"I can't believe you have a fuckin' pool!"
"Taiju's the only one who likes to swim. Hakkai and I barely use it. We prefer the jacuzzi," clarified the middle Shiba. "It's high maintenance and expensive, but it's good if you like privacy. I'm sure you, of all people, can afford a pool though."
"I'd rather not have my house turned into a mosquito breeding hospital." The two-piece swimsuit Yuzuha lent her did nothing to hide her scars. But it wasn't like Yuzuha had never seen them before, so she didn't mind. Reina hopped into the warm water of the jacuzzi—because apparently, no sane person would take a dive in the middle of winter—with a big splash. "I wonder what chlorinated water tastes like though."
"You wanna drink it?" Yuzuha giggled, hanging the towels. "Have you never swum before?"
"Not in a swimming pool, at least," answered the younger girl as Yuzuha climbed into the water. "There used to be a river near the house," she explained hovering her arm over the bubbling water. "It's pretty deep and the current is mellow, so Victoire would teach me how to swim and fight underwater there."
"Your house sounds like a fantasy castle."
Chortling at that, Reina couldn't help but shake her head. "Shiki's house was in the rural parts of Osaka, so it's still...natural, I guess?" She shrugged, trying to remember what the surroundings of that house used to look like. "There are fields and forests and rivers and lakes. It's a peaceful place to live in if you just ignore the mansion isolated from the rest."
"I'd like to visit there someday." Yuzuha sighed wishfully, leaning against the jacuzzi. Reina stared at her, unable to tell her that she didn't really know what 'there' looked like since she was always locked inside the house. Her only world back then was the house and the forest where she would secretly meet up with Victoire. She didn't know about the locals or the rice fields and traditional festivals. She didn't know about the snails clinging to the crops, or the scarecrows built by children. She only knew the forest and the house. Even after getting out, she hardly remembered a single detail about that village.
"Hey, Rei," Yuzuha suddenly called out and Reina realized she was staring at her too. "Do you like someone? Anybody you wanna date right now? Mitsuya or Baji or Chifuyu or even Mikey?"
Yuzuha honestly didn't know what she wanted to hear. A dull ache spread in her mouth as she bit the insides of her cheek, gauging Reina's reaction to her absurd question. Of course, she couldn't help but notice how close Reina was with the boys. From the way she seemed to be so at ease with them to how much she obviously trusted them. It wasn't like her, but Yuzuha felt something akin to jealousy burning inside her; jealousy for a girl who wasn't even hers.
Reina blinked, tilting her head to the side as she wondered what to answer. Eventually, she just shrugged. "Feelings like... romantic attraction is a bit foreign to me." Perhaps she was born that way, or perhaps it was the fault of her upbringing. Either way, Reina could not bring herself to view someone as a life-long partner. "I can't say for sure whether I really love someone romantically or if I just love them in a way that's not romantic."
The ancient Greeks had seven types of love and while Reina was sure she could love someone for being her family and friends—it had been proven by how much she loved her siblings and Victoire, as well as the friends she made in Toman—she wasn't sure she was able to feel love for someone in a romantic or sexual way. She somehow always felt like they were her siblings by heart, never her lover. But at the same time, she craved to love and be loved in a special way.
"Ah, I think that makes sense." Yuzuha breathed out a sigh of relief, giggling lightly at Reina's puzzled face. It certainly wasn't the answer she was expecting—maybe she was expecting a love confession or a simple 'yes, I love one of them'—but hearing Reina admit her inability to differentiate between platonic and romantic love, if she could even have romantic attraction, actually made more sense.
"Whaddya mean by that?"
"You're...how do I say it, um, you're devoted, I guess?" Yuzuha flailed her arms with a slight grimace, shrugging at the conclusion she had reached. "Whether it be to the people you love or the role you chose to play, you're devoted to it. I mean"—she snorted—"not just anyone can pretend to be a boy if they wanna be a girl, ya know what I mean?"
"Well, I do like being both genders."
"But you're still Reina on some days, right?" Yuzuha recalled what she had told her the first time they met, all the semi-confessions about her being Nagarei and the reason behind that disguise. "Even so, you're devoted to the role of 'Nagarei' and kept it up. It's the same with how you love Mirai-chan and your brother. Even if it hurts and you wanna give up, even if you mess up and become irredeemable, you still love them...and I think loving someone so devotedly like that, even if it's not as a lover, is beautiful on its own."
"Devoted, huh?" Reina huffed, leaning against the jacuzzi with her head tilted back, offering the older girl a smile. "That's a first and...and a very nice way to put it. Thanks, Yuzuha."
