"pour water over each wound. what about the wound inside me, the wound i was born into? where do i pour when i am the wound? i am what wounds me."
chapter 20
☆
The walk to Endeavors house was an almost out of body experience.
Noa couldn't tell you how far it was, or how long she was walking for. She probably looked crazy -walking around nearly half conscious and covered in bruises, the tattered UA gym uniform barely holding on to her body. If she had been mentally present enough to notice, she would've seen some of the strange looks she got from passerby.
But she was on autopilot right now.
Move your left foot. She kept telling herself. Now your right. Good. Almost there.
It's a familiar feeling, this lights-on-no-one-home thing. She should've seen it coming. All the signs were there- everything that happened today pushed her closer and closer to the edge.
One she had already been struggling to balance on.
Winning the festival and getting muzzled and chained in front of millions of people was only the finale. The big push to send her falling off that edge and falling flat on her face.
Today awakened and then broke something in her. Something she didn't even know existed but had been there, deep down, for a long time. Now that she knows it's there and the wounds are fresh, it's all she could feel.
The sun was starting to set by the time she made it. Her feet stopped right in front of the door, on top of the welcome mat that seemed incredibly ironic at the moment. With a deep breath she stepped inside, letting the door shut quietly behind her.
It was eerily silent inside, the sun peeking through the windows and dancing around the dust in the air. It was such a small thing to notice, but it made everything feel so bizarre. Like none of it was real.
A fake house with fake walls and fake floors and fake rooms.
The only real thing about it was the horror show that went on inside.
At least there's that. That was real. Is.
Noa shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts. She had to do this quickly, wasting time on trivial things wouldn't do anything to help her.
It really was quiet, though. She couldn't hear anything but her own footsteps as she made her way to her room and shut the door behind her.
After a quick look around her dull and nearly empty room, she decided she wouldn't miss it.
She grabbed the biggest backpack she could find and started shoving it full with whatever she could see. Spare clothes, her extra school uniform, phone charger and a few other miscellaneous things she though she might need.
(No one was around to see her neatly tuck her Eraserhead night light in the side pocket, so in her head it didn't happen)
Upon entering the bathroom, she rummaged under the sink for a first aid kit, her toothbrush, deodorant, and other toiletries. She might be homeless in the next few minutes, but she refused to stink.
Which is what reminded her to shower. No doubt she was covered in today. In sweat and dirt and nitroglycerin.
Ugh.
The water was so hot it burned, but Noa savored the feeling. Let it soothe some of the soreness from her muscles. Tried to focus on the sweet vanilla smell of her shampoo.
It failed- her composure slipped.
A moment of weakness her body forced her to have.
It was something about being in the shower, she thinks. Here her thoughts go dark. Life looks a little (a lot) less appealing when it's nothing but her under a stream of boiling water.
The parts of her that shattered like glass during the events of the festival had been hastily thrown back together, just enough to get her here. Now the shards are scattered all over the floor, and she's looking helplessly at the pieces. It's a familiar sight.
That's her, isn't it? The girl made of glass?
Cursed to shatter over and over; to pick up the shards and put herself back together every time.
This little game of fix the orphan is exhausting, but Noa does it anyways. Bends over the pieces and tries to remember which part goes where. Does her best to make herself look like she did before.
It never turns out the same.
Snap out of it. It's time to go, and time stops for no one.
What she's feeling doesn't matter. The world keeps turning, the show goes on, all that good stuff.
The tragedy continues.
Once she was done, her hair was dry, and she was in decent clothes, reality started to set in. In the shower she got to feel sorry for herself, but now it was time to look forward. She was really doing this.
It's not exactly like she had a choice, but still. It's a big change.
Quiet. She told herself. There isn't time to think about this. She has to go now or she would never leave.
With that, she lugged her absurdly heavy backpack and school bag over her shoulders, and made her way to the front door. She didn't let herself look across the hall towards Shotos room, or any of the others for that matter. It's too late to feel sorry.
