O
Besides Cecia being abnormally weird on the bus, I could say my evening was going a whole lot better than it had been going when I was at school. I had plans of hanging out with Zeymira, even if Cecia ultimately didn't end up showing for the second time in a row.
I was dropping my bag off at the crib, locking the apartment door behind myself when my father cleared his throat. He was somewhat of a busy man, he had a dental office in Lazuli Heights, tall, we shared some of the same features. But today he seemed faded...or withered. Like I had caught a glimpse of what he should be when he was much, much older.
Is this because of me?
"Hey, Dad," I awkwardly waved.
He sat on the couch, posture relaxed.
Right, the whole fight today. Mr. Hurre probably told my father about it anyways, even if I didn't end up in any trouble in the end. "I already know what you're gonna say- But the other girl got suspended. I'm fine," I added, still seeing the same pinched expression on his face.
I let my backpack fall gently at my feet by the front door, casually crossing my arms and approaching my father, since he still hadn't said anything back yet.
"Am I doin' it wrong, Ora?" he asked me, a weak sense of helplessness in his voice. "Did I fail you?"
His eyes were closed now.
"No. Of course not," I shook my head, frowning.
"So why...why...why? Why do you go down to that school and raise hell? Like your mother and I didn't raise you with our sweat and blood, Orabella?"
"The other girl was pickin' it with me," I defended myself, "She threw a whole lunch tray at me. You can watch the cameras. I wasn't at fault!"
"Don't raise your voice," he declared, standing up, his fist heavy and steady against the table.
Where I faltered, my father was secured.
"I give up a lot for you, and I don't complain, because that's my job as your daddy. But I will complain about your actions. Your behavior. And your temperament, Ora," he stated. "You're not going anywhere for the rest of this week. And if you do, that'll be another week of doing nothing for you, young lady."
"You say you and mom raised me, but I don't see her here. She wouldn't have wanted the tension between us two," I argued. "That's been goin' on for these past few years."
"You cause it. With everything you do and I'm tired Ora, but damn do I try to be there for you. What possibly could you have said to that girl to make her throw a lunch tray at you? Food that could be goin' to some poor kid waitin' for their next meal? Food that all us grown folk pay for with our taxes."
I started walking for my room but he called out my name sharply. "I'm not done talking to you!"
"I get you're disappointed," I said, turning around, "Trust me. If there's one thing I know about you is that you're disappointed in me." His face softened, "I don't hate you. I just want what's best for you Ora, and you gotta help me out. I don't want you runnin' round this town and runnin' round this school gettin' into mess that you might not be able to get out of the next time."
His gaze held mine.
"You think I'm gonna snap again and kill somebody else. Is that...what it is?" I asked slowly, tears spilling down my face.
"I'd be a bad father to not worry about that," he told me softly. He slowly walked towards me, "But I've been bad enough before. You know our history and how it's been. I'm tryna play Mommy and Daddy, and I'm doing my absolute best for you, sweetheart."
"Maybe she died for a reason. Because I didn't deserve someone like her," I whispered.
"That cancer wasn't there because of you Ora, and who knows if it was even there because of her. You can't let your mother's death weigh on your heart like this. It's what-
"Made me kill Claria?" I asked numbly, staring at him.
He flinched, like the words had slapped him across the face. "What sent you over the edge..."
"I was going out tonight, to get snow cones, but it's not even hot enough right now to want them and I'll stay inside like you want-
"Go ahead, Ora. Have your fun," he told me, "Just don't get into anything...please."
I turned away, going to my bedroom with muted emotions. I got out of my school clothes, freshened myself up, and decided to put on something a little nice. Jeans, a cotton t-shirt with a soft, fuzzy flannel over it and my Timbs. I left my hair as it was, spraying my locs before shaking them. I charged my phone a little while, feeling a little numb from my interaction with my dad as I waited for Zeymira to update me on when we'd be heading to the snow cone place.
It was a little truck off the side of one of Lazuli Heights' many main roads. The way Zeymira had described it, I probably passed it all the time, but I didn't know where it was off the top of my head. Then, Cecia still hadn't given anybody some sort of confirmation that she'd be showin' up. She hadn't even text me at all, and it was about an hour and a little more since we had got off the bus where we had talked.
After all that, I went back to the front door and scooped up my bag, starting on some homework in my bedroom while I still waited for somebody to respond. I was halfway through some PreCal work and considering taking my outfit off, when my phone vibrated.
"Hey Zeymira. What's up?" I answered.
"You ready? My dad said he could pick you up and take us to the snow cone truck," she told me.
"Yeah. Let me put my work up. Girl, I had started on my shit and everything," I laughed, "I'm comin' down right now. You need the address of the place?"
"Nahh, I know where the apartments at. Is Cecia still comin'? I know she lives in my neighborhood, and we could pick her up on the way, soo..."
"I don't know. She hasn't said nothing," I sighed.
"Maybe she's ditchin' us again. I guess it'll just be me and you then, huh?"
"Yup." I made sure Zeymira knew where I stayed at, then I got ready to leave and wait outside. By the time she got there, I was just walking up towards where the buses usually got me in the morning and dropped me off in the evening.
When Zeymira and her dad pulled up, I saw a familiar face riding in the backseat, and didn't know whether to smile or not. I greeted Zeymira's dad and gave his daughter a shy wave as I got inside the white Rogue.
"Hey Cecia," I said lowly as Mr. Daniels turned up the radio to 102.1.
"Hey," she said back awkwardly.
"I didn't mean to push you away back on the bus," I started, "I'm thankful that you wanna protect me and stuff, but I don't need that, okay? I hope that whole convo and allat didn't leave us in a bad spot though...?"
"No," she shook her head, "No. It didn't."
"So liven up then," I nudged her, "You don't look like you wanna be here right now," I whispered, looking at her. "If you don't wanna be, then..."
"Just a lot goin' on. Inside," she admitted. "Don't worry about it-
"Tell me," I told her.
"I'm good," she pressed her lips together, "Do you know what flavor you want?"
"What?" I blinked, staring at her.
"For the snow cones. What flavor," she repeated softly.
I sighed, shaking my head. So she just wanted to change the subject like that? When something was obviously bothering her about the whole protecting me thing. Honestly, I wasn't sure if Cecia had more to tell me. What it seemed like was that she felt something more for me than she was letting on. But some part of me refused to accept that.
"Probably mango and watermelon," I answered after awhile, my voice at a normal level now.
"Good choice," Zeymira turned around and smiled.
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