"Anytime." If Yuzuha was blushing, it was due to the steam, not because Reina looked hot with droplets of water clinging onto her hair and eyelashes. It was not because the sight of water running down Reina's cheeks and falling from her jaw back to the jacuzzi made Yuzuha's cheeks warm. It was not because Reina's smile was so sweet and hot at the same time. It was certainly not because Yuzuha had a crush on Hokusei Reina.
Well. Yuzuha sank into the water. There goes my first love.
It was fleeting, but it was nevertheless beautiful and precious.
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"Finally!" Hakkai whined, turning to the stairs. "What took you so long?"
"Putting on a kimono is a fucking pain." It appeared Hakkai had found a way to talk with Reina without being shy, and that was by thinking of her as a boy. Reina honestly didn't mind and her appearance helped, but she still liked to tease him for being shy when he was so outgoing prior to the Christmas penance. "And you should compliment a girl before complaining. That's common courtesy."
"You're not even dressing up as a girl!"
"Hakkai, is your sister a dude now?"
As if on cue, Yuzuha stepped out of Reina's back, looking unimpressed at a now silent Hakkai. Mitsuya and the little girls, who were playing one of Hakkai's video games, snickered at the poor boy. Well, it was Hakkai and Mitsuya's idea to let the older girls have a spa day and go to the festival together, all while the boys took care of the younger girls. Reina actually felt bad and tried to decline, but Mitsuya waved her off, telling her it was his way of thanking her for giving Luna and Mana matching kimono sets.
"Rei-kun! So pretty!" Luna clung to Reina with sparkling eyes, and Reina immediately softened. There was just something about getting complimented by girls, no matter the age, that had her feeling fuzzy inside. "The kimono is pretty too! I love it! Thank you, Rei-kun!"
"Mana too! Thank you! Thanks, Rei-kun!"
Aww. The fuzziness intensified as both girls now clung to her. "Mitsuya—"
"You already have a sister," he shot her down immediately, with a fucking smile on his face, no less. "And we're late. Let's go."
Worth a shot.
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"Rei, I can see your disgust a mile away. Tone it down." Yuzuha snickered. Reina's face may be impassive as it was most of the time, but she could see the slight way her eyes crinkled upwards at the sight of the bustling crowd. "But is it okay to leave them alone?"
"They're big boys, Yuzuha," snarked the younger girl with a roll of her eyes. "They can be trusted on their own. The girls should enjoy a boyless hour sometimes, right?" Shouts of affirmation came from the younger girls, the Mitsuya girls latching onto Reina while the youngest Hokusei clung onto Yuzuha. Seeing as Reina was dressed as Nagarei, it was no wonder people kept whispering about them being a lovely couple.
Reina didn't hear them though, not with the ringing in her ears blocking the white noises. But Yuzuha heard them loud and clear, which was why her face felt warm despite the low temperature.
"Nanane! Nanane! An ema! Let's write an ema!" Mirai suddenly stopped latching onto Yuzuha, choosing to drag the older girl towards the ema stand, knowing full well Reina would inevitably follow them.
"Have you ever done this?"
"Nope." Reina usually avoided festivals or any crowded place in general. Mirai loved those places though, so she would compromise by making sure Marseille was with her or have her near the area in case Mirai needed help, but Reina was never in the festival or crowd itself.
It wasn't anything personal—actually, it was very personal. Crowds just made her skin itch. It drove her senses haywire, everything felt threatening, and her mood could change from a hundred to zero to minus infinity in such a volatile environment. So really, avoiding crowds was the best choice.
But Reina had decided to change, and that meant embracing things that would normally make her skin itch.
"You write your wishes here, then hang it there."
Accepting the wooden plaque Yuzuha bought for her, Reina hovered the marker above it, wondering what the hell she should write. Reina felt like she had too many wishes and none at the same time, while the other girls recited their wishes out loud.
"I hope Mama will play with me more."
"Mana too!"
"I want, uh, I want Rui-nii to come back and Nanane to continue making friends and a cooler camera next year."
"Hm...I wanna be a stronger person next year."
Reina honestly thought Yuzuha was strong enough, but she had a feeling it wasn't just about physical strength. And if Yuzuha could wish for something like that, then there was nothing wrong with what she wrote. How can one even be wrong in making wishes anyway?
"That's a very...broad wish?" Yuzuha gestured to the bold 'I want to succeed' written on the dangling plaque, sparing it one last glance before they continued walking around the shrine.