Come on, Noa. It's time to leave. Just go.
She almost made it, too. Her fingers were inches from the door handle, hovering over it. It wasn't until she actually touched the cool metal that she froze in place, sensing someone's presence near her.
"Noa?"
Fuck.
She had gotten so close, and this was the last person she wanted to have to explain things to. With a slow turn, she meets eyes with Fuyumi, who's looking at Noa through her glasses curiously.
"Where are you going?"
Noa rocks uneasily on her feet as she fiddles with the straps of her backpack, trying to find anywhere to look but her.
"Uh, funny story. Sorta. Endeavor is.. disowning me? Kicking me out? I don't know about the details, just that I have to leave."
Fuyumi seemed at a loss for words for a few seconds, before her face screwed up in anger, which was something that was very rare for her. She was always the one keeping a level head and giving her father the benefit of the doubt no matter what he did.
"Are you kidding? Because of what happened at the festival today?"
Noa nodded. "It's a long story."
"Oh dear." She puts a hand over her chest. "Im so sorry, honey. I wish I could say I can't believe him."
She just shrugged. It's not like there was anything they could do about it. Noa gotten pretty good at accepting things and moving on, it seems.
"I'll be alright. Besides, I told him to go fuck himself, so that felt nice."
Fuyumi let out a shocked laugh as she turned and started filling a sack with any non-perishable foods she could find. Granola bars, crackers, water bottles, the works. The little voice in Noa's head (that wasn't her quirk) tried to tell her that she shouldn't take it, that she didn't deserve it, but logic took over. She knew would need it eventually.
Her sister then set the bag on the counter and started rummaging through her purse, eventually pulling out a few bills and shoving them -along with the food sack- into Noas open hands.
Noa looked at food and wadded up cash, then her. This was too much.
"Thank you, but I- I can't take all this."
Fuyumi just shushes her places a gentle hand on either side of her face, looking at her sweetly with sad eyes.
"You are always welcome here, no matter what dad says. If you ever need a place to shower or just to sleep a few hours, let me know, okay?"
Noa nodded, and Fuyumis voice cracked as she pulled her little sister into a hug.
"I know we weren't close, but you'll always be my sister."
Hugs are foreign to her, so her arms hung limply at her sides, unsure of what to do. But Shotos voice saying those exact words not even a few hours ago rang through her head, and her sister was very warm for someone with an ice quirk, so it was okay. She could handle this hug.
"Thank you." She whispers.
Shes not crying, seriously. Fuyumis hair just got stuck in her eye is all. No tears here.
Her sister laughed a little before pulling back, her voice thick with tears when she spoke. "It kinda sucks that our first hug has to be a goodbye."
Noa huffed, wiping her nose. "It's not goodbye, not forever. Maybe.. 'see you later'?"
Fuyumi smiled at her and waved as she left.
"Okay. See you later."
Leaving wasn't supposed to be this hard, damn it.
Just before she got to the corner, she turned around, no matter how much she didn't want to. Shouldn't.
It's such a pretty house.
Perfectly manicured lawn, the occasional flowerbed. Traditional. Sleek.
Funny, how such a broken home can look so nice from the outside.
Now she's finally getting out of here.
☆
When Noa finally made it back into the city, her legs and shoulders were aching, sore and she was more than exhausted. It was dark out and there were hardly any people on the streets, but that did nothing to calm her nerves.
She stopped in front of a large building, looking left then right. It had to be around 10 minutes away from school, in a decently lit area with not too many people. It would have to do for now.
20 stories doesn't seem like that much until you pull yourself all the way up and look down. It took more work than she would have liked; using one of her snakes as a grappling hook to hoist her and the extra twenty or so pounds of luggage she was carrying all the way up.
One thing she did appreciate, though, once she was up and free of her ̶b̶a̶g̶g̶a̶g̶e̶ backpacks was the view.
