This is the playlist for their story if you would like to listen while reading!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqi6ZCDx3-M&list=PLjWo3wvwLZ_gl9Na6oha9dODgq1SCkbPt
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Pink flowers with five petals each. They were on the tapestry, going around all four corners of the room, in a row. He counted them again; but afterwards, he still couldn't remember how many there were. It went like that every time.
They were sitting in his sister's room, in the corner next to her white bed with the princess decoration. The covers were still unmade, and some of her plush toys were lying on the ground. Their glass eyes looked sad. It was still early in the morning.
He ignored the pain when she dug her fingernails into his upper arm, and he made a hushing sound when something shattered downstairs, again; it was a glass, probably, he couldn't tell for sure.
"It's okay.", he whispered into her ear. He doubted if she could even hear him, as she sobbed into his shoulder. She had her favorite stuffed animal, a bunny, in her other hand, holding it tightly, like her life depended on it.
Something else shattered, followed by screams, and he ducked his head. After a while, it was finally quiet. Still, they didn't dare to come out, crammed into the corner. Like always. It was somehow the same space, constantly. They've grown accustomed to it.
"Come on, Tsireya.", he murmured after some time; it could've been minutes or hours, he didn't know. "We have to get ready for school."
_______________
The ceiling slowly started to make him dizzy. The fluorescent lights were still off, not blaring their brightness into his eyes like usually during practice.
He was the first to arrive at school today, and his coach had let him into the swim hall a bit reluctantly, as if he wasn't sure if he could trust a student being all alone in the water all of a sudden.
It took Ao'nung some convincing, he explained that he wanted to do some extra rounds by himself, and was relieved when the door to the boy's locker room was opened with a dangling key. The coach mustered him strangely, and he felt his burning look on his back when he walked inside.
"Are you alright, kid? Did you have a good summer break?", he slowly asked. Ao'nung had just shrugged.
"Yeah, why?"
Of course he was alright. And even if he wasn't, it wouldn't matter.
He had hastily changed into his swimwear and jumped into the pool. The sharp sound of his body hitting the water echoed through the hall; now it was quiet, aside from a distant humming he couldn't tell the source of.
The water was tickling his ears. He had been floating on his back, aimlessly like driftwood miles away from the shore. It was cold and he shivered a bit, the water was freezing.
He turned around and dipped his head in. The small tiles on the ground were blue and red, matching the school's theme colors. He dove deeper and absently started counting them, running a finger over each tile. They were smooth and clean, unlike the way he felt about himself.
Only the water had always been able to keep those stupid sentiments at bay; but they were still waiting for him, at the edge of the pool.
He got startled when suddenly a hand grabbed him by the shoulder, and he almost swallowed some water as he was pulled back to the surface.
"Yo! What the hell were you doing down there?"
Rotxo was flashing him a bright grin, and droplets of water were running down his face. He didn't even notice him getting into the pool as well.
"I saw your car in the parking lot but I couldn't find you anywhere. Then I saw your ass down there and thought you drowned."
Ao'nung rolled his eyes and grinned back. "Can't live a day without me, can you?"
"You're my best friend.", Rotxo shrugged, "I mean, I would get over it in a couple of months, but it would still suck."
"A couple of months?!"
Ao'nung grabbed him and dunked his head under water, but Rotxo was quick and slithered his way out of the headlock like an eel. It started to get louder in the hall when laughter and excitement traveled over to them from the locker room. More and more people arrived, and he could see cars pull up into the parking lot through wet eyes. Rotxo laughed.
"Why are you here so early anyway?", he asked; his glance briefly flickered across Ao'nung's face, like he was scanning him, and stopped at his lower lip.
Ao'nung brushed over the bruise and looked away, pretending he didn't notice.
"Your lip. It's busted! What happened?"
"Nothing.", he curtly said, feeling uneasiness settling in his stomach.
"I hit my head against the cupboard. That's all."
"Really? I saw you yesterday. You were fine."
"Well, it happened after you left."
Rotxo pulled a doubting face.
"How?"
His voice sounded worried, and it made his insides churn. This was so disgusting.
"I'm fine, dude.", he murmured when Rotxo reached out to his face and slapped his hand away.
"Don't worry about it."
"But-"
Ao'nung dove back into the water. He could faintly hear Rotxo calling his name, but he ignored it. Suddenly, the cold water felt so incredibly comforting. It calmed his nerves. He swam a few meters away from Rotxo and his gnawing, embarrassing questions. When he dipped his head back up, he was still looking at him quizzically, with one brow pulled up. It embarrassed him even more, because he probably knew what really happened, and it made him sick to his stomach.
"Get out of the way, Rotxo!"
Suddenly someone else jumped into the pool and made waves in the water with a mighty splash. Rotxo threw his head back and laughed, they fought.
"Good to see you, dude!"
"Ao'nung, what the hell are you doing there? Get over here!"
He swam towards them, infinity grateful for the distraction he had been gifted with. Slowly, the awkwardness faded away and dove into something more lighthearted and relaxing.
"Yo, Ve'nat. What the fuck is up with your hair? It looks stupid."
"Oh, bite me dude. What happened to your face?"
"We were hanging out yesterday and he fell. Face first, that idiot."
Ve'nat laughed at him, then he turned around to greet the other guys from the swim team, which were slowly pouring into the hall. Ao'nung threw Rotxo a quick, grateful look. Thanks, he tried to say with his eyes. It's alright., Rotxo responded, but we need to talk about this later. He hoped later would never come. He'd rather drown in the pool right now and just be done with it.
"Alright!", the coach's booming voice made everyone snap out of it. The rest of the team jumped into the water when he blew his whistle.
"It's good to see you again, boys. As you know, summer break is over and I hope – no, I expect that you took your training seriously in the past couple of weeks. Today we're gonna..."
Ao'nung barely listened to the rest of the coach's speech. Mainly because he couldn't concentrate since his best friend was staring at him the whole time, throwing daggers like nobody's business. He could practically hear Rotxo's mind going several miles per hour.
When it was finally time for practice, he made sure to stay away from him as far as possible, trying to make conversation with his other friends like Ve'nat or Atxa, who thought it would make him look incredibly hot if he grew his flimsy mustache out. Ao'nung made fun of him for it, and they both got yelled at by the coach when they started fighting.
