Bumusina ako at agad naman binuksan ng guard ang gate para makapasok ang kotse ko. Gabi na ako nakauwi. Matapos kasi ang eksena sa restaurant ay nagpasya na akong umalis at iniwan ko ang mga kaibigan ko duon dahil gusto pa daw nila kumain.
Umuwi ako kanina sa bahay pero hindi naman ako nag tagal dahil nababanas ako sa sarili kong pamilya. Ginagawa ko naman ang lahat ng gusto nila pero hindi talaga lagi sapat.
It's funny na akala ng lahat ako ang pinaka paborito sa pamilya dahil ako ang bunso, pero hindi iyon totoo. Kahit twenty two na ako ay hawak pa din nila ako. Bawal akong mag desisyon ng sa akin.
They want me to mature according to their way of raising me. They want me to become the best like my siblings, but they're keeping me from discovering my full potential as a person.
"You're late. Where have you been?"
Napahinto ako at napabuntong hininga. Inabot ko yung bag ko sa maid na lumapit sa akin at lihim akong napairap nang mapansin ko sa peripheral vision ko ang paglapit ni Quinn.
She's in her silk night robe, and I know underneath she's only wearing her revealing nighties. I can smell her scent as she approaches me and closes the distance between us.
She's about to give me a kiss, but I look away and step back, still wearing my passive expression.
Umayos sya ng tindig at sinuklay ang malambot nyang buhok gamit ang mga daliri nya habang tumatawa at naiiling.
"Still not a sweet girl, I see..." - she muttered, crossing her arms. "Have you eaten? If not, I'll ask them to--"
"Don't bother," - I said coldly, and I walked past her but halted because I wanted to say more. "Stop acting like a wife to me, Quinn. Let's just keep being strangers to each other like what we are outside."
"Hmm, you're mad again, which is wrong. Okay, I'll drop the act and let's talk about what you did today."
Nilampasan nya ako at pinasunod papuntang sala.
"What I did today was none of your business," - I said, causing her to stop walking. She slumped down on the nearest couch and put her legs over the other. She lean her head on her palm and lazily cast her eyes on me.
"You've been my business since that day, Kenny," - she replied, examining her newly manicured nails. "I thought you're studying well while I'm away, but I guess I'm wrong. Don't you want to graduate on time?"
"Ngayon lang naman nangyari 'yon. At saka hindi naman ikaw ang nag papaaral sa akin." - malamig na sabi ko.
"Pero may ambag ako sa allowance mo." - giit nya at pinag krus ang mga braso. "At simula ng ikasal tayo, ako na ang naging guardian mo kaya...tama lang siguro na mag expect din ako sa'yo?"
Nanatili akong walang kibo at napakuyom nalang ng kamay dahil totoo naman iyon. Kahit sinasabi ko na sa kanya na wala akong pakealam sa pera nya nilalagyan pa din nya ang bank account ko. Kaya naman kahit labag sa loob ko ay may utang na loob talaga ako kahit wala naman dapat.
Arrange marriage lang naman itong relasyon na meron kami dahil na din sa kagagawan nya. Kung pa pipiliin ako mas gusto ko pa din na single sana ako para malaya akong mamili ng taong dapat kong mahalin.
"If you don't have anything else to say, then I'm going upstairs."
She stood up and came closer to where I was. Her hand reached my shoulders and caressed my clothes to flatten the ruffled surface. My eyes linger on her perfect-looking face; she's always had this seductive look, and if I were in love with her, I might melt, knowing that she's in front of me and looking at me.
Napasinghap ako at napatiim bagang. Mabilis kong nahawakan ang mag kabila nyang palapulsuhan dahil pababa na sa tiyan ko ang hagod ng palad nya. Hindi naman ganun kagusot ang uniform ko ah!
"Hindi ka pa ba kontento sa mga lalaki mo? Pati ako lalandiin mo." - iritang sabi ko at marahas na tinanggal ang pagkakahawak sa kanya.
I won't let myself trust her and fall into her trap. I know her even from the moment she married me. There's so many men linked to her, and her reason? It was just a job, nothing serious, and besides, she's enjoying it.
"Don't tell me you're jealous now?" - her eyes squinted, and she tilted her head, having that teasing smile on her lips. "Aww, my baby."
