Isabel's eyes were closed as she tried to distance herself from what was happening. The devil had given up looking for the little demon and had been "missing her"- his words, not hers. So, the first chance he got, he unwrapped her from the chains, threw her to the ground, and forced himself on her. She was trying to distance herself from that act, trying to pretend like it wasn't happening. She felt the rocking in her bones intensify, and before she knew what was happening, she was drawn to another place. She was far away from her reality, in a white-washed world.
"Hello?" Isabel called out, knowing the lake had brought her there for a reason.
"I'm curious about something," the lake answered, and Isabel hung her head. She respected the lake, and she wondered if it respected her, or only saw her as a means to an end.
"What is it?"
"Why did he bring you down here? What is it about you that caught his attention? What happened in the Overworld?" the lake asked her, and Isabel swallowed. She didn't want to talk about that. She had never told anyone about that. Not even her closest friends knew about that night. But she knew she had to tell the lake. She had to divulge all to the lake or it might decide to not help her. With that thought in mind, she lifted her head, steeled her face, and with tears running down her face, began to talk.
******************
Reid slammed the notebook shut for the fifth time that night. It had been months, and he still hadn't cracked the code. How could it be so frustratingly hard to find? The notebook clearly stated that the code to the safe was somewhere in those lyrics. But if it was in there, Reid couldn't find it. He'd been searching in vain since September, and as December was drawing to a close, Reid wasn't sure he could handle going into the new year without any sort of answer.
Maybe he could ask Teresa for her help. Her birthday was in a few days, and while the BAU was hosting a Christmas celebration, he at least wanted to stop by. He wanted to at least wish her a happy birthday and drop off the presents he'd gotten for both her and Ria. Akilah had gone looking for gifts with him, and they'd found some good things. Reid had gotten two gifts for Teresa- one for her birthday and one for Christmas. A set of natural and fragrance-free hand sanitizers and a set of exotic coffee samplers. For Ria, Akilah had helped him pick out a stuffed Mickey Mouse doll.
But Reid didn't want to upset Teresa like that on her birthday. If he brought up the black notebook, it would be because he'd cracked the code and gotten into the safe and found if the red notebook was actually in there. As soon as he got into the safe and found out what it hid, he'd bring the information to both Teresa and the rest of the team. But for now, he had to work on finding the code inside the black notebook.
He opened the notebook and took another look inside it. Taking a deep breath, he remembered what Teresa said. Ciara made her codes so that they'd be easy for those that knew her and difficult for those that didn't. So maybe that was his problem. He was looking for something difficult. He was looking way too hard when perhaps the answer was right in plain sight. Maybe if he just took a step back and looked at it from another angle, a simpler angle, he'd find what he was looking for.
He tried looking at the lyrics at a surface level instead of the deep search he'd been doing. Maybe something on the surface would reveal itself. But when that didn't work, he realized there was something he hadn't been looking at. He looked at the inside cover of the notebook to see that every song used was written down in the order they were used. It was the fourth song that caught his attention.
"20 dollar nose bleed" by fall out boy
Reid had to wonder. Were there any more songs she'd used with numbers in them? He looked through the list and found three other songs.
"45" by shinedown
"seven minutes in heaven (atavan halen)" by fall out boy
"21 guns" by green day
Wait a second. The second Fall Out Boy song she'd used- she'd written the number in the title in word form and not in standard form. Was there a reason she'd done that? Or was that simply the official song title? Reid looked at it for a second, biting his lip, thinking. If the official song title had the number in standard form, he might be on to something. If it was in word form, then he might not have anything. He knew that only one person could help him, and she was just a phone call away.
"Yeah, Reid? What's up?" Akilah asked as soon as she picked up.
"I think I might have something, but I need you to do something for me," he told her, and on the other end of the line, some sort of background noise shut off. "What was that?"
"Oh, I was watching TV. Nothing important," she answered.
"Oh. What show?"
"It's called Supernatural. It's amazing, although I'm not sure the fantasy elements would appeal to you. I see you as the type of guy who struggles with suspension of disbelief."
"Suspension of what?" he asked, and Akilah laughed.
"You really should have taken more notes from Ciara's writing rambles. Suspension of disbelief. It's when someone temporarily ignores critical thinking and abandons the notion that something is unreal or impossible in order to enjoy a story," Akilah answered.
"But that makes no sense-"
"And that's exactly why you wouldn't be a fan of fantasy or supernatural stories. Yes, the elements aren't real, and you know that. But for the time being you forget about that and just enjoy the story. That's how you and Ciara are different. Yes, you're both geniuses, but she's a different type of genius," Akilah rambled.