"Hey, Ao'nung.", Rotxo whispered when they had just finished doing leaps for endurance practice. Everyone had to do 15 rounds each around the pool, they weren't starting off slow, thank god, and he had the opportunity to let off some pent-up steam. He had just started to relax again, finishing his leaps first and throwing middle fingers to his friends who weren't as fast as himself. When Rotxo swam up to him, he had to suppress an annoyed groan.
"What?", he quietly hissed through gritted teeth, "Just let it go already, dude."
Rotxo shook his head.
"No, it's not that. Look."
He nodded towards the entrance of the hall, where the coach was talking to someone, and Ao'nung's breath got stuck in his throat.
It was Neteyam.
"What's he doing here?", Rotxo asked with furrowed brows and secretly threw him a dirty look.
"Please tell me he isn't going to try out for the swim team. I'll lose my mind."
"Calm down, dude.", Ao'nung muttered, unable to keep his glance away from him for too long.
He felt a small sting in his chest, which he brutally pushed away.
"You're not the one he ended a friendship with. Just like that."
He hated how bothered his own voice sounded. He thought he'd gotten over it at this point.
"Yeah, but he did it to you and it still kind of pisses me off.", Rotxo muttered quietly, "I mean, what was that all about anyway? He just ghosted you, for what?"
"I don't know, man."
Ao'nung quickly shook his head, suddenly way more interested in the colorful tiles beneath his floating legs.
"It's whatever."
He stole another quick glance before deciding to do a few extra leaps, even though he was already exhausted. Neteyam was wearing black, baggy jeans and a sweatshirt; he looked thinner than usual, kind of tired and cold.
The coach seemed to have trouble warming up to him and awkwardly scratched the back of his head with his red clipboard. They talked, Neteyam nodded, then he disappeared again. Just like that.
"Come on.", Rotxo suddenly said and slapped his arm, pulling him out of his thoughts.
"Keep up, dude!"
When the coach blew his whistle again Ao'nung was completely done for the day. He overdid it again, but he was glad he wasn't scolded for it this time. He kind of needed it.
His lungs were burning and his skin prickled under the hot water when he took a shower afterwards, quickly getting into his normal clothes before attempting to dry his hair. It had gotten longer, but he refused to carry a hairdryer to school like his sister did; and she didn't even have any swim classes to begin with.
The cafeteria was swamped. He thought the last two History lessons were horrible, but this was kind of worse. Everyone was screaming, girls were hugging each other and the staff couldn't be quick enough to feed all of the hungry mouths at once.
Ao'nung got in line, already annoyed from the way people were carelessly pushing each other around, and he almost dropped his tray while fighting his way to his friends.
"What took you so long?", Ve'nat asked while shoving a fork in his mouth.
"Coach wanted to talk to me. That's all."
"What did he say?", Rotxo raised an eyebrow, "Anything about college, maybe?"
Ao'nung rolled his eyes.
"What is it with you trying to get me educated? I'm definitely smarter than you anyway."
"My report says otherwise. And you should really try and go for it. You could get a scholarship. You're pretty good."
"I'm not going to college, Rotxo.", Ao'nung said exasperated.
"Why not? We're all going – are you seriously planning on staying here? All by yourself?"
He shrugged the question off; it wasn't as easy as he thought that would be.
"Just shut up and eat."
He saw Rotxo scoff form the corner of his eyes, but he seemed to have given up. For now. It wasn't the first time he had tried to convince him to do it; but Ao'nung knew that he wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.
Not that he had ever seriously considered going to college in the first place. He couldn't leave Tsireya alone – who he spotted coming inside the cafeteria right now.
She smiled at him and waved, grabbed her food and tip-toed her way to another table; where her boyfriend sat with his sister Kiri. Ao'nung groaned internally when Tsireya settled next to Lo'ak and pressed a sweet kiss on his cheek. He grinned and kissed her back. He wanted to vomit.
Kiri seemed to feel the same way, because she pulled a disgusted face and quickly turned away from them, poking around in her tray while putting her headphones back on. He couldn't help but stare for a while; because one of the siblings was missing.
Without being able to stop himself, he quickly scanned the cafeteria for Neteyam. But it was too crammed and loud, every single table was filled up to the brim, and he bit down on his lower lip when disappointment settled in his stomach. He shouldn't be feeling this way; he should be completely unbothered. Or pissed off. And he was – or at least, he used to be. Now he just felt like a total idiot.
He looked around once more, just to be sure. At this point he didn't even know why he was doing it in the first place; then he found him.
Neteyam was sitting all alone in the back of the room. His table was occupied by other people, but he didn't really seem to care or engage in conversation with them. He was just staring out of the window, hands in his pockets and food untouched. He had his hair tied up, and some of the braided strands hung freely in his face. It seemed like he was completely lost in thought, he didn't even blink.
Ao'nung almost jerked up when their glanced suddenly met for a brief moment. Neteyam mustered him, only for a second – then his glance went back to the window. His face looked a bit pained after that.
"What's up?", Atxa suddenly asked, pulling him back to reality and his own table.
"Nothing.", he murmured while shaking his head and shoving a spoonful of chili into his mouth. It was still hot and burned his mouth.
"He's staring at Neteyam.", Ve'nat commented with a sly grin, "Were you thinking what I was thinking?"
Ao'nung furrowed his brows.
"What are you talking about?", he asked, trying to sound casual.
"You two are friends, right?"
"We were. But yeah. Why?"
"So you didn't hear anything?"
"About what?"
"You really don't know what I'm talking about?"
"Come on, dude, you're starting to piss me off."
"Alright, alright. It's just that...there's been certain rumors going around. About that guy."
Ao'nung put his spoon back down.
"...Well if it's just a rumor it's probably wrong.", he then calmly said and finished his food.
"You shouldn't believe everything you hear, you fucking dork."
"Oh, please. So, you're no longer friends anymore. No need to stand up for him, alright? Nobody needs you proving your loyalty and shit."
"I hate to say it, but Ve'nat is right.", Rotxo slowly said, "I mean, he did just stop talking to you after all."
