The past few days have been hell.
Consecutive missions, incidents and trainings. Every day was hell for us. We couldn't even eat on time. Hindi na rin kami gaanong kumakain ng sabay nina Ace.
I rarely visits the mansion and my condo. Sobrang babad namin sa trabaho na hindi na namin halos alam ang salitang pahinga.
Team Bs' investigation is also done. Walang naman nakitang kahina-hinala sa kanila. Which I'm not so sure of. They can now work and go on missions.
I spent my days training ang staying in my room to rest. I didn't waste any time. I need to have time for myself.
"Nyx, kumain ka na?" bungad ni Ace.
Kalalabas ko lang ng kwarto at plano ko sanang pumunta sa cafeteria. It's lunch time. Hindi kasi ako kumain ng pang-agahan kanina kaya nakaramdam ako ng gutom ngayon.
"Pupunta pa lang ng cafeteria. Ikaw?" I asked.
"I was about to call you. Sabay na tayo. Nandon na sina Hunt."she said.
Oh. After few days, nagsama-sama rin kami. Tumango ako bilang pagsang-ayon. Ace then lead the way.
Lahat ng nadadaanan naming mga agents ay busy. Paper works here and there. Dahil sa sunod-sunod na insidente, naging mas mailap ang ahensiya sa mga misyon. They make sure everything is okay. The agents are also monitored every now and then. The agency is even more strict now.
Paliko na ako sa hallway papuntang cafeteria, ng bigla akong hinila ni Ace.
I gave her a confused look. Akala ko ba kakain?
"Hindi diyan. Sa labas tayo kakain. Hindi ka ba nauumay na palaging pagkain sa cafeteria ang kinakain mo?"
Hindi pa ako nakakasagot, hinila niya na ako palabas. Paglabas ng agency, nandon na ang apat na lalaki. I was shocked to see Rainela.
"Pinasama ni Hunt. Kinakawawa ng ibang agents eh." bulong ni ace habang papalapit kami.
"Hi Nyx. Long time no see." bati ni Yudis.
I smiled "Yeah. Nice seeing you again" kahit na kakikita lang namin kahapon.
We work in the same building, yet we rarely see each other. We talked for a bit. Tahimik lang si Hunt at Rainela sa gilid. It was awkward, alright.
"Let's go. Baka gutom na kayo. " anyaya ni Hunt sabay tingin sa akin.
"Okiii. Sa backseat ako. Rex tabi ka sakin." saad ni Yudis.
Sabay na pumasok sina Yudis at Rex sa backseat ng sasakyan ni Hunt. Red and Ace will be riding a different car. Maybe Red's car.
Hindi ko alam saan ako sasakay. I don't want to ride with Ace and Red because I'll look like a third wheel. Hell, I also don't want to fit myself in Hunt's car. Puno na iyon.
"Magmo-motor na lang ako." I said.
"No. You can ride with Ace and Red." Hunt paused, like he wanted to say something but stop himself. "Para hindi na hassle. It'll be safer that way." he added.
I just sighed and nodded before going to Red's car. I put my seatbelts on and looked outside the window. I crossed my arms and watched Hunt opening the door for Rainela. They look closed now. I just sighed and closed my eyes. The thought of seeing him with another girl makes me feel uncomfortable. Or maybe, I just got used to him, giving me special treatment before. Ako lang. Hindi naman ganito ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nakikita ko siya may kasama noon. Pero bakit kapag si Rainela…
Fuck! What's happening to me?! Palala na ako ng palala. This isn't good.
Pagkarating sa restaurant, naupo malapit sa bintana si Hunt. Sa tabi niya si Rainela at sa tabi nito ay si Rex. Nasa harap ni Rex si Red. Of course, Ace sat next to Red. Si Yudis ay naupo sa kabisera. The chairs in front of Hunt is empty. I have no choice, but to sit there.
I can feel his stare and it's making me uncomfortable. I sighed to calm my nerves. Kinakabahan ako na parang ewan. My heart keeps beating abnormally. Hindi naman ako ganito noon kapag kaharap ko siya. Siguro dahil ngayon na inamin niya sa akin na gusto niya ako kaya medyo awkward na.
