would embrace him.
"Way more than you think I do." He shot her a reassuring look which she finally gave into, crawling over and curling up in his lap.
She hid her face in his chest and curled into a ball, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry." She whimpered quietly as he rubbed her back. "I don't mean to go... robotic... I just... leave my body sometimes."
Eddie placed a kiss on her head, a gentle gesture to show her that he wasn't annoyed.
"It's okay Lana, really it is. I'm more than happy with just kissing you." He whispered with a small chuckle. "I like you... a lot... And I want to... make you feel safe and okay."
His words were quickly making the butterflies and euphoria return, the tears stopping and her heart fluttering again.
I haven't fucked everything up.
He actually likes me!
Oh my fucking god.
I can't wait to tell Robin about this.
I'm so happy.
"And I know you don't like talking about it, but after what that bastard did to you it's completely understandable that you'd leave your body in sex... okay? So stop blaming yourself... please." He continued, placing another kiss on her head. "You are so much better than you realise. None of it is your fault."
The words felt like a magic spell he'd somehow chanted and managed to make everything feel good again. She sat up straight and faced him, still sniffling a tiny bit but with a small smile on her face, to which he returned with a grin.
He had been worrying that maybe he'd messed everything up, but upon seeing her smile, he knew that it was all okay and the knot in his stomach quickly loosened.
"You're so beautiful." He grinned, his voice still quiet and soft. She blushed and looked down in response, but he quickly placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face again. "I'm serious Lana, you are so fucking beautiful."
He's so perfect.
"God Eddie..." She sniffed quietly and then grinned. "You are so fucking soppy."
Before he could respond, she placed a quick kiss on his lips and kept her face close to his.
"But I think that's why I like you."
Sooo I've never rly written anything smutty before and idk how good this is but I hope u all enjoyed lol x
Pls don't forget to vote and comment it means a lot !! Ty xx