Gauri fiddled with the ends of her dupatta, her mind blank as her insides churned. She remembered the way bile had risen up her throat when she'd burst into the bathroom—— Annika had had her eyes closed with a serene smile on her face.
It had terrified her!
Gauri had grown up without or a father. Her mother had died long before her fifth birthday. Their father had been bedridden and depressed since their mother's death.
Gauri wouldn't have even known that the man in the locked room, she'd been told to never go to, was her father. Her sister and aunt had taken care of Harshvardhan Trivedi for nearly three years until she'd seen the corpse of the man being wheeled away on a gurney, at the age of five.
She still remembered clutching Annika's arm, and whimpering as she had buried her face in her sister's chest. Her sister had wrapped her arms around Gauri, peppering kisses atop her head and whispering words of comfort.
Annika had promised to take care of her—— and she had. She had loved Gauri as a mother loved her child, as a father loved his daughter—— something neither of her parents had done.
She still remembered how their Chachi would always make Annika slave away day and night—— from cooking, to cleaning to doing the laundry. Annika had learnt how to make and sell dosas before she had learnt how to do simple multiplication.
Their Chachi had always restricted Annika from going to school; stating that it would be a waste of time and money.
Gauri remembered bits and pieces of her childhood—— she remembered Annika's love and care; the motherly touches and the soft lullabies sung to her every night; the whispering words of assurance as Annika would rock Gauri to sleep when the younger Trivedi sister would occasionally suffer from nightmares. Annika would stay up the entire night to make sure Gauri got her sleep, even if it meant she didn't sleep a wink.
Growing up, Gauri had watched Annika wipe away her tears as her Chachi would taunt and scream at her elder sister. Annika had always stayed quiet, thankful that their aunt had taken them in. Their Chachu had been a kind man, taking them in when their own father had fallen so hard into depression, he couldn't even raise a finger to raise his daughters.
Their Chachi had always been a sweetheart in front of their Chachu—— showering Annika and Gauri with love; putting them to bed and tucking them in every night. Gauri had always been puzzled at the change in their Chachi's attitude. But her young mind had termed their Chachu as a good luck charm—— their Chachi became nice when their Chachu was around, which meant that he was their lucky charm.
Soon after, Sahil was born. She remembered just how happy Annika had been to have a little brother. Annika had been fourteen at the time and Gauri merely nine. She remembered the jealousy which made her never talk or play with Sahil until she had been twelve.
But Annika had always made sure to pay extra attention to Gauri. Sahil had had his mother and father's love, but Gauri didn't have that. Thus, Annika had showered Gauri with the love of a mother, father and an elder sister.
When their Chachu had passed away, their Chachi had gone back to the cold avatar twenty-four/seven. Sahil had been perplexed to see the change in his mother, but he had been even more scared when his mother would scream at his Annika Didi and Gauri Didi.
Annika had borne the brunt of their Chachi's words and actions—— toiling day and night. But Gauri had learnt—— their Chachi thrived off the sadistic pleasure she got from torturing Annika day and night. Seeing Annika's tears and helpless look in the elder Trivedi sister's eyes brought her happiness.
Thus, Gauri had attempted a different approach—— she remembered how she'd taken the kitchen knife and chopped her hair short at fifteen, donning the gundi avatar and making a promise to herself and a silent one to her sister.
Firstly, she would never let anyone treat her the way her father and her Chachi treated her and Annika.
And secondly, she promised to always protect her sister. Even if she ever fell in love, got married and moved away, she would only do so after her sister would've settled into a good family that would take care of her.
Yeh tu ne kya kiya Gauri?—— she stared at the wall behind Rudra and Priyanka who sat on the other side.
Shivaay's words from earlier rattled inside her brain.
You chose to abandon her.
Had she?
She remembered how eager she had been to marry Omkara. But she also remembered the betrayal and agony she had felt, when watching her Annika Didi hide behind a pillar and watch the festivities.
Had it been up to Rudra and Jahnvi, Annika would've not even been allowed anywhere near let alone inside the mansion, but Gauri had pleaded Omkara who in turn had requested his mother and brother to let Annika watch from a distance.
No participation. And she'll not be seen in the open.
That had been Jahnvi's condition.
No matter what, Gauri couldn't even blame her mother-in-law, brother-in-law or her husband. Shivaay had murdered their father—— erased the sindoor from Jahnvi's hairline and torn apart the mangalsutra around her neck.
He had taken the life of the man who had raised him as his own son; killed the eldest child of Kalyani Singh Oberoi who had already lost her younger son and daughter-in-law.
