I can hear the shovels as if they're in the same room. Most of the time, it's just the shoveling I hear, but sometimes I can hear the whispers and screams intervene. My insomnia came back when the Russians stepped foot in Birmingham.
At first, I couldn't sleep well for a couple of nights, but as the night transformed the days into weeks, I started to hear shovels again. Since then, I can even hear the small conversations we used to hold in fear of being heard by the enemy.
I haven't talked to Gia about this, and I'm not planning on doing it either. She's tired and clearly overworked, but her pride and character deny it. She takes so much on herself that I fear she's going to lose it all one day.
It's like every breath I take in when she's not around is just filled with fear of what might happen to her or Elijah. But you've got to learn how to dance with fear. I never thought I was going to become a man who's scared, but I have been scared from the moment she stepped foot in my life. My heart is fearful for the day this might all be taken away from me, leaving me stranded and unloved.
The rooster announces my decision to get out of bed. I had planned a meeting with both of our families, which I'm all but excited about. Polly has made it clear that she doesn't agree with the Changrettas being over, and from what I heard, they aren't eager for it either. Which is all understandable. How does one live in peace with the people they call the devil?
It's nine a.m. sharp, and both of our families are united at a big table. The table is separating them, like it's no man's land, and they're just waiting for the signal to attack each other. I gathered Polly, Arthur, Finn, and Ada. Gia gathered Antonio, Gino, Elisabetta, and Mario. Any decision made here will be announced to the rest of the family.
To my dismay, there is another person at my table. Darius. My fist balled up just by looking at him. Something about him infuriates me. Maybe it's the fact that he's sat on my place or that he hasn't truly explained to me why he's here. I observe his very being, from the way his hair sits to the smirk plastered on his lips. I twitch my brow when I look at where his smile is directed. My wife.
I'm usually pretty good at keeping my feelings in, sometimes even too good. But the following words slip out of my mouth when he asks how my day has been so far: "It would go better if you stopped looking at my wife." I can feel Gia looking up at me, ashamed of what I just said, but I don't care. Gia's better at having sympathy for other people and caring about how they feel.
She tries to start the meeting as if nothing has been said previously; perhaps that's what's needed for it to be a slightly normal family meeting. Her voice sounds like honey to my ears and gets my attention.
"Firstly, I want to thank you all for being here and being open-minded about this. Secondly, don't fuck this up. I know it's hard to even be in the same room as the people you have grown to loathe, but I know how every single one of you is. You have more in common than you think. Like having the same enemy, which should be enough."
Polly rolls her eyes and mumbles, "At least that devil doesn't live near me." Gia's uncle, Antonio, looks up at Polly and asks, "What are you calling us?" Polly leans back with an unamused smile on her lips and denies, "I didn't say anything." To which Gia's cousin, Gino, perks up," Yes, you did!" This family makes me absolutely crazy.
Ada tries to get Polly's attention while she crosses her arms: "Well, if you feel spoken to." I slam both of my hands on the wooden table and sigh, "This is exactly what shouldn't be happening." Polly stands up and, at her turn, also slams her hands on the table in front of us, making it tremble slightly. "I don't see how they're going to be able to help us fight against Luca when we're already fighting against them." I look at her and go to say something, but am cut short by Ada, "You acting like a total child isn't going to help either, Polly."
Polly shakes her head and sits back down. She still wants to be here because she doesn't leave the table, but her head is turned the other way so that she doesn't have to see me or any of the Changretta's.
I can hear Gia sigh, causing me to direct my eyes to her. She's rubbing her stomach with a troubled look on her face. I put my hand on hers and nod to see if she is doing okay. A small smile finds its way onto her lips, but I can see straight through her. I stand up straight and clear my throat.
"We Shelbys have lost a lot. There are two of our kin fighting for their lives right now. Don't we owe it to them to fight no matter what way we take?" Arthur moves slightly in his seat as if he wants to say something, but decides against it when multiple people give him their attention. "I believe the Peaky Blinders will be able to fight against them with the right kind of help by their sides."
Arthur crosses one leg over the other and asks, "Of course we can. We have fought against the rich, the Jews, and Russians. Why would we suddenly need help?" I answer, "Because we're talking about the New York and Sicilian mafia. They have been working on this for months and months on end. It took them two days after they stepped foot in Birmingham to make us all hide. We can't take them alone, and that's a fact we Shelbys need to understand. So, who's in?"
Arthur places his glass on the table and nods, "On behalf of my wife and our brother John." I nod back and look at Ada, skipping over my aunt. "I never had anything to do with this, but I guess I'm now as deep in this shit as you guys."
All eyes dart to Polly, who only looks back at me. "Come on, Polly, everybody is for this collaboration; you're the only one left." She takes her time but eventually gives a response: "On behalf of me and my son, truce."
A weight is lifted off my chest as if all of this is over, but the devil knows that the worst part hasn't come yet. Gia takes over: "Now that we're all on the same terms, we'll explain our ways of playing the game. When talking to my brother, he will drop the words 'an organization of a different dimension' on different occasions."
"Even though none of us are in contact with the organization anymore, I feel like it's the right choice of words to describe what goes on over there. When you're in a position of power like my brother is at this moment, you feel like you're a god drifting through a passage on earth. All this power gets to your head; eventually it will get you, but what happens in the meantime is of no importance, as it gives you the opportunity to stay longer on the golden throne."
Mario speaks up: "We grew up with the idea that we were the next kings or queens who would reign over all these different lands. We knew that we'd have to fight to expand our borders, and what or who we lost wasn't going to be as important as feeling the joy of seeing what we gained.
"But one important lesson each and every one of us, except Luca, has learned is to never bite off more than we can chew. For some reason, Luca does not see the importance of this. Which makes him even more dangerous and reckless than we'll ever be. Perhaps, together, we could change that."
After two hours of exchanging words, we came up with a plan. Perhaps Mario is right. Sometimes all we need is to go knock on the devil's door to see what he gives us. People, including me, tend not to want to ask for help, thinking we can fix it all by fighting against our hearts and minds. But sometimes all we need is a little bit of help from someone you wouldn't think about in the first place. An old friend.