Evan's heart jittered as he walked through the familiar halls of Templeton Secondary School. Today was the day—the day he had resolved to confess his feelings to Suki. He couldn't quell the rush of anxiety surging within him, making it difficult to focus on anything else.
As he approached his locker, Evan attempted to hide the turmoil he felt inside. His fingers trembled as he fumbled to unlock the locker and retrieve his textbooks for the morning classes. He hoped against hope that Suki wouldn't arrive early, giving him some much-needed time to gather the courage for the impending confession. Avoiding her until then seemed like the best course of action, at least for the morning.
Thankfully, luck was on Evan's side as Suki didn't appear. This stroke of fortune granted him a precious window of opportunity to muster the necessary resolve. He knew he needed the entire morning to calm down and collect himself.
While initially, he bemoaned the fact that he could not share any classes with Suki this year, for once he actually felt grateful that they didn't attend the same classes. It was ironic to him; he had a massive crush on her, and he longed to see her, but at the same time, he dreaded it because he couldn't contain his emotions. It was all too much for him—the blistering intensity of these unfamiliar feelings he had never experienced before. It was all new, uncharted territory, and that alone made Evan afraid.
During the morning classes, Evan couldn't focus. He merely half-listened to the droning lessons of his teachers, but what truly consumed him was the clock on the wall. Every agonizing second, every excruciating minute, seemed to crawl by. He internalized each tick and tock, the sound echoing within him, amplifying his restlessness.
At times, the wait felt too short, teasingly brief. Yet, at others, it stretched torturously long, testing his patience. He oscillated between these states of impatience and patience until finally, the lunch bell rang, and he was granted the freedom to leave.
Evan walked to the cafeteria at an intentionally slow pace, fully aware that Suki would likely be there. Other students hurried past him, eager to find a spot to eat—some settling on the floor in groups in the hallways near their lockers, while others gathered in cliques around tables in the cafeteria, and a few opted to sit outside and enjoy the warm weather. In contrast, Evan moved at a snail's pace, his gaze fixed on his shoes, and his thumbs twiddling nervously.
Evan paused at the cafeteria door, peering through the window for a glimpse inside. There, he saw Suki, comfortably seated among her group of friends, engrossed in their conversations. His hand trembled slightly as he mustered the courage to open the door. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he stepped inside, adopting what he hoped was a confident stride, and made a beeline straight for Suki.
As Evan drew closer to Suki and her group of friends, the sound of their laughter and animated conversation gradually reached his ears. They seemed to be discussing something lighthearted and amusing, like finding the Norse gods handsome, with someone playfully calling Thor a total "himbo"—a notion that elicited a suppressed chuckle from Evan. He noticed one of Suki's friends passing around a photo of shirtless gods, admiring their chiseled six-pack abs and jokingly remarking that some of the gods seemed to have a whole bakery behind them. Despite the humour, Evan's focus shifted away from eavesdropping, as their playful banter held little significance to him in that moment. His attention was solely fixed on his target—Suki—and with determined steps, he approached her from behind.
Evan's heart lurched with excitement and nervous anticipation as he mustered the courage to speak to her. With a hand trembling slightly, he placed it gently on her shoulder, feeling the flutter of butterflies in his stomach. "Suki?" he called out softly.
Suki turned around, and Evan found himself captivated by her dark eyes and long lashes that danced like delicate tendrils in a gentle breeze. "Hey, Evan," she replied, her voice as light as a wind through a meadow, always carrying an air of delicateness.
Taking a deep breath, Evan gathered his resolve. "Can we meet after school? I'd like to tell you something," he said, hinting at the stairwell—a spot they both knew well.
"Sure," Suki agreed, and with that simple word, the first step was taken. The plan was set in motion, and like a small snowball gradually becoming an avalanche, the confession was now an inevitability.
"All right. I'll see you then," Evan replied, trying to hide the thrill of anticipation in his voice. Turning away from Suki and her friends, he left the cafeteria with a nervous smile, their voices growing more distant as he stepped through the cafeteria doors.
∗ ∗ ∗
Evan stood at the bottom of the stairwell, a familiar meeting spot for him and Suki. Gazing out the entrance/exit doors of the school, he observed the sea of students pouring out after the day's classes. Among them, he noticed happy groups of friends, sharing laughter and camaraderie. His eyes then fell upon the couples, entwined hands and hearts united in their journey together, and a pang of jealousy washed over him. He longed to experience that same connection and affection. Filled with hope and nervous anticipation, Evan hoped his confession would pave the way for a successful relationship.
He hadn't just jumped off any building; it was the tallest skyscraper in all of Vancouver. The daring stunt had been executed side by side with Suki, and the adrenaline rush left them feeling like outlaws after a successful bank heist. Their escapade led them through the infamous Downtown Eastside, notorious for its rough and impoverished conditions, and perhaps the neighbourhood with the worst reputation in the whole country, where they navigated past homeless individuals and drug addicts, determined to reach Grandview–Woodland.