"More room for success, then."
"Is that a pun and does it work that way?"
"Yes, and who knows."
The festival wasn't so bad. Taking Marseille out during winter was a bad idea and in her excitement, the snake got too cold. And while the vet didn't call him sick, Marseille was still recommended to stay inside until spring. But even without the snake to scare people for her, Reina's senses weren't going as haywire as she thought they would be. Sure, she tensed when she felt someone getting too close to them and she'd crack her knuckles on reflex when someone bumped her shoulder or spoke too close to her ears, but she was fine. She was doing fine, and that was enough.
"Rei!" Someone called her name, causing the five girls to turn their heads. It was comical how Reina's face immediately twisted as if she had been forced to eat a decaying rat again at the sight of the idiotic trio from the first division (because Takemichi wasn't with them) plus Pehyan. Reina could not, for the love of her, see a single brain cell amongst the four boys.
"Well, it was fun while it lasted."
"Huh? What was?"
"My time away from you shitbrains."
"Anyways, where's Hakkai and Mitsuya?" Kazutora, ignoring Reina's harsh words because it was nothing but a normal Saturday at that point, asked. He looked around as if the two boys would pop out of nowhere. "If Yuzuha and Mitsuya's little sisters are here, then they're here too, right?"
"Rei and I ditched them."
"The fuck? Why?"
"They're grown boys, they'll live," Yuzuha repeated what Reina told her with a roll of her eyes, missing the proud and smug look on Reina's face as she flipped her hair. "What about you? Just arrived or something?"
"We're waiting for the fireworks," Baji answered, pointing to the sky. His answer made Reina grimace internally. The pops of fireworks sounded too similar to gunshots, and they rang in her ears unpleasantly. She hoped she wouldn't act 'weirdly' on instinct.
The nine of them continued walking around the shrine, Pehyan making sure to stay away from Reina after greeting her awkwardly, even though Reina had assured him that everything was forgiven. Reina thought nothing would happen, but an ema plaque just had to land beside Chifuyu's feet, followed by a loud wail.
"Huh? Takemitchy?"
"Chifuyu! Gimme that back!" Takemichi all but yelled in panic, but Chifuyu responded by throwing the plaque to who knows where, earning another wail as Takemichi ran past them. "You fuckin' jerk! Why'd you throw it?!"
"Sorry. Reflex."
"What's up with him?" Yuzuha asked Mitsuya, Hakkai, and Hinata, who came not long after.
"Takemitchy was being secretive 'bout his ema and accidentally threw it away."
"That's so dumb, what the fuck?" Reina deadpanned as the other guys shrugged, running after Takemichi. The girls shared a glance before shrugging, following behind them. Reina, sighing, also picked up the pace behind the younger girls.
At some point, Mucho and Nahoya joined in the chase, claiming it looked 'fun' or whatever. Reina honestly didn't want to hear a self-proclaimed Gestapo (proclaimed by her not him) running behind a bunch of innocent civilians because it was fun, but she only rolled her eyes at the captain of the fifth division.
Maybe she should stop calling him a Gestapo. It would be disrespectful considering she never bothered studying more than the general information of the nazis. But after seeing Mucho's dead-to-the-world face, Reina decided she didn't give a fuck and would continue calling Mucho a Gestapo.
"Where's your twin?"
"Souya caught a cold."
"The vice-captain of the fifth division?"
"Sanzu said the festival is dumb."
Somehow, their reasons fit their personalities even if Reina didn't know them that well. She had to resist the urge to snark 'he's dumb' to Mucho and 'that's dumb' to Nahoya, knowing it would cause unnecessary conflict. She didn't need her New Years starting with a fight, thank you very much.
"Rei!" Everybody seemed to either still be worried about her whole kidnapping incident or just liked to hug her because Emma, upon noticing she was coming, perked up and engulfed her in a hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The kimono you sent me is so pretty! Please tell me the name of the store! I wanna go there too!"
Oh, so it was about the gifts she gave the girls, sans Hinata who got it from Takemichi because he's her boyfriend (she still sent Reina her thanks though). Reina promised to tell the blonde the name later, wondering whether she should just break it to her that those kimonos were limited edition trial products for Hokkyokusei's fashion brand. Well, if the girl liked it so much, then it must be directed to succeed.
As it appeared, getting away from Hokkyokusei was a lot harder than she thought. But that was fine. She had dedicated a majority of her life to it, so it was only natural she reaped the benefits she had sowed. As long as she wasn't getting dragged back into their mess, she would enjoy the luxury and successes Hokkyokusei brought.
