Gone for Good //HS

By 17l3lack

98 0 0

Harry Styles, author of bestselling book When She Left, reveals the true inspiration to his critically acclai... More

'When She Left'
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Chapter 4

16 0 0
By 17l3lack

Blake's POV 

I slam the front door to my apartment shut, toss my keys to the counter and ignore the fact they ended up on the ground instead. I storm to the bathroom, and stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes colder under the florescent light, and the constant contempt look adorning the features of my face seeming deeper. I sigh shaking my head at my reflection. 

I sit down on the cold linoleum floor and lean my head against the wall. I shut my eyes, counting the time between the inhale's and exhale's I allow. When I get to twenty-six seconds without breathing, my eyebrows knit together in the familiar pattern of annoyance as my phone rings in the kitchen.

I push myself onto my feet and walk to the sound of the noise. When I find it on the counter where I had left it this morning on accident, I tap the green button.

"What." I snap.

"Uh, it's Harry." The weight on my chest that I didn't realize was crushing me lifts, and I feel my muscles relax.

"Oh." I sit down on the old white, wire dining chair I got from Megan. I'm not exactly used to having a normal conversation, I don't talk on the phone much. I pick at my nails nervously waiting for a response. 

Nervous laughter escapes from the other line, and I smile.

"I was just wondering when you were free? For our date." His words rush out and pause at strange timings. 

"Yeah, I'm free anytime after eight tomorrow." I slowly breath out. I wasn't doing anything tomorrow, besides working at that horrendous coffeeshop, but I thought it would be better if it seemed like I was.

"Alright, is there anything you would like to do?" He seems unsure of himself. 

"Isn't that your problem?" I speak without thinking. I scrunch my face, and bite my lip in regretful anticipation.

He clears his throat before speaking again, "I suppose you're right." He laughs, thankfully disregarding the rude tone I took with him. 

"Where should I meet you tomorrow?" 

I could not be more thankful he hasn't suggested us going to dinner and a movie, those dates aren't really my style. 

"Come to my apartment, 227 East 7th Street, I'll come down and meet you." 

"I wasn't ready for the address quite yet, can you please repeat that? I need to write it down." I can't help myself from laughing at how awkward this phone conversation is becoming. 

I wait a few seconds for the okay to repeat my sentence. 

"Okay, what was it?" 

"227 East 7th Street." I slowly emphasize each number and word, making a point. 

"Mhm, how do you spell that?" He jokes on the other end, causing me to laugh again. I haven't shared a real laugh with someone in such a long time. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." I say, trying to end the conversation. 

"Yeah, I'll see you then." A long, and somewhat uncomfortable silence ensues on the line. I wait a few more seconds hoping he'll hang up. 

After those seconds pass I realize I'll have to do it. I tap the red telephone button, and toss my phone onto the small, circular, matching wire dining table. 

I walk into my bedroom, and without much else I could do, I think I should just go to bed. Although my shift gets done at five, I normally go out and try different restaurants around the city, then walk around for a little while. On average I get back to my apartment at nine or ten. 

It's almost ten, and I only realize now that it's a tad odd that he called later than most. Knowing Harry for the fleeting few days, I can tell he's not like most. The way he carries himself is one of a kind, he's unsure but confident at the same time, he's fascinating. 

I yank off my jeans, and pull on some shorts. I decide I'll take a shower in the morning, as I take off my black The Hideout shirt, and put on a loose sweatshirt. 

I jump into bed and pull the white comforter on top of me, trying to increase the heat circulating around me. I close my eyes and imagine different scenarios of tomorrow. 

After hours of replaying situations in my head, I look at the clock. It's 3 am and I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.

-

Harry's POV 

It's nearly one in the afternoon when I wake myself up. I was exhausted after not being able to sleep until 5 am. 

I sit up from my position on the couch I had fallen asleep on. I rub my sore neck, and turn my attention to the TV I had accidentally left on. Current celebrity gossip pours through the quiet speakers. I really fucking hate actually watching these shows, but as background noise they were all right. 

I stand and stagger to the kitchen holding my hand over my eyes, shielding the sun from falling into my face. I take the kettle off the stove and fill it with enough water for a cup, or two. I turn the flame all the way up, and search my cupboards for the biggest mug I can find. 

Although I've just woken up, taking a nap is definitely on my to-do list for today. 

I look through drawers, trying to find any tea I can find. I really don't drink it much anymore, unless I'm hungover, which is a rarity, or if I'm in a situation like this, which again is rare. I yank out a crumpled box of some old tea I apparently had stored away. I set the flattened box on the counter and take out a packet of tea and place it in the cup, waiting for the kettle to whistle. 

