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"And I don't want your pity, I just want somebody near me. Guess I'm a coward, I just want to feel alright."
- Nobody, Mitski
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•°. *࿐
Dahliä asked her brother and Tsireya to take her to her parents pod in hopes of seeing her whole family. She missed them, she wanted to see them.
On their journey there, they passed through the village, the stares did something to her. Originally, Dahliä would've felt annoyed, angry, pissed and for sure, would've said something to them. But now? What was she suppose to do? Say? Nothing.
She couldn't blame them for looking at her.
The girl once known as the feral and vicious compulsive forest girl that caused nothing but trouble, needed two people to help her walk.
With her hair damaged and flowing down her back, covering up her sadden and weak stare in her eyes, with the clear visible wound in sight.
Any of these people could kill her right now if they really wanted to, and couldn't she fight back? No. She couldn't.
When they arrived at the Sully Pod, it was only Tuk and Ney'tiri that were there. Dahliä's eyes wondered around looking for Neteyam, Kiri and her father.
Where were they?
Her younger sister sat in the corner, playing with a wooden toy, it had red paint on it for eyes and a wide cute smile. Dried seaweed for hair, and made up small clothes. She noticed this first, she thought it was cute, she had never seen Tuk with a toy like that before, where did she get it from?
Ney'tiri sat near Tuk, cutting up fruit she gathered yesterday for her youngling. "Hey mom," Lo'ak began, softly knocking on the entrance. "Guess who's here to say hello."
The mothers eyes completely filled with life once she saw her eldest walking with support, she quickly dropped her knife and ran towards the three teens, taking Tsireya's side and holding Dahliä instead. "Dahliä," Ney'tiri took a sigh and leaned her forehead against Dahliä's as Lo'ak helped her sit down. "My sweet daughter."
"She wanted to see you." Tsireya smiled, Lo'ak nodded as he slowly put his arm around her, the two watching his older sister and his mother cuddle without hurting Dahliä.
"Dahliä! Dahliä!" Tuk yelled out, holding her toy and running towards them. The Na'vi didn't take her older sisters injury into account, and jumped straight in her arms. The other three's eyes widened, watching Tuk jump on Dahliä. "Tuk!" They all yelled out.
"Huh?" She confusedly asked, the small Na'vi looked up towards her older sister who slightly whined at the sharp pain. "Dahliä! I'm sorry!" She began crying, Dahliä sighed and tried flashing a comforting smile. "Don't worry, I'm ok."
"Tuk," Ney'tiri picks up her youngest and passes her to Lo'ak, who holds Tuk in his arms. Her voice with slight annoyance at hee youngest. "You have to be careful, Dahliä doesn't feel strong yet."
She doesn't feel strong at all, to Dahliä, there isn't even a possibility that she'll ever feel normal again.
Her memory is foggy, she's confused.
That night when she was stab-
That night, she was stabb-
She was st-
Stabb-
Death.
?
The mother sits next to her and takes her hand before kissing it, "How did you sleep?" Dahliä blinked looking next to her, she tried to do a small forced smile but it didn't work.
How did she sleep?
The horrible silence between her and Malìk kept her up all night, she only got a few hours of sleep.
"Fine." Dahliä lied to her mother, it seemed to be enough to convince her as Ney'tiri sighed out of relief. "Good. Not having enough sleep can cause problems, Dahliä. Get as much sleep as you can, ok?"
She nodded at her mothers words, "Ok."
"Have you eaten?" Dahliä didn't answer, Ney'tiri turns to the teens. "Has she eaten?"
"I-."
"Dahliä has to eat, she needs to gain her strength. I have something you can eat, it is small but it's something." As Ney'tiri gets up to grab whatever saved up food she had, Dahliä tries to pull her back, it didn't work. She wasn't strong enough and it just caused her to fall back, unstable in her position.
Their eyes widen, Tsireya manages to get there quick enough before Dahliä falls to the ground. "Dahliä! Are you ok?"
"I'm fine- I can grab it."
"No, you stay. Ney'tiri will grab it for you."
It was this strange bumbling sense inside of her stomach that Dahliä couldn't quite understand.
Her eyes glanced around the room.
Lo'ak hold onto Tuk, both having this strange look on their eyes. Tsireya biting her lip, staying seated on the ground next to Dahliä in case she fell back again. Ney'tiri causing a mess as she panicked, looking for the leftover food before a small smile appeared on her face.
She hurried to Dahliä and gave it to her, "Here. It'll make you feel better."
"But I feel fine, mother," She hands it back to Ney'tiri, who refuses to take it before taking a small bite to make her mother feel better, Dahliä attempts to shove it in her hands. "Truly, I'm not hungry."
"But are you-."
"Yes," She gulps. "I'm sure but thank you."
Eventually the conversation passed by, all of them circling around her as if she'd just drop dead that moment and they'd need to catch her.
She didn't like how people were treating her.
Not one bit, she wasn't helpless. She wasn't- she didn't know anymore. But this, this was definitely pity that they felt.
She didn't need people's pity, Dahliä never needed pity.
The girl just sort of sat there, trying to work out what was happening around her but she still had no idea. What were they even talking about? Lost in her thoughts, Jake enters the pod, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
His eyes slightly widen seeing her, but he eventually smiles and asks to go on a walk with his daughter.