Musutafu is beautiful at night, especially from this high up. The city lights twinkling with the stars, the wind whipping against Noa's face and through her hair as she sat on the ledge of the building. It was strange, how peaceful it was up here after such an eventful day.
What was also strange was the boredom she felt. Spare time was usually very rare and happened once in a blue moon, so now that she finally has some, she's lost. What does one do other than obsess over everything wrong in their life?
Then, like a lightbulb screwed in and flickered to life, her eyes lit up and she turned around to start rummaging through her bag.
With an evil little giggle she pulled out her headphones, a lighter, and a small baggie with a few joints in it.
She made a mental note to thank Sero for the weed and Jirou for the playlist she had been listening to recently (it was mostly comprised of Deftones and Mitski, which is right up Noa's alley).
About halfway through the first joint, Noa was exactly where she needed to be. What happened today was far in the back of her mind and could be unpacked later. Right now she was too busy deconstructing the different guitar riffs and drum solos pouring into her ears.
The song currently playing faded out, blending into an older song. From a time before quirks, before heroes. The 1970s.
Noa is definitely "into all that emo shit" as Denki says, but her guilty pleasure is songs like this, from a completely different time. 80s rock and alternative songs just ignited something in her.
Dirty Work by Steely Dan is a 'stoner' song, with jazz rock influence and lyrics that fit her situation just a little too well. It was one of her favorites. She couldn't help herself as she stood, dancing and spinning around as she muttered the lyrics with her eyes closed.
Times are hard
you're afraid to pay the fee
So you find yourself somebody
who can do the job for free
Noa laughed at the lyrics as she kept dancing, her voice getting louder at the chorus.
I'm a fool to do your dirty work,
oh yeah
I don't wanna do your dirty work,
no more
The rooftop might as well be a stage right now, the way she was performing. Her audience is the sky full of stars and the twinkling city lights, her microphone is the lighter she holds in her fist.
Noa was breathless by the time the song was over, laughing to herself at the irony of the lyrics as she lay flat on the middle of the concrete rooftop.
She may or may not have yelled 'Fuck you Endeavor!' and few times during the song but who's listening?
For the first time in sixteen years, she was alive.
Sometimes it felt like she died ten years ago and wasn't really there; like she was the ghost of the child she should've been, wandering around for someone to see her instead of through her.
She's been an empty shell of a person her entire life, but now?
Now she could feel her heartbeat.
Air entering and leaving her lungs, blood pumping through her veins. Her skin, her bones. All chemical reactions the human body makes in order to live were happening right here.
She's alive, see? She's real.
See?
Even if she was never supposed to make it out of that warehouse, even if she wasn't never supposed to be born, she's here. Alive and breathing.
She doesn't know how to feel about that. Being alive sounds horrible.
It can wait till tomorrow, she told herself as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her. She blinked at the Eraserhead nightlight as it sat propped up against the wall. It wasn't even plugged in, but it was there anyways and that was enough.
Let's try not get murdered tonight, yeah?
☆
Unfortunately, she made it through the night. The sun blinded her as she opened her eyes, an instant reminder that she was on a rooftop and not in the house she had grown up in.
Fortunately, though, she had a day full of brand new freedom.
She went to the beach, the library (for at least a couple hours), and had a very long walk through the main part of the city. Every shop that caught her eye, she went in. She didn't get anything, obviously, but it was nice to look at. To experience.
In retrospect, it should've been a great day, but it was tainted.
With her.
Her name on TV. In strangers mouths as she passed by. Her fights with Tokoyami and Bakugo. With Shoto.
Her and Bakugo muzzled and chained as the podium rose from the ground. All Might speaking to each of them. Her throwing the gold medal at Shotos feet and running off.
Everywhere she went was a reminder of that day. All the re-runs of her worst moments, broadcasted for the world to see. It felt like she was stared at everywhere she went, and not in the good 'oh wow I'm famous!' way. More in a 'I made a fool of myself on national television' kind of way.
Now that she finally had an ounce of freedom, she can't go anywhere without being recognized. A bit of a predicament for someone with no where to go in general.