"What do you mean, a different type?" he asked.
"You're geniuses in different things. You, you're a genius in math and science. You know, the STEM areas. Now, Ciara, she's excellent in the STEM fields, that's for sure. But her true genius? That's in a different area. She's a genius in art and language and music. The fine arts- that's where her genius shows," Akilah answered.
"I think I'm good at languages."
"Oh, you know almost as many languages as her, that's for sure. But do you really know them? Do you understand them? The little idiosyncrasies? The emotional meaning of different words? The cultural importance or the slang? That's what puts Ciara ahead of you in the field of language," Akilah responded, before sighing. "So, what is it you need me to do?"
"Oh, right. I need you to look at a song for me. I'm sure it's on one of her CDs. It's Fall Out Boy," he told her, and she hummed in thought.
"Certainly. What song?"
"The parentheses say 'Atavan Halen'. It's the first part-"
"Oh, yeah, I know that song! It's on From Under The Cork Tree. Give me one second to get to her CD collection," Akilah drifted off, and Reid could hear from the background that she was moving in between rooms. Another second in and he heard the clacking of CD cases. "Yep, I found it. What's the question?"
"On the CD, is the number seven written out in word form or standard form?" he asked, and Akilah paused for a moment.
"Does that mean spelled out or an actual number?" Akilah asked, and Reid told her that she was correct. "Okay, it's an actual number. What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'll call you back," Reid said before hanging up quickly. He looked back at the inside cover. Why had she spelled out the number when the official song title had it in standard form? What was she trying to convey? He looked at the list of songs again and realized that the song "20 Dollar Nose Bleed" had been repeated twice. Another look, and he noticed that the song "45" had been repeated thrice. No other song had been used more than once. And that was when it hit him.
21-20-20-45-45-45. 21-20-45.
Incredibly complex and exceedingly simple.
Teresa had been right on the money. Reid had been looking too hard, and that was why he couldn't see the answer that was right in front of him. He'd looked for something deep when the answer was actually hiding in plain sight. And now he had the code to the safe. It was time to find out what was in it. It was time to find out what Ciara had gone to such great lengths to hide. He called Akilah again, just quickly enough to tell her that he'd been the one to find something and that he'd be over as soon as possible.
It took him less time than he cared to admit to get to Akilah's apartment. He'd driven a bit above the speed limit, driving more carelessly than he'd ever driven. But he didn't care about that. He just wanted to get to his destination and get inside of that safe. When he finally got to the apartment, Akilah was already waiting for him, ready to see what he'd found. Reid barely greeted her before he rushed to Ciara's room, crouching by the bed and looking for the safe.
"Reid, will you please tell me what this is about?" Akilah asked just as he found the safe and pulled it out. "The safe? What about the... You found the combination."
"I think so. I'll have to enter it to know for sure," Reid answered, and Akilah's eyes went wide. He looked down at the safe, the one that held evidence they desperately needed. Taking a deep breath, he turned the dial, entering each number he'd found. And then, the sound he'd been wanting to hear for so long. A click as the safe finally opened.
There was a sudden intake of breath from Akilah as the door to the safe opened ever so slightly. Reid took a deep breath before opening the safe the rest of the way. He closed his eyes, before reaching his hand inside, feeling for whatever was in there. It was only a moment before his fingers landed on something that felt suspiciously like a notebook. He opened his eyes as he pulled it out, and sure enough, in his hands was the red notebook that had haunted them for so long.
Akilah gasped as he showed it to her, her eyes going wide. He asked her what the matter was, but she didn't speak. She only suggested that they go into the kitchen to read what it said, a suggestion that Reid agreed with. The short walk to the kitchen was solemn, and when they got there, Reid set the notebook down on the table as he sat down. Akilah just stared at the notebook for a moment, face hard, before she finally spoke.
"I recognize that notebook," she whispered, and he raised an eyebrow.
"You do? You've seen it before?" he asked, and Akilah sort of shrugged.
"I only saw it once. It was when we first moved here to D.C. She nearly broke down because she couldn't find it, but she also didn't want me to help her look. Eventually she was so desperate to find it that she gave in, told me what it looked like, and let me help her. I was the one who found it. When I asked what was in it, her face turned to one of utter fear, before taking it and telling me it wasn't any of my business. I always assumed that it was something to do with one of her books, y'know? So I dismissed it, but now..." Akilah drifted off, and Reid looked down at the notebook.
"Now we know better."
