Peeta's POV.
I jolt awake from a nightmare.
I take in my surroundings. Katniss is soundly sleeping beside, Thank God.
But just to make sure I pull her closer to me to listen to her heart beat. Yes, She's still with me.
I sight in relief. It was just a nightmare, She's still next to me.
After my nightmare I don't think I'll be able to sleep any longer, so I decide to go paint a little.
I cautiosly slide out of bed, trying my best not to wake Katniss, which will be hard with my clumsy heavy steps and Katniss's extremily accurate hunger skills.
And sure enough, as soon as my hand touched the door knob, Katniss is awake.
"Peeta?" She asks sleepily, as if she hadn't waken up entirely.
"Yeah, it's just me. Don't worry, go back to sleep." I whisper to her, walking towards her and rwaching out for her cheek, stronking it lightly.
"Where are you going ?" She asks taking my hand in her small one.
"I had a nightmare, I'm going to paint a little." I whisper to her, drawing circules with my thumb in her hand.
"Are you alright?" She asks.
I chuckle. She us alwaysso protective over the ones she cared about. "I'm fine." I say kissing her lips lightly. "Go back to sleep, okay?"
"Okay." she answers. "I love you." she says. It's weird that, although Katnissalready told me this around a million times, I still feel as if it's the first time she told me those words. And I fall in love with her all over again.
"I love you too." I whisper. With that I give her one last kiss and go out the door.
I head to my paint room, that Katniss herself prepared for me when I moved in. I didn't change a single thing. Eveything is left the way Katniss put it, and that somehow makes her feel proud if herself. I see why, she should feel proud of herself, with all the things she ever done.
I pick up a blank canvas and paint for a while. Soonthe sun is rising. Since it's summer already the sun rises earlier than before, but I decide to go and prepare the breakfast anyway.
When I getting the kitchen Katniss is already there, setting the table.
"Good morning!" I say. Katniss looks up and allows a small smile cross her lips.
"Hi! I didn't know you would come down so early. I was going to make you breakfast as a surprise, but I guess you blew it." She jokes.
I look at the table that Katniss just finished setting. Apperently Katniss decided to use the good plates this time. She barely never used them, They're her favorites. She says They're only for special ocasions. She also set some brigthyellow flowers in the table.
I smile.
"Dandelions?" I ask.
Katniss looks down and smiles wider. "i thought we could have a pretty table, for a change."
I smile wider and go to her. I rest my hands on her cheeks and make her look at me. A grin appears on my face and Katniss gives me a delicate smile. I kiss her nose making her smirk.
"It's perfect. " I whisper to her, referring to the table.
"I thought we could have something special today, it is the first day of summer." Katniss says, and with that she connects our lips together.
"Let's go have breakfast." I say.
"Yes, just a second." Katniss says. She goes to the fridge and takes a jar of orange Juice and some cheese, while I sit in the table. Katnisa comes and sits in front of me, taking a cheese bun from the basket with bread in it.
I take a piece of bread and put cheese in it.
We eat in a comfortable silence and after that we do the dishes.
As soon as We're about to sit down in the couch the phone rings.
"I'll get it." I say standing up. I stumble to the phone and pick it.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hi! Is that you, Peeta?" The voice asks.
"Who is this?" I ask, not caring to be polite.
"It's Plutarch."
"Oh, hi Plutarch." I greet. "Why are you calling?"
"Well, Peeta, as you might know here in two weeks it'll be one year since the last Quarter Quell. And there will be celebrations here in the Capitol. And it is requested the presence of all the former Victors for the one week celebration." Says Plutarch.
I let the information in. It's been a year since the Quarter Quell? It feels like ages ago. And both me and Katniss have to go to the Capitol to celebrate it? How are we supposed to do that? How is Katniss going to cope with being in the place where she lost Prim? How am I supposed to cope with being in the place where I was tortured? We simply can't go. I feel myself starting to shiver when teminding that awfull place that made me loose almost everything, my sanity included.
Memories of that cell are still fresh in my memory, and so are the screams and cries of pain.
"Peeta?" Plutarch's voice on the other side of the line brings me back.
I look at my surroundings. I'm curled in a ball under the small table that has the phone on it, my hands covering my hears, although I'm still holding the phone.
