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Jun pov
Me and Minghao share a room in the dorm for a long time now. It changed recently since he would always come into my room and cuddle anyways so we just decided to change rooms. We both decided that it would be better to just get a double bed to share instead of two separate beds.
Like any normal day we decided to go to sleep right after practice, which lasted about four hours.
next day
I woke up with shouting and yelling occurring from outside, startling me. Minghao who was right next to me also got startled and gave a me a confused look.
It is normal for all of us to fight because it is not easy to stay together when you are thirteen people however normally it would end quite quickly because Seungcheol hyung or Jeonghan hyung would resolve it. But weirdly you can tell this is different because this startling noise of something falling and being smashed was heard. This made me fully awake.
I faced Minghao and said to him " I will go and check what is happening, you can sleep more." I knew he was tired because of yesterdays practice. I got up from the bed and made contact with the cold floor and started walking to the door. When I opened the door I could tell how much noise was filtered out.
I quickly closed the door but I still noticed the upset look on Minghao' s face while he was gripping the bed covers putting it over his head attempting to filter out the noise and go back to sleep.
I noticed my hands starting to shake. I never liked conflict because all it those is pick out the bad memories that are buried deep into my brain. There is a part of me who just wanted to go back in the room, but I knew as part of one of the eldest I had to get over it and go.
When I got downstairs I paused directly next to the door of the kitchen to face Hoshi, Seungcheoland Jeonghan screaming at each other. Soon enough everyone was awake because the voices only started to get louder. In the middle was Jihoon trying to stop the fight being physical. We always try to resolve fights while sitting down but this time was different they were on each other throats. Everyone else was standing right next to me watching the commotion except Chan, Vernon and Minghao.
I shuffled a little closer knowing that everyone does not know what to do at all because the ones that normally fix a fight are now fighting. On the kitchen table there is broken glass and water splattered everywhere. The whole room was a complete mess.
Next to me was Wonwoo which has the same face expression as me but I asked " What the hell is happening, why are they fighting?"
"Someone broke the computer in the dance practice room which was brand you and there was all the new songs in, the manager called Seungcheol today and asked about and said that he has to pay for it and of course since Hoshi is the one that normally controls it, he started blaming it on him which lead to the others fighting as well. I paled slightly at his words. No matter how irresponsible Hoshi can be, he is very careful about this things, but what made me even more worried is that the last person who was in the practice room was actually me.
Knowing how mad they are I could never get myself to tell them. Because I can swear that I did not break it but all their anger will probably not let me explain at all. I know that I did not do it.
I faced Seungkwan who was right behind me. " Can you please do me a favour and go to your room?" I said with the best smile I could possibly make. He looked at me with a confused look but before he could say anything to go against me, I cut him off and said " Please just go everything will be fine" I could tell that he was very against it but he did not say anything and just went. The mess is going to be even more crazy but I cannot let them blame Hoshi for this, even though it is not my fault, to figure out what happened they need to know everything.
I took a deep breath in attempt to slow down my breaths and than screamed as loud as possibly as I could. Making them stop and stare at me while having anger in their eyes. Maybe not the best way to catch their attention but possibly the only one.
Seungcheol than said "What the hell are you doing?" His voice expressing the anger that was starting to build up more and more.
Knowing that everyone's attention is on me made my hands shake even more than before so I pressed them against each other behind my back and replied back "I.. I need to tell you something but I need you to listen and calm down before and understand what I am about to say"
As soon as I said that Wonwoo knew exactly what was this about and I could feel pity in his eyes as he stared at me in sympathy as he also saw my hands shaking behind my back.
Jeonghan quickly replied back "What is it" He normally was very calm but this time he was glaring at me up and down making me feel trapped.
"Uh... I was the last one yesterday in the practice room"
All the attention was all on me I could feel their eyes throwing bullets in me.
"I needed to practice more for the comeback so I went there, but I promise that I did not break the laptop, I did use it but it was perfectly fine when I left." I said really quickly because I knew that if I took longer they will kill me before I could say anything. I t was dead silent, no one moving and no one said anything until hell broke loose.
"YOU WENT THERE TO PRACTICE AND NOW SUDDENLY THE LAPTOP IS BROKEN" Seungcheol screamed. No one wanted to see him angry, and no one did see him this angry since debut. My whole body was shaking at tis point. I flinched back and tried to calm my shaking by clutching my hand but there was no use at all.