I lean against the counter, and twirl the string of the tea bag around my fingers. I close my eyes and allow myself to imagine Blake's hair between my fingers. Daydreams of her hair, that I'm sure would feel like silk in my hands, are interrupted by the familiar cue to pour the boiling water into my cup. 

I reach over and absentmindedly fill my ceramic to the brim, and place the kettle back on the now unlit stove. I watch the tea diffuse from the bag, and pick at my nails, trying to focus on the background noise of celebrities being interviewed. Try as I may, I can't get her off of my mind. 

It's definitely going to be a very long day.

_

 After I had checked taking a nap, and drinking at least four cups of tea off my list of shit to do, it's finally almost time to go meet her. I should probably leave soon, now that it's seven, and I get lost pretty easily. 

I type her apartment address into my phone to see how far away from me she is. Surprisingly, she's not as far away as I was expecting; she's only about ten minutes. I'm not really one for taking a cab regularly, so I prefer most things within walking distance.  

I shrug on my jacket, and search for that hat again. It wasn't as chilly out, but it could be. 

After searching for that damn hat for about ten minutes, I found it shoved under all my other clothes that I should wash. I'll worry about that some other time. I pull on my hat, and rush out the door, in fear of being late. One thing I couldn't stand was being late, it was a pet peeve of mine. 

I pat my pockets making sure I have my wallet and my phone, while I walk out of the apartment complex I live in. I stand under the umbrella that's in front of the door, for rainy days, and begin the directions to her apartment. I watch my breath come out in puffs, and begin following the directions my phone was giving me. I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping this GPS wouldn't fuck things up like it did last time when I was trying to find the coffeeshop. 

After my first encounter with Blake I look around at the people around me, I feel more connected and present than I normally do. Most of the time I'm pissed off at something or someone. I allowed my mind to wander around to different people, it was better than being nervous, I suppose. 

It feels like I've only been walking for a few, when I find myself standing outside of the assumed building. I check my phone for the time, unfortunately I'm a bit early. I lean against the brick wall, crossing my arms. I tilt my head back and stare at the lack of stars in the sky. 

"You're early." I hear a small voice next to me. 

"Uh, yeah." I awkwardly smile. 

"Should we go then?" Blake tilts her head. 

"Do you want to?" I put my hands in my pockets.

"Do you?" She does the same, as it was a little chilly. 

"I asked you first." Blake genuinely smiles that smile again, and I find it infectious. 

"We can go." She stands in front of me. I nod in agreement, and try to think of conversation starters.

"Which way are we going?" She motions to both sides of her, and raises her eyebrows.

"Oh, this way." I point to the right, and start walking, hoping she'll follow. 

After I'm a few steps ahead of her, I hear her shoes catching up to me. 

"Where are we going?" Blake takes her hands out of her pockets and rubs them together, an attempt to warm her hands. 

"A special place." I had no idea what I was going to fucking do. Out of all things, I forgot to ponder this on my way over. 

"Fun." She fumbles with her hands again.

After a very silent, and awkward ten minutes of walking, we come across an old building I used to kind of work in. It's for an old sales company. I manned the reception desk sometimes forwarding calls, if I wasn't sleeping off a hangover on the ground. It was an alright job, and it paid well. 

"Hey, we're going to go in here, if that's alright?" I try to ignore the increasingly tense air around us.

"Yeah." She slowly nods, confusion extremely clear on her face. 

I open the door for her, and follow closely behind. I immediately recognize the blonde sitting behind the reception desk that took my job after I'd been fired. I walked up to Jamie at the desk, while Blake looked around at the waiting room paintings on the wall. 

"Hey Jamie." I whispered, tapping on the desk to get her attention. She looked up, eyes wide. 

"Harry?" She peeks out around me at Blake, but I step in front of her view.

"I was wondering if I could have the roof key? I forgot something up there from a few months ago, and I would like to get it before the weather gets worse." I cross my fingers in my coat pocket, hoping she would buy it.  Jamie looks behind her, and scoots in closer to me.

"You're really not supposed to be here. If anyone knew, you could be arrested again." She crosses her arms. 

"Come on, he deserved it." I look behind me at Blake, but she doesn't seem to mind the abrupt halt in my plans as she's reading a magazine from the rack. 

"You beat the shit out of him, Harry. You could've killed him. He was disgusting, but he didn't deserve to die." Jamie raises her voice slightly, but I put my finger to my mouth to remind her to keep it down. 

