Jason Stallone|28
"Same old, same old." Nars said to herself as we looked at the bald middle aged man in the living room playing video games.
Letting go of my hand,she walked over to the man and tapped him on his shoulder to get his attention.
"Hey dad." She said lowly as he looked up at her.
"Nars."
That was what he said and nothing else,not even a how are you. After that he just went back to play his game.
"Suh yuh cah show mi likkle attention fi more than 2 seconds huh?" She asked sadly looking at her father.
"Mi turn round and look pan yuh don't, wah more attention yuh wah?" He asked annoyed.
"I just want you to be happy to see me. Everytime you call yuh always a ask wen mi a come back home. Yuh always a cuss mi seh mi figet weh mi come from and now that I'm home yah act like I'm not worth a glance."
"Well if mi did know seh yuh woulda come back home come bada me, mi woulda tell yuh fi tan a town." He hissed as he looked over at me.
"Who dat?" He asked putting down his controller.
"I'm Jason, Nars boyfriend." I voiced as I stood in the same spot.
If him wah talk to me, him affi go get up and walk over. Mi nah kill up miself fi talk to a man weh deal wid him daughter suh.
"Ohk." He nodded as he got up and walked over to me.
Before he greeted me,he looked me up and down before stretching out his hand for a hand shake.
"Good grip." He hummed pleased as he took his hand away from mine.
"So yuh go town go get man, that's why yuh neva wah come home?" He questioned turning back to Nars.
"No dad he's not the reason why I stayed away." She mumbled looking at him.
"Well I don't see another reason, yuh go town go look man, and come back home fat up like yah breed."
"Just like yuh mada." I heard him murmur, but Nars didn't seem to hear as she didn't react.
Cah dah man yah raise Nars a rass. And wah him mean by just like yuh mada?
"These two can never get along." Her grandmother sighed as she walked past me and went around a corner.
Probably a hall way to one of the rooms, the house is pretty big.
"No dad, the reason why I don't come home is because I can't stand to be around you and yuh bullshit. Everything mi come back yah yuh mek mi feel like shit. Mi know seh yuh nuh agree with my decision to live in Kingston, but God know yuh can atleast show likkle respect for the person making sure that you have money every week from the same job that I bust my ass off in Kingston working for." She hissed.
When I looked at her I could see the pain in her eyes as if she wanted to cry.
Yh a time fi mi step in now.
"Don't get in between them." Her grandmother voiced as she walked up to me.
"They always fight and make up, that's their thing." She reassured as she went into a different hallway that was infront of me.
Dah house yah full a hallway like maze.
Taking Fredda's advice of not intervening in their argument, I listened on as Nars and her father squabbled. As I did so I turned to look at the wall beside me that had a number of photos framed and arranged in the shape of a heart.
Looking on at them I realized that every photo was of the two people same people, a woman and Nars's father, when he was younger. In some of the photos she was pregnant and in the others she was posing with Nars's father in a wedding dress.
Goodly dem wedding day.
But the one that stood out to me the most was the largest photo in the middle of the collage. The woman was looking in a mirror as a sonogram reflected from it.
"She was beautiful wasn't she?" Nars grandma Fredda said beside me.
Deven realize seh she did deh beside me.
"Yh she pretty bad, fava Nars." I smiled realizing the resemblance.
"Always a tell her seh she dead stamp of her mada." Fredda laughed as she looked at the photos.
"This is her mom?" I asked amazed.
"Yh this is her. Nardica Walters."
"Ohh, so that's where she got the name from." I laughed.
"Yep, the name is pretty unusual, but her mom wanted something that was unique from the others. My daughter always thought that a unique name made a unique personality hence her reason for naming her baby Nars."
"The part about unique personality is true, there is never a dull moment with Nars." I smiled looking over at her while she argued with her dad.
"Next month will make it 26 years since she passed away. I miss her so much, my likkle spoil baby."
As I looked at Fredda looking at the pictures, It all came back to me that Nars's mother died in childbirth.
If her mom died in childbirth that means she definitely grew up with her dad and grandmother. I wonder if they used to argue like this all the time when she was younger.
"So did they argue like this when she was growing up?" I questioned Fredda.
Sighing at my question she looked over at the two people arguing, then back at the photos.
"No, they were like two peas in a pod. Anywhere yuh see Jerry yuh see Nars. If Jerry a go work at the farm fi go dig Nars ago deh behind him with the cutlass and her crocus bag a wait fi him." Fredda laughed as she reminisced.
"So wah happen, how dem come fi live like this now?"
If dem did so close wah coulda possibly cause dem fi a live bad now?
"Nars moved to Kingston, that's what happened." Fredda sighed.
"Jerry isn't a big fan of Kingston, so when Nars told him that she was going to move there he started acting out."
"Why?" I asked looking down at her.
"My daughter used to work in Kingston and would come home on weekends-
"You know what, let's just not talk about it, it's not my place to say anything." She said before walking away.
That was weird.
After Fredda left to go do God knows what, I looked back over at Nars who I saw hugging her father.
Now mi know why she stay suh.
