****Don't matter what you say. Don't matter what you do. I only wanna do bad things to you..****
Nova's POV
You had an interview today which you were dreading already. Rebecca White was one of the most nosy people in the industry and you already knew her questions would consist of nothing but Eddie Munson.
"You're gonna do great, babe." Max says gently as he kisses your cheek. You give him a half smile as you grab your purse and sling it over your shoulder. "Fuck.. where's my phone? I'm gonna be late." you groan as you flip the blanket on your bed searching for it.
You hear it ringing in the distance and Max makes it there before you. You see Eddie's face on the screen and Max's turns to you, his eyes full of questions.
"The performance at the VMA's is soon. I'm sure that's what it's about." you lie as you take your phone. Though broken up, you and Eddie still had to perform your duet together in a few days. That should be fun.
"Yeah, I'm sure... Call me when you're done with the interview. Maybe we can grab lunch somewhere?" Max calls as you head for the door.
"Sure!" you call back slamming the door behind you. You run to the elevator as your phone continues to ring. "Hello?" you answer the phone in a rush.
"Hey Princess."
God, his voice makes me melt.
"I don't have time to talk, Eddie. I'm in a hurry." you say quickly as push open the doors to the outside world. You see your driver parked and waiting for you.
"How's my favorite girl?" he continues anyways as you slide in the backseat of the car.
"When did I become your favorite over Stacie, or Jessica, or what was the bendy one's name... oh yeah... Trixie?" you snap.
"You're stressed. What's going on... hey, no teeth.." he mumbles.
"Are you seriously getting your dick sucked while you're calling me? Fuck you, Eddie!"
"Oh come on, you're the only one I let use teeth..."
You hang up the phone and lean back against the seat with a sigh. He's literally impossible.
Why does everything in me want to tell the driver to head there instead? Why am I always craving him?
You grab your phone again flipping through your contacts.
"I fucking hate him." you say as soon as she picks up and Chloe snorts.
"No you don't. But I've told you a thousand times, come to the dark side, baby. We have so much fun." she teases.
Chloe Monroe. My only true friend in this industry. Proud lesbian and hater of most of the male species.
"I do. He's such an asshole." you groan and she sighs deeply.
"So you're trying to decide if you should go fuck him or not." she states bluntly.
"What? No!" you protest. "Shit... maybe. I miss him." you mumble.
"Suck it up, baby. You need to go to this interview and then you need to go home to your sweet hunk of a man." Chloe says sternly.
"You're right. I know you're right."
"I'm always right. But if you do go, tell me all the filthy details later." she giggles and you just roll your eyes.
"I love you. Gotta go."
"Love you!"
Your driver meets your eyes through the mirror and shakes his head with a laugh.
"You do keep an old man like me entertained." Sal laughs and you can't help but give him a smile. He pulls up in front of the building and you take a deep breath before slipping out of the car.
I can do this. Just talk about my music. Stay focused.
The fact that it's filmed in front of a live audience wasn't helping your stress level. This was your first interview since your breakup six months ago. People wanted to know what happened. Everyone wanted to know the dirty details of your life as if it wasn't breaking your heart into pieces.
These people didn't care about you. They just wanted information. It was just the business.
You made your way to hair and makeup. The guy who tended to you was a sweetheart. He kept the conversation light and focused on getting you perfect for the camera.
And then came Rebecca.
"Nova! You look incredible!" she gushes as you stand up from the chair. You give her the fakest of smiles as she pulls you in for a hug.
"Thank you. So do you." you reply sweetly. "So I just wanted to make sure we were clear on the topics..."
"I know, dear. No talk of that handsome boy of yours... is he still yours?"
Fuck this shit.
"Rebecca, with all due respect, I don't have to do this interview."
"I'm only kidding. I received a list of all the off-topic things before the show. No Munson. No diets. No Max? Such a shame.. he's a cutie." she chatters.
"Are we clear?" you say shortly.
"I'll see you soon." she disappears swiftly and you feel even more nervous than before.
You quickly dial your manager and she answers immediately.
"You can't back out."
"She's gonna spend the entire interview talking about the breakup. I can already tell." you argue.
"Nova, you need this. You need to get back out there. You need to talk about your new album. You need to show them he didn't destroy you." Lisa pushes back.
You pause for a second weighing your options. She's gonna eat me alive.
"Put your big girl panties on. Those sexy ones, with the little bow." Lisa chuckles.