"...Don't encourage them."
"You seriously don't know?"
Ve'nat kept on bugging and it really started to annoy him. He didn't want to talk about Neteyam, or rumors, or anything in general. He just wanted to get this day over with and go home.
"You know what, let's just drop it.", Rotxo quickly intervened; he seemed to have picked up on Ao'nung's mood taking a nosedive. In that same moment, the bell rang and ushered everyone to their next class.
"I heard that he-"
Ao'nung didn't hear the rest; and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to. It wasn't his business after all. Not anymore.
___________
The sun was slowly setting behind the buildings. It was moderately warm, and the sky had already been dipped in a blue and orange light, slowly fading into black. Small, white dots glistened above them.
They were walking back from the skate park. Rotxo would jump on his board and do a couple of tricks from time to time, but mostly, he just walked besides Ao'nung; his skateboard broke today, one of the wheels was missing.
R&B-music was playing from Rotxo's phone, but typically, he tried to be respectful and lowered the volume as the walked through the neighborhood. The trees rustled when a small gust blew through their branches, and some of their leaves floated to the ground.
They walked past the same broken-down homes Ao'nung had been seeing since...forever, really. Some of the owners moved every now and then, and one or two buildings got torn down over the years, but all in all, it looked pretty much the same.
The windows had a golden glow on them, coming from the sunset, and it smelled a bit like barbecue. Grey smoke came from someone's backyard, and he heard people laughing.
He watched how his shoelaces slowly became undone and got dragged over the asphalt. A car honked, they were in the middle of the road, and it drove past them with screeching tires, stirring up smoke. Ao'nung flashed him the middle finger, hoping the guy saw it.
"I can't believe today was the first day. Of school, I mean. It's crazy, like summer break never happened.", Rotxo pondered while jumping on his skateboard, going around Ao'nung in a circle and getting back off when he was next to him again.
"You sound like middle-aged lady."
"Hey, I was just trying to be poetic. You can't blame a guy for liking poetry. And the girls are into that, too, just so you know."
"What kind of girls have you been talking to? Are they invisible by any chance?"
Rotxo gave him a half-assed punch to the arm.
"Screw you."
"Let me guess: you're acting like a try-hard for Kiri, right?"
His best friend's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head; but the redness on his face gave it away. Ao'nung grinned.
"Aw, isn't that cute?"
"Oh, shut up. She's cool. I just like hanging out with her."
"Yeah, and you just happen to like poetry and philosophy and all that shit, all of a sudden, right?"
Rotxo huffed and rolled his eyes.
"She introduced me to a lot of interesting stuff."
"Jut get it over with and tell her you like her, dude."
"I can't! I mean, hold on. If I did like her – which I don't – I would be way too scared to destroy our friendship anyways. It's not right."
"Oh please, Rotxo, everyone and their mother knows you've been crushing on her hard since fifth grade. I think Kiri even knows herself."
"You think so...? I hope she doesn't."
"Why?"
"Because...it's whatever. It would just be awkward."
"Right. Because you don't like her like that."
"Nope. Not at all. She's just a cool friend I have."
"Sure."
He laughed when Rotxo threw him a dirty look. It was so easy to make him mad.
"Why did you just leave today without saying goodbye?"
A harsh change of conversation topics. Ao'nung absently bit his lip and shrugged, avoiding Rotxo's questioning glance. He bent down for a second to fix his shoelaces, only to watch them unravel again a couple steps further down the road.
"I was in a hurry. Had stuff to do.", he lamely said.
"Come on. We know everything about each other. What kind of stuff did you have to take care of? You never do anything."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm serious. I wanted to talk to you today, after school, and you just ditched me."
Ao'nung sighed when Rotxo's voice started to sound sulky. He felt a hand on his shoulder now and it irked him. He quickly shrugged him off.
"It's fine, Rotxo.", he said, already in the clear what he wanted to talk to him about. And he was desperately trying to avoid it.
He licked over his bruise and tasted copper in his mouth; the wound had reopened again.
"I know it's not. What happened?"
"Nothing. Mom just had a couple too many yesterday night."
Ao'nung kept staring at the ground, but he could still feel Rotxo's eyes burning a hole into the left side of his face.
"As always.", he murmured with an angry undertone.
"It's fine. She didn't do it on purpose."
"Yeah. This time."
"Just drop it, dude. She was pretty out of it anyway – I don't think she even remembers."
"...You should talk about this to someone."
Ao'nung scoffed.
"And who?"
"Mr. Sully is a cop. Maybe you could-"
"No fucking way. Not with that preachy attitude again, Rotxo. It's annoying. Stop it."
Rotxo sighed, exasperated; they stayed silent for a while.
"Sorry. About annoying you today, I mean.", he then said and rubbed his neck, "I was just worried, you know."
"It's alright. I know you're just...looking out for me."
"Yeah, I am. Always. I'm your brother from another mother. And I don't like it when you don't tell me things."
"I know.", Ao'nung gave him a half-smile, "Sorry.", he quietly added.
He started to kick a pebble around he spotted on the ground. Rotxo stole the pebble from him with his foot, and they kicked it back and forth for a bit.
"Do you wanna stay over at my place?", he asked after a while, "My mom is making lasagna tonight. We could play video games..."
"...Yeah.", Ao'nung nodded slowly, "Why not. But if Tsireya won't be sleeping over at Lo'ak's place, I'll probably just stay at home."
"Right. Text me later, okay?"
Ao'nung didn't even register that they'd already arrived at his place. He glanced over the small building with wilted paint once light-blue, the creaky wooden stairs leading to the front door and the tall tree to it's right. The branches were softly touching the windows on the first floor. Some of the leaves had already started to turn orange. He said goodbye to Rotxo and watched him drift off on his skateboard. The music from his phone quietly faded away.
He unlocked the door and stepped inside, slipping out of his shoes. The first thing that caught his eye were a bunch of new, unopened letters on the dresser.
He sighed and decided to take care of them later, before grabbing something to drink from the fridge and plopping down on the living room couch next to his mother. She was watching TV, and gratefully smiled at him when he gave her the can of beer she'd been asking about with her eyes.