"Please, just this once. No one will know I'm here. If someone finds out, no one will know you were involved." I can see her resistance faltering. 

"Fine." She reaches to the key rings beside her, fumbling with the tangled mess. She hands me the pair for the roof. I nod my thanks at her, and start walking towards Blake. 

She closes the magazine, and places it back in the correct spot on the hanging rack. I walk to the elevator with her by my side.

"Where are we going?" She asks again, when she sees me press the top floor button. 

"To my favorite place." I fiddle with the keys in my hands as we pass by fifteen floors. When the doors open I hold out my arm to the side, letting Blake go first. She stops just outside the door, waiting for me to lead. 

I walk the familiar route to the small flight of stairs. I use the key to unlock the door to the rooftop, and hold my breath as I open it. I go out before her, seeing as it would be quite awkward to push myself up against the wall to let her go first. I step back allowing her to come through the small door. 

I watch closely, as her face lights up taking in the scenery. Blake slowly walks over to the ledge and peers over. 

"This is amazing." She whispers, smile slowly spreading across her face.

"I found out about this place last year when I worked here." I walk around to the shed, unlocking it. I pull out the two fold out chairs I had stashed here for long nights. 

"You worked here?" She swiftly turns around, eyes watching my hands as I set up the chairs. I motion down to the chair to the left of me for her to sit, and she smiles. 

"Yeah." I laugh at her lifted eyebrows and slight smirk.

"What happened?" Blake leans back in the chair, looking around at the other skyscrapers. 

I clear my throat, "I got fired." I lean back as she had done, and count the windows of the building to the right of us. 

"Why?" I watch her glance at me, returning her attention back to the scenery.

I stay silent for a few seconds, trying to decide if I should allow the information. 

"You can tell me." Blake whispers.

"I got in a fight." Thankfully we were sitting near a heat vent, so I wouldn't have to fear hypothermia. 

"I heard you talking to that girl, you almost got arrested?" She completely turned to me, crossing her legs.

"Yes, I got arrested. The charges were dropped, though." I subconsciously rub my fingers over my knuckles.

"Why did you get into a fight?" This is the most interested Blake had been, in me, since we first met. There was something about the way she softened when she asked me questions, I'm sure she could tell I would rather not answer. 

"That girl that I was talking to, her name's Jamie. We were friends, she worked as one of those people that brought coffee to all the assholes on the third floor, and I was the receptionist." I decide to not mention the fact I barely did real work or connected any actual calls. I remain staring out at the buildings, finding strength to continue when I see her nod in the corner of my eye.

I sigh, "Jamie and I would go out sometimes." I stressed, "Just as friends though. Anyways, long story short, this fucking asshole tried to do things with her a few times." I clench my fists at my sides, and shake my head.

"I promised her I wouldn't say anything for the first few months, but things got progressively worse. I couldn't stop myself from going to his office and beating the shit out of him. But, like I said, charges were dropped so the word wouldn't get out." I slowly turn my head to take in her expression about my story. She looked to me giving me a small, assuring smile.

"That was really nice of you, Harry." Blake nods along with her words, relief flooding through me.

"Where are you parents?" She asked, switching the mood. Looking at Blake ask my through her eyelashes made her seem younger. 

"My mom is back home in Holmes Chapel."  

"And your dad?" Her quiet voice reminds me to answer for both parents.

"I-I don't know." I sigh. I watched as her face dropped a little, but when she noticed I was looking she gave me a sympathetic smile. 

"Where are your parents?" I ask, looking at her expectantly. She diverted her attention to the ground, tilting her head slightly. I stay silent, allowing her to think about her answer as she had allowed me. 

"Why did you come to New York?" Blake completely ignores my question, but I allow it to slide. I could tell by the way her lips slightly turned down she would rather not talk about it. 

"It was spur of the moment, I guess. I was really only coming here as a trip, but I missed my flight and just never went back." I almost laughed recounting how much I hated New York my first day here.

"Why did you decide to come here?" The more questions Blake asked me, the more comfortable she seemed. 

"It was my first time being in America, and I always heard people talking about it." I start to notice the slight deviation of her features depending on the different things I tell her.

"What was it like back where you lived?" She brings her knees to her chests, resting her head on her hands. 

"It was alright." I lied. There wasn't anything specifically terrible about it, but I felt suffocated there. I had a normal life, normal mum and sister, normal school and friends. I just didn't like it, I always felt like there was something better for me out there, something that would be worth my while. 

"Why did you come to New York?" I counter, hoping she would answer me this time.