•°. *࿐
"I can tell you feel out of place." Jake suddenly brings up, he's taking small steps as Dahliä tries her best to move. He knew too well she'd complain if he attempted to help her walk. "Oh, really? Must be the fact that I've been gone for months and that I died."
"Dahliä." He didn't like getting annoyed with her, but why was he annoyed? She was right, he maybe just didn't like how she worded it. "I am- I-."
She stuttered over her words. Again. She doesn't do that, why is she doing that so much? What's wrong with her? Can't she do anything right anymore? "I was also in a coma."
"What?" She stops looking at her father, he crossed his arms. "I know how you're feeling, Dahliä."
He was in a coma too? In his old life? Jake would tell his children the story of how he met their mother over and over again, they would never get tired of hearing it, however, they knew very little about before that. Nothing more than he was in what they call 'military'. "In the military. I was shot, 2 weeks in a coma."
He saw her face drop even more, fuck.
Jake couldn't help but feel horrible, he thought maybe sharing that with her would make her feel less alone. Did he make it worse?
"How did you feel after?"
"Um..." He began thinking, he couldn't think of anything. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I don't remember, Dahliä."
They began walking in silence, her eyes glancing towards the shore. A girl clearly younger than her playing with a group of kids, they smiled and laughed splashing water at each other. Jake noticed, "You want to go for a swim? I don't know if that's the best idea yet-."
"No. I don't. I don't know where you got that from." She turned cold, trying to walk faster but she couldn't, Jake hurried after her trying to hold his daughter. "I can walk by myself!"
"Dahliä!"
"I want to see Neteyam and Kiri." Jake sighed, pinching his wide nose bridge. "I don't know where your brother and sister are."
"Then take me back to... take me back to- to-." She paused biting her lip, clear frustration painted on her face. The father got closer to her, pulling his daughter in for a hug. "It's ok not to know how you're feeling, Dahliä."
"I don't like not knowing. I like knowing."
"I know."
"Papa, can you please take me back home."
He pulled out of the hug, "Of course, we'll make a be-."
"To Malìk." Jake gulped before quietly nodding in agreement. "Yeah, of course."
•°. *࿐
Jake made sure he saw Dahliä enter her pod before leaving, her eyes locked with Malìk's, who quickly hurried up and rushed to her side. "Why didn't Lo'ak and Tsireya take you here-?!"
"My father did. I walked with him."
"Oh," He helped her sit down on the floor, sitting directly in front of her. "Did you... enjoy it?"
"Maybe."
There was no doubt that things between them were awkward, weird, strange. How couldn't they be? He watched her die in his arms, and he was the last thing she ever saw before everything went dark.
He's still trying to glue whatever they had before, cute lovebirds who couldn't keep their hands off of each other, now just two lovers who share awkward silence not knowing what to say next.
She's still trying to figure out where she is, what's she's doing here, why, who she is. A strong girl confident in everything and anything she did, who isn't even sure if she's just a ghost.
An image or figure of a Dahliä that everyone once knew, loved or hated, that now is just a simple some lifeless Na'vi.
She hated it, he hated it.
And unfortunately, neither of them knew how to fix this.
"Are you hungry?" She nodded 'no', "You were fed?"
"Mother did." He slowly said 'ok', staring into her as she stared down at her hand, fidgeting.
"Are you thirsty? Tired? Bored? We can go for-."
"I just want to stay here with you. I wanted to see Neteyam and Kiri, but now I just want to be left alone." Malìk's ears flopped down. "Alone?" Dahliä nodded at his words, seeing he was upset she quickly spoke up. "Alone with you."
"Do you want to do something fun?"
"No, just here."
They went back to silence.
He couldn't help but notice her robot monotone, her eyes weren't shining as bright anymore, she was truly confused.
She couldn't help but notice his stare, his voice full of concern, he truly pitied her.
Out of everyone, the last person she wanted to pity her as Malìk. He saw her as his one, his other half. Now just staring at her like she's some lost animal who he took over and cared for, trying to keep his hope up whilst slightly losing it.
She didn't want that.
She didn't want his pity, or anybody's pity.
"Don't pity me." Dahliä blurs out, it caught Malìk off, his head titling to the side in confusion. "Pity you? You think I pity you?"
"Yes, I don't want you to also pity me."
"Dahliä, I could never pity you. I worry for you, I have always worried for you." She grunted, "Maybe I don't want you to worry. I can ta-." She cut herself off, Malìk hesitating and waiting for an answer. "I- I can take- ca- care..."
"What is it? Are you ok?"
She couldn't hold in her fustration, fuck, she was so frustrated. So mad, so sad, so weak, so annoyed. She couldn't decide what she was feeling but she was feeling so much.
Malìk's eyes widened as he noticed her eyes swelling up with tears, he took her hand. "Please don't. I know you should cry, and you deserve to but please don't. It pains me."
"I don't know what to do or think, Malìk. Im confused."
"I'm here, I'm right here."
•°. *࿐
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Authors note——!!
I'm so sorry for the long wait!! This chapter isn't as interesting, but it will get better eventually.
I hope you enjoyed!!
I love you! 💕