"Oh, thank god you're home.", she sighed as she opened the can.
It made a fizzing sound, and she quickly put it against her lips. He noticed how this was her fifth one today; the rest of them were piled up on the coffee table, crushed. It smelled like smoke, as always, and the ashtray was overflowing. Small particles of ash danced in the last light coming through the window.
"What are you watching?", he asked and leaned back, sipping on his coke.
"Oh, it's just been the news right now. They're airing some new show after the commercial break.", she rolled her eyes and brought another cigarette to her lips.
The lighter didn't work at first, and she had to press her thumb down a couple of times. The orange glow illuminated her face, and some of her long, curly hair hung freely in front of her green eyes. She looked beautiful and relaxed like that – everything was fine. Rotxo was just overreacting, as always.
"How was school, kid?", she asked, her glance going back and forth between him and the TV.
"Fine. Nothing much ever happens on the first day."
"Oh yeah, right...", she pressed her hand against her forehead, the smoke from her cigarette danced through her messy hair.
"Today was the first day of school. I completely forgot about that. Sorry."
"It's okay, mom. You work a lot. And me and Tsireya aren't children anymore."
"What are you talking about? Of course you are.", his mother reached out and ruffled his hair, "It's just that work has been really killing me lately..."
She huffed tiredly and put her legs up to rest them on the coffee table. Some of the spilled ash dirtied her old, flared jeans, and she tugged her brown flannel shirt closer around her frame.
"Where have you been, by the way?"
"Just hanging out with Rotxo. At the skate park. I kinda broke my board..."
"Seriously, Ao'nung? I don't have the money to by you a new one."
"It's just the wheel. I'll fix it myself."
"And where's your sister?"
"No idea, probably with Lo'ak."
"I would just love it if you kids called or texted me, so I knew where you are at least."
"I'm sure she's fine."
She huffed.
"Are you hungry at all? There's still some mac and cheese in the fridge."
"No, I'm good. Can I sleep over at Rotxo's place tonight?"
"What for? Don't you have school tomorrow? You two just saw each other."
"I know, but he wanted to play video games. Maybe we'll watch a movie."
"Fine.", she murmured, "You're almost 18 now, your birthday's in October. I can't tell you what to do forever..."
"Thanks, mom."
Ao'nung finished his coke and hopped up to go pack his stuff.
"But do your homework first!", he heard her call from downstairs.
"We don't have any!", he retorted loudly.
Everything was fine. His bruise flared up again, but he tried to tune out the pain. Eventually, it disappeared. He mindlessly shoved his pajamas and a new set of clothes, his charger and his toothbrush in his backpack and texted Rotxo that he'd be there soon.
His eyes briefly glanced over all of his messages; and got stuck on one chat in particular. A faint, dull pain ached up in his chest as he opened it, shifting at the edge of his bed, while he overflew a couple of words.
Hey are you okay?
You keep leaving me on read
Yo dude
Is everything alright?
Hello??
What's going on with you? Are you mad?
Tsireya said you guys came home early from your vacation but she doesn't know why or at least she won't tell me
I'm kinda worried
Did someone die? Are you okay?
I came by your house today like a fucking creep, your dad sent me away???
Alright. Fine. I got the message.
Happy birthday.
He quickly closed his messenger and hurried downstairs. He made a brief stop in the living room, pressing a kiss on his mother's head. She absently smiled and patted his shoulder, eyes focused on the TV. He threw his backpack on the passenger seat and started the engine, backing out of the driveway and heading to Rotxo's place.
________________
"Hah! You lost!"
"No way dude, you cheated your way through that level!"
"I didn't! I won this round fair and square, you just fucking suck at this game. You're not even pressing the right buttons, loser."
Ao'nung punched him in the arm and Rotxo threw a few chips at him. They fought, until they heard knocking at the door.
"Boys! Dinner's ready!"
Rotxo's mother was in the kitchen, dancing to the song Hey DJ playing on the radio. She swayed the plates in her hands around, nimbly walking over to the dinner table and putting them down. It smelled like food, there was still warmth coming from the oven and the TV faintly mumbled in the background, mixing with the joyful sound of the radio. It was nice.
"There you go. Dig in.", she said, proceeding to place a fat kiss first on her son's, then on Ao'nung's cheek.
"My two favorite boys...how was school?"
She danced over to the stove, grabbing another portion of lasagna for herself before sitting down across from them. Ao'nung smiled. He had always felt so comfortable with her. Mila was really the best. She had beautiful long hair and a soft smile, and she loved to wear dresses when she wasn't in her work attire – which she wore almost all the time, like now.
"School was fine. But I'm already writing a test next week.", Rotxo groaned, his mouth full of food. It was still hot, and he burned his tongue, earning a laugh from Ao'nung.
"Oh, what's it about?", she asked, pulling one of her legs close and blowing on her fork.
"...I have no idea."
"Well, I'm sure you'll do just fine. What about the swim team? You started training right away, right?"
"We did. It was pretty intense, but Ao'nung winged it, as always."
"...I didn't. You were just unfocused. Probably thinking about Kiri-"
He grunted when Rotxo kicked his foot under the table.
"Oh, Kiri? Is that the nice girl who comes to visit you from time to time?"
"Mom, she's just a friend..."
"I didn't say she was anything else! Or is she...?"
Ao'nung listened how Rotxo tried, and failed, to talk himself out of this situation, while his mother intently listened. He grinned when he threw him a foul look. It was so easy to make him flustered, just saying Kiri's name was often enough.
Ao'nung glanced around the kitchen. They lived in a rather small apartment, the kitchen and the living room were merged together, making space for one bathroom and two tiny bedrooms. But he loved being here. It was usually calm and quiet, it always smelled like candles because Mila collected them, and their home was filled with...peace. Peace and love. There were Polaroids taped to the fridge, he was on some of them as well. There was one picture of Rotxo and his dad, framed in a silly, pink heart; his dad had passed away when he was very young. Ao'nung couldn't remember the last time he saw a photograph somewhere in his house.
"Ao'nung, how's your mom, by the way? I met her at the grocery store a few days ago. She looked a bit tired."
"Oh. She's...fine. Work's just stressing her out."
