When Keith awoke the next morning, the room was bathed in soft, early sunlight. He stretched, feeling the soreness of his muscles from the physical toll of his days spent wandering. He checked his phone; it was fully charged now, filled with missed notifications and messages, most from Lance. His heart tightened at the sight.
Keith steeled himself and opened Lance's messages. They ranged from confused and worried to deeply apologetic. Lance hadn't mentioned Allura at all, which made Keith wonder about the nature of their relationship.
Keith shut his phone off and decided on getting in the shower. After a long, hot shower, Keith felt somewhat refreshed but still troubled. He quickly toweled off and dressed in a pair of buffalo plaid pyjama pants and a soft, faded T-shirt with holes in it.
As he ran a comb through his damp hair, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of keys jangling and the front door opening. Lance was back.
Keith paused, heart thumping in his chest as Lance walked in. They made eye contact, both seemingly startled at first. Lance's face softened, and he dropped his keys on the small table by the door with a clatter. "Keith," he said, his voice carrying a mix of relief and something else that Keith couldn't quite place. "You- you're back," he exclaimed. "I've been looking for you all night, are you okay?"
Keith got all choked up, and nothing that he wanted to say would come out. "I have to go," Keith said, leaving the room in an instant without anything on his feet.
"Keith!" Lance ran after him and grabbed him by the wrist to stop him.
Keith spun around, his eyes wide with a mix of anger and vulnerability. "Let go of me, Lance!" he snapped, his voice harsher than he intended. Lance instantly released his grip, hands raised in a placating gesture.
"I'm sorry," Lance said quickly, his expression one of genuine concern. "I didn't mean to— I just didn't want you to run off again."
Keith's shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of him. "I'm not running," he muttered, looking away.
"Well... why don't you come back inside for a moment and we can talk?"
"I don't want to talk right now, Lance," Keith said, but walking back into the room nonetheless.
Lance watched from the door frame as Keith slid on his shoes without socks and grabbed his phone before walking past Lance without so much as glancing in his direction. Lance didn't chad after him this time, he just watched him walk away, his heart heavy with guilt. "It's fine," he told himself in his mind. "I made the right choice." The atmosphere in the room felt heavy with unresolved tension as Lance gently closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing thoughts.
As he moved through the room, picking up Keith's discarded towel and folding it neatly, Lance couldn't shake the feeling of regret gnawing at him. Did he even like Allura?
Lance sat down heavily on the couch, burying his face in his hands as he pondered his own feelings. He couldn't deny that there was something about Keith that drew him in, something intense and unyielding that he couldn't find in his relationship with Allura.
As the silence of the apartment weighed on him, Lance's mind replayed the scene with Keith over and over. He should have handled it differently; he should have been calmer, more understanding. The truth was, he missed Keith, more than he had allowed himself to admit before now.
He knew he needed to give Keith space, but at the same time, he felt an urgent need to make things right between them. Pulling out his phone, Lance debated whether to send a message or give Keith more time. He sighed and sent a message to Allura instead.
Lance - 9:12
Hey, I think we need to talk
Allura <3 - 9:20
Is something wrong?
Lance - 9:20
Can we meet up today?
Allura <3 - 9:20
Of course Lance... when would you like to meet?
Lance - 9:21
Idk just whenever youre available
Allura - 9:21
Ok... we can meet at noon
Lance - 9:21
Your place?
Allura - 9:21
Sure, that's fine
Lance- 9:22
K. See you then
Allura - 9:22
Is something going on?
Lance - 9:22
We'll talk about that later
Lance sighed as he turned his phone to do not disturb and laud in the fetal position in his bed, collecting his thoughts and figuring out what he was going to say come noon.
Lance couldn't shake the feelings of anxiety as he watched the clock hands creep towards noon. The conversation he was about to have with Allura loomed over him, heavy and unavoidable. His mind kept replaying his last interaction with Keith, the tension and the words left unsaid thickening the air around him like fog.
By the time he arrived at Allura's building, his hands were slightly trembling. He took a deep breath, steadied himself, and pressed the buzzer for Allura's apartment. After a brief pause, her voice came through the intercom.
"Uh... i-it's Lance?"
Moments later, the door clicked open, and Lance pushed through, making his way up to her apartment.
The elevator ride seemed longer than usual, giving Lance ample time to organize his thoughts. By the time he reached Allura's floor, he had managed to compose himself somewhat, though his heart still raced with nervous anticipation.
Allura opened the door before he could knock. She looked concerned, her eyes searching his face for signs of what might be wrong. "Lance," she greeted, stepping aside to let him in. "What's on your mind? You seemed... off in your messages."
Lance walked into her apartment, a familiar space that now felt strangely foreign. He took a seat on the soft couch, and Allura sat opposite him, her posture open and inviting conversation.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," Lance started, his voice shaky. He paused, gathering his thoughts. "I don't think... I don't think this—me, you—I don't think it's right."
Allura's expression changed, a mixture of confusion and hurt crossing her features. "Lance, what are you talking about?" she asked, her voice soft yet firm.
"I like you, don't get me wrong," he said. "It's just... I think we rushed into things." He paused, and Allura remained quiet as she waited for him to keep talking. "I can't help but feel like I've been using you... as my own sort of distraction almost. To try to forget K–someone."
"Lance..."
"And I think you've been doing that too," Lance said, the words coming out harsher than he had intended. "Maybe you didn't realize, but there's no way you could've gotten over Lotor that quickly."
Allura's eyes widened, a flicker of hurt passing over her face. "How could you say that?"
"It's true, isn't it?" Lance asked more calmly. "And I've been, more or less, doing it also so it's not like I'm being hypocritical or anything... I'm just saying."
Allura took a deep breath, her gaze dropping to her hands before she looked back up at Lance. "Maybe it... started that way but, I seriously fell for you, Lance."
"I'm sorry," Lance whispered. "I just can't see myself seeing anyone if I'm not over someone else."
"Who is it?" Allura shot.
"Why's that matter?" Lance didn't want to reveal anything, scared he'd ruin whatever was going on between her and Keith, more than he already had done so.
Allura leaned forward, her eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to understand. "It matters because I care about you, Lance. And if you're hung up on someone else, I need to know so I can understand what's happening here."
Lance sighed, feeling the weight of the moment press down on him. "My roommate."
"Your roommate?"
Lance nodded slowly. "But maybe we can try again when we're both ready?"
Allura shook her head. "I don't know if I can."
"I understand," Lance said. "I'm sorry."
Allura stood up. "So was that all?"
"I-"
"Because if we're done here, I'd like you to leave." Allura's voice was firm, her face set with resolve even though Lance could see the hurt behind her eyes. She looked away, her fingers twisting nervously.
Lance stood up, the weight of the conversation settling heavily on his shoulders. "I'm really sorry, Allura. I never wanted to hurt you," he said quietly, his voice tinged with regret.
"I know," Allura replied, still not meeting his gaze. "But sometimes intentions aren't enough."
Lance nodded, feeling a pang of guilt as he moved towards the door. He paused at the threshold, turning back to look at her. "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me," he offered, though he knew the gesture was small consolation.
Allura finally looked up, her eyes meeting his. "Take care of yourself, Lance."
With a heavy heart, Lance left the apartment, the door closing softly behind him. As he made his way back down in the elevator, his thoughts were tumultuous. He had come to Allura hoping to clear his conscience, but now he felt even more adrift. The realization that he had potentially lost two important people in his life because of his indecision and mistakes was overwhelming.