Great I knew that they would not believe me it feels like what I said went through one ear and out through another.
"Like I said before I didn't break it, I was in there for about an hour and than came back here, don't you think I would have told you if I broke it ?"
"Are you kidding me Jun, it was brad new, and everyone else came back so it must be you, stop lying and just confess"
Hoshi shouted at me, I could feel anger built up because we have been together for more than four years and they still don't believe what I say. But all the anger was covered by fear.
Will seventeen not be okay anymore after this point. Should I just say I did it?
But before I could even say anything Jeonghan hyung cut my thought and what I was about to say.
"Just go Jun don't make any of us any more angry than we already are."
My heart dropped completely.
The one person who always listens to everyone's part of story, did not bother to even consider that maybe it was not my fault. That was the moment I realized that there was no point of even trying to explain myself again or just admit to something I didn't do because there was no time left for me to speak at all.
Right than an there my eyes got watery and I hand gripped into mine. The hand was warm and made me flinch away but somehow managed to calm my shaking down.
"Come on Let's just go to our room" these sweet Chinese words managed to help me get myself together.
Minghao dragged me gently into our room, I could not even look back at them because of the fear that, that was the only look that they will give me for the rest of our lives.
At this moment it felt like the only thing that seemed to connect us was the ring .
He let go of the grip of my hand an pulled me straight to a warm hug which made me realize that I was already crying.
"Everything will be okay "
I choked out a sob and pushed myself closer to his body as much as I could. The only thing that was taking my mind of from everything and the only thing that could also keep my body somewhat from shaking.
"I know well that it was not you because I can tell immediately when you lie and I know that you would just confess yourself. There is a person that unfortunately did this and that person now is getting away with it by blaming you. The other's are more angry than usual because you know how important that laptop was, so their minds are clouded with anger."
A couple of second later he placed a tiny kiss on my forehead and I looked up to him knowing that there is only I few people that will believe now.
Wonwoo who was standing at the door came in and just hugged me. The comfort of the the only two people that seemed close to me was all I needed.
After that we just went to bed hoping that everything will get better. I did not even want dinner because there was no absolute point of putting more fuel on the fire.
"No need to worry, everything will be alright."
--------------
I wish those words were true but unfortunately they are not. It has been five days since the argument and no one did talk to me apart from Wonwoo and Minghao. The rest either did not want to see my face or just following what the others are doing.
It got to the point that there is no point of me sitting at the table because all I do is make everyone awkward, so Minghao would bring me part of his food to our room so that they can all talk normally.
But every single time that he brings me food, all I could think about is the guilt to the point that even if I tried to eat it, I would feel everything just come back up again and I throw it all up. To the point there is no point of me trying at all because it just hurts my throat which is not good for the comeback.
But slowly everything just seemed to get worse it has already been a week and the chain that I feel like I am wearing seems to get worse. The feeling of being ignored and the eyes that show hatred is just keeping me from doing anything right.
Minghao and Wonwoo keep on talking to me normally but I can tell that it is also bringing them down as everyone else stare at us while we talk. I suggested that they ignore me so that they are not dragged into this pain, but they would not listen to what I said at all.
Practice has got much worse because of the comeback being so close. Every move that I make seems to always seem sloppy, like I don't like to dance anymore. What is worse is that I am part of the performance team. How can I mess up on so many moves?
"JUN,start to actually concentrate because basically every move you make is sloppy and wrong" The performance team leader shouted at me while looking at me with his fierce eyes through the mirror. He slammed his two hands together and continued
"Did you not say that you were practicing here ate least make your dancing better and worth the money that we have to pay for the laptop to be fixed again."
That made my heart dropped. Is my dancing that bad
Was I always this bad but they never told me? Was my mother just lying to me when she told me I was an amazing dancer?
That was all it took for my eyes to get watery but I quickly used my sleeve to wipe the stupid tears, knowing that crying will only make this situation worse. I struggled to get my breathing from dancing so much but everything was so much worse because of the anxiety building up.
So many more hours of practice occurred because I could not get any move right. At that point I felt like my engine was just not working but before I could start practice again Hoshi shouted.
"Practice is over since there is no sigh of any improvement at all"
I knew deep down that it was aimed at me, but I was more focused on the pain that my body felt because there is no food that my body can turn into energy at all.