"Does she still work at that diner?"
"Yeah...they're pretty understaffed right now."
Rotxo threw him an urging look, glancing to him, then to his mother. Ao'nung briskly shook his head. His best friend scoffed.
"I see...well, tell her I said hi, alright?"
"Will do, Mila."
"How's the food? I think I went a bit overboard with the salt..."
She sighed and shook her head.
"We're pretty understaffed, too. Sometimes I regret becoming a nurse..."
"But you're like, really good at it, mom."
"Thanks, kid. I guess...if all of our residents weren't so sweet, I would've quit years ago. By the way, you two have school tomorrow. If I hear one single sound after 11 pm, I'll ground you both. Got it?"
"No worries. Ao'nung is super boring, anyway. I can't wait until he leaves."
"Hey, screw you, too!"
Mila laughed, then she finished her plate and got up to get seconds, briefly dancing to the radio again. Ao'nung watched her and wondered how one person could be so nice and giving, even though they had so much taken from them. And why it didn't work like that at home.
"Dude, if you ever say anything about Kiri to my mom again, I'll beat your ass!", Rotxo hissed, "That was so embarrassing just now!"
Ao'nung laughed.
"Yeah, that was pretty fun to watch."
Rotxo threw some of his lasagna at him, he gladly returned the gesture and it turned into a massive food fight – until Ao'nung accidentally pushed his plate over and it fell to the floor. It shattered right away, spilling it's content over the cheap, worn-down linoleum.
"Come on boys, seriously?", Mila said and huffed, "Look at this, I just mopped today..."
She walked over to them; and suddenly, he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. His throat tied shut, his heart started to race and he felt strangely sick. He froze on his chair with sweaty palms and stared at the ground.
Look at what you did, you little shits! Clean it up, clean it up right now or I'll -
"Yo, Ao'nung. Are you okay?"
Rotxo had put a hand on his back, looking at him with worried eyes. It made him immediately snap out of it. He realized how he just almost flew into a panic because he dropped something, and felt shame creeping up his face. He swallowed hard, nodding weakly. His palms still felt sweaty.
"I-I'm fine.", he managed to stutter, taking a subtle, deep breath. "Sorry, Mila. That was an accident..."
"Hey, it's alright.", she reassured him with a smile, "It's just a plate. It happens. Don't worry, I'll take care of that. Do you want a new portion? You two can eat in Rotxo's room while I clean that up."
"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, uh- it was pretty filling."
Rotxo furrowed his brows, not letting go of him until they arrived in his room. It took Ao'nung a while to calm down – he desperately tried to keep his composure, but pretending in front of his best friend was useless. Still, he preferred if they didn't talk about it. They played video games again. It was a good distraction, and eventually, they brushed their teeth and went to bed. Rotxo always had an air mattress in the corner, because Ao'nung stayed over at his place all the time; it had somewhat become a ritual at this point. He had placed the mattress next to Rotxo's bed, in front of the window. His room was dark and quiet, aside from the console humming away. It was still on standby-mode, they had forgotten to turn it off properly. The light from the street lamp outside fell softly through the window, illuminating the ceiling and a good part of his covers. Rotxo was on his phone, seemingly unbothered by his screen brightness turned up to the maximum, while Ao'nung just laid there, absently staring out into the darkness.
"Are you okay?", he carefully asked after a while, and put his phone down.
Now, the room appeared even darker. A car drove past the building, and it's headlights glided over both their beds before disappearing again.
"Yeah, I'm fine.", he answered, putting his arm across his face. It felt cooling.
"You looked...scared earlier.", Rotxo said, keeping his voice low so his mother wouldn't hear them next door.
"Come on, dude. Scared of what?"
"I'm just telling you what I saw."
"It was just...a bad memory. That's all."
"Oh. Do you wanna talk about it?"
He shook his head.
"No. Don't think so."
"Okay. But if you want to, I'm always here for you. Brother from another mother. Remember?"
"...Yeah. Thanks, dude."
"Anytime. And...if you ever need, like, a grown-up to talk to, my mom would listen to you as well. She loves you."
"Okay."
Silence. Ao'nung didn't know what to say. He felt kind of numb, right now.
"I'm beat. Let's go to sleep."
He turned to the side, burrowing his head in the pillow. Thankfully, sleep came pretty quickly.
_____________
It rained the next day. The windshield wipers squeaked across the glass, and Rotxo made an annoyed face. Ao'nung pulled up to the school parking lot. People were running across the place, heading towards the building, it looked like a sea of wet heads aimlessly moving around in different directions.
"Hey, dude, can you park over there? I see Kiri and Tsireya!", Rotxo begged excitedly, pointing towards another free spot next to Kiri's car.
Ao'nung rolled his eyes, carefully maneuvering through the crowd and squeezing in next to them. The spot was pretty tight, and he was surprised his mirrors were still attached afterwards. Rotxo climbed out immediately.
"Hey, Kiri!", he happily called, pulling her into a tight hug.
It looked cute and funny at the same time, since she was taller than him, and Ao'nung threw him a mocking grin. Rotxo secretly showed him the finger.
"Hey guys.", she greeted after freeing herself from him, "Were you two carpooling today?"
"Of course.", Rotxo said with a proud nod, "Saving the environment one drive at a time."
"That's great!", Kiri smiled, a somewhat fond expression on her face as she looked at him.
She tugged her cardigan closer around her body, struggling to hold all of her books in her arms. Rotxo noticed that and immediately decided to carry them for her; of course.
"Shut up dude, I slept at your place last night and you were just too lazy to drive us."
"Hey, Ao'nung!", Tsireya wrapped him into a tight hug, "How's mom?"
"She's fine. She said you should text her when you leave with Lo'ak after school."
"Oh. Was she mad?"
Tsireya looked briefly scared for a moment; he shook his head and made a throwaway movement with his hand.
"No, not really. Everything's fine. Don't worry."
She let out a small sigh of relief.
"Okay..."
"Come on, let's go, it's pouring.", Kiri announced, and Ao'nung followed them inside, already feeling dread thinking about the first class he had today: Science. He almost failed that subject last year, and only managed to get a few better grades towards the end because Rotxo forced him to study until he had felt physically sick to his stomach. He remembered everything in horror, and something told him it wouldn't get any better this year, either.
