SONG: Ariana Grande - Breathin'
~"Family isn't always blood, it's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you, for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what."
•~••~•
My head felt fuzzy and dizzy. Confused and unsettled with so many emotions that swirled inside of me and I felt like I was going to faint, or spew for that matter. Maybe even scream my lungs out.
"How?" Was all I could stumble out, holding back the sob that trird to escape. My head shook in confusion, I took a couple steps back. Trying to analyse the situation better.
I don't know what to do. My world has been turned upside down, again.
The woman in front of me with tears running down her red cheeks, was a mother. A mother that I thought was dead for the past 2 years...
My mother. Dana Thomasan.
Legs wobbling like jelly, I swore I felt my self collapse to my knees, but in reality I simply leant against a table. Quickly, Dana ran to me and engulfed me in a tight hug. Afraid to let go.
"I am so sorry" Dana sobbed into my shirt with much heartbreak. I was still in disbelief. Something just wasn't...right. "I thought you were dead!"
My heart sank at those words, Guilt and Sadness drowning me. Why now? Why didn't she search for me? Did she even check? I was in the system.
I slowly got back to my feet without the help of a table and finally took a few steps away from her. Breaking the hug. "How did you survive?" I asked again, but this time more clearly. "You were at home with dad and the twins."
I just couldn't get my head wrapped around it. It was impossible for anyone to escape that blast. I knew that, because I felt the pressure of the bomb when I got hit by the wave of gravity. I knew because I witnessed everything.
"I fell out of a window. The house filled with smoke, it was lit up in flames in seconds by a tree." I forze at that explanation, instantly knowing a Decepticon had done the damage. Not a tree.
That's a cover story the Government would have supplied her with. "A tree?" I pointed out bitterly, making her nod while drying her tears.
William noticed the sudden coldness and frowned. Obviously thinking back to what Dana had said, realisation suddenly hit William when he pieced it all together.
That...she wasn't even there.
"I couldn't get back inside" Dana continued to tell me while sniffling.
I looked at her with outrage. that didn't happen."no...I would of saw you!" I blurted out while William tried to calm me down by symbolysing with a slicing motion of his hand. It didn't work.
Glaring at Dana, I continued. "I witnessed the house being blown apart by an alien being!"
"I-I", she stumbled at her words, as she seemed to not be able to say anything. As if she already knew that.
"You weren't even there!" I ranted on at her in fury, easily catching her lies. So many lies. "where were you!?"
"At a bouquet shop" Dana whispered out the admittion quietly. "-The one that was on the Corner of our street."
"You were less than a minute away from them... and you didn't go after them!" I yell at her in anger, eyes watering. Damn it, why do I always cry when I am just angry!
"Hazel...calm down...ok." Nathan started but shutted up when I sent him a death glare. I was not in the mood.
"I was going to-"
"-but you didn't! I was on the other side of that damn city! THE OTHER SIDE' and I ran, and ran. To get to dad, to the twins, to YOU!." I yell louder and louder, by the end I was pretty much screaming.
William looked up at me with sad brown eyes and advanced towards me worriedly. Wanting the situation to halt. My body shooked furiously in anger as he did so.
Epps quietly mumbles. 'This ain't good'. Under his breath.
My mum goes to say something, but I continue after catching my breath. "-and I witnessed their deaths. I heard their screams Ma!" I cut myself off with a sob.
"Hazel calm down. You're going to have another attack." Ratchets voice boomed the room, but it didn't startle my mum as she just stared at me.
"What do we do...she's crying..." Jazz whispered lowly, before getting hit in the side by Ironhides door in return.
"shut up Jazz! That doesn't help." Ironhide hissed towards Jazz making him whine about his paint job.
My mum looked at me with wide eyes that seemed to leak fresh tears, she covered her mouth, before going to hug me. I stopped it instantly. "Don't you dare touch me."
"We should do something..." Aneska whispered as she watched me and my so called mother fight.
"you have no idea!, what I have been through the last two god damn years." I hissed at her, before turning around in frustration to kick over a random box in anger.
"Hazel...please. I love you-" I cut her off.
"Do you?" I questioned bitterly. " I was stuck in a damn adoption centre...and-and You've been alive for the past two years! You didn't even bother looking for me!"
"Please, believe me. I didn't mean to run away, I was scared and I tried my hardest to fix things...but then..." Dana trailed off her sentence, failing to find reasoning to her own actions.
