A pure white void is seen as the huge blocky letter title "RWBY CHIBI" shows up along with the team RWBY but smaller
"RWBY CHIBI!!!"
All of a sudden a chibi (Y/n) and Salem pop into existence
(Y/n)"huh!? What!? WHAT IS THIS PLACE!?! WHY AM I SMALL!?! WHY IS MY HEAD BIG!?! WHAT IS THIS HELL!?!"
Salem"a believe it's called the gag segment"
(Y/n)"LET ME OUT OF THIS HELL!!!"
the scene changed to a kitchen where (Y/n) and Ruby are seen behind a table with the ingredients for cookies while Yang, Weiss, Blake and Salem sat in chairs watching them like an audience with the sign "laugh" above them
Ruby"hi! And welcome back to outlandish and bizarre products! I'm your host Ruby Rose who asks all the obvious questions"
(Y/n)"what the hell did you do to my house!?"
(Y/n) decided to question his sanity later and just roll with it
(Y/n)"do you like to make cookies but hate all the cookie make work?"
Ruby"I know I do"
She laughed as well as a nonexistent audience
(Y/n)"well forget all you know about making cookies"
He grabbed all the ingredients and pushed them off the table before slamming a small oven on the table
(Y/n)"and say hello to the amazing Cookie-inator"
The nonexistent audience awed at the bizarre looking oven
Blake"where are those voices coming from?"
Ruby"Cookie what?"
(Y/n)"Cookie-inator! This amazing device will make cookies out of anything you have in the kitchen"
Ruby"wait a minute did you say anything!?"
(Y/n)"anything"
Ruby"anything?"
(Y/n)"yes, anything"
Ruby"anything?"
(Y/n)"anything..."
Ruby"anything?"
(Y/n)"I'll get you and I'll make it look like a horrendous accident!"
He then grabbed a entire pack of eggs and took the lid off of the oven
(Y/n)"you can put anything like this entire pack of eggs, this bag of flour, a bottle of ketchup"
Yang"what?"
He then grabbed a gun making sure it was loaded
(Y/n)"the second amendment"
Weiss"ok this is too much"
He then shoved a fire extinguisher
(Y/n)"even a fire extinguisher"
Salem"darling I don't think that's safe to put in..."
(Y/n)"now close the lid watch as the substances are mixed up and placed into cookie shaped holes in the machine. Then place it the oven"
Blake"won't the house burn down from that?"
He opened his oven and threw the smaller oven hard into it and slammed the door shut
(Y/n)"now you'll have fully baked cookies only minutes away"
Ruby"did you say "minutes away"? That's impossible!"
(Y/n)'s eye twiitched from insanity as he kept his smile
(Y/n)"you're not just wrong. You're stupid"
Audience"ooooh!"
Ruby"now wait just a minute"
(Y/n)"and you're ugly just like your mom"
Ruby"did you just call my mother ugly?"
(Y/n) finally broke as he brought out a huge huge knife scaring Ruby
(Y/n)"shut up! I mean it! I will end you and the entire RWBY franchise right this fucking instant!"
In frustration he slammed the huge knife down making WBY and Salem gasp
Blake"(Y/n)!"
Weiss"your hand!"
(Y/n)"what about it?"
He looked down noticing his hand now off
(Y/n)"oh! It seems that I have chopped it off. SON OF BI-"
Ruby quickly made a silence motion with her neck bleeping out (Y/n)'s words of pain before the screen was replaced with a image of chibi Blake hanging from a thin line with the words "hang in there"
Scene change
Weiss is seen sitting down on the couch relaxing before Ruby comes running down the stairs
Ruby"Weiss I'm gonna go get something, can you record the episode of the show I've been watching while I'm gone? Thanks!"
Weiss"wait what!? Ruby but-"
It was already too late as Ruby left the house before Weiss started at the blu-ray player next to the TV with a cold sweat
Weiss"d-don't worry Weiss it can't be that complicated..."
Weiss sweated nervously as she looked at the blu-ray player intensely before wiping a towel across her forehead
Weiss"just press the record button"
She looked at the blu-ray nervously moving her finger across the buttons trying to find the record button as the words on the buttons turned into gibberish
Weiss"I-I can't..."
Button:apratiprerdact
Weiss"what?"
Button: apratiprerdact scavern"
Weiss"wh-what is it- I can't..."
Button: ravern din scavern
Button:kishmearga
Weiss"I CAN'T DO THIS!!!"
Weiss fell to the floor flailing her arms around as there were swirls in her eyes while Blake watched her
Blake"it's the red square button"
Weiss got back up before pressing the record button trying to look confident
Weiss"I-I knew that! I was just fooling around..!"
Blake"uh huh...."
The next scene shows (Y/n) playing GGXrd Rev2 before hearing his doorbell ring
(Y/n)"ugh... Socializing..."
(Y/n) dragged his feet across the floor opening the door seeing Cinder and Neo in girl scout outfits with big smiles on their faces
Cinder"hello kind sir, would you like to buy our girl scout cookies?"
Neo held up a sign saying "$4.99 a box!"
(Y/n) stared at them with a deadpan look before closing his door
Cinder"damnit! I knew this wouldn't work!"
Neo closed her eyes thinking for a second before a lightbulb and an idea appeared over her head. She smashed the lightbulb
(Y/n)"back to dragon install-"
DING DONG
(Y/n)"tch!"