Gauri couldn't fathom and yet to this day, still didn't know why Shivaay had done what he had done.
The man loved his family more than anything—— he'd raise hell and raze heaven for his brothers, sister, grandmother and aunt.
Why did you do it Jiju?—— Gauri wondered quietly, her eyes flitting to look at Shivaay's hunched gaze. He held her sister's mangalsutra in his hands, caressing the stones and beads carefully—— as if taking a wounded kitten.
You chose to abandon her.
Gauri loved her husband.
She would never change what they had.
But if she could go back in time, she would definitely do things differently.
~^~
Annika entered the bathroom, her hands shaking as it gripped the scissors tightly in her hands. She stared at the bathtub—— pristine and sparkling white. It felt like it had been edited in real time with filters and bling.
So unlike her own life which was filled with dirt, pain and an all consuming black hole of tarnished self-respect that was slowly sucking out all the hope and life out of her.
She walked forward—— slowly dragging her feet which felt like they were made of lead. As she neared the bathtub, she turned on the shower, watching as the water trickled onto the surface and swirled down the drain.
She wished she could do the same—— just disappear and become lost in a sea full of various other components.
She didn't wish to be this broken shell anymore.
She didn't want to have to fight for a relationship all alone.
She didn't want to become her father.
She didn't want to live anymore.
~^~
Omkara stared ahead, at his brother and his cousin—— Priyanka—— who were both exhausted. His eyes drifted towards Shivaay—— how was he feeling?
Omkara couldn't believe how much a person could change—— he'd grown up with Shivaay, Rudra and Priyanka. They were less like cousins and more like siblings. They loved each other deeply and trusted each other—— they'd always talked about first crushes, first loves, first kisses—— only in Rudra's case—— planning surprise birthday parties for Priyanka and Rudra; planning visits to England to surprise an Oxford attending Shivaay Singh Oberoi.
He'd watched how his once carefree Shivaay Bhai had transformed into an introverted and distrusting teenager—— shying away from all his old friends and classmates. He'd turned away from any and all relationships—— platonic, romantic or otherwise.
He remembered how Shivaay had transformed overnight after his father and mother had left—— taking care of little Priyanka and Rudra while simultaneously balancing the responsibilities of Kalyani and Omkara himself.
He still remembered how Shivaay had spent hours in the kitchen one dawn, perfecting Priyanka's breakfast—— that was the first time Omkara had seen him being genuinely interested and happy. And ever since, for two continuous years, Omkara had stayed silently by Shivaay's side while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Eventually Shivaay had started to come out of the quiet shell he'd slipped into after the death of his parents. Omkara had engaged in the talks, eager to make sure that his brother didn't fall back into his depressive state.
They'd spent over a decade and a half, just like that—— he had loved his elder brother who had taken on the responsibility of him and his brother when their parents had been grieving in London. He'd never hated them for it—— after all, he understood what losing Rudra and Shivaay would do to him.
But to see—— years later—— the very same Shivaay—— standing over their father's body with a gun clutched tightly in his hands—— Omkara snapped his eyes shut.
It had torn him apart.
It had made him question the very man he'd grown to consider a father figure and an elder brother.
The very man, who had always been the first to sort out any sort of disagreements between him and his father or mother—— Shivaay had always made sure the relationship that Rudra and him shared with their parents were as close to fairytale-like as could be.
Shivaay had always regarded Tej to the highest degree—— at times Omkara had wondered if he and Shivaay had been switched at birth. Of course he had never minded—— he'd seen the reclusive shell that Shivaay had become after the death of his parents.
It wasn't until he was fourteen that he started to become, somewhat, of what he used to be.
And somewhere deep down, Omkara had been ready to have Shivaay be the proud son of Tej Singh Oberoi; he'd been willing to share his own parents because he just loved his brother that much.
And he knew Shivaay had always admired Tej, whereas hated his own father. He had always loved and respected Jahnvi, even more so than Pinky Singh Oberoi. That wasn't to say that Shivaay disliked his mother—— he simply did not have as many memories of her as he did of Jahnvi.
Why did you kill him Shivaay?—— Omkara's eyes snapped open and he stared at the hunched figure of his brother. Why would you kill the man you so greatly admired? He loved you!
He didn't know if Shivaay had felt someone's gaze on him, when his elder brother looked at him, with the same broken expression in his eyes that Omkara had seen after the death of his parents, Omkara's hands itches to reach out and assure his brother.
