I am so sorry for the long wait. this chapter took me 22 days to construct, maybe because I am not yet a parent to explain the hurt nor a child abandoned to feel the pain.
But there I made it. The next chapters will be a hell lot of a roller coaster so stay tuned and please vote, follow, share and enjoy reading.
THANKS MUCH from my aching heart (haha)
Love lots,
HanLee07 <3 <3 <3
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CHAPTER TWENTY NINE : NINA
"To Love is to be vulnerable..."
"Are we just going to sit here?" I whispered the words because we've been quite likemute for an hour now. He still didn't make any sound, when I looked at him, he has this deep look in his eyes, a look I can't explain if it's longing or madness. His face is tranquil and holds no emotion, even his lips,
"Hon," I tap his hand that is resting on his lap,
"Don't." I flinch as he spoke the words, why is he so grumpy? I stare back to her, to the woman whom we are staring at for almost an hour now.
"Your issues will never be resolved if what you did in the last three months is to just stare at her!" I am seriously exasperated now, for the last two days that we've been talking about his mother I never thought he's not man enough to face the woman who delivered him to this world. I understand the pain and hatred he has because his mother abandoned him, but to just stalk your own mother and never got the chance to straighten up all that has been broken, I don't think he's man enough after all what's the sense of stalking her?
He sighed so heavily, I still got my eyes on Nina, but I am not mad at her, I wanted to talk to her so bad, to know her.
"Don't start with me about her again," but he still has his eyes on her,
"Then what's the sense of brining me here? I know that you are blessed with the stalking expertise but can you just man up!?" his fists are balled on his lap and I just don't care, he's being so coward,
"What about I go out there and talk to her and told her how lily-livered her son has become!" I didn't let him stop me because as I am pestering him I am unbuckling my seat belt as well.
He can cuss on me all he wants but never will I step back to his car, since the car is parked a block away from where Nina is selling her goods, I take my time to blend with the people at the market, she looks so happy attending to her customers who seemed to know her, I take cautious steps upon reaching her, she looks younger than I expect, a lovely lady I must admit.
I stood right at the other street, standing the same spot opposite her. They share the same smile, that bright smile I fell in love with, her eyes are dark and her hair as well, and she's a tall lady with a gracious stance.
"Hello Nina..." I whispered to the wind, as if the wind understands my motives, she looked on to me straight, I feel frozen when our eyes meet, her eyes are like his, having that deep look in it that drowns you but she just smile at me, and continue attending to her customers, well Vanna, live up to your stubbornness, after all this is what you wished for so long right?
I crossed the street towards her; she has this basket full of rice cakes, people are flooding her, making her happier in the process. I stood where the people are and observe them, people living in the simplest way and the process of give and take.
"Hi?" I croaked,
"Hey." She manages to say while she's busy attending to customers that doesn't seem to lessen, I stay rooted on where I stand, just admiring how she loves what she's doing, she looks the utmost example of a contented wife. Wife?To whom? Did she establish a new family?
"Hi." I said again, I really don't have any plans; I just want to talk to her. Finally she turned to me as the last customer just walked away happily with his purchased goods.
"Hey." She answered back again with a shy smile on her lips, I am starting to love this lady because of her smile.
"I-uhm, I am actually new here, so, yeah..." I playfully state,
"I see that, are you all right dear?" her eyes are searching mine in a manner I knew well, they share so many similarities, I averted gaze and pointed to the rice cakes,
"What are these?" the ways the colours of the rice cakes blend are surely appetizing,
"These are rice cakes flavoured with cashew nuts and jack fruit, try some, here." She carefully unwraps one of the cakes and held it close to my mouth, I take a small bite, the flavour of the food is very delicious, moaning in appreciation of the delicious delicacy I took another bite, Nina just smiled at me motherly, and suddenly a wave of nostalgia hit me, my parents...
I am helping Nina with packing the empty trays to her basket; I am waiting and calculating to say the proper words when I heard a screech from behind me, goose bumps encased me the moment I heard the door opened and shut close, my eyes are trained on Nina whose innocently packing the few remaining rice cakes,
"Time to go Vanna." His voice is ice cold, piercing through me from my back, no words formed in my tongue though I tried my best, I watch the horror in Nina's eyes when she turned to face me, I watch her tremble as she covers her mouth in shock, this is not the expression I am expecting to see, well, to be honest I never thought of that.
The busy crowds noise fill in the tension that's building around us, Nina's eyes are clouded and tears are starting to fall from her eyes, I feel Harold unable to move from a few steps behind me, I don't think I want to see how he looks now but I can't just stand in between them, slowly I step aside, giving both of them the way, how I wish one of them will step forward or run to embrace the other, keeping my head low, I waited, but there's no movement.
"A-archer..." Nina whispered shakily, I look up to Harold but the expression on his face was hard as stone, but why does his eyes red and watery? Harold being Harold, he just rolled his eyes and inhales his pride, and then he walks towards me and grabs my arm, hardly.