"Want to play a game?" Blake smiles, acting like I had never even asked her a question.

"Uh, sure." I tried to match her smile, trying to hide my disappointment.

"I'm going to ask you questions, and you answer." She watches me closely to gage my reaction. I nodded.

"Do I get to ask you questions?" I know the answer will be no, but it's worth the try.

"Maybe." She raises her eyebrow, smiling like she knows something I don't. When she's happy it's makes her more alluring then she already was.

"Age, favorite thing to do, favorite animal, favorite color, favorite food, aaanndd," She looked up at the sky, trying to think of the next thing she was going to ask me, "Why you sat next to me." Her last question surprised me. The other questions were normal get-to-know each other type things to ask each other on a first date, but the last one made me think carefully about my answer. 

"I'm twenty-one, sitting outside at night, I like lions and the color black, uh, pizza, and because you caught my eye." I watched as she digested my answers.

"Why did I catch your eye?" She asks, making eye contact with me.

"What book were you reading?" I suppose it was time for me to divert her questions. She looked at me for a few extra seconds, before dropping her gaze but promptly returning it, looking surprised.

"You didn't answer my question." Blake tiled her head, straightening her legs out, then crossing her arms. 

"You haven't answered any of mine." I was hoping I didn't sound to harsh, but she perked up at my tone I had taken with her.

"I'll allow one question." She laughed, crinkling her nose in the most wonderful way. I smiled, looking down at my hands, trying to think of something good enough to ask her. Until this moment, I hadn't realized how closely I had placed our chairs, and how much we had leaned into each other.

When I get the courage, I clear my throat and ask, "Why haven't you been answering my questions?" 

I can subconsciously feel myself leaning in, waiting for her answer. She looks down, smiling.

"I just find you too fascinating." Blake looks back up, eyes connecting with my lips. I take this as my chance to kiss. 

The moment our lips met, it was only her. Everything else slipped away, into nothing. All the continuous noise of the city, faded into the sound of my own heartbeat. The reason for my goosebumps was no longer because of the soft gusts of wind, but because of her.

I pulled away first, tucking pieces of fallen hair around her face behind her ear. 

"The Great Gatsby." She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"What?" I brushed the pads of my thumb over her cheek.

"I was reading The Great Gatsby." I smiled at her revealing such a small, but important thing. 

"You caught my eye because you're beautiful." I answer the question I had avoided.

The rest of the night we spent reliving old childhood stories, and making jokes to each other. It was when the night sky was getting brighter, and there were some minutes of silence, that I realized she had fallen asleep next to me. I didn't feel myself falling until I was already there.

"Harry." I heard someone whisper. 

"Mmm." I grunt in annoyance.

"You need to leave before a lot of people get here." I open my eyes to Jamie standing over Blake and I. She glanced over at the still sleeping girl next to me, but decided not to say anything. I nod, and rub my hands over my face. 

"Okay, we'll be out in a few." Jamie smiles at me and walks out of the door to the roof. 

Each time I reached my hand out to slowly shake her awake, I instead brush my fingers through her hair. After a few minutes of this, she stirs beneath me.

"Blake." I shake her. 

"Hmm." She raises her eyebrows, eyes still closed. 

"We need to go now." I whisper.

She sits up and stretches, slowly opening her eyes.

"Are you hungry?" I ask, but she shakes her head. I look down at my phone, seeing it's 7 am. 

"Come on lets go." I help her up, and she aids me in folding up our chairs and placing them back in the shed. 

When we get into the elevator, she avoids all eye contact I could possibly make with her. It's just as awkward passing 15 floors the second time, as it was the first. 

I allow her to step through the door again, and walk over to Jamie's desk, placing the keys on it. She winks at me, glancing over at Blake again. 

"Hope you had fun." Jamie whispers to me, holding her thumbs up as I walk over to Blake.

We walk out into the sunlit streets again, and I walk her back to her apartment. 

"I actually had a good time with you." I say, standing outside the entrance to her complex. 

"Mhm." She nods, looking down.

"I'll see you again then?" I put my hands into my coat pockets, nervously.

"Maybe." She turns and begins to walk into the door. 

I turn away defeated, before feeling a small hand wrap around my forearm, turning me. Blake places a quick, but endearing kiss on my lips. I can feel both of us smiling against each other. 

"I'll see you later, Harry." She breathily whispers against my mouth, turning away again. I watch her walk into the door without another glance my way.

I guess surprises where Blake's thing. 

___ sorry it took my ages to upload this chapter! 










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