But as Shivaay's gaze hardened and he looked away, Omkara fisted his palms—— the conflict between his heart and mind was becoming far too of a difficult battle.
~^~
Annika had sat staring at the wall in front of her for hours on end. She ran her thumb over the scissors, pressing to feel the sharp edge of the blades against her finger.
She looked up at the shower head, reaching behind her and blindingly groping around to turn it on. As soon as the water streamed down on her, she closed her eyes, leaning her head back.
What did she have left in her life?
She smiled bitterly.
The relationships she had formed over the years had been shredded, torn apart, stomped on and burnt—— destroyed in every possible way known to humankind.
What did she have to left to fight for?
When the longest relationship in her life had been thrown away by the other person so easily, enamoured by a man Gauri had barely known for a year as opposed to the sister she had had since childhood.
Annika wondered if it made her sound selfish—— she did not have any rights to ask Gauri to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of herself.
She knew she would've blamed herself for stopping Gauri from getting the love her baby sister so clearly deserved. Gauri had been the light in a sea of darkness—— out of the twenty-eight years she had been alive, Gauri had been her solamce for twenty-three. The rest five she could barely remember.
But she had—— oh so desperately—— wished that someone would put her above themselves for once. She had not expected that from Shivaay—— he had made it very clear from the very beginning that he did not have faiths in relationships. Friendship was the most he could do.
But even so, he'd changed—— he'd gone from naming their relationship as friendship, to naming it that, what was between a husband and a wife.
And thus, somewhere in her heart, a seed of hope had been sowed—— one that had been waiting for him to let her in his heart. To let her love him as he deserved to be loved. He'd always taken care of everyone—— but who had taken care of him?
She'd begged him—— gripping his shoulders—— to tell him the truth. She'd known him long enough to know he loved Tej Singh Oberoi more than his own father—— trusted the man blindly—— thus to believe that Shivaay would ever murder Tej due to something as little as property or wealth had been absurd.
But they had all believed it—— Jahnvi, Omkara, Rudra, Kalyani and Priyanka.
They'd believed that their Shivaay, their Billu, their Bhaiya—— could do something like that.
Annika had been horrified to see the way they had turned their backs on him. They had trusted him when it had been Mohit and Nancy—— could they not trust him once more?
She had.
She had trusted him.
She knew there must've been a plausible explanation for it all.
She'd begged him to tell the truth.
But he'd stayed silent—— under their roof and within the walls of the courtroom.
She had never blamed him for that—— she had never believed that Omkara, Rudra, Kalyani and Priyanka weren't justified in their anger or disappointment.
But what she hadn't been able to digest, was the fact that they'd divided the house and isolated her for merely supporting Shivaay.
For believing that he must've had had a reason for doing what he had done.
The very Omkara and Rudra that had gone against their Shivaay and their own Dadi and brought her home to give her the rights of an Oberoi bahu and Shivaay Singh Oberoi's wife—— had spewed hateful words and cold glared that had pierced her soul.
The men she had considered her brothers had scorned her.
The five years had passed in a monotonous blur—— the same routine every day. The same harsh words and whispered insults, the same glared and judgemental stares.
And finally, after five years, she had been happy.
Her husband was finally to be released and she would have him back again. Annika wasn't a fool—— she hadn't expected Shivaay to be the same man he had been before.
Jail was no joke, and while Shivaay might be the Shivaay Singh Oberoi, he was still a human being—— PTSD and difficulties in adjusting to normal life as before would pose a challenge. That is what a psychiatrist had told her when she'd gone to consult one on how to behave with her husband.
She had wanted to be ready—— to be able to help him in any way possible.
Knowing Shivaay, he would've never accepted help from anyone.
And Annika hadn't wanted him to differ for his own stubbornness and need to fight all battles alone.
Where did that bring you, Annika?—— she smiled bitterly, as her body started shiver from the cold water having drenched her clothes.
She had no one left anymore.
No husband.
No sister.
No brothers-in-law.
No family.
No in-laws.
No one.
Her eyes snapped open and she exhaled a shaky breath as she opened the scissors and pressed one blade against her wrist.
~^~
There was a a strange sensation of being wrapped up in a cocoon, far away from civilisation. Sound, touch and smell seemed to be miles away, out of reach. It felt as if she was being dragged under the waters, and this time, she was far too tired to fight its pull.
She kept her eyes closed—— far too drained to open them. Her ears picked up on the sounds of closing doors and people shouting as they bustled to and fro, in a frenzy.
Annika heard people shouting her name and saying words she was not familiar with.