After their embrace, her father turned to me and smiled.
"So yuh deh wid mi daughter." He said getting serious.
"Yes, we are together."
"And yuh serious bout her and everything?" He questioned as he sat down.
"As serious as a judge." I said matching his demeanor.
Chuckling at my response, he turned to Nars and raised his thumb. After he did that she smiled and looked over at me.
"Weh dat mean?" I questioned in my mind as I looked at them.
"Narsie go and help your grandmother set up the rooms."
"Alright dad." She smiled before walking off.
"Come we have a reasoning." He said straightening up in the settee after she left.
Walking in a steady pace, I moved to sit beside him.
"So you want to marry mi daughter?" He asked amused watching me sit.
Look like him beat mi to it.
"How yuh know dat?"
"I mean, who inna dem right mind woulda drive come suh far fi look fi dem in-laws. Yuh coulda just make a face call like weh Nars always do. But you didn't, so obviously you have something to say that couldn't be done over the phone." He said seriously.
Who say country man fool?
"Well since yuh beat mi to the question, yes I came here to ask your permission to marry your daughter." I smiled.
"Glad seh town man still have likkle manners." He snarled.
Wah do him and town?
Turning to look at me, he studied my demeanor for a brief moment before looking away. "My answer is yes, you have my permission to marry my daughter." He laughed lightening the mood.
Glad him seh yes, and even if he didn't that wouldn't stop me from marrying her.
But that's wasn't the only thing that I came here for.
"Man to man mi ago ask yuh some questions and mi need some honesty." I said ruining the happy mood.
"Ano suh it work son,yuh nah go come inna my place come boss mi round." He said calmy beside me.
"Not because yuh inna things wid mi daughter mean seh yuh fi come gwan like we a size. Now, mi know seh you and Nars deh fi couple months now and according to what she tells her grandmother you two have been friends for a couple years before, am I right?" He asked.
"Yh, you're right." I nodded.
"OK, so I'm just gonna cut out the part where you act like you like me and get to the issues that you have with me."
"How yuh know seh mi have issues wid you?" I asked amused.
Laughing at my question he slumped down into the settee and put his hand behind it.
"Mi know seh yuh know that Nars sends mi money every week, and you look like a sensible person, so any sensible person would wonder why a big man like me a fend of a him daughter." He said looking over at me.
"And without delaying you a response I'm just going to cut to the chase. Nars isn't mine, she never has and she never will be, I act as if I'm her father and do fatherly stuff, but I can never deny that fact. After years of taking care of somebody else's child I see it fair that I get my reparations." He said calmy looking out.
Wtf.
"Weh yuh mean by Nars isn't yours?" I asked genuinely confused.
"Like how yuh wah be a part of the family, it's time for you to know some family secrets."
Sighing he looked over at the entrance to the hallway that Nars went through, and once he saw that she wasn't there, he turned to look at me.
"While Nars and I were arguing, I overheard you and Fredda talking about her mother, am I wrong?" He questioned.
"No, you're not." I nodded.
"Nothing past my ears in this house. And I saw you looking at the lady in the pictures, she's Nars's mother Nardica."
"Fredda told me that." I responded sitting up straight.
"She pretty don't?" He questioned looking over at the pictures behind him.
"Yes she is."
After I said that he chuckled then shook his head. "That's what made me fall in love with her when I first saw her, her beautiful. Then after that I started liking her personality and what not, now let's cut a long story short, couple years past and we got married."
"But here's the problem with being with a beautiful woman. And I'm sure you're going to experience this with Nars also, dem attract all kinda man and even if they tell you that they aren't interested in them, there is always going to be that one man weh she ago put you aside for." He sighed shaking his head.
"Don't you agree?" He asked.
And all I could do was nod, because he wasn't lying and to be totally honest when he said that I started thinking about the Mateo situation.
But I doubt Nars would do that to me or would she?
"I'm glad you do. Now after Nardica and I got married, we started planning for the future, that meant children, and yuh know seh if we want kids we affi go look better jobs and get a house to raise dem in cause there was no way we could raise have raised our family in the one bedroom that we lived in at the time." He sighed.
As he started telling the story, I dropped my guard and started getting comfortable in the settee.
"Glad seh yah relax, cause this ago take a while." He laughed looking at me.
After I got settled, he looked back over to the hallway, then at me before continuing his story.
"So one day now mi come home from uppa the farm where I worked, and see her pan phone a talk. After she done she say she was on a job interview, when I asked her about the job details, she mentioned that it was an office job in Kingston.
Now, mi and she born and raise a country, so when she say that now mi start wonder ,cause why would she want to get a job in a whole different parish that she has never been to. But she explained to me that the money there would be better and after she made enough, she would move back so we can start our family.
And mi nah lie I was hesitant about it so I said no, I told her that she couldn't go. But yuh know how woman convincing and stay right?" He chuckled looking at me.
Laughing along with him, I shook my head in agreement. "Yh dem have dem ways."
After our laughter died down he went back to the story.