He suppressed a groan when he walked into the classroom. The teacher was already there, writing something on the blackboard while his students poured in. Kiri said goodbye to Rotxo, who had English now, then she walked past his desk and sat down behind him. Ao'nung rolled his eyes. Before summer break, they'd actually gotten along quite well. But now she was kind of avoiding him, acting friendly but distant, just like the rest of her family; it had all started when they returned from their vacation. He wanted to turn around and ask what everyone's problem was all of a sudden, but stopped himself. He wasn't super smart, but not stupid either. He'd gotten the memo. For some reason, Neteyam had decided to cut ties with him, bringing his siblings to do the same. He still didn't understand what he had done wrong. But it was what it was.
Class started, and he focused on the teacher instead. He tried to follow the conversation, analyzing the answers the other students gave to certain questions, but eventually, he got lost. All that science stuff just wouldn't go inside his head. Usually, in moments like that, he'd ask Neteyam. Last year, they sat next to each other in Science class, and each time Ao'nung didn't understand something, he'd whisper his question to him. He'd always patiently explain it to him, each time. Now, the seat next to him was empty. Kiri was sitting alone as well; he subtly looked around, but her brother wasn't anywhere else in the room.
At some point, the teacher told them to write a summary of what they had learned last year, kind of as a freshening up. He reluctantly pulled his stuff out of his backpack, slapping his notebook on the desk, and slowly got to work, resting his chin on his hand.
"Psst."
Something suddenly poked his back; he turned around with furrowed brows. Kiri was looking at him apologetically, chewing on her pen.
"What is it?", he whispered, ignoring the teacher's brief, stern look. It was silent in the room now.
"Can I have a piece of paper?", she quietly asked, "Sorry, I forgot my notebook at home..."
"Oh. Sure."
Ao'nung turned around, ripping a page out – but suddenly, an idea struck him. Internally scolding himself for acting like a 12-year-old, he quickly scribbled something on the paper, then simply stretched his arm behind his back. He felt how Kiri took it, and then he heard her writing something down as well. A few minutes later, the tip of the paper poked him in the back again. He subtly grabbed it, hoping the teacher wouldn't notice; but luckily, he was staring at the computer on his desk, his thick glasses reflecting what's on the screen. With his heart beating faster for some reason, he read her response. Her handwriting was neat, almost perfect, unlike his own.
Where's Neteyam? Did he switch classes?
He's at home. Can I get another piece of paper, please...?
That was less than he expected. He remembered that one moment in the cafeteria and in the swim hall, when Neteyam had looked strangely sick. He ripped out another page from his notebook.
Is he alright? He looked sick yesterday.
He passed both papers to Kiri. Her response was pretty quick, surprisingly.
Thank you.
It's complicated. But he's okay. He just won't be coming to school regularly. He'll be back full time in a few months.
Ao'nung furrowed his brows. That didn't really sound like he was okay. He quietly sighed and wished he would just drop it; but for some reason, he couldn't.
He'll miss a lot of classes...
I know. Don't worry. He just needs some time to himself.
He's been acting weird. Did something happen when your family was on vacation?
"Ahem."
He cursed under his breath when the teacher gave them both a foul look. Ao'nung quickly folded the paper and stuffed it in his backpack before that guy would get the idea of reading what's on it to the entire class. Their communication had been put on ice for the rest of the class; when Kiri walked out of the room afterwards, he followed her until they were awkwardly walking next to each other through the loud, crammed hall.
"What's up?", she asked when they were standing next to her locker.
Her usual, slightly judgmental look suddenly made him question why he had followed her in the first place. It wasn't like they had any unfinished business, not really; he asked, she answered. That was all.
"Can you explain to me what's going on?"
Kiri bit her lip, and he wanted to facepalm himself. What a great conversation starter. That really wasn't the first thing he wanted to say right away; and he didn't want it to sound so pathetic, either.
"You know what, sorry, forget about it.", he quickly added, shaking his head, "I'll be on my way."
"No, wait! Ao'nung-", Kiri grabbed him by the arm, "I- as I told you earlier, it's complicated. Can we talk at lunch? Meet me outside at the basketball field."
"Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure...I'll be there."
"Great.", Kiri gave him a faint smile as she released his arm, "I have to get to English now. Later."
"Later..."
The sun was beaming down on the basketball field. The weather had switched throughout the morning, and now it was almost a bit too warm. Lo'ak's team was practicing, and of course, Tsireya was watching and eagerly cheering him on when Ao'nung sat down next to her on the podium. Lo'ak grinned at her before throwing the ball and dunking it into the hoop with pure finesse. His teammates patted him on the back. Ao'nung didn't really like him; but he had some mad skills. He couldn't say anything against that.
Tsireya's hair fluttered into his face and she laughed at him, apart from that, she was focused on her boyfriend.
"Isn't he amazing? He should totally be captain, don't you think?", she said with a loving smile on her face.
Ao'nung shrugged.
"Reya, I really don't care."
"Oh, come on. Will you two stop it with your stupid rivalry? He's talented. Admit it."
She grabbed and shook him playfully, and he rolled his eyes, sighing.
"Yeah, fine. Alright. He's good.", he said begrudgingly.
Tsireya giggled.
"Oh my god, you admitted it! I can't believe it! I'm so going to tell him that you said that."
"Please don't."
"Yes, I will! You two finally need to get along."
"I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon. At least not in this lifetime."
"Pleaase, Ao'nung? Be nice to him. I know Lo'ak's acting all tough, but he really wanted to be your friend. Until you bullied him out of the swim team. Which I still hate you for, by the way."
"...Whatever. He was bad. Look at him now, he's basically the coach's pet. I did him a favor."
She scoffed and shook her head.
"Dick."
"What? I was just being honest."
"Why are you here anyways? Did you miss your little sister?"
"You wish, you little rat. No, I'm waiting for Kiri, actually."
He looked across the field, squinting his eyes. Some people were walking out of the school, using their jackets to sit down on the still slightly wet grass, but Kiri wasn't one of them.