He gained a agitated look before going to his door and opening it seeing Summer selling the girl scout cookies but all the boxes were empty with her face stuffed and crumbs on her cheeks
Summer"-stuffed mouth- wulf yuf likef-"
He slammed the door
(Y/n)"nice try I'm immune to cute milfs"
He tried walking to his back to the couch but the doorbell rang as soon as he took one step
(Y/n)"FOR FUCKS!!!"
he slammed the door open seeing Raven in the girl scout uniform but with thigh highs, a short skirt, her cleavage showing and a seductive stare
Raven"hi there~ I've heard you like milfs~ well this one has cookies and milk for you-"
He slammed the door in her face
(Y/n)"nice try thot but the Holy Order will not accept such lewd crimes"
(Y/n) suddenly had on Ky's combat uniform and thunderseal in his hand as he held it high
ROAR OF THE SPARK INTENSIFIES
(Y/n)"NO MATTER HOW MANY MILFS THESE GIRLSCOUTS WILL SEND MY HEART WILL NOT WAVER TO SUCH THOTTERY!!! I WILL NOT GIVE INTO TEMPTATION!!!"
DING DONG
The doorbell rang once more as he tore his door off its hinges but was not prepared for what he saw
Willow"this so so embarrassing... H-hello c-can you-"
Without letting Willow finish her sentence he grabbed her shoulders with his wallet in hand
(Y/n)"I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK!!!"
He then pulled Willow into his house as later that night Willow's moans filled the air
The scene changed showing Yang wearing a headband, her thumbs in bandages and broken controllers around her along with stacks of books with one at the top saying "how to unga bunga 101"
Yang"finally, after three weeks of dropping combos, learning dust loop and thinking of every scenario in my head. I can finally beat Ruby!"
Yang countlessly has been defeated by the TOTSUGEKI multiple times. She even has gone insane from all of them
Yang"this time I will beat Ruby's spam Totsugekis! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!!!"
Yang ran out the room and busted Ruby's door down holding two controllers making Ruby fall off the bed
Yang"WE END THIS TODAY!!!"
Ruby"so I see you've come for redemption, very well I will humor you"
Yang and Ruby clraced downstairs while Weiss sat on the couch holding a box of tissues as she watched a romance drama
Rome"I'm sorry Liz... But I cheated on you"
Liz"-GASP- n-no! How could you!? And with who!? Who do you love more than me!?"
Weiss"-sniff- who is this harlot!?"
Rome"the woman that I truly love.... It's...."
Weiss scored closer off the couch waiting for a name but instead saw the title screen for Guilty Gear Xrd pop up interrupting her show
Weiss"WHAT!?! NO!!! GO BACK, I NEED TO KNOW!!!"
She was then grabbed by Yang and thrown off the couch as the two sisters took her spot and immediately started fighting
Weiss"SO IT WAS YOU TWO!!!"
Yang"not now Weiss I'm busy!"
Weiss"MARK MY WORDS YOU TWO!!! I WEISS SCHNEE WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR MAKING ME MISS MY FAVORITE DRAMA!!!"
Ruby"yeah, uh huh"
The two completely ignored her as she stomped off
Few rounds later
Yang was finally able to defeat Ruby's onslaught of Totsugekis with just a smidge of health left as her controller was now broken
Yang"FINALLY!!!"
Ruby"noooooo! My Totsugeki!"
Yang started laughing insanely as her eye twitched and her eyes were red
Yang"IF TOTSUGEKI CAN'T STOP ME THEN NO ONE CAN!!!"
(Y/n)"pick up that controller"
Yang froze up as she felt (Y/n) behind her and saw him pick Elphelt
Yang"w-w-w-wait I didn't-"
(Y/n)"pick. It. Up."
Yang lost every round while Weiss watched with a mischievous smile
Weiss"I told you I'll make you pay"
The scene now shows Blake in a stance ready to leap as she glared at Kokonoe who was also ready to prounce. The both of them started at each other intensely hissing as each other
Blake"just because you're (Y/n)'s cat doesn't mean I'll go easy on you...."
Kokonoe"mrow..."
The two stared each other intensely before pouncing at each other
Blake"HAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Kokonoe"MEROOOOOOW!!!"
The two of them then landed in the middle as they fought over a yarn ball making a dust cloud with both of them making cat noises
Salem"Blake, have you seen Kokonoe? It's time for her..."
Salem stopped as she saw Blake and Kokonoe both tied up in yarn staring at her making the room silent for a solid five minutes
Salem". . .so. . . She's busy then, I'll leave you two be"
Salem walked back out of the room as Blake and Kokonoe looked at each other before going back to fighting
The scene now shows Salem entering the house in the dead of night with the lights off as she held a box close to her and tip toes her way up stairs
Salem"very quiet now..."
She carefully made it back upstairs and went to (Y/n)'s room, she made sure he was asleep before going inside
Salem"now I'm sure he'll be tempted to wed me if I dress in this~"
Salem opened the box bringing out a familiar outfit before putting it on and getting in bed with (Y/n)
Salem"I can't wait for you to see your surprise~"
She giggled lightly before going to sleep
The next day
(Y/n)"-yawn- what a good morning..."
(Y/n) rolled to his side making him face Salem who had a smile on her face but something was different
Salem"good morning honey, are you ready for our wedding?"
(Y/n) took a closer look now seeing that Salem is now wearing Elphet's dress that hugger her perfectly
(Y/n)"HUH!?!"
he flailed his arms before falling off the bed
(Y/n)"Salem!? Why are you wearing Elphet's dress!?"
Salem"what do you mean darling? Aren't we getting married?"
(Y/n)"what!?"
Salem then reached into her breasts pulling out a bullet
Salem"now don't move~"
(Y/n)'s face turned red as steam emitted from his head before falling unconscious
Salem"oops, maybe I went a bit too far"