I woke up in my own bed the next morning without realising how I ended up here. It took me a minute to vaguely recall strong arms lifting me to my bed and Lachlan's low whisper in the night.
I got up and went downstairs for my daily walk stopping by the kitchen to serve me a glass of water when my eyes stopped on the table.
There was a small pile of what seemed to be clothes with a handwritten note on it.
Morning Leannan.
You'll be better off with these this morning. Temperatures dropped a good bit, take one of my pullovers on the coat rack next to the door.
-L.
Under the note were a black scarf, a hat and some gloves that I badly needed but had again forgotten to buy while shopping for groceries.
I smiled at the sweet attention and grabbed one of his big pullovers as said in the note.
It smelled like him, a mix of his cologne with a hint of the farm smell. I got out and was indeed thankful for the clothes that were given to me as I saw the frozen patch under my feet.
While walking I tried to think of something else than him but failed. Things got worse when I covered my hat with the hoodie of the pullover to protect me from the rain. I was now fully surrounded by the smell of him and couldn't help but find comfort in it. I felt at peace and protected. I lied to myself trying to convince my mind that in the end no matter the means, the main goal of these walks was to be at peace.
Not by thinking of him though.
I buried my nose in the scarf to protect myself from the icy wind and my mind got back to his arms and the three tattoos I had noticed a few days ago. They seemed to be in a different language and I was dying to ask him what it meant but stopped myself every time as it would clearly show I was eyeing him. I thought then of his handwritten note and the word "Leannan".
I typed this word on my search bar, and after a few seconds the result appeared.
" leannan from the Scottish m (genitive singular leannain, plural leannain) lover, sweetheart. "
I stopped my steps brutally remembering the first time he called me Leannan. I had thought back then he had just made a mistake in my name and never really realised until today it might have been Gaelic.
I stayed a few minutes in the cold trying to make sense out of this when the Jeep stopped at my height.
I looked at Lachlan for a few seconds before entering the car.
You're overthinking again. Might be a common thing to say here.
I then realised how I did not get familiar with the locals, I had noticed looks in town but had had very few interactions with them. I made a note to myself to try and get out to the only pub in town, at least try.
" You're alright? "
I nodded trying to look normal. I didn't ask as I feared it was really a usual term to be used.
" Thanks for all of this, I really appreciate. "
He didn't answer and drove us to the house.
" By the way, I'd like to see more around. Do you have any recommendations ? "
He seemed to think for a bit while we walked toward the door.
" Depends on what you mean by see more around. For your walks you can check loch Sligachan, the town is small and I heard you have already been in it so there's nothing more here to see except the pub. You'll have to take the car for most of it anyways. The coast in general is pretty popular I guess. "
" What do you mean you've heard I have been in town? "
He did not look at me pouring two coffees, one with only milk and the other with sugar and milk. He rested his back on the counter, finally looking in my direction.
" As I said, it's a small town, people talk Leannan. "
I grabbed my coffee and sat on the chair.
" What does it mean ? Leannan? "
He finished his coffee in one gulp before existing the room, avoiding my look.
" It means you're the biggest pain in my ass. "
" What the f... Are we back to that now? "
He laughed softly.
" See you at noon Leannan. "
I stared in the void still shocked at the end of our conversation before finishing my coffee and getting to the shower.
I put the coat back on the rack with my hat and scarf. When I got out of the shower I prepared the kids for our routine and told them that I will teach them a bit of French tonight. They were excited and kept talking about it.
They came back home more excited than ever while I was teaching them just the bases. Their father joined us somewhere after 10 minutes and stayed aside.
They taught me a bit of Gaelic and made fun of my prononciation when I tried to introduce myself in the language and I swear I heard Lachlan laugh along. His eyes were still smiling when I looked at him and I thought about how handsome he was.
After 30 minutes the kids were bored and I let them play. Lachlan was about to go back to the farm when I stopped him.