"I'm not coming with you!" I protest as I flinch from his grip,
"Stop this stupidity!" he hissed through gritted teeth, but I stand my ground, I slap his hand but he just tightened his grip,
"A-archer enough, stop harassing her." Nina's voice broke our heating circumference when she walks carefully towards us, I sense Harold step back and loosen hold of me,
"I don't know you, stranger!" he emphasized the 'stranger' and Nina's tears rolled freely, pain is covering her but she just looks at her son with that motherly affection,
"I know you are mad. You have the right to feel that, I understand." Nina's voice is shaky but gentle, I feel my cheeks heating up, and I know I am going to cry any moment here if Harold said something stupid again.
"But please, don't be like him...." I know for a fact what Nina is referring to, that self-centred, alpha-male father of Harold.
"Don't tell me what to do! You know nothing!" at that I push Harold hard, tears are streaming down my cheeks now, how can he be so disrespectful of his own mother?
"Go away! How could you be so disrespectful?" I said the words with disdain; he looked at me straight and then glares at his mother,
"Getting too intrusive I see Vanna. You just ignite the fire, fatally ignited the fire." He threatens me but I didn't even blink,
"I am so disappointed on you." I watch as pain and anger mixed in his expression, "Leave!" he walks harshly towards the car and he slammed the door once he got in and recklessly drive through the busy street, luckily no one got bulldozed. I feel Nina's hand holding mine,
"I'm sorry." She dried my tears and smiled weakly at me,
Nina and I walk in silence together. I still can't accept how nasty Harold has been to his own mother, he's such a wimp. A real bad case of a coward goose hiding in his tailored suit.
"How is he doing in life, Vanna?" Nina's voice is too soft, we are both seated under a waiting shed in front of a school, her eyes are lost far in the sea of flowers that is dancing with the wind,
"He's successful. He has made a fortune with his multimedia company." I answered,
"Is he kind? Caring? Compassionate?" the desperation in her voice is evident, I pity Nina for having this situation, and I stare away as well, inhaling the emotion that is threatening to pour,
"He is." Silence ruled over us again,
"I love your son, to be honest." I see her small smile,
"But I can't just let him hurt you, I have lost my parents in a tragedy, we both did, but to see him do this to you, it's unacceptable."
"He has the right to be mad at me, I should have fought for him when he took him away from me, but I've been too afraid..." the loss in her voice brings tears to me again, I closed my eyes and inhale the hurt.
"I'll talk to him. I'll do the best I can. I've been persuading him to talk to you but he's being too hard on himself. Every child loves their mother."
"But he is no more a child when I let him took away my son."
"I'll do my best Please don't give up on him."
"I never gave up on him. He's my son." I tap her hand that's resting on her lap, "I promise not to give up on him." Her smile is enough to convince me on pushing my argument with Harold.
"Are we waiting for someone?" I asked her because she just check her watch twice now,
"She should be out of school now." She??
"Who is she?" I asked getting perplexed, stressing the 'she'
"My daughter." What? With whom? How come? But she loves her son... Questions are flooding inside my head, but I think it will just be an addition to the load of revelation that popped up today. Her smile broaden anew, as if she didn't shed tears earlier,
"I know how much he loves her sister," My mind is still floating from her 'daughter' revelation, "I am hopeful he'll love her too." That breaks my heart, for a parent to hope for acceptance from her son, and to hope that he'll love his half sister the way he loved the deceased one.
I follow her stare to where she is looking at, a man is walking to our direction with a child laughing heartfelt and holding his hand.
The man who comforted me.
The man who enlightened me.
The man who holds close resemblance to the self centered man I fear.
I feel myself tremble as the sight closes to us, but I don't think this will be the noteworthy reunion that I am looking forward, Uncle Alfon.
"I have to go." I stood abruptly despite the trembling sensation that's encasing me, Nina looks at me worriedly but I really have to go as far away from them,
"Why so sudden?" she stands as well, I am doing my best to hide the nervousness and disbelief in me but she seemed to notice, she looks back to her approaching family,
"It's such a pleasure to meet you Nina. But I think this is not the right time to go deeper with each other," I hope Uncle Alfon didn't totally recognize me,
"The pleasures all mine dear, I never thought to see me him after all that happened, though there's no moment that he slipped away from my mind. "
"I see that, but I am still hoping for that day when he'll lower his pride and divulge his emotions towards you."
"I am happy he has you." I smiled at her shyly; well I just think that I earned her vote?
"I really have to go." I said calmly, she holds my hand and pull me to a hug. She feels so warm, tears fill my eye again, the nostalgia is hitting in, "Thank you." I hug her back and after a few more seconds I let go and started walking away.
Uncle Alfon and Nina?
Is that the reason why Harold is being too uptight? If ever it's true, I don't know how will I deal with it, I look at them far enough for them to notice, they look so happy and contented, a picture of a happy family. And the child is she really the fruit of their union? I know less of the truth for me to start to judge them, but I just really hope everything will fall into place before the worst comes.
I continue walking away with a heavy heart and loaded mind. I need to find you, Harold.
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Do yu think I should change Cara Delevigne to Barbara Palvin for the character of Monique Walters?
they look alike don't you think?
Wanna hear from you :)