"We both drowned under the waves of words we weren't saying"
(Ben Maxfield).
|◁ II ▷|
My bag hits the floor right when I walk into the house, but a certain chiding sound from my mom makes me pick it back up with a responding, disgruntled noise. I set it on the steps, instead, which earns me a sigh.
I walk into the kitchen and grab a water from the fridge. Football practice was especially hard today.
"How was your day, baby?" Mom questions me, closing her computer.
"Good," I respond.
I sit beside her at the island in the kitchen. "Um, Mom?"
"Yes, baby?" She smiles, her hand finding mine on the table.
"Um, Nico needs some earrings for the gala," I inform her, and her smile droops slightly. "Do you have any she could borrow? She wanted silver."
Mom nods and gets up. I follow her across the house to my parents' bedroom. We go into their walk-in closet, and she pulls a box from a drawer. Still quiet, she sifts through the jewelry in the box, and part of me feels guilty.
The other part is too angry to care.
Mom silently hands me a beautiful pair of silver earrings that are long and skinny. I carefully walk them over to my bag by the stairs, placing them in the pocket with my school airpods and trying to write a mental note to grab them when Nico comes over.
Dad enters the living room from his office. "Hey, Valen. How was school today?"
"Good," I mumble.
I catch a glance between my parents.
Good. At least they're self-aware.
"Uh, Nico's coming over tonight," I offhandedly inform them.
They haven't been around enough to tell me she can't. And the house is big enough that they won't even have to see her.
"Why don't we talk?" Dad nods at me. "Couch?"
I decide to comply, and I sit on the comfiest couch first. My parents sit on the one opposite me, and they share a look and talk without words.
"You haven't told us much about this girl," Mom timidly starts. "What's she like? Is she sweet? What does she like?"
I let my gaze hover on each of them for a moment, trying to figure out what they're doing. "She's sweet. And she likes classic rock and stuff. And she likes books."
The house is quiet, and I can catch the faint buzzing of the electricity through the house. Nico is more than just sweet.
"She's passionate about what she likes," I continue, my mind wandering to her smile and bright eyes. "She wants to be a writer. She's got an amazing family, and she has an amazing relationship with them."
The house stays quiet, and I can imagine my parents holding their breath as if I'm either fragile or a bomb about to be set off. "She's an amazing storyteller. She's kind to everyone, and she gives the people who aren't nice more credit than they deserve. She cares a lot about me, and she's given me more wisdom than I expected from a girl her age."
My parents finally take the silence as their cue to start speaking again. Mom starts, giving a small smile to Dad.
"She sounds amazing, baby."
Dad picks up from Mom's simple statement. "We'd love to meet her."
That's what sets the bomb off.
"You don't care," I grit out, feeling my stomach drop as the statement hits me harder than before I spoke the words. "You can't. You can't care about her if you've never cared about me enough to stay."
My parents' confused and questioning faces make me stand. I have to get out of this room.
Gosh, I want them to stay but I can't even stay myself.
How messed up are we?
"I just want a family," I chuckle darkly. "I never had any choice. Two families, and yet neither want me enough to stay."
Mom stands quickly, and Dad stays sitting miserably with glistening eyes. As if this is actually hurting them.
"Baby, no," Mom speaks assuredly, placing her dark hand on my arm. "We chose you because we love you. We have to work, baby—I just wish you could understand. We're doing the best—"
"No," I whisper. I stare at the contrast of our skin colors before gently taking her hand off my arm. "I don't even—I just wish you could understand. I just want a family."
Feeling like a small child throwing a tantrum, I leave for my room, slowing my determined pace on the stairs once the living room light stops reaching the darkness of the stairway. My lungs contract with a deep breath, and I continue to my room.
Not even a minute later, a soft knock graces my door. The door creaks open slowly, and Mom's head pops through, her eyes watery.
"Baby?"
My stomach falls. I just want my mom. "Mom."
Mom swipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Baby, there's been an emergency. There's a young girl we just pulled out of trafficking who's been targeted, and we just received word that—"
"Just leave," I growl, a painful ache in my chest responding to the feeling of destroyed hope on my heart.