Suddenly, the crowd began to cheer, someone shouting a reminder that it was just ten seconds away from the new year.
"Let's jump together, guys!"
Fireworks exploded in the sky as people screamed a countdown from ten. Reina felt her ears ringing louder than ever and she unconsciously took a step back. The bang of another firework sent unpleasant vibrations through her chest and Reina gasped, feeling like the breath had been taken from her just by some noise. Gritting her teeth, she realized forcing herself to be brave and not bringing earmuffs were the worst things she could've done.
Reina couldn't do it. Plugging her fingers into her ears, she ducked and wished the fireworks would stop making her ears vibrate on top of the always present ringing. Everything was becoming too much, and they weren't even halfway through the countdown.
Warm and large hands suddenly covered hers, doing little to help her block out the noise but doing wonders in keeping her grounded. Glancing to the side, she found Baji grinning as he nodded to the sky. "Look up, Rei."
"It's a blur of colors," Reina admitted with a sigh. After all, this wasn't her first fireworks display, though this was the first one she did in public. Fireworks were usually seen under her blanket on her bedroom floor. "I can't see the shape. The colors blur together."
It wasn't as beautiful as she had thought. She thought the view would change now that she was looking at it from close, but it remained as it was when she viewed them in the safety of her room. She wondered if the noise had something to do with it, though that wouldn't make sense.
"Then, look at the colors," Baji retorted, voice growing louder to accommodate the countdown that had reached three. "You don't have to jump. Just ignore the noise and look at the colors."
Following his advice, Reina let herself stay rooted on the ground even as the others jumped and shouted, "Happy New Year!" In sync. The fireworks continued even after the changing year and Reina felt Baji dropping his hand, realizing he also didn't jump for her sake.
"How'd you know?"
"Met lotta cats who'd run away if there's a firework show. Did some research and found out why. Thought you, of all people, would be scared too."
"I wasn't scared," Reina denied. "And didja just compare me to a cat?"
"It'd be an insult to the cats."
Snorting, Reina couldn't stop herself from giggling, the conversation distracting her from the popping sounds of fireworks. Looking back up to the colorful yet cramped sky, she smiled. "Thanks, Baji."
"Kei."
"Thank you, K-K-K-Kei."
One day, she would call Baji by his nickname without cringing.
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On the deck of a cruise ship, the redhead leaned against the railing, swirling a cup of champagne. Fireworks exploded above him, yet he paid the pops no mind, downing the alcohol in one gulp. It wasn't healthy and Akise would scold him if he saw, but he really didn't give a fuck.
"Tone down the alcohol, Harui." Speak of the devil and he shall appear, though Harui wondered who exactly the devil was here. "If you get drunk and fall off, I dunno how I'd explain it to Rei Rei."
"You can skip the formalities, Akise."
Sighing, Akise took the empty glass and placed it on the tray of a passing worker. "Rei Rei met Kusariyama Mori, and it must've been horrible because she ended up getting kidnapped by a bunch of teenagers." Akise knew Harui knew that. After all, the three of them, Anggita being the third, suspected it was another one of Shiki's men's doing, not a bunch of delinquents. "Fortunately, she managed to escape and—"
"So?"
Akise felt his eye twitch at the sight of Harui's calm smile. "Rei Rei decided to lead a biker gang." He knew Harui knew. Even if Harui didn't know, Akise doubted he would show much of a reaction in an open space like this. "It's Black Dragon, the gang that was responsible for her kidnapping."
Harui really wished he had more alcohol as he dragged his hand through his hair with a sigh, all without losing his smile. "I take it she's trying to leave for good now?"
"She hasn't mentioned it." It probably wouldn't be long until she did though, and Akise would be lying if he said he wasn't waiting for it. "But isn't this what you wanted?"
"Akise, you're hers," stated the redhead while crossing his arms. "You and Anggita are Hokkyokusei's pillars and you two are loyal to her, not me. Wherever she goes, you'll follow. Even if you follow me, that's only because she ordered you to." Harui wasn't blind or clueless. he was in Hokkyokusei's mess as much as Reina was. He had grown and dedicated his life to Hokkyokusei as much as Reina had. "Yes, I want her to leave, but I can't help but think what a huge loss it'll be when she does."
"That is on you," Akise stated without a hint of remorse. "You've always been a pacifist, hiding behind your little sister's back and being dependent on her." There were some circumstances that forced that situation, but it was nevertheless a harsh fact Harui had to accept."I think it's about time you become a real king and not just some doll placed on a decorated throne."