Shit.
That's how Noa ended up back on the rooftop, using a flashlight to read one of the textbooks from her school bag.
Not so happy now, is she?
Whatever brief happiness she got to experience last night was gone, and now she gets to face reality. The consequences of her actions.
"Wait, no please stop! No!"
She looks up from her book and pauses her music. The voice was female and almost incoherent, but it sounded like she was in trouble. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Noa stands, pulling her hoodie over her head and making her way to the edge of the building.
It was hard to see from so far up, but there was definitely some sort of commotion on the ground below. Noa knew she should intervene, but was hesitant. She didn't know the whole situation, or how they would react if she jumped down on top of them.
That all went out the window when she heard the woman scream.
"Don't even think about it." A deeper voice bit, cutting it short. "No one's coming to help you. Make a sound and you're dead, got it?"
The man's voice was threatening, domineering, and gave Noa a very bad feeling about what he planned on doing. Without a second thought, she tied some fabric over the lower half of her face and jumped.
A snake attached itself to the ledge, preventing her from landing on the pavement as she lowered herself until she was hanging upside down right behind the two like she was spider-man.
The pervert in front of her had gotten the woman's pants down and was about to lower his own when Noa cleared her throat, making the man whip his head around with wide eyes.
"I might not be the best at reading people, but it seems like she really doesn't appreciate that."
The man tried hiding his surprise and narrowed his eyes.
"Can I help you, brat? The grown ups are talking here."
Noa clicked her tongue a few times like she was scolding a child, flipping over and landing on the ground.
"That doesn't look like talking to me. I don't know if you're aware, but consent is a requirement for sex. Unless you get off on fucking dead bodies, of course."
The man turned towards Noa fully, giving the woman time to pull her pants up and scoot away. He sneered, the dark of the night casting shadows onto his face. It was hard to tell, but he couldn't be past his late thirties. Dark eyes, short hair, stocky build.
"You playing hero or something? I said leave."
Noa pressed her lips together, trying to stay calm. "Just a concerned citizen. And I really don't care what you said. You need to back off of her."
The man took a deep, annoyed breath in and flicked open a switchblade he had pulled from his sleeve.
"Last chance to leave, kid. I'm warning you."
"I wouldn't..." She warned with a smirk, but the man didn't hesitate to lunge toward her.
Mystery man was weak and stupid, she learned quickly. All she had to do was dodge and use a simple disarming technique, and the knife was out of his hands. After a few punches and a sweep of her leg, he was laying face down on the pavement and trying to crawl away.
"Don't even try it." Noa gritted through her teeth as she pressed the bottom of her shoe against his back. She felt disgusted just looking at him. The thought of what would've happened if she hadn't shown up made her decide not to let him go free.
She could call the police, but they probably wouldn't do much. A slap on the wrist at most.
So what could she do?
The switchblade twirled between her fingers as an idea came to her. A way that would force him to constantly relive this moment, and be forever affected by his actions.
Noa walked towards the man, kneeling near his head and peering down at his face. He looked normal, just like any average man other than the fear filled eyes he looked at her with. Eyes that saw that poor woman and decided she was his for the taking. Fear that couldn't even come close to what she was probably feeling when he tried forcing himself on her.
Remorse was far from Noa's mind at the moment.
She turned the man on his back, watching how he did nothing but follow her with his eyes. The knife twirls between her fingers again and she grabbed his chin with her other hand.
"Fucking pig." She grits through her teeth as squeezes his face, pressing the tip of the blade into his forehead.
Her hand muffled his screams as she etched the word into his head like a dark red tattoo.
Rapist.
So everyone he knows will know what he did. What he is.
His family, the police. Inmates. They'll all know. It's not a secret what happens to guys like him when they get incarcerated.
He would suffer in jail for a long time if she could help it.
She was just finishing the t when her vision went fuzzy, a shaky breath leaving her as the knife slipped.