"She told me to meet her here. Did you see her?"
"No...do you have a Science project together?"
"Not really. I wanted to talk to her."
He glanced down on his hands folded on his lap, suddenly feeling strangely naked.
"...About Neteyam."
"Oh."
Tsireya put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. He tried to ignore how it felt gross and comforting at the same time.
"Ao'nung, I promise you, I don't know what's going on, either."
"That's somehow hard to believe. Lo'ak tells you everything."
"Yeah, he does. Except for this. I tried to squash it out of him, but he won't give in. It must be serious. Back in July, he was pretty confused and out of it for a while. I was really worried...I started to think that maybe something happened in his family, and they just need space. That's all."
"Yeah, but-"
"Ao'nung!"
Kiri's voice interrupted their conversation. She was suddenly standing at the bottom of the podium, looking up to them with one hand shielding her eyes from the sun.
"Oh, hey. I gotta go, Reya."
"Hey, Kiri!"
"Hey, Tsireya! See you after school?"
"You bet!"
It irked him more than it should; that his sister still got to be friends with everyone, she was still allowed to visit Lo'ak, while he was turned into an outcast. He rolled his eyes at his own embarrassing thoughts and hopped down through the seating rows until he was on her level.
"Thanks.", he awkwardly said, rubbing his neck, "For meeting me, I mean."
"No problem."
They walked behind the podium and sat on a dry patch on the ground. Kiri dropped her backpack down with a huff. Ao'nung felt strangely nervous and started tearing out some of the grass with his fingers. In reality, he was probably just here to get brushed off again, like it initially happened in July. Still, he at least wanted to know why. Closure was a ridiculous thing, wasn't it.
"So, again.", he began, and suddenly the words just poured out of him.
"What's going on? Neteyam won't talk to me, he didn't all summer break long. I was at your place more than once, and your mom and dad would just send me away each time. Why? Is he pissed at me? Is he sick or something?"
Kiri put her water bottle down and sighed wetly. She slowly shook her head.
"Look. I'm really sorry about that.", she said.
"And I'm sorry I didn't respond to your messages sometimes. I know this whole situation sucked. It really did. And it still does...and I can't tell you everything."
She shrugged apologetically, absently picking at her nails.
"It's kinda private..."
"Fine by me. I just want to know why he ditched me all of a sudden."
"I understand you're worried, but-"
"I'm not worried. It's whatever."
Kiri deadpanned him.
"What?"
"Come on. You two used to be super close friends. I doubt you don't worry about him at all."
Ao'nung quietly groaned and threw some of the ripped-out grass at her. She mimicked him and some green blades hit his face.
"Yeah, used to."
"Neteyam is...he is going through a tough...situation right now. He's doing better, but he still needs time to himself."
"Oh, and why didn't he just tell me that? He blocked me everywhere, he didn't respond to my texts and calls, and yesterday in the swim hall he just completely ignored me, even though I was right there in the pool with Rotxo."
"He was...kind of in a dark place.", Kiri sighed, "Please, don't take it personally."
"You keep saying that, but I still don't get it."
"Ao'nung...just try to accept that for the time being, my brother needs space."
"You said he was in a dark place. I could've been there for him somehow. Why didn't he tell me he needed help?"
Kiri sighed again.
"You know how he gets sometimes...and it really, really wasn't an easy thing. For any of us."
Ao'nung bit his lip. His bruise still hurt, but he absently kept chewing on it out of habit.
"What happened when you guys went on vacation? It all started there."
She briskly shook her head.
"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Look, if you really want to know, you should ask Neteyam. Maybe not right now, but later. When he comes back from-"
She stopped herself, furrowing her brows.
"When he's back in school."
He scoffed.
"And when will that be?"
"...In three months, approximately."
"Three months? Is he going on a cruise or something?"
A humorless laugh escaped her mouth.
"Unfortunately not. Hey, I have to go now. I'm meeting some friends and I still need to grab lunch. See you later, alright?"
"...Sure."
Kiri waved and stepped out into the light, leaving him in the shadow. He shivered a bit; without the sun and just the breeze, it was colder than expected. He walked back up to Tsireya, who was still watching Lo'ak play.
"And? How did it go?", she eagerly asked him, and faltered a bit when he just shrugged, giving her a blank stare.
"Kiri said he'll be gone for three months."
She raised her brows.
"Wait. Really?"
"Yeah. I don't know where he's going or why, though."
"Maybe he's trying out for college or something?"
"...Hm. Maybe."
Tsireya sighed and squeezed his arm comfortingly, searching his glance. He just brushed her off and shook his head.
"It's whatever, Reya. I'm fine."
"You look sad."
"I'm not."
"Oh please, don't be like that..."
"No, really. It's cool. I'm heading to the cafeteria. You coming?"
"I have cheerleading practice in 20 minutes. I'll eat later."
"Right. Do you need a ride home after school?"
"No, I'll probably go to Lo'ak's place again."
"Text mom this time."
"I will...and Ao'nung?"
He glanced at her over his shoulder.
"What is it?"
She gave him a small, encouraging smile.
"I can pass on a message to Neteyam, if you want."
Ao'nung shrugged, making a throwaway movement with his hand.
"No, thanks."
_____________
The school looked even more uninviting in the dark when he pulled up in the parking lot. He heard his footsteps echo through the long, dark hallway as he walked to the swim hall, the sound of the key dangling in his hand accompanied him. Thankfully, the coach had been nice enough to give him the spare one a few years ago, so he could practice at night if he needed to. Ao'nung didn't know if the coach did that because he believed in him, or because he had grown suspicious of the bruises he'd seen on him throughout the time. He kind of hoped it wasn't the latter.
"But don't tell anyone about this. Okay?", he had said, shoving a finger in his face, "Or else they'll fire my ass."
Nevertheless, he didn't complain. It was better than using the public swimming pool; there were no children running around screaming, or old people who moved so slowly through the water, it looked like they had died. He could just do his training in peace, away from everyone else.