Since jumping off the Living Shangri-La, over the past month Evan and Suki had been pursuing their thrilling hobby of rooftopping. Weekends became their time to explore various skyscrapers that piqued their interest, revelling in the breathtaking views of the city from these high vantage points. During their adventures, they captured unforgettable moments with daring photos of Suki, precariously hanging off the edges of skyscrapers, supported only by her fingertips or attached to the roof with her web.
Why was he so terrified of making a simple confession when there was no real danger? He had already taken a daring leap of faith, entrusting Suki with his life as they fearlessly leaped off rooftops together. If he could place his life in her hands, he ought to have the courage to reveal the truth of his feelings and entrust Suki with his heart as well.
The school stood emptied of students, leaving only a few staff members, occasional teachers, and janitors with their huge mops, who roamed the quiet hallways. Evan couldn't help but notice how the absence of bustling student activity had transformed the school into a forlorn and lonely place. The once lively choruses of laughter and voices were replaced with an eerie silence, broken only by the occasional sound of footsteps and the diligent work of the custodians.
Evan heard the doors to the stairwell opening; Suki had arrived. "Sorry for keeping you waiting. I had to go to the washroom for a while," she explained.
Evan's eyes met with Suki's, and he felt a rush of warmth flooding his cheeks. Swiftly, he turned away, pretending to be intrigued by the view outside the window. His gaze fell upon the parking lot, where raindrops created delicate ripples on the puddles. The rain had arrived, and as Evan raised his eyes to the sky, he noticed dark masses of clouds gathering ominously.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mustering the courage to bare his feelings and confront the truth. Slowly, Evan turned around, summoning his inner determination. But as he faced Suki's questioning gaze, his voice betrayed him, stammering, "Suki, I-I have something to say to you."
Suki remained silent, her eyes locked onto Evan's, waiting patiently for him to find the words.
"Suki...I... I... like you. Romantically. I see you as more than just a friend," Evan finally managed to say, his heart pounding like a bass drum in his ears.
He let out a sigh, and in that moment, everything hung in the balance. The weight of his revelation filled the space between them, and Evan wondered how Suki would respond.
Evan awaited her response, but all she managed was a barely audible, "Oh..." That wasn't a good sign. Suki's eyes darted in confusion, leaving Evan feeling dismayed as the seconds stretched into what felt like an eternity.
Finally, Suki mustered the courage to face Evan directly and gently said, "I'm sorry. I only see you as a friend."
Evan's heart sank as he quickly whipped around to face the window, trying to hide his disappointment. He stared out at the rain pouring down, and in the distance, a lightning bolt flashed, followed by the rumble of thunder. The rain had intensified, its rhythmic beat hammering against the window. The once delicate ripples on the parking lot puddles had turned aggressive, mirroring the turmoil in Evan's heart.
"I understand if that's how you feel, Suki," Evan managed to say, though he left out the fact that he didn't truly understand. He had thought, even assumed, that Suki shared his feelings, especially after the harrowing experiences they had shared in moments of danger. He felt betrayed.
"I'm gonna go home," Evan said through gritted teeth, his frustration evident.
As Evan pushed the door open to the rainy parking lot, Suki called out, "Wait! You'll get wet." She quickly fished out an umbrella from her backpack and offered it to him.
He felt a twinge of insult at Suki's offer of help. Evan considered lashing out and shouting, "I don't want your help!" but he held back, reminding himself that he cared about her too much to be rude. "No, I'll be fine," he managed to say, trying to keep his tone steady despite the turmoil inside.
"Okay," Suki replied softly. Evan gazed into her dark, pretty eyes, sensing a tinge of sadness within them.
He pushed the door open and stepped outside into the pouring rain, immediately getting soaked. Evan stood amidst the downpour, his gaze fixed on the dark sky with brooding storm clouds. He watched as lightning danced across the heavens, followed by the rumbling of thunder. "So that's what it feels like..." he whispered to himself, feeling a mix of awe and melancholy.
As tears welled up in his eyes, he felt grateful for the rain; at least Suki wouldn't be able to see him crying amid the torrential downpour, the tears blending seamlessly with the raindrops cascading down his cheeks.
He turned his gaze back to the school, and in the distance, through the window where raindrops trickled like beads of quicksilver, he spotted Suki standing by the small door near the stairwell. The sight tugged at his heart, and he couldn't help but wonder about her emotions after turning him down. How did her expression look now? What was she feeling in that moment?
Evan smiled bitterly, his heart heavy with the weight of unrequited love, and turned away from Suki, heading home through the relentless rain. The downpour made his hair cling to his skin, concealing his eyes from view as he walked with a heaviness in his steps, his gaze fixed on the rain-soaked parking lot with its puddles mirroring the brooding sky above.
Having taken a courageous leap of faith, Evan now confronted the harsh reality that life must move forward, even if his love for Suki was not meant to be.
∗ ∗ ∗
Author's Note 2023–07-26
Wow, that's probably the best thing I've ever written, although I cheated a bit. This is the part where I thank the people who supported me, so I'd like to thank AI for being my editor, without you I wouldn't be able to cook prose this tight.