CHAPTER FOUR
My alarm went off loudly at exactly four o'clock in the morning. You see that smile? Kahit kulang ako sa tulog ang laki ng pagkakakurba nito sa bibig ko. Fuck it. Ganadong-ganado ako sa pagkilos iat pagtingin sa sarili ko salamin. I couldn't get any happier, did I? The world was returning again to my favor.
Let's review what happened last night. Hahatid ko pa sana si Hailey kagabi pero sabi niya mag-ga-grab na lang siya at baka may makakita pa samin dalawa na kapitbahay niya na may kasama siyang lalaki. I said yes, of course, kung saan siya mas komportable susunod ako. Kinuha ko nalang ang plate number ng driver at hinintay muna siya umalis. The sparked in my eyes did not vanish. Kahit na may takot ako nararamdaman naging masaya ako dahil masaya siyang umalis sa piling ko.
Back to reality. Humikab ako at nag-stretch ng kamay. I kept winking at myself in the mirror. Walang sinuman ang makakapagbago ng mood ko ngayon araw.A man like me deserved a beautiful fucking day everyday.
Lumabas na ako ng pinto at bumaba, madilim pa ang paligid the sun was about to rise an hour later. I wanted to do some run outside. Maybe after I take this morning coffee. This was my favorite part of the day, always --the sunrise. Kahit pa noong bata ako, I do loved waking up in the morning just to feel the cold breeze of air touching the hotness of my body. Everything was quiet in the morning like the world was made to be perfectly at peace. This was the description of heaven for me. Dahil malapit kami sa bundok at ang likod ng bahay namin ay puro puno, all I could hear was the birds chirping.
Kumuha ako ng mug para magtimpla ng kape. Aaaah. The smell of morning coffee was one of the reason's why I loved waking up this early.
Not too long, I heard footsteps coming out from the stairs as I sat infront the dining table, Bumungad ang katawan ng isang bestfriend ko na si Sharmaine sa'kin, oh yeah, you heard that right, baby. I had two bestfriends one guy and one lady -- minus the fact that these two were fucking each other behind my back.
They were together before and they broke up because Damon was a cheating bastard. Couldn't blame the man, Sharmaine was too busy travelling and working before that she didn't have time to check on him.
"Goodmorning, Ivan. Gosh, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko," saad nito at dumeretso sa refrigerator at naglabas ng tubig sabay tinungga.
I was eyeeing her suspiciously under my grayed eyes. Mukhang may ginawa nanaman sila ni Damon kagabi.
"Party rock night, huh?" ngisi ko at lumingon sakanya. Agad pumameywang si Sharmaine sa'kin, nagtitigan kaming saglit. I knew she knew what I was thinking.
Sumuko agad ito at tumalikod. Pinasok ulit ang pitchel sa loob ng refrigerator. "Sharmaine, I'm your bestfriend and we're living the same roof. Don't deny it, naririnig ko kayong dalawa kapag may ginagawa kayong kalokohan."
"It's not like that," depensa nito. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at ibinaba ko ang salamin na suot ko sa pagre-review ng lesson ko. "Shut up, Ivan Anthony Fraizer. Just shut up and don't say anything. We're trying to fix everything, okay?" suko nito sabay umupo sa tabi ko. "So, I heard you. . ."
"Got someone pregnant, yeah?" pagpapatuloy ko sa sasabihin niya. "You heard it right. I was with her last night and we talked about it. Kung anong gagawin at sa pagbibigay ko ng sustento."
Napakalumababa ito sa gilid ko. "Sa tingin mo naman totoo na talaga this time? Alam mo, Ivan, I'm not against girls you are dating but we are talking about your girls. They're taking advantage of you sometimes. Kailangan mo siguruduhin na sayo talaga 'yan."