A nearby incessant beeping irritated her greatly and she felt weight around where her hands should be.
"Mrs. Oberoi?" A voice asked gently. Annika stayed quiet, a single finger twitching in response. "Can you hear me?" Annika opted to stay quiet and unmoving as the unfamiliar voice tried to coax a sound or movement out of her. "Just hang in there."
But she didn't want to.
Not anymore.
~^~
Priyanka had always been a pampered child—— as the only girl in the family and the youngest of all Oberoi brothers, she'd never had to experience the burdens of business and familial pressures as Omkara and or Shivaay had. She'd never had the freedom that Rudra had had, but she'd been given a lot of leeway for events that might've otherwise gotten her grounded had her own biological parents been alive.
Priyanka had merely been a year old when both her parents had died. Or—— if what the reporter had leaked five years ago, was indeed true—— apparently her mother had shot her husband before Pinky Singh Oberoi decided to take her own life.
The rose coloured glasses she'd viewed the entire world with, despite her family's clear distrust and distaste of outsiders, had been ripped away and stomped on.
And her Shivaay Bhaiya—— no, just Shivaay Singh Oberoi—— had recently uttered words that had made her question everything she'd known.
She still couldn't figure out what he had meant when he'd lashed out at Kalyani. She'd initially thought it was due to Kalyani's comments while Annika was fighting in between life and death—— she'd never known her paternal grandmother to be this judgemental nor insensitive.
She knew Kalyani had never liked Annika—— even from the very beginning, up until the Mohit and Nancy fiasco.
But even now, years later, when everything was going back to the way it was five years ago, she couldn't understand why Kalyani bringing up old wounds and rubbing in salt.
Priyanka glanced at the hunched figure of her elder brother—— she'd never seen him this defeated and determined at the same time. His gaze was blank as he looked around, his fingers twitching, highly alert.
She looked at Gauri who seemed to be exhausted and yet wanting to cry at once, but merely looked far too drained to be even able to shed tears.
Priyanka looked back at Shivaay.
She'd seen him in a similar position five years ago—— standing over her Bade Papa's body with a gun in his hands.
Five seconds were enough to turn their whole world upside down—— the Shivaay Singh Oberoi who looked up to Tej Singh Oberoi—— a well known fact in both the Oberoi family as well as in the corporate world—— had been the one to shoot the man dead.
He'd done it for property—— they'd said.
But Priyanka had known her Bhaiya couldn't do that—— Shivaay had never let the matters of money get in between any of the relationships he'd formed or nurtured. Especially not those that he'd formed an attachment to since childhood.
But you'd believed Omkara and Rudra—— he subconscious chuckled. The belief had been wiped away, hadn't it Priyanka?
She faltered.
What else was she supposed to have done? No matter what she said or believed, the truth was as presented—— Shivaay had indeed shot Tej Singh Oberoi.
Even Khanna—— Shivaay's most loyal employee and one amongst the people he highly regarded trustworthy—— had testified that Shivaay's statement of having killed Tej for the properties were indeed true.
But you loved Bade Papa more than you ever even loved our own father, Bhaiya—— Priyanka thought quietly, as she watched Shivaay lean his head back against the wall.
Had Shivaay truly done the one thing he'd always promised Omkara, Rudra and Priyanka never of doing?—— letting money get in between relationships.
Why would you kill him Bhaiya?—— Priyanka thought with a twinge in her heart. She rubbed her chest, feeling the discomfort rise.
She'd indulged in heavy drinking and smoking—— partying and clubbing—— a stark contrast from who she had been years ago.
Omkara and Rudra had been far too busy with handling the repercussions that had stemmed from Shivaay's imprisonment; as well as enjoying their new life with their wives.
Kalyani had been away at the ashram, hoping to find peace. Jahnvi had shifted to London with her, occasionally staying in USA.
Annika had tried her level best to get Shivaay out of jail as soon as possible.
Priyanka had had no one to turn to. She rubbed her chest, as the dull ache throbbed. The only person who'd had her back—— who'd listened to her woes and comforted her had been Rajeev Kashyap.
Priyanka rested her chin on her knees as she wrapped her arms around her legs.
Five seconds had turned into five years.
And changed the lives of the four Oberoi siblings and the senior Oberoi—— bonds that used to be y breakable and unbeatable.
Ok, so here's the update.
Also warning in advance for the next chapter: detailed suicide attempt and mentions of blood and gore. Both in the past (flashback scenes) as well as in the present (kind of...... as in at the hospital).