Her head was pounding, heart racing as she stumbled back, trying to catch herself as she landed on the ground. She tried taking a deep breath, but this feeling was so.. strange.
Could it be his quirk?
Noa's eyes flickered back and forth between the man starting to smile on the ground and the woman passed out a few feet away, her eyes rolling back. There was a fog-like smoke hovering over the ground around them, so thin it was hardly detectable.
His quirk must have some kind of drug-like effect. Something that strong and silent should definitely not be used by the wrong type of people. She pushed herself up, swaying as she took a step towards him. He did nothing but smile stupidly as Noa inhaled shakily and kicked him harshly in the face, knocking him unconscious.
"Asshole."
She was seeing double as she turned away from the man and stumbled towards the woman, falling to her knees when she reached her. Noa shook the woman's shoulder, and she groaned but her eyes blinked open slowly.
"Are you okay?" Her words slurred.
"Something feels wrong." The woman responded, sounding similar.
Noa nods, "His quirk. Drugs or somethin'. You got a phone?"
The woman gestures to her back pocket, and Noa pulls out the device but has to rest her head against the pavement for a couple seconds to catch her breath.
"What's your name?" She pants, dialing the police on the emergency keypad.
"Kayame."
"Okay. Kayame," Another break to catch her breath. "Can you stand? Or try seeing if you're injured anywhere?"
'Musutafu Police Department, what's you're emergency?'
She wasn't sure how well the operator could understand her, but she told them a vague description of what happened, gave them the address and a description of the man before hanging up and dropping her head in her hands.
This wasn't the kind of woozy-ness she was used to. She could hardly breathe.
It would've been amazingly convenient to use her own quirk tie the guy up, but she couldn't risk this being traced back to her. So, this dingy but lengthy piece of rope Kayame found behind the dumpster will have to do.
The idiot was restrained and still unconscious by the time Noa dumped him on the sidewalk. The effects of his quirk were slowly starting to wear off, so she adjusted the piece of fabric she used as a mask and pulled her hoodie tighter over her head.
She checked on Kayame again and made sure she was okay when sirens were starting to approach. There was a moment, when she looked at the pathetic man slumped on the side walk, and then Kayame, her neck already starting to bruise in the shape of his fingers. Her ankle was most likely broken, and the man most likely used his quirk on her a lot throughout the night.
It was obvious what would happen if she was there when the police arrived. She could see it start to play out. Of course they would arrest the perpetrator, but they would also question her. Questioning means they would figure out she was homeless. Which would then start the scandal of the estranged Todoroki sibling, something Noa desperately needed to avoid. The public finding out about her situation includes her school and her teachers and classmates. No way was she going to let that happen.
"Well, that's my signal." She said as the sirens got closer, reaching her hand up and attaching a snake to the top of the roof above. "Stay safe, Kayame. Make sure this guy gets behind bars, yeah?"
Noa saluted her with a wink, and she was off. It wouldn't be smart to go back to her rooftop for at least a couple hours, so for right now she had some time to kill.
She didn't have a clue what she should do during that time, but swinging from rooftop to rooftop was enough for now. It was exhilarating; the lingering effects from the drug quirk as she caught herself again and again, using her momentum to swing to the next one, and the next, and so on.
Her lungs heaved in her chest as her converse met the concrete rooftop and took off running, a breathless smile growing on her face.
This is the freedom she'd been chasing, the adrenaline of finally being able to move. She felt kinda like a superhero- the ones from comic books. The one who swings from building to building on the way to the next villain.
Then she leaps off the ledge, preparing to release another snake just as a red bullet flies directly past of her face.
Only it's not a bullet, she learns as she watches it bury itself into the wings of none other than the Number Three Hero.
Noa's body freezes in midair.
"Hawks?"
She exclaims before realizing two things; first, there is no snake coming out of her hands and second,
she is falling.
Face first into the side of the building.
☆
a/n
extra long chapter just for you :3
welcome to the vigilante arc b!tches