Huminga ako ng malalim at isinara na ang laptop ko. I wouldn't admit it but there was still a twentyfive percent chance that it wasn't mine. Because I didn't see it first hand, her DNA test. BUT. There was something about her that made me believe that she was telling the truth to me. She was not the kind of girl who would do that. You know. Lying... for the sake of what? My gorgeous face? Damn no.
Deretso akong tumingin kay Sharmaine. In the morning, kapag nauuna siyang magising kay Damon, ito lang ang oras na nakakapag-usap kami ng matino.
"When we were a child," pag-uumpisa ko. "There was a time when I know that something is meant to be mine, really mine. And you know what, when I met her last night, the way she was telling me what happened to us--- I knew, from that moment, it's the truth," I said, while imagining the scenario last night.
OH. Fuck. Not just the scenario. But also her face. . .her hazelnut eyes. Her messy black hair that was tied up and her porcelane like pinkish skin. . .Oh, Hailey, what did you do to me?
"Hoy, gumising ka sa pangarap mo." hinataw ni Sharmaine ang balikat ko. Mas lalong lumiliit ang singkit niya na mata kapag naiinis ito sa desisyon na ginawa ko. "Guard your heart, soon to be Professor Ivan Fraizer. I've seen that look before. Ikaw pa naman, gwapo kang lalaki, Daniel Padilla kana at nasayo na ang lahat pero may pagkashunga ka kapag tinamaan ka ng pag-ibig."
Napatigil ang imahinasyon ko sa sinabi niya. Girls tend to overreact things sometimes. They had this scenarios in their head sa mga mangyayari kahit wala pa naman ginagawa. Alot of times I wonder, bakit advance ang mga babae mag-isip?
"It's not, we were trying to be civil about it. Gusto ko lang talaga panagutan 'yong bata dahil kasalanan namin pareho ito. Hindi naman sa pakakasalan ko siya agad, Sharmaine. Why are you so against it?"
"Kasi wala nang natitira sayo kapag nai-inlove ka." tumayo na si Sharmaine para maghanda ng kakainin namin ni Damon. "Naiiwan ka nalang palagi mag-isa. Hindi nagiging worth it 'yong mga sacrifices mo para sa kanila."
"Sharmaine, this is different. Okay? Wala naman akong balak ma-inlove sakanya."
"Narinig ko na 'yan dati, Ivan. Dalawang beses at dalawang beses kadin iniwan ng babae, at-- take note: magkapatid pa."
Hindi na ako nakasagot pa sa sinabi niya. Isa 'yon sa naging masakit na parte ng buhay ko. Ang iwan ako ng babae dahil sa parehong lalaki. I had everything you know. I got the face, the hot body and the sense of humor. Nasaakin na nga ang lahat. If only possible to marry yourself, I would. Dude. I would date me even.
But that was all in the past, I'd moved on. Alam ko iba ang istorya na mangyayari sa'kin ngayon. Iba si Hailey, hindi ko mamadaliin ang lahat. I wouldn't take her to Las Vegas just to marry her. Fucking hell. I wouldn't do that. She was still studying and we still had too many things to correct and finish. Magiging Professor ako, estudyante siya. Alam ko isang malaking eskandalo ang mangyayari kapag may nakaalam nito sa eskwelahan na pinapasukan ko.
I would be kick out by my auntie without a wink if she knew about it. Hindi ko na matutupad ang pangarap ko na makapag hikayat ng mga estudyante, to inspire one another. This life was a mess, I know. What a fucking conflict. Pero ibang bagay nga natatago ko, ito pa kaya?
-----
Cyford University, it was one of the prestigious school in this province. This too, was famous because of the quality education that was given to its students. Isa ako sa sineswerte na nag-aapply ngayon rito. I wasn't sure until now but I needed to try. I needed some change.
This was owned by my ancestor, and the current dean Corazon Cyford was my auntie. Pakiramdam niya magpapain ako sa mga estudyante rito. Kaya ayaw niya pa akong pagsimulain. I'm not rushing thouhh because I'm enjoying this carefree life.
