When the front door closes behind him and Hex leaves, it feels like he takes my oxygen with him.
Like my life force is gone.
My gut is telling me to go out there and drag him back into the safety of our apartment but I know deep down that he needs to be alone right now, he needs to clear his head before the funeral tomorrow.
I run to the window and pull back the curtain, watching as he walks down the street until he's out of sight. I don't know if I should be worried or relieved that he didn't take his car. At least there is no chance he'll end up on the Eastside; it's too far. But on the other hand, he's walking the streets without the protection of his car.
I pull the curtain back into place and sigh, rubbing my forehead harshly, ignoring the sick feeling in my gut that's trying to pull me in the direction of Hex and I wonder if I should just go to bed and sleep the feeling away.
But I know I'm in for a long night, no matter how much I try to sleep; I'm too wired with worry for Hex to even attempt it.
"Come on Teddy" I call him over with a 'pspsps' and take a seat on the couch. Teddy walks over slowly, his tail high above him as he rubs his face on the corner of the couch. "Just you and me tonight" I mumble as he jumps up and sits in my lap.
*
I can't help the nervous jitters that I get as I sit. My leg begins to bounce and my hands pick at my nail-beds. Our bond feels okay so I know nothing bad has happened but I can't shake the feeling and the longer he's gone, the worse it's getting.
Teddy had fallen asleep long ago, laying with his paws stretched above his head.
The TV lights up the room and the noise keeps me sane but all I can focus on is the ticking of the clock on the wall, waiting to hear the door open behind me.
It had started raining about half an hour ago and it hadn't let up since. Its heavy and the tin roof is making it much louder but its peaceful and its calming me.
I freeze when I hear a noise. I don't know what it is and after a moment I relax again, convinced its just the rain.
Except when it sounds again and I clearly identify it as a knock at the front door.
Teddy's ears perk up but he remains asleep, however I am not as calm as him.
The hope that it had been Hex diminishes almost as soon as it enters my mind. Hex has a key, he wouldn't bother knocking.
I scoot Teddy away and tip-toe around the corner; like whoever is at the door is able to hear me over the rain. I can't see through the stained glass that is on either side of the front door, its fogged up and even the porch light doesn't help.
My mind runs through who it could be.
Harley? Mum? Charlie? No, it wouldn't be Charlie. Maybe it is Hex and he lost his key... but why wouldn't he call after I didn't answer?
Another name floats in the back of my mind but I don't acknowledge it.
I hear another knock, this time its louder and it makes me jump. A murmur of a voice can be heard too now that I'm closer; it's still not identifiable though.
I creep up to the door, hoping whoever it is doesn't look through the stained glassed windows and see my blurred figure in the hallway.
I release a sigh of relief when I rest a hand against the back of the front door and know that even if they were to look inside they wouldn't be able to see me now as I hide behind the wood.
I wish I had muted the TV so that I can hear better but now that I'm only a door away from whoever is on the other side, I can hear them.
They grunt and curse, their shoes scuff the ground.
I hear them walk away but only a few feet and I can picture them in my mind with their back to the front door as they look out over the carpark.
I take it as an opportunity to peak my head around the door and try to see anything through the stained glass.
I quickly wipe the fog from the glass and peer through; my hands cupping the area around my eyes. Its dark outside except for the porch light, I had left it on for Hex to turn off when he gets home.
I see the figure, its definitely a man and it doesn't take me long to identify him.
I gasp and it causes the windows to fog again. He begins to turn and I quickly hide behind the door.
I've never been so thankful that I forgot to put the key back under the doormat.
"C'mon Rose! Get the fuck out here!" I can hear Ace clearly now as he walks up to the door. He pounds on the wood again and it vibrates on my hands.
He was stumbling when I saw him and the slur of his words confirms my suspicion that he's drunk.
"Your cars here, bitch!" I wince at the scream that tears from his throat.
Its enough to make my heart pound and my hands shake.
I need to call Hex.
I don't care that he could possible see me through the windows as I jog on shaky legs back into the lounge room in an attempt to locate my phone.
"I see you!" A dry sob leaves my throat "is that you Poppy?" My chin wobbles as I rip through the blankets on the couch. Teddy runs away from my frantic behaviour and hides somewhere in the direction of my bedroom.
I find my phone when it falls out of the blanket and lands on the floor. My hands shake as I bring up Hex's number.
I walk to the lounge room windows as it rings in my hand. I pull back the curtain and peak at Ace, he's still standing at my door, so close that his nose is almost touching it and I shiver knowing that only moments ago I was a few centimetres from him.
Hex doesn't pick up and when the ringing stops, Ace's head snaps to look at the window as I make eye contact with him. I gasp and pull the curtain back into place but I know for sure he saw me, and even if he didn't, he definitely saw the curtain move.
"Oh my god, oh my god" I whisper to myself and call Hex again.
"Poppy!" I swallow deeply as he calls my name. "Where is he! Send him out here!" I wince again at the volume of his tone. I have no doubt it'll only be a short amount of time before neighbours hear and call the police.
Hex doesn't answer again and I curse silently and throw my phone on the couch.
My hands tangle in my hair as I walk back and forth before quickly rushing around the house and double checking all the windows and doors are locked in the rest of the apartment.
He's still knocking when I enter the lounge room again, this time hard enough to make the door rattle.
"What do I do? What do I do?" I whisper to myself as I panic. My eyes well with tears but I push them away, I need to focus right now.
"Rose!" the scream Ace releases from deep in his throat rips through my soul and I race towards my phone that remains laying on the couch. Teddy is nowhere to be seen and I have no doubt that Ace's screams are scaring him further.
I locate my phone and pick it up with shaky hands. Hex hasn't called me back and I curse him for it.
My fingers shake as I press number after number. It rings only for a short amount of time before a female voice can be heard.
"Police, fire or ambulance?"