"Long story short she do all kinda things fi make mi change mi mind and I eventually did. I made her go to Kingston for 5 days a week to work and on the weekends she would come and do whatever she needed until she went back on Monday. Now while she worked she sent back money to take care of things such as food, rent etc, but I saved it up instead and used my likkle income to make ends meet for both her mother Fredda and I . But once I had saved enough of the money that she sent, I used it to buy land for a house, this house to be specific." He said looking around.
"And to be honest, because mi see money a run and things a gwan, I got distracted from everything. Firstly, I didn't know who she worked for. I knew where she worked but not who she worked for and because mi did enjoy the rewards weh she did a bring in I didn't question it.
Push come to shove now, the house done build up and everything, now it's time for her to come home, because we did done agree that once we had enough to start a family she would come back, but mi get fi realize seh she stop come home pan weekends. Everytime mi call her she kept saying her boss needed her to start working on weekends etc etc.
So one day mi get mad and call her and asked if something deh a town a keep her busy. She said no, but her boss wants her around more because she does her job well, one bag a shit she keep on a tell me." He said getting upset.
"But even after she stopped coming home I didn't really seek to get deep into the issue, because she kept sending money."
"One day out a the blues now, she call mi seh she deh outside a the house. Me now get surprised cause a months now she nuh come home, so I was really excited to show her the house and everything else that I did with the money. So quick quick mi run from uppa farm come down and trust mi it better mi did low her mek she stay a Kingston, because what I saw that day hurt mi heart up until now." He hissed his teeth.
"The love a mi life did a breed and the baby was definitely not mine because mi know fi a fact seh yuh cah breed somebody from Portland while dem deh a town. Country man fool, but nuh dat fool." He laughed reminiscing on his life.
"After that I wanted to leave her and mek she stay inna the big house weh mi use her money build, but her mother Fredda convinced me to stay and raise the baby as my own to prevent any further disgrace on the family."
"So yuh kept the baby as your own." I said lowly finished his thought.
"Yes I did, as an idiot country man that's exactly what I did. After I forgave her she quit her job in Kingston and stayed in the house for 2 months straight so nobody nuh see the belly.
And to prevent anyone from finding out that the baby wasn't mine we took all kinda pictures together just fi try convince the community member dem and try prevent shame pan her. And I must say, I was really getting the hang of it, my wife was pregnant and even though the baby wasn't mine I really didn't care because I knew that I had her back in my life and that's all that mattered, but tragedy happened and she died in childbirth and I had to raise a child that isn't mine for 18 years."
"So Nars isn't your daughter? I questioned.
"Not biologically, but emotionally she is. Now I told you this out of trust,since you might be my future son in law." He mumbled looking at me.
"So Nars nuh know?" I asked quizzically.
"No she doesn't and I want it to stay that way." He said sitting up straight in the settee.
What the fuck did I walk into?
"So how yuh trust me wid a secret like this and yuh just meet me?"
Taking up his game controllers, he passed me one, and after I took it he started a new match.
"Nars has never brought a man home before, and you are the only man that I have ever heard her talk about to her grandmother, so I assumed it was serious." He said focusing on the TV.
After he told me what happened with Nars's mother, It all started to make sense, especially what he said earlier while Nars and him were arguing.
The reason why he asks her for money every week is because he sees it as a reward for raising her in love for 18 years especially like how she's not his child.
And the reason why he was upset with her moving to Kingston was because it reminded him of what happened with his wife Nardica.
"So when you said nars was just like her mada. This is what you were talking of at the time?" I questioned as I played the game with him.
"I know you heard that but yh, because she go town like her mother fi look work and now she comeback fat like she's pregnant,so I just assumed that the same situation is repeating itself." He shrugged.
"Well it's not,she's not pregnant." I reassured turning to look at him.
"Good mi wah she get married first." He smiled looking at me.
"So like how yuh know the story, I hope you can keep yuh mouth shut. Her grandmother and I have been keeping this secret for almost 26 years and I don't need you fucking it up. I might not be her biological father,but I took care of her from she born till she move out, so nobody can tell me that she isn't my child and I don't want you to tell her that she's not and take her away from me." He said sternly while we played the game.
"So how yuh expect mi fi keep this from her?" I questioned.
I've never kept anything from Nars before, and I don't intend to do so now.
"Because if yuh love her yuh wouldn't tell her this and break her heart. Yuh know the right so do it."
After he said that Nars and her grandmother came back from down the hallway with some towels in hand.
"So did you guys bond?" She questioned smiling down at us.
"Yes we did, didn't we Jason?" Jerry questioned looking at me.
"Yh we did." I said not meeting her gaze.
"What about?" She questioned.
"Nothing that you should know of." Jerry said looking at me.
"Right Jason?"
"Right." I smiled thinly.
"OK keep your secrets." She rolled her eyes as she went towards the other hallway.
"It's best if she doesn't know." Her grandmother said sadly looking at me as she followed after Nars.
The both of them keep saying that, but how can I keep such a big secret from someone that I love, it just doesn't sit well with me.
But as I came to think of it, telling her would just hurt her, so as Jerry and Fredda said, it's best if she doesn't know.
And as of now, I'm gonna pretend that I don't either.