He pushed the entrance door open with a small grunt – and furrowed his brows when he noticed that the light was still on in the pool area. The locker room itself was dark, but a small beam of light traveled across the dry, cold tile floor, stopping at his right shoulder; the door leading inside the hall was cracked open. He was 90 percent sure it was just the coach. He probably forgot something, or was working on another training program; it wasn't the first time he'd met him here, hours after school was over. Ao'nung threw his duffle back on the bench, quickly pushed his shoes and socks off, then walked inside the pool area to greet him.
"Coach?", he called, looking around; his brain wasn't prepared to stumble upon anyone else but him – so he got whiplash when he saw Neteyam in the water.
He was resting at the left edge of the pool, arms crossed, his head nestled on top. His eyes were closed, while his body was floating in the water and he had earplugs in, connected to his phone. He hadn't noticed yet that he wasn't alone anymore.
So that's what coach had talked to him about yesterday. Neteyam wasn't trying out for the swim team; he got himself the same key privileges Ao'nung had.
He immediately noticed his body tensing, and how his good mood was blown away like a dirty paper towel gliding across the floor, pushed around by the wind. He threw his head back and quietly sighed, exasperated, before carefully retreating back to the locker room. He contemplated whether or not he should stay, pacing around and chewing on his lip (it still hurt) while shooting Rotxo a quick text.
Dude, I'm at school
guess who tf is here
Hey :-))
Who???
Neteyam
What?! Are you serious rn
Yeah I think coach gave him the key
He's in the pool
Damn you're no longer his favorite no more
Shut the fuck up what am I supposed to do??
Drown him
lmao
sorry that was mean...
I'm serious
I wanted to practice but I guess I can forget about that now
Why did the coach give him the key in the first place???
Sorry that happened dude you can come over to my place if u want
Idk
Nah dude I'm already here....should I just go in and ignore him?
You know what yeah do that!!
Maybe it will piss him off and he'll leave >:-)
Fine
I'll text you later
Cool
Ao'nung let out a sigh and threw his phone on the bench, quickly changing into his swimming trunks and taking a cold shower before returning to the hall. Neteyam was still there, and hadn't moved an inch, it seemed; luckily, he preferred the right side of the pool anyway. He quietly dipped in, more focused on not drawing any attention to himself than actually practicing his form. He did a couple leaps, the movement distracted him for a while; but when he took a break he noticed Neteyam looking at him from the other side of the pool. He was sitting on the edge now, legs still in the water, and he was scrolling through his phone with a towel around his neck. Their eyes met briefly, then he lowered his head again.
Out of instinct or curiosity, Ao'nung wasn't exactly sure, he swam over to him. The logical part of his brain asked him what the heck he was doing; he wasn't able to answer question. For some reason, he just couldn't help himself.
"Hey.", he murmured, running a hand across his face to wipe the wetness away.
Neteyam looked up from his phone and gave him a small nod. This was the first time they officially met each other since summer break. It felt weird, and he tried to ignore the uneasiness quietly settling in his stomach.
"Hey."
"...Why are you here?", Ao'nung quickly asked to push the awkwardness away. It didn't work.
"Did the coach give you the key?"
"Oh. Yeah."
Neteyam absently toyed with one of his earplugs, not looking at him. His hair was wet and hung in front of his eyes, hiding part of his face.
"Um, just like he did with you, I guess..."
"Yeah."
Ao'nung leaned his arms on the edge of the pool, with enough safety distance between them, and mustered him briefly; he still looked strangely sick and tired, and there were dark bags under his eyes. Worry automatically took over his chest, but he refrained from saying anything about it.
"You're pretty fast.", Neteyam finally commented after a short while of silence, wrapping his phone in the towel and putting it away so the water couldn't reach it.
"Did you get better over summer break?"
"...Thanks. I guess so. I trained a lot with Rotxo. He basically whipped me through the coach's training program."
Neteyam nodded slowly.
"Seems to have paid off."
"...Yup. It sure did."
Ao'nung couldn't remember the last time he had felt so ridiculous and awkward. The whole scene was so bizarre; back in May, they still had been close friends, spending almost every waking moment together. Now, it felt like he was talking to a random stranger he'd just met. For some reason, Neteyam had changed, and he just didn't understand why. Before the summer, Ao'nung would've never expected him to ever sit alone in the cafeteria, staring out the window like some sort of weird loner who didn't have any friends; Neteyam had always been a bit different, but never an outcast. And he used to be so open, and kind, and full of life – all of that seemed to have just...faded away.
"So...what did you do on summer break?", Ao'nung asked, an attempt to distract him from his own thoughts.
He noticed how he suddenly didn't care much about his training anymore, which should bother him more than it did. Neteyam shrugged, appearing tense. He pulled a leg close to his chest, like he was about to get up and leave.
"It was fine.", he quietly answered, not elaborating. He didn't seem to be in a very talkative mood.
Ao'nung just briefly raised his brows; another blow to his stomach. Well, that was on him for getting his hopes up.
"Cool."
"Yeah...listen, I gotta go."
Neteyam quickly stood up, grabbing his phone still wrapped in the towel, and disappeared into the locker room. He didn't say goodbye. Ao'nung heard shuffling, and a couple of minutes later the entrance door to the swim hall fell shut, the sound echoing through to him. The water quietly sloshed against the edges of the pool. He was finally alone; and he'd never felt so shitty about it before.
Briefly, he still remembered that moment from time to time, for the next couple of weeks. However, it slowly faded away, like brittle paint, disappearing into the back of his mind. He couldn't even properly reconstruct their conversation anymore at some point.
The days passed by, the weather grew colder.
Sometimes, when he was in the swim hall at night, he felt strangely lonely.
________________________________
Word count:9871
This is my cousins friend story btw! I got permission from them to repost it!
This is the playlist for their story if you would like to listen while reading!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqi6ZCDx3-M&list=PLjWo3wvwLZ_gl9Na6oha9dODgq1SCkbPt
This took so long to rewrite 😭 I didn't copy and paste it because I knew I had to edit it with the italic font and the bold font. I've been (re)writing this for the longest time LMAO so this is why I haven't posted on my other story, but chapter 2 for this story will be out soon, maybe today or tomorrow, depends tbh! I will be working on my story right now, it's 'Awa'altu Highschool: Human Au!' if you haven't read it, it's totally different from this, but if you would like to read, then you can read!