" Actually I was thinking of going to the pub tonight, meet some people and everything you know. Is that fine for you? "
For a brief instant I saw a hint of jealousy or anger crossing his face but he regained composure pretty quickly and was back to his cold features.
" As long as you're able to be up tomorrow for the kids. "
I nodded and went to the pub around 7pm. It was a Thursday night and it was not really busy. I sat down at the bar and ordered an ale. I knew I would not like it as much as I didn't like the one time with Lachlan but I didn't want to seem too much of a foreigner. Which I regretted immediately from the first gulp.
" Ah yeah, these are not made for everyone, love. "
The bartender gave me a knowing smile while I was definitely blushing.
" At least I've tried. Again. "
He came closer to me, he must have been in his forties' but was still pretty handsome and I wondered what was in the water that made these men so attractive.
" You're the nanny aren't you? "
I nodded a bit surprised before remembering Lachlan's words. I held my hand to him which made his grin wider.
" Eleanor. "
" Lovely to meet you Eleanor, Douglas, you can call me Doug. "
" Douglas like Lachlan's friend? "
" The one and only, would you be more a whiskey type love? "
I watched my beer with a certain displeasure and decided a whiskey would be way better. I nodded and he seemed happy enough.
" It's on the house. "
I thanked him and he poured me the whiskey and went to assist another customer.
The drink reminded me of the ocean with a hint of salt and seemed to have a caramel-like taste.
He loved whiskey, he would've been a better taster than I was at this instant.
I suddenly realised how my grief seemed to have paused ever since I arrived. It was like the pain and the guilt were not the main emotions in my daily life and though I'd mourn Adrian every day, it was not paralysing me.
" What do you think? "
I suddenly came back to reality and smiled weakly.
" Yeah it pretty good. "
He tilted his head on the side with a curious look on his face.
" Missing home already? "
I must have had my sadness written all over my face again and I remembered my brother making fun of me for being such an open book.
" Not quite. Thanks for the whiskey. Is that your pub? "
I changed the subject and he didn't push, answering the question happily and informing me he took the lead of the pub when his father died a few years ago.
He was charming and I could see some head turning towards us from time to time. A blonde girl came to the bar to order a cocktail from which I didn't catch the name. She looked at me with curiosity.
" Hi I am Bree. You're new here right? "
She was tall and wore a tank top with her jeans showing her tattooed arms. She was young enough and couldn't be much older than me.
" hi, I am Eleanor, yeah I've been there for barely two weeks. "
We chatted for a bit discussing our life and what was fun to do on the island and she brought me to her table where her group of friends welcomed me warmly. I was happy to have found people from my age here and we exchanged our numbers.
Bree invited me to join them the following Saturday at a club in town and she insisted, telling me she would pick me up at the farm. I agreed and called it a night around 11. I did not drink much and could easily drive. I tried to say bye to Douglas but he was nowhere to be found so I exited the bar.
There I found him smoking his cigarette. He slightly bowed his head when he noticed me.
" Thanks again for the drink. I am leaving now. "
I was walking toward the car when he stopped me.
" Careful in town Saturday. "
" Well now it's not really polite to eavesdrop conversation. "
I was trying to sound funny but his face remained serious.
" What? "
" Listen love, you're a pretty creature and I wouldn't want something to happen to you so be cautious. "
" I am confused. Are you flirting with me or threatening me? "
He laughed softly.
" Neither of this. I know better than to get involved with my friend's girl. "
And without any more explanation he left and entered the bar again. I stood there confused before hopping into the car and driving to the farm.
The light was still on when I arrived and I found Lachlan in front of the TV barely awake.
" Were you waiting for me ? "
He tried to look completely awake and put on his usual cold air.
" No. The show was interesting. "
I looked at him and then the TV to see he was looking at a Home shopping channel.
" The show before. "
I smiled and went upstairs without any more words. I fell asleep easily with a smile on my face.