15 | he didn't love me
He thought long and hard about what Suzu had said to him. He thinks a lot about everything Suzu says. She was a very important person in his life once upon a time.
So, whenever he looks at Yunha now he just thinks about what Suzu says to him. He doesn't want to be the only cause on Yunha's pain. That's not fair to her. That's why he's taking Suzu's advice and he's going to end it with her. How well Yunha takes it is completely up to her and not Taehyung's fault. Nobody told her to fall so deeply for him so early in a relationship. Okay, to be fair, he fell for Suzu pretty quickly but that's different. Well, it isn't but he also just doesn't care.
Currently, he's in his own house on another night Yunha decided to invite herself over without his permission. She made dinner for the two and now they were supposed to be watching a movie but she was over in the kitchen washing dishes he never asked for help with. Everything about her was just starting to annoy him. Well, it already did but now it's more. He wanted to get rid of her.
"Tomorrow do you want to go out for dinner and drinks? Have a little date night since it's the weekend?" Yunha asked which only made him release another deep sigh. He stared at the movie staying quiet for a moment.
"No," he answered blankly. Yunha looked clearly baffled by his response but she tried to not seem upset. She bit her lip nervously, "Oh, are you busy?"
"No."
"Are you mad at me?" She asked leaving the kitchen so she could see him more clearly. He seemed relaxed sitting on his couch watching the movie.
"Actually I am," Taehyung said finally turning to look at her. Her brows furrowed in confusion and slight hurt. Her lips parted to speak but he began speaking again. His eyes were trained on hers and they lacked any livelihood staring at her like he was bored.
"You invite yourself over whenever you want. You always need to be touching me. You need constant attention it's like you're a fucking kid that needs to be taken care of," Taehyung said harshly, "I can't stand the way you talk. I can't stand anything about you and honestly, I don't love you-if that wasn't obvious."
He even snickered catching sight of the tears already flowing from Yunha's eyes. It made his eyes roll in annoyance, "So, if you don't mind getting out of my house, that'd be great."
"So... t-that's it?" Yunha asked, her voice raising a little bit and shaky at that, she was pissed off but he didn't care. He just nodded, "That's it."
"Alright so why'd you date me if you can't stand anything about me?" She asked still trying to speak up to Taehyung trying to seem stronger than she was. He just groaned, as if he was tired of all this already, "I don't think you really wanna know."
"Obviously I do you fucking asshole," Yunha cried but not a single word bothered him.
He laughed nodding his head, "Alright I'll tell you."
He looked to her again as he got up to his feet moving closer to her. He waited until he was directly in front of her making her have to tilt her head upward to look at him. "Suzu."
He could see the twitch in her eyes, the way they reddened and watered. She tried to blink them away but it only made them slip. "What?"
"I said, Suzu," Taehyung clarified with a low voice, "Why is that surprising? Didn't she tell you she's my ex girlfriend?"
His brows furrowed feigning confused, "She told me she told you? Was she lying?"
"You slept with her?" Yunha asked full on crying now, "Is that what it is? You got with me so you could go back to her? Or was it to get back at her?"
Taehyung took a deep breath with a shrug, "I've slept with her a lot of times." What was he saying right now? That they hooked many times behind Yunha's back. Or did he mean they when they were together? She couldn't understand any of this. Was she really being told all this? How was Suzu involved? Why did it matter? Is that the only reason he ever reached out to her?
All along were Taehyung and Suzu just using her? But for some reason she just wanted to keep asking him why. Why? Why? Why? "How long has it been since you broke up?"
"Four months before I met you," Taehyung answered honestly with a smile, "You were a nice distraction until Suzu came back."
Taehyung waited for her to say something but she never did, "Look, I'm sorry okay?" His face softened as he brought a hand up to cup her face, "I trusted her when she said she told you. I thought you were okay with it but I just felt so bad still."
"I'm so sorry for being so mean right now. I didn't mean it, okay?" Taehyung said with rounded eyes, "I just, it's very hard for me to see the person I love act like we never existed. It's unfair to you. I know it is and I guess I just took it out on you and said some really mean things but Suzu just upsets me so much."
"How can we be in a loveless relationship? I tried to love you, I really did but I can't. I'm still in love with Suzu and I tried getting over her with you b-"
His head whipped to the side, hair fanning over his face. It took him a second to react only because he was holding back a lot of anger. His teeth pressed together tightly trying to force himself to not react.
"Fuck you and Suzu can go to hell t-" Yunha could tell even finish her sentence. Taehyung had a tight grip on her bicep yanking her toward the door. "Ow!"
"I don't care what you say to me," He turned her to look at him pressing her into the wall, "But if I hear you say one bad thing about Suzu and I'll make you regret it."
With the same grip on her arm looking into her watery eyes, he let his face muscles relax. A smile smoothing over his face making him look gentle once more. "Why don't you go home now? You seem upset, I forgive you for slapping me but I think it's time you go home. Have a safe drive, or walk, I don't know."
With that he quickly turned her to the door and closed the door. His eyes fell down to his free hand, small red lines from where his fingers dug in appearing on his palm.
He stretched his neck to the side releasing some tension before walking back to his living room finally alone in the comfort of his own home. He took a seat on the middle cushion of his gray couch, crossed an ankle with the knee of his other leg. He took the remote and pressed play on the movie.
Taehyung told Suzu he wouldn't hurt her, and he didn't. Sure, she cried a little but he didn't hurt her. She's actually very safe and sound once she gets done acting broken. It's not like it was a secret that Taehyung didn't love Yunha.
He thought he was obvious. He knew all of Suzu's friends could see it except Yunha. Sure, she was of big help getting Suzu to talk to him again but that's pretty much all she was good for. He hated the way she talked.
He hated how she kissed him.
He hated having sex with her.
The only thing that made it bearable was imagining Suzu as the one on top of him, or below him, however she liked it. He's tried to recreate what they once shared but it was so hard. He wanted the real thing. He missed holding her in his arms, kissing her lovingly, loving her gently.
He wonders how long it'll take her to be knocking on his door now that he's planted the seed.
...
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