Right than the manager came in with his computer and suddenly bowed down at us. He told us to sit down right in front of his computer. I could tell everyone was confused and all the back up dancers apart from one left.
"What is happening? We have to go to a photoshoot soon." said Seungcheol hyung.
I forgot about that, I mean no one would think about a photoshoot being right after dance practice, because that is just completely stupid. but they could not move it so we just have to wash ourselves there and hope we look decent enough.
The manager looked at us all and than said "You do not have to pay for the laptop anymore so do not worry"
Than he got up and bowed down at us
"I am sorry that I went to a conclusion without actually looking at facts. I looked at the camera and it turns out to be a dancer that is suppose to perform for the next few days for the comeback. They did not know that it was attached to the charging cable and pulled it which made it fall. They decided to confess today, and I just want to say sorry. "
The anxiety built up for the past few days just dropped completely, knowing that I was more free now and that no one has to pay for the laptop.
I could feel the guilt that was escaping into the air, as they looked at me. I could tell that Minghao and Wonwoo felt happy for the truth to be out. I could feel all the pain go away and escape my body, making me relax completely. A smile escaped my face knowing that everything will get better.
The members eyes focused on the manager's laptop proving that it was in fact the back up dancer. The small screen containing all the truth.
To be honest I was not expecting any apology, because that would hurt their pride all I want is that they do not ignore me anymore.
Soon enough the manager left saying that we should hurry up so that we can go to the photoshoot. So I quickly got up and went to get myself but than suddenly I felt heavy weight on me making me nearly plant my face into the floor but they grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug.
There were apologies thrown at me from every member, that alone made my eyes water. The feeling that I was waiting for has finally came.
To be honest we are now all in a crying mess but not only that we are also late for the photoshoot.
We all quickly got into our seats and head to the photoshoot. The worse part of a comeback, is the photoshoots it can take little time or a very long time depending how many good angles you have. But for me it takes ages, I have many good angles but I somehow manage to mess up because of the fact that everyone is staring at me.
The camera was set and normally Jeonghan hyung starts because the photographer likes him the best. I mean I don't blame him at all.
After Jeonghan I guess it was me because it allows the others to take a shower and get ready as I normally take the most time anyways.
So I got myself up and went on the green screen and started to take a deep breath until Steve who was our photographer called my name and told me to do certain poses.
I did exactly what he told me until at one point he told me "Wow you have lost weight because now your jaw is so much sharper. You have even more good angles so we will use all of them. You look absolutely stunning"(I know his jaw can't get any sharper but you know just go with the flow)
That caught my attention but we carried on with the shoot.
Everything was going great, I wanted to say, but only if I could tell that my body was at it's limit. But before I could even realize that my body was giving up on me, I started falling forward, I tried to catch myself with my hands but it felt like my hands were chained together to my body. After that point all I could see was an endless black.
Minghao pov
The moment that Jun was proven innocent I felt myself relax and I looked towards Jun. He seemed happier, and his eyes had a sparkle in them like they always used to be lie. Everyone made their apologies and it felt like everything never happened at all. It felt amazing but we still need to work.
I went inside and started washing myself and than put the clothes that my stylist gave me. Jeonghan had already finished his part, so know there is twelve of us left. Jun was looking amazing , and soon enough everyone finished changing and were right next to me waiting for their turn as well. I noticed that Jun seemed a lot thinner and not in a good way but more of a scary way because he seemed to have changed so much but it only has been five days.
The same thought was replaying over my head, what if he is sick?
I brushed it off since he was still smiling , but sometimes people should never brush of things.
Jun's eyes suddenly shut down completely and he fell forward which made everyone stand up and head towards Jun as fast as they could. I ran towards him hoping he was okay but I knew I would not be much of help but be a pillow to Jun. The paramedics soon arrived and started checking on him.
Normally it would not be worrying if someone faints because Seungcheol and Jihoon have suddenly fainted before and we all know exactly what to do, but the reason for it was because of overheating or overworking in practice but never in a photoshoot and nothing that we did seemed to work at all.
There were two paramedics that came in and checked his vitals it was all fine but they decided to check his blood. So they took this tool that makes a tiny whole in the skin and red the blood that was coming out. Looking at their face it does not seem anything good.
They than suddenly shouted "CALL AN AMBULENCE"
That is when my heart dropped.