I was walking with confidence while wearing my specs. The students were looking to my direction. I smirked at them. Ilan beses nadin ako nakapunta rito at ganitong-ganito lagi ang senaryong naaabutan ko. They were all blushing and whispering.
I was wearing a gray suit and inside was a white polo. My worth 335$ briefcase was on my left hand, swaying a little. My hair was neatly fold in one side like a fucking respectable man. This school was my soon to be other dimension, I should practice being myterious. Pero sa bibig ko 'to? Mukhang imposible.
"Hi, bago kaba dito? Goodmorning!" bati ng isang babae sa'kin.
"Tanga! Magiging Prof. natin 'yan!"
I just gave them a lazy smile. Halos mahimatay ang estudyante sa ngiti ko. Ngumiti pa ako ng marahan para lumabas kahit konti ang dimple ko at saka nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
"Uy, si Sir. Ivan, andyan na. Oh my gosh...mahihimatay na ata ako."
"Hala, ang pogi niya talaga! Buo na araw ko. Shit. Sana araw-araw siyang bumibisita!"
Pag-akyat ko ng second floor naabutan ko ang mga lalaki na nagkukumpulan malapit sa restroom nila.
"Sir, goodmorning!" masiglang bati nito sa'kin. "Basketball mamaya, game?"
"Pass. Madami pa akong kailangan tapusin." nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad.
"Sayang naman, sir. Dumadami pa man din nanonood samin kapag kasali ka!"
Nakalaro ko nung summer ang iba sa kanila. It was the time my auntie was orienting me the do's and don'ts. Na-bore ako sa sobrang haba kaya one time, naligaw ako sa court at nakipaglaro sa kanila. It wasn't that bad to bond with your future students, damn right? Dahil ganon din ako noong college ako, panay laro ng basketball. Basketball lang... Hindi babae.
"Pre, sa tingin mo ano kaya ginagamit niyan sa mukha? Ang kinis, bro."
"Shitttt. Sir, Ivan. Ang papi-papi mo!" sigaw ng isang lalaki na pusong babae nang masalubong ko. I gave him a high five. It was our usual routine, sabi niya pa sa'kin one time kaya hindi na siya nale-late dahil pumapasok siya ng maaga para makamayan ako.
OH. Just to clear things up, I'm not into boys. I didn't want to judge the gender, alright? What I wanted in this University was simply to inspire people and to avoid discrimination at any cost. Dapat pantay-pantay ang tingin.
Nakakapanibago, yeah? That's who I am here, to help students grow and to be the best version of themselves. I believed knowledge was a powerful weapon and also a continuous growth to one's mind. You had to learn something new inside or outside of that classroom, even learning a small deed of kindness, it helped and wouldn't hurt a bit, damn correct?
"Ang swerte ng mga estudyante niya, noh? Siguro palagi silang ganado pumasok."
"I swear, kung siya ang Professor ko, maaga palang nasa classroom na ako. At ibabagsak ko ang ibang subject para lang maging Prof. siya ulit the next sem."
"Goodmorning, Professor Ivan. May nalaman ako tungkol sa'yo."
Napahinto ako sa huling nagsabi n'on. It was Patricia -- isa sa pinakapasaway ko na estudynate sa psychology class. She was wearing a black loose t-shirt. Naka-lipstick din ito ng black at puro bracelet na black sa kanyang kamay. She too was wearing a black converse. She smiled at me while chewing something.
Bigla ako kinabahan sa sinabi niya at lumingon dito. Mas lalo akong nawala sa ulirat nang mapansin ko kung sino ang katabi niya. Si Hailey, nakasuot ito ng checkered na malaking damit at pants. Her books was infront of her as if hiding something from her body. Hindi ito nakatingin sa'kin, but by the way she her eyes looked away from me while walking. Mukhang hindi maganda ang nalaman ni Patricia mula rito.