"Then you started a new life. Without me." I finished for her instead.
"Hazel...come on...you need to calm down" William told me softly with calm eyes. I slowly nodded and gave up the argument that was going no where, my amber eyes drifted down to the floor.
"You didn't try hard enough." I whispered quietly and went to walk to William, for Dana to grab my wrist forcing me to face her again.
"Don't you dare walk away from me! I am your mother for crying out loud!" She screamed at me in frustration, anger in her eyes that shot towards William. I snarled back.
"No, you're a coward" My voice wobbled at the word, but I kept my head high. I looked at her through the tears. "I have a gained a new family-that-that love me...even with all my issues Ma. No one is going to take that away from me...not even you."
"Take Ms Thomasan away please guards" William ordered the men at the Base doors. Whom instantly listened and advanced onto Dana who was just as angry now. "We don't want another heated discussion to fire up...especially not in the middle of my base."
My mum yelled in frustration towards me, while she was dragged out of the military base. Something dark blossomed in my mothers eyes at that moment, dark brown eyes seeming inky black. Hatred. Anger. "This isn't fair, I will get my daughter back! One way or another! You hear me Lennox!"
Soon her screams became faint and I sighed looking away in shame. Embarrassed that I had blown up infront of everyone. How embarrassing, I could never show my face again here.
William comforted me with a hug. Soon Aneska, Epps and Nathan joined the now group hug. I couldn't help but burst into silent tears at such...comfort.
Ironhide transformed suddenly and kneeled before us. Making the others scatter backwards. Holding out his servo, a silent offer. Hop on?
I instantly jumped onto his large metal servo with much relief. Ironhide stood his full height and headed to our area.
"Hazel." Ironhide spoke up. "Yeah?" I sniffled to whipe my nose. I furiously tried to hide the tears that leaked my eyes. Ashamed and utterly embarrassed.
"Don't be afraid to cry" Ironhide said calmly while exiting the back of the base. The mech sat down in the now longer grass, that would soon need to be mowed again for training.
I looked up at him. "why? It's a sign if weakness and totally embarrassing by the way."
Ironhide looked down at me at that. Electric blue optics shining brightly, he tilted his helm in thought. "Crying is the strongest you can become, when proud of it, instead of ashamed" Ironhide paused. "You cannot grow, unless you shed away the old pieces of you that were long gone."
"I just, I can't believe out of all people... my mum turned her back on my family" I muttered quietly. "She was...we were...so close and she left me in that rotten place for so long."
"Time changes people and so do scenarios. How do you expect to become a better person, if you rely on everyone else to be good to you. People can be nasty. That is a fact." Ironhide told me simply and bluntly. Making me wince and nod.
"I know that..., but it isn't fair Ironhide." I say before sighing. "We-I never asked for this. I never got a choice or a say...in anything."
"-and you think I did?" I jerked at the mechs sentence, it was like a splash of cold water hitting me. Self loathing ending instantly.
"My world was torn away from me. Literally. I have lost everything because of other beings anger and hatred. Don't...Don't make the same mistakes we did Hazel. I lost everyone because of anger. I lost myself during it all, because I allowed anger to control my being." Ironhide vented loudly at this, looking away with deep sorrow.
"You got Optimus, Ratchet... Jazz, Bumblebee, the twins, Arcee-" Ironhide cutted me off instantly. Halting my list.
"I got them because that's all we have. Do you not understand? We are all we have." Ironhide stated seriously. "If my planet was still alive and if the war never had happened, the only two I would have as friends would be Optimus and Ratchet."
Ironhide did a mechanical sigh. Changing the topic. "We all struggle with turning our own ideas into reality....just don't fall with them still in your head, like so so many of my friends have." Ironhide pointed a digit at me.
"I won't." I promised, before halting.
"Ironhide"
"What?"
"I'm...a Lennox right?" I look up at him with questioning eyes. Uncertain on where I belong now. Who I am.
"Kid, you were a Lennox since the second we met you. I told you...there is something about ya" Ironhide did a small chuckle.
"You mean that?" I double check. Doubt in my eyes.
"I wouldn't say, it if I didn't mean it" Ironhide rolled his optics at me, but there was amusment there.
"Don't get grumpy Ironhide" I tease, smiling happily at the talk we had. A relieving feeling exploded around my aura.
"I'll show you grumpy when I squish you" Ironhide threatened me playfully.
"Softhide"
"Idiotic being"