You exhale deeply and tell her you'll call her after.
Here we fucking go.
You walk out on the stage and the crowd begins with their clapping and cheers. You look out and give them all a wave as you plaster a smile on your face.
You see Rebecca seated in her chair as you make your way across the stage. She stands and greets you before you take your place across from her.
The questions start simple. "How have you been?" "What new projects are you working on?"
She lets you talk about your new album which makes you feel excited and a little more relaxed. Maybe she won't bring him up.
"Nova will be performing a song from her upcoming album for the first time for all of you!" Rebecca cheers. The crowd is filled with excitement as you make your way to the side of the stage.
The lights dim and you take the mic in your hand.
"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I shall die before I 'wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
You speak the first verse slowly. You close your eyes and shut out the people around you. You feel the music running through your veins as you begin to sing.
"I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life.
I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind.
They talk shit, but I love it every time.
And I realize..
I've tasted blood and it is sweet.
I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet.
I've trusted lies and trusted men.
Broke down and put myself back together again.
Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters.
Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger.
I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers
And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors.
"Come on, little lady, give us a smile"
No, I ain't got nothin' to smile about.
I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for
A moment to say I don't owe you a goddamn thing.
I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life
I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind
They talk shit, but I love it every time
And I realize..
I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.
That I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.
No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth.
And Imma let you speak if you just let me breathe.
I've been polite, but won't be caught dead.
Lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed.
Keep my exes in check in my basement,
'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent.
I could play nice or I could be a bully.
I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be.."
You lose yourself in your song as you perform. Fuck, I missed this.
"Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware.
But I'd rather be a real nightmare than die unaware, yeah.
Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware.
But I'm glad to be a real nightmare, so save me your prayers..."
You finish the song softly.
"I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night.
That I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night."
The crowd cheers wildly as the lights brighten. You smile and give your lip a little bite. They liked it.
You start to feel a new confidence. One that's been missing these past few months. Maybe Lisa was right. This was needed.
You take your seat again across from Rebecca who praises you dramatically. She's so fake. Her personality and her entire face. It's not my business.. I'm just saying. You wouldn't recognize her if you had met her 5 years ago.
"Dark and dramatic and sexy all at once. I love it!" she purrs.
You give her a smile and thank her before glancing at the clock. It's almost over.
"Now.. a question we've all been wondering.."
Don't do it.
Your smile immediately fades.
"What happened between you and Eddie Munson? Everyone thought the two of you would be together forever. Well maybe not forever.. this is the fourth time you guys have split? The last one was pretty nasty." she flings the words out before you can even process.
This bitch. I can't overreact. It's a taping but there are people here, fans. She knows what she's doing.
There are murmurs throughout the crowd.
Calm down, Nova. Breathe.
"I like to keep some things private. My romantic life being one of them. I hope everyone here can understand that." you repeat the rehearsed lines Lisa fed to you before the show.
"Well I wouldn't call getting into a fight in a bar in front of one hundred people very private... what started that? Did he cheat?" she lowers her voice on the last word as if everyone in the room can't hear your conversation.
"Rebecca, I was in this industry before Eddie. I am an artist. My entire life doesn't revolve around Eddie fucking Munson." you spit the last words and Rebecca does a dramatic gasp.
Shit.
"I think this interview is done." you quickly make your way off the stage.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
You call Sal and rush down the stairs. The paparazzi is waiting for you as you open the doors.
"Nova! Over here!" Shouts and screams surround you as the flashes blind your eyes. Sal quickly makes his way to you and helps you into the car.
He pulls off quickly as your tears begin to fall.
"Home, Ms. Gray?"
"No... I.. can you take me to see him?" you sniffle.
Sal nods and turns down the familiar street. He slowly comes to a stop in front of the apartment building.
"Want me to wait?" Sal asks as you open the door to leave.
"No. Thank you, Sal." you say before shutting the door behind you.
You walk in and the security guard gives you a nod as he lets you past him. You slip in the elevator and chew your lip as you watch the floor numbers rise.
You reach his floor and stand in front of his door. Your phone goes off in your pocket.
Max: Any requests for lunch or you want me to pick?
Fuck.
The door opens and you look up to see his dark brown eyes. A shit eating grin on his face.
"Hello, sweetheart."
****A/n: 🖤 Lyrics from one of my favorite Halsey songs, Nightmare. 🖤