"Hey, mom. Do you mind if I steal Bastiana for a moment?" Mom cuts into my grandmother's rambling about how amazing my boyfriend is, saving me from having to lie and tell her that everything is going well with us.
"Oh, of course not, Dear!" Grandma smiles at her. "I've been monopolizing her for too long, anyhow." She waves us away.
"Thank you." I exhale heavily as we step away from grandma. "That was getting to be a bit much."
"I guess I'm doing you two favors then." Mom laughs lightly. "I actually came over here to suggest you save Ryker from your cousins." She nods to where Ryker is sitting across the room on a couch.
Several of my younger relatives are climbing all over the couch around him and trying to get him to play with them. Dillon is sitting on the floor in front of him playing with a set of plastic dinosaurs that Grandpa gave him right after we got here.
Ryker has a scowl on his face, but I can see that he's trying to relax the muscles of his face so he doesn't scare the younger kids. He shifts uncomfortably as he tries to avoid eye contact with all of the children around him.
"Oof. Yeah, I got it, mom. Thanks." I smile up at her and turn to walk away but she stops me with a gentle hand on my arm.
"You know, now would be a really good time for a walk." She raises her eyebrows at me. I tilt my head in confusion, so she continues. "There's just enough time right now before we start white elephant, that if one was so inclined, it would be a good time to slip away. Maybe even put that new lighter of his to good use and relax." She pinches her thumb and pointer finger together and brings them to her lips as she gives me a pointed look. Understanding immediately dawns on my face.
"You're not a regular mom. You're a cool mom." I flash her a wide grin. I'm glad we don't keep secrets and that she was so cool about me smoking with the guys. She did, however, drill into me that that was the extent of her 'understanding'. No other drugs would be tolerated. Since I had no interest in other drugs, agreeing to her terms was easy. "I think I'll take a walk with the guys. The fresh air will do us good." I nod at her and turn to walk away.
"That's a wonderful idea, Bug." She says as I walk away.
As I approach him, Ryker must notice the movement because he looks up and his eyes quickly find mine. I can see the muscles in his body relax slightly. I give him a bright smile as I carefully step over my cousins and Dillon playing on the rug in front of Ryker and stop directly in front of him.
"Ry, would you like to go for a walk with me?" I ask him in a bright, cheerful voice.
"Definitely, B." He nods quickly and stands up. "Let's go." He wraps a hand around my waist and guides me away from the group of rowdy children.
"Let's grab Ash, too." I say quickly. Ryker nods and we look around the large room for him. When we don't see him, I glance down the hall and see a few open bedroom doors. "Maybe one of the boys dragged him in to play video games?" I suggest with a shrug.
"If you're looking for your tall, dark, and handsome friend," My cousin Shelly cuts in from her spot leaning against the wall next to the dessert table. "He went to the front sitting room with Tommy and Jake to look at Uncle Clark's record collection." She rolls her eyes and sighs.
"I see you're still bitter that he refuses your advances every year, Shelly." I scoff. "But thanks for letting me know where to find him." I smirk at her.
"Whatever." She mutters as she pushes off the wall and walks away.
"That girl is ridiculous." Ryker says quietly. "5 years of brush offs and she still tried a 6th time." He shakes his head with a small smile.
"And I bet she'll try again next year." I roll my eyes. "Come on, let's go find Ash." I turn and head down the hall towards the front room. Ryker falls into step beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
I smile as we step into the front room to see Asher sitting on the floor with my cousins as they look through a crate of vinyl records. They're talking animatedly about lead guitar players from the 70s and 80s when we walk in.
"Hey, Cuz." Jake says when he sees us standing in the doorway. Asher and Tommy turn to look and they both smile at us. "Your besties had an amazing season this year and now I find out that Asher knows every great guitar player of the 70s and 80s? I think I might like them more than you now!" He laughs loudly and high fives Tommy.
"Watch it Jake." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I still have that video of you and your besties from your first dance in 6th grade." I warn him with a smile. His face immediately pales.
"You wouldn't." He looks at me with wide eyes.
"Not as long as you remember who your favorite cousin is." I cross my arms over my chest.
"I'd never forget that you're the best cousin!" Jake says quickly.
"Good." I nod and give him a smile as he relaxes. "Now, your favorite cousin is going to steal my best friend for a little while. Ash, would you like to go for a walk to get some fresh air with me and Ry?"
"I'd love to, Doll." Asher smiles up at us as he sets down the record in his hand and stands up.
"Suck up." Tommy mutters with an eye roll.
"Guys, if you had best friends like mine, you'd ditch me for them, too." Asher laughs softly as he steps up to my right side and wraps an arm around my waist. He looks over at Ryker then down at me. "Come on guys. Let's blow this popsicle stand!" He turns us around and guides us to the front door.
"You're a dork." I shake my head softly and laugh.
"But you love me anyway." He grins at me as we stop in front of the coat rack.
"Clearly." I roll my eyes with a smile.
"So, why are we going for a walk when it's 30 degrees outside?" Asher tilts his head in confusion.
"Don't look at me." Ryker raises his hands in defense and points at me. "This was her idea."
"Throwing me under the bus? Low blow, Ry." I playfully swat at his arm. "But actually, it was my mom's idea." I tell them. "She figured Ry could use a smoke break." I add quietly.