I rolled my eyes and turned my back on her to leave her in her delusional era. She's too full of herself. Just because everyone adores her personally or even in front of the camera doesn't mean I should also be like that.
"Kenny Rae, get back here! How dare you turn your back on me! You have no manners! I'm older than you!" - I heard her screaming in the living room, like she's really offended.
Para naman syang bago ng bago. E palagi naman talaga akong nag wawalk out kapag nagiging weird na ang kilos nya sa harap ko.
Hindi ako sanay kapag sweet sya o di kaya yung mang aasar. Mas gusto ko nalang na hindi nya ako pinapansin.
"Ugh! Humanda ka talaga sa'kin bukas!" - sigaw nya ulit kahit slang ang tono nya.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pag akyat na parang walang narinig. Pagkapasok ko ng sarili kong kwarto ay kusa nalang lumabas sa bibig ko ang isang halakhak na agad ko din pinigilan.
She's cute too.
********
The next day I woke up early, not because there's a class but because I just woke up and I can't sleep anymore.
I slept late last night because I'm busy doing my homework for next week. Ayaw ko kasi na natatambakan ng gagawin.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto at nagpasya na bumaba. Sarado pa halos ang mga ilaw sa hallway pero tanaw ko na naka bukas na yung bandang papuntang gym. Kumuha muna ako ng warm water sa kusina saka ako nagpunta duon.
Hindi naman ako maninilip. Titingnan ko lang kung gising na din ba ang bruha kong asawa at hindi nga ako nagkamali dahil pag silip ko sa nakabukas na pinto ay nakita ko syang nag stretching.
She's in her black sports bra, leggings, and running shoes. Her long hair was tied up in a clean ponytail, exposing her long, flawless neck and sexy collarbones.
I unconsciously swallowed and drank from my cup of water while staring at her model-type body, but she suddenly turned to my way and met my eyes, causing me to choke and cough uncontrollably.
Damn it!
I saw her stand up from the mat and jog towards me to soothe my back. I look away because her girly scent is pulling me to sniff her.
I don't like her, but I can't deny the fact that my wife is hot, okay?! She's like those Victoria's Secret models shooting for a gym commercial.
"I'm alright!" - I said, moving away from her to mask my inner thoughts.
"You're not. Why are you up early? Its weekend."
I couldn't react when she suddenly wiped the sides of my lips with her finger. I caught her hand, and we stared at each other for a long moment before we let go, as if we had been burned by an invisible fire between us.
She cleared her throat and looked away."Are you here to watch me do my morning exercise? You're desiring me?"
"No, ang hangin mo." - Walang gana na sabi ko. "I was just passing by and saw the lights open."
Bumuntong hininga sya at kinumpas ang kamay nya na parang sinasabi na kwento mo yan e.
"Mom and Dad want to see me later. You'll come with me, right?"
"Tell them I'm busy. It's not like we're really." - I sighed and chose not to finish my sentence.
She arched her eyebrow and rolled her eyes.
"Just so you know, I'm still not over with your cutting issue. I'll keep that a secret from your parents, and in return, you'll accompany me to my parents house."
"And now you're blackmailing me. Ibang klase.." - napailing ako at kunot noo na tumingin sa hawak kong tasa.
Muling dumako ang mata ko sa kanya matapos ang ilang sandali. Nakita ko sya na nag sisimula na sa exercise nya.
Nadidistract ako sa bawat galaw ng katawan nya kaya medyo naglihis ako ng tingin at lumunok ulit.
"Fine, I'll accompany you," - I said, and she stopped for a moment just to glance at me with a shock expression. "In one condition, Quinn."
"What condition?" - her voice sound edgy.
"Stop dating men."
She blinked; I was also surprised by what I said, and later on, she burst out laughing so hard while looking at me. I felt so awkward that my cheeks started to burn. My grip on the cup of water tightened.
"You're married to me. It's cheating!" - I tried to save myself, but she's already so done and even wiped her eyes because of tears of joy.
Napahawak pa nga sya sa flat nyang tiyan after tumawa ng tumawa.
May nakakatawa ba talaga sa sinabi ko?