"We-e can't g-go." I stutter.
"Are you feeling alright?" Plutarch asks.
"Yes." I say trying to regain my compusture, but miserably failing. "We can't go to the Capitol." I try to sound strong, but my voice comes shaky.
"But, Peeta, Ms. Paylor requested for you both in here. Just like all the other tributes. You'll see you like it! There will be a marvelous party. I'm sure you and Katniss are going to enjoy it. And-" I don't even let Plutarch finish. I hang off, trying to controll the will to throw the phone to the ground, and brake it.
I'm not going back to the Capitol. I can't. That's the place where Katniss slipped away from me. I can't be there, what if I have a flashback, and hurt her, or worst, kill her.
I feel my breath quicken and my sanity slipping away from my grasp, as I shakily walk to the living room.
As soon as I walk through the door Katniss turns towards me smiling. I try to smile back and pretend everything is okay, but I fail.
Katniss smile is replaced with a frown when she sees my expression. She puts her arms around my neck.
"What happened?" She asks worriedly.
I don't answer, it's better for her if she doesn't know. We're not going, anyway. Theu can't make us go. Instead I put my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me, Burying my face in her hair.
"Peeta, what's going on?" Katniss asks, getting even more worried.
I still don't answer. I simply shut my eyes and try to controll myself, not letting the memories take hold of me.
I try to focus on Katniss's scent. She always smells like wild flowers.
"Peeta, who called?" Katniss keeps insisting.
"Plutarch." I mumble, but my answer is muffled by Katniss' hair, as I nuzzle deeper into it.
"What did he want?" Katniss asks calmly, stronking my hair. She always notices when I'm about to loose myself or break down, like right now. And when it happens she always strokes my hair to calm me down. It usually works, although sometimes it takes hours to get me to my usual self again.
"I need to speak to Haymitch." I say pulling away and heading out the door, ignoring Katniss' questions. Surely he'll know what to do. He's the person who always helped us through this type of stuff.
I run to his house and knock on the door, which, to my surprise, is locked.
Haymitch soon opens the door, and looks at me, as if guessing what I'm here for.
"Come in." he simply says going inside. I follow him cautiously, as if waiting for someone to jump on top of me.
"I'm going to guess you already know about what's going to happen next week?" Haymitch says, sitting in his armchair and taking a swig of his alcohol.
I nod. "We don't have to go, do we?" I ask.
"I'm afraid we do." Haymitch answers neutrally.
"No, we don't." i whisper, not letting the harsh reality of going back to the Capitol get in my head.
"Yes, Peeta. We do. I know you don't want to, but there's no other option." Haymitch says.
And That's the moment evrything goes over my head, this is real. I'm going to the Capitol. The place where all those days full of fear and pain happened. It's as if I was back in my cell, everything is happening all over again, Snow blackmailing me, walking up without even knowing what my name was, that misterious liquid being inserted in my system, causing an excruciate pain flow all over my body, Katniss slipping away from my grasp. In the middle of all this hazze of thoughs I can make out Katniss outside yelling at Haymitch to open him the door. Evrything comes crashing on me and I'm paralised, only able to say a few words.
"But I don't want to."
And after that it's as if everything around me goes black, leaving me to relive my nightmares.
"Peeta, Peeta, Hey look at me, can you hear me?" I hear a voice ask. Katniss's voice.
Slowly I'm brought back to reality. Katniss is knealed in front of me, worry stanped across her face. I'm sat in the middle of the floor, rocking back and forth, legs close to my chest while my head is buried in my knees.
It happened again. I haven't had one of These attacks in months, since the first time I went to town with Haymitch, 2 months ago. Suddenley I feel ashamed of myself being so weak. Some sort of anger towards myself rises to my head, and I can feel tears of frustration pricking my eyes.
"It's okay, Peeta. It's not real."Katniss says engulfing me in a hug. I rest my head on her shoulder, feeling very tired all of a sudden.
"I don't want to go back there." I whisper. I can feels tears running down my back and I know Katniss is crying. Obviously she also doesn't want to go.
"Me neither." she whispers. "But unless we will be together." she says trying to bring a bright side of this gloomy situation.
"Together." I whisper.
"Yes, Together."