Scoffing, Harui leaned back against the railing. "He told her to be a weapon," he muttered. "He said she's not supposed to be just strong. She's supposed to be deadly. What use is she if she's just a slab or muscle with no brain? What use is she if she fights without knowing a single thing?"
Akise showed no reaction even as he said that, not even when Harui turned to look at him. "Father said that to her while whipping her back," he told the surgeon. "But Father didn't know a single thing about his own weapon, and she must've taken it to heart because looking at her now, who would've thought she's anything but deadly?" Everybody called her a monster, and it wasn't simply due to her fighting skills. "Brains, brute strength, influence, money, people...she has and can manipulate everything. The most dangerous person here isn't Father or Victoire or me...it's a fourteen-year-old girl who knows too much about being an adult and no damn clue on how to be a kid."
"She's been acting more like a kid since meeting those delinquents though."
"Investment, my ass." Scoffed the eldest Hokusei, tilting his head to look at the glowing sky. "But this is good, isn't it? Father's men are all gone, so I'm done playing pretend with Kisaki, and she finally decided it's time to stop being Hokkyokusei's shadow."
"Lying and smiling will only get you so far, Harui." Despite being a pacifist, Akise couldn't bring himself to hate Harui. The man may have never stepped in to protect Reina with his body the same way Reina had, but that didn't mean he never tried. "Rei Rei will never hate you. You two share too many wounds to hate each other, and she is, in her own way, a good actress. But she's a bitter person."
"I know." Harui snorted, chuckling to himself. "There has never been a moment when I didn't know her bitterness towards life and me. After all, that's one of the reasons why we fought back then." The ocean beneath him was visible due to the sparks in the sky, and Harui smiled at how rocky the waves were. "She has changed, hasn't she? I'm curious to know how far she'll go this time...and how differently she'll react to me from now on."
"She won't hate you," Akise repeated with a click of his tongue, growing frustrated at these emotionally constipated siblings. "She knows what it's like to do anything to survive. You chose yours and she chose hers, and she understands. She'll use it against you in the heat of an argument because she's bitter, but she'll never hate you."
Maybe that was worse, hearing a past mistake getting brought back up in the heat of an argument was a low blow. Both Harui and Reina knew it. That was why they never tried to bring the things in that house back up. But emotions sometimes got the better of them, and mistakes happened again.
"What will you do?" Harui wondered what Akise would do if Reina did quit. Reina spent a huge amount of money to get Akise back on his feet and keep his children supported, but Harui also knew that Akise could pay that money and its interest back the way he was now. However, he doubted Akise would quit considering how loyal he was to his sister.
It was the instincts of a father, he supposed.
"I'm not at the age of retirement yet," answered the surgeon. It was an ambiguous answer since Akise could retire whenever he wanted. He was rich enough for that. "I'll see what Rei Rei wants me to do."
"I never bothered asking for details, but why exactly did you follow her?" Harui doubted it was for money, even if that was the initial reason. Reina may have thought that money was the most powerful thing in the world, but undying loyalty wouldn't come from money alone. There must be another reason why Akise remained by Reina's side even after seeing her worst. "Is it because she's the grandmaster?"
Akise snickered. "There are many reasons why I stayed, but aren't you curious too?" He asked, lips turning up in a smirk. "Adults have too much on their minds, but children don't. If you have a child as a puppet master, there's no stopping them even if the stage is on fire and their hands get burnt."
"You like her for her lack of self-preservation?"
"If only she'll stop at getting hurt, don't you think?" Akise moved to stand beside Harui, keeping his eyes on the endless darkness of the ocean. "I've seen how she failed and adapted to the situation to gain something more than what she originally wanted, and that was while she was your shadow. Now that Rei Rei has freed herself, it's thrilling." He grinned at the crashing waves. "I'm curious to see just what she'll achieve this time."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"She's a child, Harui," chided the man as if Harui had just asked him something dumb. "There are limits to what she knows and can do. But if those limits are removed, she can become the most powerful person there is. I don't want a title as her family member, not anymore. I want my name to be known as her advisor, an accomplice to her success. I want her power too."
The wind suddenly picked up, tousling their hair as if mocking Akise to stop being greedy. But that's what Reina liked about him; him and Anggita. Overly ambitious people who wanted more even if they already had the world, she liked people like that.
After all, birds of a feather flocked together.
Chuckling to himself, Harui took two glasses of champagne from a passing worker, handing Akise one as he raised his glass. "Happy New Year to a new start!"
The alcohol tasted sweeter than ever.
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