I had an epiphany in my sleep. I suspected my grandfather had somehow visited my dreams, forcing a confidence in myself, but I didn't care. I remained highly embarrassed and fearful of my future approach, but I decided that I would do whatever it took to complete what I was sent revived to do. I didn't like to lose, and in the end, if I managed to help Lexi, the humiliation would be worth it.
Despite my newfound confidence, I convinced my granddad to take it easy on me. I requested that he not make a big deal of my avoidance of Lexi that day. I needed a day to recuperate; to let time erase the embarrassing event.
It was rather difficult to forget my small misfortune, when the large bruise on my face received many curious stares and immediate attention from my newest friend.
"What happened to your face?" Conrad asked nonchalantly, not thinking much of the injury.
"Not important." I was too eager to brush off the matter. My lack of interest and instant dismissal of the subject only increased Conrad's curiosity. As if knowing the story was an embarrassing one, Conrad smirked. His eyes bore into my soul, commanding me to continue. I probably could have handled the situation without revealing my previous day's misfortune, if not for Lexi's horrible timing of arrival. Walking past us, Lexi paid little attention to her surroundings. She didn't notice us. I, on the other hand, paid her great attention, blushing as my gaze involuntarily tracked her down the hall.
"Oh no," Conrad laughed, coming to the correct conclusion that whatever was bothering me involved Lexi.
"I have painfully embarrassed myself," I admitted sullenly. "And I would really appreciate not having to explain myself."
It seemed Conrad didn't care what I preferred. He remained highly amused and curious of the situation. "She didn't hit you, did she?"
"No. This is a direct result of my own clumsiness."
"I didn't take you for the clumsy kind."
"I'm not," I answered, dismally. "I don't trip on my feet or on my words. I never blush or panic... I don't even know her, but she so much as looks at me and my composure crumbles."
Conrad threw his head back in laughter, earning many passing student's attention. I nudged him lightly, hoping to shut him up. I didn't need this getting back to Lexi; that would only worsen my already poor first impression. Enthusiastically denying his offer to help me with Lexi, I walked to class with Conrad's friend group. Despite my complaints, his teasing admittedly made me feel better. It made me realize that grandpa may have been right, and that I had been a little melodramatic last night.
The other boys were as opinionated as Conrad,. They even tried to convince me that Lexi may not be straight. Though I deemed their argument that she had never had a boyfriend invalid as she had also never had a girlfriend, their beliefs lead me to conclude that my soulmate could just be a friend. Grandpa had told me that I was destined to meet Lexi. Destined to help her; not necessarily to love, or be loved by her. I thought it was quite obvious what Lexi may require assistance with and I was convinced that I could achieve it by simply creating a friendship. Of course, given the opportunity to take things further, I wouldn't hesitate. But the idea of just being friends was a lot less pressure. Calmed to the point that I actually managed to take some notes, I didn't spend my entire classes fixated on Lexi.
I couldn't say the same for my last class of the day. Arriving early for once, I pulled out my Chemistry book, prepared to skim through the last class' reading. Though students piled through the room, I only looked up when Lexi walked in, immediately sensing her presence. Eyes just briefly flicking upwards, I made move to return them to my textbook but froze when I met her gaze. Expecting her to look away, I was surprised that she held it a few seconds longer than she usually would. Despite her flushed cheeks, she offered me a small smile. So much for getting ahead in my homework. I would be incapable of focusing on anything but her. Knowing better than to waste my time, I shut my book and bit my lip to hide a grin. Grandpa was right; I had been exaggerating. She smiled at me. I surmised that meant I hadn't completely ruined my chances. I was well aware that the greeting smile was likely her way of being polite, but there was something reassuring in the action, and I was suddenly hopeful. With fresh confidence, I returned home in a better humour than the previous day.
Practically skipping into the house, grandpa laughed the moment he spotted me. "I take it today went well."
"I had a great day," I agreed, taking a green apple from the fridge.
"I knew you'd figure something out." He smiled proudly. "She's quite sweet, isn't she?"
"That is the impression I'm getting, but I've not actually held a conversation with her yet."
"You didn't speak to her?"
"Nope. But she smiled at me today."
"She smiled at you?"
I nodded. "I'm taking it as a sign that she wasn't completely mortified. I've still got a shot."