"What is it?" bulong ko at hinila ko sila pareho sa gilid.
Hindi parin tumitingin si Hailey sa'kin. Nagpalipat-lipat lang ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa. Nagsisimula narin pagpawisan ang makinis ko na mukha.
Of course, my day was completed to see her. Of course, I'm delightful. But she made me nervous at the same time. Both of them.
Ngumunguya parin si Patricia habang nakatingin sa'kin. "Chill..." sabi nito. "Para kang nakakita ng multo, sir. Teka, kilala mo naba si Hailey?" hinila nito ang kamay ng n'on. "Friendship ko from other subject. Ireg din kasi siya like me, niyaya ko siya maki-sit in satin kasi apat na oras pa bago 'yong next class niya, eh."
Napakagat ako sa labi ko ng mabilis at napalunok. Still Hailey didn't look at me. Nagsisimula nang kumunot ang noo ni Patricia sa inaasal namin pareho. Ito na ngayon ang nagpalipat-lipat ng tingin.
"Ow, magkakilala naba kayo? Nako, mukhang binagsak ka dati ni, sir, Hailey, ha?" natatawang sabi nito.
"Patricia. This is not the right time to joke around. Ano bang nalaman mo?" seryosong tanong ko, trying to focus my eyes on her.
Hailey was beside her and few inches away from me. Parang kagabi lang magkasama kami at ngayon, biglang may himala na susulpot siya sa building kung saan ako nagtuturo.
"Eh, sabihin mo muna na papayag ka na mag-sit in siya satin."
"Okay lang, Pat, anokaba. Magsusulat na lang ako sa library ng mga plot sa istorya na sinusulat ko. Matatapos ko na kasi 'yong outline."
"Girl, ang haba ng oras na hihintayin mo. Mabait naman 'to si Prof. saka close kami."
"Patricia---" sabi ko ng hindi ngumigiti at sabay lumingon kay Hailey. "Professor Ivan Anthony Fraizer," pagpapakilala ko sa sarili ko sakanya.
Nagulat ito sa inasal ko. She smiled awkwardly. "H-hailey, sir. . ."
"Okay. Ngayon magkakilala na kayo. Ke-kwento ko lang naman sayo 'yong sinabi sa'kin ng girlfriend mo kahapon."
Tumigil nanaman ang pagtibok ng puso ko nang marinig ko ang salitang girlfriend. Because the last time someone brought it up I was in a sudden trouble.
"Ayon, nakita ko siya kahapon. Sa hotel na pinagta-trabahuhan ng pinsan ko. Eh, alam mo naman, machika ako. So binati ko siya at sinabi niya sa'kin na may balak ka raw mag-propose sakanya nong araw na 'yon---"
"What the actual fuck?"
Hindi ako palamura kapag nasa loob ako ng campus. But wait. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. Hindi ko alam kung mabubunutan ako ng tinik dahil hindi ayon ang inaasahan ko na marinig sa bibig niya. Napatingin agad ako sa reaksyon ni Hailey, nanlaki ang mata nito at tila namutla sa sinabi ni Patricia. Isa pa. FUCKING HELL. Yuki and I? Getting married? No! We were about to date yesterday. Nothing more. Nothing less. Hindi natuloy iyon dahil nakipagkita ako kay Hailey, I knew Damib handled it very well.
"Sir, may mali ba sa nahagilap ko? Alam ko naman na chickboy ka outside this school, 'di ba?"
Para akong binuhusan lalo ng tubig sa mga lumalabas sa bibig ni Patricia. Hindi alam ni Hailey na ganito ako kalala, palipat-lipat ang mata hita at hindi mawari kung saan titingin.
Sa'kin ba o kay Patricia.
Sa'kin.
Baby.
Sa'kin.
Please.
She kept her composure still and bit her lip. Nagsisimula nanaman manginig ang katawan niya. Naapektuhan ito sa sinabi ng kaibigan.