I don't want to conclude anything about how I feel because I don't want to assume… I'm not up for any relationships anyway. I don't want to end up like my parents. Love is too complicated for someone like me.
My parents changed my view when it comes to love. That's why I never entertained my feelings toward someone. I'm scared that if I give in, I will be the one left behind. I don't want to commit to a relationship where I'll give everything I have and in the end, I'll end up with nothing.
I remained silent as they exchanged conversation. Hindi nakalampas sa aking paningin ang pagiging sweet ng dalawa sa tabi ko. Hunt poured water on Rainela's glass. I looked away and took my own glass too.
Iinom na sana ako nang pigilan ako ni Ace.
"Bakit?" baling ko sa kanya.
"Teh, walang tubig yung baso mo." bulong niya at binaba ang basong hawak ko.
I awkwardly looked at them. Buti naman at walang nakatingin ni isa sa kanila. Hopefully.
I cleared my throat and took the pitcher. I poured it on my glass and drank it.
"Okay ka lang?" bulong ni Ace.
Tumango ako at sumandal sa upuan. Our order is not yet served.
"Kanina ka pa wala sa sarili. May problema ba?"
Talagang lumapit pa talaga si Ace para bulungan ako. I know she's concerned about me, pero hindi ko rin naman mahanap ang sagot sa tanong niya. Hindi ko rin alam anong problema ko.
"I'm just tired." I said.
She narrowed her eyes, doubting what I said. She was about to say something pero pinigilan niya ang sarili.
Our order arrived just in time. Enough to stop her curiosity. And enough to stop me from thinking any deeper.
"Uh by the way, I would like to invite you guys to a party later." biglang salita ni Rainela.
All attention is on her now.
"That sounds great. Anong meron? Birthday mo?" usisa pa ni Yudis.
Napaangat ako ng tingin mula sa pagkain at nagtama ang mata namin ni Hunt. It was like he was waiting for me to look at him.
The intensity of his stare gives me chills and unknown feelings from my insides. I averted his gaze and tried to focus on what Rainela was saying.
"Actually, no. My friend from the agency is coming back from a mission. She told me to invite you guys to have a drink sa bar nila."
"Ah buti naman at makakapag-chill na ako." si Yudis.
"What a perfect time to have a rest from work." segunda ni Rex.
Ace and Red nodded as agreement and looked at me and Hunt. Kami na lang ang hindi pa nakapagdesisyon.
"Sure." I agreed and continued eating. I think I need a drink to clean my head. Marami akong iniisip which is very bad for my mental state.
"I'll go too." Hunt said.
I sighed. The boys cleared their throat like they knew something. Of course it is obvious. They're bestfriends. Besides, Hunt is not trying to hide his feelings anyway.
Bumalik kami sa agency pagkatapos kumain. Wala naman gaanong gagawin. So I decided to go home on my condo.
I miss my bed and the smell of my pillows at home. I called the room service to clean my condo so I can just sleep when I got home. May secret camera na rin akong pinalagay kay Atticus. Wala gaanong tao sa condo so I made sure to double the security. Pinalagyan ko ng high-tech lock ang doors and windows. Atticus suggested it.
Nang makarating sa wakas, I immediately dive into my bed. The warmth of my sheets made my body feel relaxed. After days of stressful work, finally nakapagpahinga rin.
I laid on my back and looked up at the ceiling. And one person immediately popped into my mind. I sighed. Not again please.
I think I'm losing my shit every time I think about him. This started after he fucking confessed. Tss. And I don't understand why I have to overthink everything kung hindi ko naman siya gusto. Yes that's right I don't like him. Maybe I was just thrilled by the thought that he likes me? Or because he is the first one to say his feelings towards me. Face to face!
The thought of him and me going home together, having dates, texting each other– just what the fuck Zyl?? That just doesn't feel right. You're sick in the head. That's just impossible…I don't like him. That's it.
Sa sobrang daming kahibangang iniisip, nakatulog ako. I haven't even changed my clothes. Nagising na lang ako nang dahil sa ring ng phone ko.
With my eyes closed, I took my phone in my pocket.