Grandpa didn't share my enthusiasm; it took no genius to read the concern dancing behind hazel irises. "You don't have forever, Jaxson," he reminded. "You're going to have to do a lot more than just smile at her."
"I'm taking it slow."
"You're going slower than slow, and you've no time for that."
Ignoring the fact that he thought my approach slow, although I had only known Lexi for two days, I narrowed my eyes. My thoughts were stuck on a completely different subject. If grandpa was in a rush, there was a time limit to this offer. A short time limit by the looks of it.
"I think I've figured it out!" I proclaimed.
Grandpa cocked a curious brow.
"It's become clear that I'm not allowed to know the date and judging by the slight chill in the air I'd say it's September or October. I reckon this is a few months before my death and I have until then to act."
Grandpa's face remained expressionless, not a single twitch of emotion noted. I used to hold the talent of perfectly reading the man, but today hazel eyes revealed nothing, not even the slimmest of hints.
"I couldn't tell you if you were right or wrong. You know I can't tell you much."
"You didn't straight up ridicule the idea, so I'm taking that it means I'm right."
"I honestly don't know the answer."
I furrowed my brows again, still trying to determine if he was lying.
"What if—" I started, eyes glimmering in contemplation.
"Stop trying to change the subject."
"I'm n—"
"You are and your mind really needs to be elsewhere. You clearly have a lot of work to do."
"Not as much as—"
"Please just tell me you at least smiled back."
"Of course—" I started indignantly, voice cutting short as I stared off into space. Did I smile? My lips parted in horror.
"Jaxson," grandpa complained in a tone of clear disappointment.
"I... In my— In my defence I don't remember! But she didn't look up long enough to notice anyway."
Grandpa watched me blankly.
"Don't look at me like I'm hopeless," I implored. "You spent last night convincing me I would be alright. It's too late to change your mind. I'm working on it; you don't need to worry. And I'll continue to work on it once I finish my homework. Remember you said that was important? Just trust me."
"Alright," he gave in; heading towards the living room. "I trust you."
I lasted 10 minutes. I successfully completed 10 minutes of homework before needing help. Might be a record. I walked into the living room. "Where's the computer?"
"Computer?" Grandpa mumbled through a mouthful of chips. His eyes remained fixed on the baseball game on the screen before him.
"Are you really that old?"
"I know what a computer is," he retorted, my comment irritating him enough to tear his gaze away from the screen. "It just didn't cross my mind when I supplied the home."
I scratched my neck in thought. I still had so many questions about my current living situation. Could I go buy myself a laptop? What money would I use for any type of purchase? I had assumed the groceries would replenish themselves, but did I have to—
"I'll take care of it," grandpa reassured. "If you need a computer for homework, I will get you one. But for tonight you'll have to use the library."
"Library?"
"Are you really that young?"
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "My homework isn't that pressing. It can wait a day."
"You're already many weeks behind."
"So, what's another day?"
"Do yourself a favour and go."
"Why?" I frowned. "Why are you so insistent?"
"You need to find a book—"
"How do you even know about that?" I had in fact been working on an English assignment. I had a variety of critiques and essays to write on a novel of my choosing, but I hadn't uttered a word about it to him.
"Doesn't matter." He waved the matter off. "But you are in need of a book. The library has multiple and has computers on which you can start your research... Plus I reckon it'll be a good experience. Something new."
"The library? A good experience?" I retorted; nose scrunched upwards to show him how ridiculous I believed his idea. "Is this your way of fulfilling some odd bucket list before my permanent death? If so, I appreciate the consideration, but visiting a library isn't on my list. And believe it or not, I have been in one before."
"Not a public one," he argued.
"I'm sure they're not much different."
"You'll never know if you don't try."
I paused, delaying my response to study the old man. Grandpa had ulterior motives, that much was clear. But I couldn't figure out what they were.
"You really want me to leave?"
"Yes."
My brows furrowed again. "Do you need me to leave so you can do something important?"
"Your departure would be beneficial."
I sighed. Maybe he had angel duties to take care of. "Alright. I'll make myself scarce."
"To the library?"
"If it's that important to you, yes."
"Great!"
Still very confused, I watched my grandfather enthusiastically take a stand to write down the directions to the small building. Yellow sticky-note in hand and school bag on my back, I shut the home door, bewildered as grandpa practically ushered me out of the house.