"You. Pumasok kana sa room. It's a lie and it's not my priority."
"Pero kasi---"
"Mendez. Enter that room," seryosong utos ko at itinaas ang kamay sa pintuan. Nagulat ito sa inakto ko dahil minsan lang ako magseryoso kapag siya ang kausap ko.
Nagpaalam agad ito sa kaibigan niya na si Hailey.
Nakahawak ako sa batok ko dahil parang tumataas nanaman ang presyon ko dahil sa sinabi ni Yuki at mas lalo sa reaksyon ni Hailey. Nang tuluyan ba makapasok si Patricia saka ako nagsalita.
"I'm sorry---"
"Hindi mo kailangan mag-explain."
Sabay naming banggit. There was an awkard silence again around us. Napatingin ako sa paligid ko. I bit my lip, too.
Walanghiya. Bakit kinakabahan ako na parang nahuli ako ng asawa ko na may kabit? Even if our set up had limitation I didn't want to feel her unease.
Alam ko iba parin kapag nadinig mo na ang lalaking nakabuntis sayo ay may girlfriend na. It was like a truth slapped straight to the face.
Huminga siya ng malalim. Dama ko ang pagpipigil niya. I wanted to calm her and comfort her. But there were too much student walking, at alam kong nakatingin ang mga ito samin.
"Let's talk later," sabi ko sakanya.
Hindi siya tumitingin sa'kin. Pakiramdam ko pinipigilan niya ang sarili na maiyak.
"May pasok ako sa trabaho. Text na lang po. Saka baka may makakita pa satin. Ayokong masira ang pangalan mo rito."
"No, Hailey, pupuntahan kita mamaya." I insisted. "After class, or after your duty. Let's eat again, my treat. Hintayin kita."
Madami pa kaming kailangan pag-usapan at malaman sa isa't isa. Kahit na hindi ito kasama dapat sa kailangan kong gawin para sakanya pero pakiramdam ko ito ang tama. To explain how my life worked outside this campus.
Hindi siya sumagot sa'kin. "Is everything okay?" I asked, worriedly.
Tumango si Hailey at mabigat na tumingin sa mga mata ko. Her hazelnut eyes were teary. "O-oo. . .sir. Mauna na po ako."
"Hailey, wait." My voice was small and concerned at the same time.
Napalingon siya sa'kin na naguguluhan ang mga mata. "S-sir?"
"S-see you later. Ingat ka. . ." nabubulol na sabi ko.
She bit her lip. "S-salamat," after she said that, tuluyan na siyang lumakad palayo sa'kin.
Parang bumagsak ang balikat ko sa naramdaman ko para sakanya. There was heaviness in my chest while watching her walked away. Ayokong may lumalakad palayo sa'kin, it just didn't feel right. 'Yong may nang-iiwan sa'yo. I hated goodbye.
"Sir Ivan, goodmorning po sa'yo! Ang pogi niyo talaga araw-araw! Pa-fresh ng pa-fresh! Ang swerte ng mapapangasawa niyo!" bati ng isang estudyante na kinagulat ko.
"Mas magiging maswerte ako sakanya," sagot ko habang nakangiti.
"Si Sir talaga... Pwede ba ako na lang?"
"You need to graduate first," I answered then winked at her.
Nagpaalam na ako sakanya at tuluyan nang pumasok sa clasroom. When I greeted my whole class, hindi parin maalis sa isip ko ang naramdaman ko sa reaksyon ni Hailey. Maybe there was something about her that I needed to know.
It was more than this pregnancy set up. Unti-unting nababaling ang atensyon ko sakanya. She was a mystery that needed to be solve. Ano bang mayroon sa'yo, Hailey? I guessed, I just had to find out.
_____
Have you read the latest update? Nasa Chapter 14 na siya sa NoInk! Read it there :) here's a few lines for chapter 14 :)