I can't believe they keep leaving. Even when they said they would stay. Am I just really selfish?
She closes the door, and I stare at it for a moment. Sighing softly to myself, I check the time on my phone. Nico will be over soon. I decide to shower. Maybe that will make me somewhat pleasant to be around tonight.
|◁ II ▷|
The shower must make me more than somewhat pleasant because when I open the door for Nico, she presents me with a huge, brilliant smile.
"Hey, Valen."
Valen.
"Hey," I smile back. "Come in."
Nico sits at the island in the kitchen, folding her arms across the table. "Did you say you were gonna make quesadillas tonight?"
I grin at her from the open fridge. "Oh, yeah."
She laughs quietly. "Good. I've been wanting some since you mentioned them."
We talk as I make our dinner, and I feel so much better. Just a smile, small laugh, and a comment or two from Nico can completely change my mood. Tonight, though, she's done so much more than that.
Nico gets up from the island, and I turn from the stove, confused. "Nico?"
She opens the fridge. "I thought I might be helpful. Gonna make a snack tray."
I point to the cabinet as I move our quesadillas to a plate, and she finds a chopping block to use as a tray. She turns with a smile and a nose scrunch before setting the tray down beside the things she pulled from the fridge and pantry.
I set the plate of quesadillas on the island, but as Nico passes with her tray, she picks it up and moves them to the table.
"Thought we could sit at the table," she nods at it. "It'll feel nice and fancy."
So we do.
And it feels homey, not nice and fancy.
The snack tray is filled with grapes, crackers, cheese, and apples. It's an interesting mix with the quesadillas, but Nico seems to love it.
She meets my eyes across the table with a smile. "What?"
You're everything.
"My mom gave me the earrings." I reach into my pocket and pull them out. "You can look and see if you like them.
Nico opens the box gingerly and softly gasps at the sight. "Valen, these are beautiful."
Her beautiful eyes meet mine again. "Are you sure your mom is okay with letting me borrow them?"
"Of course," I assure her.
She stares at them with a wide smile, and I can feel a smile of my own threatening to appear. "Ah! I can't believe it. They're stunning, Valen. What if I lose them?"
"You won't," I promise her. "You're very organized."
She glances up at me worriedly. "Let me go take them to West's car. I stole it for the night."
We finish our meal, and I take the plates to the sink. I walk with Nico to the driveway where West's old car sits. She quickly skips over to the front door and places them in the middle console.
"Are you gonna get your own car?" I blurt out.
She pauses, the front door still slightly open. A smile appears on her face, and she looks at me and shuts the door.
"Um, I think Mom said she's hoping to be able to get me one when I turn eighteen, but that's only a little over a year, so I don't know."
Nico walks closer to me and takes my arm. "Why don't we play some games inside? I bet I can beat you in Uno."
I relish the feeling of her hand gripping my arm, and I wonder fleetingly about her tighter-than-usual grip. We walk back inside, and I completely forget the day's earlier emotions as her hand slips to mine briefly with a squeeze before she lets go and starts making us waters.
Nico, I'm in love with you.
And what starts as a competitive game of Uno ends up with us sitting on the couch in front of the tv, a big, dark blanket pulled over us. My lips upturn when I remember Nico's vibrant bursts of frustration at the game, although she beat me most of the rounds.
The light of the movie brightens, and my eyes move to catch a glimpse of Nico's face. Instead, her head is dipping towards her chin, her eyes half-closed. I feel a rush of warmth at the sight.
I have to show more affection more obviously or I have no chance. This is an opportunity, and I won't lose it to contemplation and hesitation.
"Here," I mumble and wrap my arm around her shoulder.
Her body leans into mine, and my heart stops and starts. My stomach drops as she sighs and shifts closer to me. I place my hand gently against her head, guiding her head to my shoulder. With another sigh, her hand finds my arm, and she snuggles closer to me.
The movie plays a soft sort of tune, and I watch Nico instead of the movie, finding a sort of satisfying peace in the moment.
I'll never forget this moment.
|◁ II ▷|
Word of the Day: Gingerly
(in a careful or cautious manner.)
Sorry... I know this is a weak word of the day
Much love and prayers!