"You're really full of surprises, Rae. But for the record, I'm not cheating. I'm doing media play to protect you."
My brows furrowed. "Are you making me laugh?"
She shook her head and pursed her lips.
"Hindi ka kasi ma social media e..wala ka tuloy alam." - tunog nang aasar na aniya.
"What do you mean?"
"Remember the time when you fetched me and your sister on a rainy night? Someone took a picture of me being held by you under the black umbrella. Good thing you had your jacket hood so your face wasn't visible in their shots. The pictures have gone viral for almost a month now, and I know how much you value your private life. That's why I pretend I was with a man that night."
My mind wanders back, and she's indeed telling the truth because I can also remember that day.
I was so worried about them that I forgot the fact that she's famous and being near her might spark an issue.
My family background was a secret. I'm using Buenaflor as my surname in school because I don't want others to know that I belonged to an influential clan and pry about my private life.
"You don't need to be jealous. I've been yours since the day we got married. If you're ready to claim me, just knock on my door. I'll gladly accept you with open legs. Oh my bad, I mean open arms." - she chuckled, making me frown at her.
"Baliw." - pikon na sabi ko at nilayasan na sya.
As if naman ako talaga ang gusto nya.
Ang tino lang talaga nya tignan sa harap ng camera at ng ibang tao pero dito sa bahay palagi nya akong ginaganito. Kung hindi ako lalandiin, tatarayan naman ako palagi o di kaya itatrato na parang hangin lang.
*********
"Get change. You dressed too casual." - she said for the fifth time.
Kanina pa sya nakatambay sa room ko at kanina pa din nya pinapakialamanan ang suot ko.
"We're not in a boutique, so stop making me change!" - I frustratingly said.
Naka de kwarto pa sya ng upo sa couch na nasa dulong bahagi ng kama ko. Naka expose na naman ang hita nya dahil maiksi ang suot nyang skirt habang sa balikat nya nakapatong ang itim nyang blazer, naka tube lang din sya sa loob kaya kapag gumagalaw sya hindi ko maiwasan pagmasdan ang manipis nyang bewang.
"I bought you clothes, didn't I? Wear it." - she demanded.
"Ayaw ko mag dress!" - giit ko at humarap na sa salamin para ayusin ang belt ng trouser ko. Tinupi ko din hanggang siko yung sleeve ng top ko at inayos ko ang hair ko.
Humarap ako sa kanya pag katapos at nahuli ko syang naka titig sa braso ko pababa sa kamay ko.
"What's the matter?"
"Maugat..." - she let out a sigh and stood up while still glancing at my hands. "I really like it."
Her heels echoed when she approached me. I'm still taller than her, despite her wearing high heels. She licked her lower lip while fixing the long sleeves. Her fingertips brush on my skin, making my jaw clench.
Sinasadya na naman nya.
"I won't lie. You really look pretty handsome in this attire."
"Kaya ba gusto mo na mag palit ako?"
She swallowed and nodded. I chuckled because she seemed dazed and had not realised that she had been caught.
"If you hadn't told me beforehand your reason for marrying me, I might assume right now that you're in love with me, Quinn."
"Really?" - she taunted, placing her hand on my chest.
Her eyes turned sleepy, and it's not freaking funny. In game na naman sya sa pang aakit nya.
I lean closer and hold her chin. My heart is beating loud, not romantically but because of something else.
"Just to be clear, I just looked like him, but I will never be my kuya. Stop thinking that you can have me under your spell, Quinn. I won't fall for you."
I pushed her away from me and smirked when I saw her looking lost. Maybe she forgot her own script; she wasn't supposed to be like this to me because I'm not the one she likes. It has always been my brother.
Nung una ayos lang naman sa akin na gamitin nya ako kasi huli na sya para mag confess. May iba ng mahal si kuya at engaged na din that time kaya ako nalang ang pinili nya kasi kamukha naman daw ako ng crush nya. Ayos lang talaga kasi wala naman akong feelings sa kanya at gusto ko na din makalayo layo sa pressure mula sa parents ko, pero habang tumatagal nakakainis na din. Nakainis na sya. Hindi ko na kasi alam kung saan ako minsan lulugar, kung sa little sister ba, asawa, o estranghero.