"Teh san ka na? Nandito na kami sa bar–"
Napamulat ako sa lakas ng boses ni Ace sa kabilang linya. It didn't help that the background noise is so loud. Ang sakit tuloy ng tenga ko.
"Huyy. Ano na? Tuloy ka ba?" napahinto siya at nang hindi ako sumagot…
"Don't tell me bagong gising ka?" humina na ang music. Maybe she went out or the bar.
"Then I won't tell you" I yawned.
Napaupo na ako sa kama at tiningnan ang orasan. It's seven in the evening already.
"Hayy nako. Ano? Pupunta ka ba o hindi? Kasi kung oo, hihintayin kita dito sa labas ng bar" aniya.
"Pupunta ako. You don't have to wait for me outside."
Tumayo na ako at pumasok na sa banyo.
"Okay sabi mo eh. Basta mag-ingat ka. Kanina ka pa hinahantay ni Cap. Andaming umaaligid. Sige ka baka maagawan ka."
Napatigil ako sa sinabi niya. Hinihintay ako? At anong umaaligid?? And how does that concern me?
"Oh siya huwag ka nang magsalita. Magbihis ka na. Ingat."
Before I could even say something, the call ended. I sighed and quickly took a half bath and changed.
I was tying my boots when my phone beeped.
Atticus:
Saan ka? Punta ka dito sa bar. Pakilala kita sa barkada ko.
Tss. At nagsabay pa talaga.
Me:
No thanks. May pupuntahan ako.
I looked at the mirror and put my hair into a half ponytail. The wavy ends of my hair bounced as I finger combed it.
Hindi na siya nag-reply kaya lumabas na ako. I hopped into my ninja and drove my way to the bar.
The city lights shined as I drove to the main highway. Medyo malayo sa condo and bar kaya mas binilisan ko pa ang pagpapatakbo. I overtaken the cars and other vehicles I ran through.
Nang sa wakas ay nakarating na ako sa bar, pinark ko na ang aking motor.
The music from the inside can be heard from outside. Pagkatapos maghubad ng helmet, pumasok na ako.
People are flooding the whole place. There were already some dancing and partying. May mga nakaupo lang din and from the looks of it, halos mayayaman ang nandito. This is a high-end bar, so what do I expect?... May mga artista akong namukhaan at mga businessman rin na kilala sa lugar.
I looked for my friends. Nababangga na ako ng iba dahil lasing na. I can feel some eyes on me. Women here wore sexy dresses, while I'm wearing my usual clothes. Black high waisted pants, spaghetti strap top and my leather jacket.
Sa madilim na parte ng bar sa isang sulok, nakita ko si Ace. She is whispering something on Red. My eyes found Hunt. He is holding a glass of liquor and his eyes are fixed on me. He is leaning a bit forward. His legs apart. Ang siko ay nakatuko sa kanyang tuhod.
I went to them, not minding his stare. Hindi pa ako tuluyang nakaupo nang biglang may umakbay sa akin at hinalikan ang aking sentido.
I saw how Ace's mouth dropped open. Hunt straightened from his seat and Yudis froze – he was holding a glass of whiskey but his hands were stopped in the air. I was shocked too. I was about to punch the bastard when he spoke.
"Easy, babe." he chuckled.
I sighed. Punyetang lalaki to. Mas lalong nalaglag ang panga ni Ace.
I looked at them and cleared my throat. "Uh, excuse me."
Hinila ko si Atticus paalis sa table namin. Kahit kailan talaga tong lalaking to.
"Tangina mo talaga no? Ilugar mo nga yang kagaguhan mo." mariin kong bulong.
He chuckled at inakbayan ulit ako.
"Minsan nga lang maglambing. At isa pa ngayon lang tayo nagkita. Hindi mo ba ako na-miss?" he said.
"Miss mo mukha mo. Umayos ka nga. Baka ano isipin nung mga kasamahan ko."
"Sus. Baka naman may boyfriend ka na kaya ayaw mo nang magpalambing sa'kin?"
"Tss. Do I look like I have one?"
He acted like he was thinking.