"I can't forget it now. The look of pure terror on her face... I should have known it wasn't just something to do with her books. And now we have it. She put the clue on the mirror for a reason. This has to be a piece of the puzzle. Maybe it's the whole damn picture. It's some piece of her past that she didn't want anyone to know. I hate to pry, but..." Akilah put her hand on the notebook, sucking in a deep breath.
"But it's the one thing we're missing. This may just be the answer." Reid gently slid the notebook toward Akilah, unsure of what secrets the pages could be hiding. On the surface, the notebook looked unassuming. It was just like any other notebook, except, it wasn't really. Just like the mirror had said, the notebook was red, and Ciara's notebooks were all either blue or black. Except for the green notebook from her childhood. Not to mention that this notebook was a different brand than Ciara used. He looked up at Akilah, and she shook her head.
"I don't know if I can read it. I've always wondered what horrors Ciara has seen, and I've always wished she would tell me. But now that I finally have the answers right in front of me, I don't know. I don't know if I want to open Pandora's box. Will you read it first? Please? And then tell me what it says?" she asked, and Reid nodded. He'd be done with it much sooner than Akilah would be, anyway. He slid it back towards him and slowly opened it. At first, he couldn't bring himself to look at the words on the page, so he simply looked at the inside of the front cover, where he'd come to learn she titled her notebooks. The title immediately made him suck in a breath.
The Rape of Lucrece
"Oh my God..."
"What?" Akilah asked.
"She... she titled this notebook 'The Rape of Lucrece'. You don't think that...?" Reid didn't want to finish the question. They knew from Teresa that Ciara had been badly abused by her parents and her brother. But surely not... surely they didn't go that far? But Reid had a feeling this wasn't about that. This wasn't about them.
"I... She hasn't left any clues behind just because. Everything has had a reason. Every clue has had a meaning. But if this is what I think it is... Why couldn't she tell me?" Akilah asked, sounding hurt. Reid had a feeling he knew what she was hurt about. Akilah had been a rape victim herself. Maybe she was hurt that Ciara couldn't confide in her friend about her trauma when Akilah had gone through the same thing once upon a time. "Just read it. Please. We have to know."
"Okay." Reid nodded once and looked at the words on the page. But at first, he didn't take any of them in. At first, all he saw was how hastily the words were written. Ciara's handwriting wasn't neat by any means, but this was even messier than normal. But then he noticed something else. Tear spots. She had been crying when she had written this. What in the world had she written? The only way to find out was to read it, so Reid took a deep breath and focused his attention on the words on the page.
I can't stop the shaking. I can't stop the words from bouncing around in my head. I can't stop the pain, and I can't stop the tears. But most of all, I can't stop the bleeding.
As I'm writing this, I'm in the bathroom, sitting in a pool of my own blood. I know I should go to the hospital. I should get help. But I can't. I have to write this down first, while every detail is fresh in my mind. It's barely even been ten minutes, but I have to record everything. I have to have this. Just in case. Just in case he ever comes to justice for what he did to me.
But yet, I find it almost impossible to write the words. You never want to admit that something like this could happen to you. You always consider yourself invincible. Those things happen to other people, not to me. And even after all I've been through, I still held that naivety. Surely after everything, this wouldn't happen? Surely the universe didn't hate me that much? But it turns out I was wrong. So, so wrong.
Sure, things like this have happened to me before. Cynthia, she... But what Cynthia did was nothing like this. This was a thousand times worse than anything she ever did to me. I know I have to write this down, but I don't want to. Writing it down would mean that it's real, and I don't want it to be real. But I know it is. I'm sitting in the evidence, the evidence is spread across my arms, my body, my face, everywhere. But just because I can see it, that doesn't mean I want to believe it.
Perhaps it would be easier if I wrote it in third person? Yes, that would bring me the detachment I crave for. If I write it in third person, I can pretend that it happened to someone else, and not to me. Once I am finished writing, I will deal with the fact that it was me. But for now, I can pretend. And pretend I shall. I won't even write in my accent, because that's not me. That girl doesn't have an accent. I'll call myself "Lucrece", or maybe just "Lucy" for short, but the rest of the names I'll keep the same. They're important.
Reid had to take a moment, or he may have started crying. As she said, Ciara had already been through so much. Whatever happened, why did it have to happen to her? It wasn't fair. But he also had a more important question. Who was Cynthia? Who was she, and what did she do? Another family member they weren't supposed to know about? Was Cynthia a stranger to her? Reid voiced these questions to Akilah, who had no idea who Cynthia might be. She simply told Reid to keep on reading. They had to know.
Okay. Here it is. Here's how I found out exactly who the devil is. Here's how I found out what hell looks like.
To be continued...