"Hmm. Talaga? Ano pangalan nung naka itim na longsleeve then? Mukhang papatayin ako sa tingin kanina eh."
Nakaitim? Is he pertaining to Hunt? He was wearing a black long sleeve shirt earlier. The other guys wore t-shirts.. Hayy..
"Tss. Wala!" I said dropping the topic.
He chuckled and pulled me towards their table. His group of friends are there too.
Nagsi-upo nang maayos ang mga lalaki niyang kaibigan nang namataan kami.
"Everyone, meet Zyl. My cousin." Atticus introduced me.
There were four of them. All boys. They stood up and the guy was wearing a dark blue shirt and lent his hand.
"Lorenz"
Sumunod and tatlong lalaking nakaitim na tshirt.
"Zach, Bryne, Merrick"
They all are good looking and their auras scream luxury. Our family is member of the elite families, so that's why Atticus has rich friends too.
"They're my friends since college. Lorenz is a businessman. Zach and Bryne are engineers. While Merrick is also an ex-soldier and an architect."
Tumango ako like I'm interested. Of course I know them. They're tycoons and well known in that particular field.
"Nice meeting you, Zyl." ngiti ni Merrick.
"Nice meeting you too." I said coldly.
Bwiset talaga tong si Atticus. Dinala pa talaga ako dito. The boys chatted with me and all I did was nod.
I know my cousin can sense that I don't have any interest kaya nagpaalam na siya. Buti naman.
"Ihahatid ko kuna sa table nila. Her friends are waiting." sabi ni Atticus.
"No need. I can go back on my own. Enjoy your night."
Tinanguan ko sila at tinapik ang balikat ni Atticus. I then proceed to our table.
The boys are talking about something. Nang namataan ako ay mariin agad ang tingin na ipinukol ni Hunt sa akin. He looked at me intently. Diretso niyang ininom ang nasa baso at iniwas ang tingin sa akin.
I sighed. Umupo ako sa tabi ni Ace.
Wala si Rainela at ang kanyang sinasabing friend. Maybe nasa dance floor.
"Sino yon?" bungad ni Ace.
Dahil sa lakas ng tugtog, lumapit pa ako para makabulong. Ang pangit naman tingnan kung magsigawan kami.
"My cousin." I whispered.
"Pinsan lang naman pala." she said.
May sinabi pa siya pero hindi ko na narinig. She then whispered something on Red.
Both of them smirked and looked at Yudis. Yudis nodded like he understood the two. Tss.. I'm pretty sure they're using morse code that only they can understand.
Hunt is drinking nonstop. Salubong ang kilay at umiigting ang panga na nakatingin sa banda ni Yudis.
"Sayaw tayo." anyaya ni Ace.
"Ha?T-teka." pigil ko.
Hindi na ako nakapalag nang hilahin niya na ako papunta sa dance floor.
The beat of the music is getting louder. The whole floor is crowded and the neon lights hurt my eyes.
People are going crazy dancing. I was just there watching Ace dancing to every beat of the music.
"Come on Nyx. Sumayaw ka naman." anyaya niya.
Umiling lamang ako. I don't dance. Hindi naman pwedeng iwan ko to dito.
Sa gitna ng paninitig ko kay Ace, naramdaman kong may sumayaw sa likod ko.
"You single miss?" his husky voice echoed in my ear.
I sighed and turned to him. Magkasingtangkad lang kami. Mapupungay ang kanyang mata, halatang lasing. He tried to hold me pero umilag ako.
"Don't be rude, miss. I just wanna dance with you." he said and tried to hold me again pero tinabig ko ang kamay niya.
"Feisty…. I think I like you. Come on. Huwag ka nang magpapilit." he smirked, which irritated me more.
"Excuse me" igting ang pangang saad ko.
'Napipikon na'ko ha!'
I don't want to cause chaos here. But he'll give me no choice kung magpupumilit siya.
Hinawakan niya ang bewang ko. Aalisin ko na sana ang hawak niya nang isang kamao na ang dumapo sa mukha niya. He fell on the floor because of the impact.
I was shocked that I couldn't move.
"Hands off, asshole! " Hunt said angrily and pulled me behind him.