"Josie suggested that?" Asher's eyebrows raise in surprise.
"Yep." I nod and smile. "She said we should put Ry's new lighter to good use. She thought you looked a little stressed out with all the kids around you while I was stuck talking to Grandma." I say as I turn to Ryker.
"Your mom is awesome." Asher laughs softly.
"And I totally agree with her." Ryker adds. "It just so happens that I brought one with me. I stashed it under the passenger seat of Ash's truck."
"Of course you did." Asher shakes his head softly.
"Excellent! Let's go!" I reach for the door handle but they each reach a hand out to pull me back.
"Did you hear the part where I said it's 30 degrees out, Doll?" Asher looks down at me with a pointed look.
"Yeah? And?" I ask, confused.
"You need a coat, B." Ryker scoffs lightly, nodding at my outfit.
"Oh." I say softly as I look down at my thin sweater and jeans. "Right. Because getting hypothermia is a terrible way to celebrate Christmas." I laugh and look up at them.
"Get a little too eager for a second there, Doll?" Asher smirks at me.
"Maybe." I cross my arms and pout childishly.
"Here, put this on, B." Ryker holds out the coat I wore here earlier for me.
"Thanks, Ry." I smile at him as I slide my arms into the sleeves.
Asher grabs his hoodie from one of the hooks near the door and pulls it on quickly. While Ryker puts his hoodie on, Asher leans down and zips my jacket up for me. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"I can dress myself, you know." I put my hands on my hips and narrow my eyes slightly at him.
"I know, but I wanted to help, too." He pouts playfully.
"Well, I wouldn't want to deny you the feeling of being useful, Ash." I tease him and roll my eyes. "Thank you for your assistance. Now let's get out of here before Shelly comes looking for you." I laugh as I pinch Asher's cheek.
"Enough said, Doll." Asher shudders and quickly pulls the front door open, standing beside it. "After you two." He gestures for us to walk out first.
"Why, thank you, kind sir." I giggle as I walk outside. Ryker steps out behind me and Asher follows, pulling the door closed behind him.
We quickly make our way to where Asher's truck is parked on the street. Asher unlocks it and we wait while Ryker grabs the blunt from his hiding spot.
"You got your lighter, right?" I ask as he walks back up to us.
"Yep. Even put fuel in it on the way here." He pulls it from his pocket and holds it up to show me. "Lead the way, B."
"This way." I say, pointing to my left.
The guys fall into step beside me, Ryker on my left and Asher on my right, and we start walking down the sidewalk away from the house. Asher wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me tight against his side. With the frigid air around us, I appreciate the warmth of his body next to mine.
Ryker quickly lights the blunt, ensuring that it's burning evenly before he hands it off to me. I quickly pull my hands from my pockets and take it from him with a smile. I take a small breath in, enjoying the warmth of the smoke filling my lungs, before releasing it with a small sigh.
"I almost forgot how much I like this." I laugh softly before I take another hit, a little bigger this time. I exhale slowly, coughing a little. I hand the blunt off to Asher and quickly tuck my cold hands back into my pockets.
"We didn't." Asher laughs as he takes a hit. "Do you know that Ry keeps one rolled at all times now?" He asks me as he exhales a large cloud of smoke into the cold night air. As he takes another hit, I turn to Ryker.
"Really? Why?" I ask, curious because he said he doesn't smoke much during the school year.
"In case you want to smoke." He shrugs and takes the blunt Asher holds out to him.
"Well, that's sweet." I grin up at him. "But you don't have to do that. I should probably learn how to roll them myself, and where to buy it in the first place." I laugh softly.
"No." Ryker says quickly, exhaling his hit in a short breath. "Don't do that, B." He shakes his head then takes another hit.
"Uh, why not?" I tilt my head in confusion.
"What he means, Doll." Asher says quickly. I turn to see him give Ryker a pointed look before he smiles down at me. "Is that we can get it for you and we don't mind rolling it for you, either. We don't want you to worry about finding a connect."
"Well, I could just buy it from the same guy you get yours from." I shrug. "Doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me."
"No." Ryker says again. I turn to look at him and see him holding the blunt out to me. I slowly pull my hands out of my pockets again and take it from him with a raised eyebrow. "Those guys can be shady around girls, B." He explains. "If you want some, just let me know. Or Ash. We'll get it for you. Okay?"
I take a long, slow hit as I consider his words. The feminist in me wants to brush off his concern and tell him that I can handle myself, but the best friend in me recognizes the worry and concern in Ryker's look and tone. He wouldn't say that unless he was genuinely worried about me going to buy weed alone. I exhale slowly, feeling a tickle at the back of my throat, but I don't cough this time.
"How about we compromise?" I suggest. Ryker furrows his eyebrows. I take another hit and exhale slowly as he speaks.
"What kind of compromise, B?" He asks cautiously.
I turn to hand the blunt to Asher, who's looking at me with a raised eyebrow and mischief dancing in his eyes. I flash him a wide smile before I turn back to Ryker.
"I won't go alone, but you have to take me with you next time you go re-up." I say sternly. "And you have to teach me how to roll." I add.
"I'll teach you to roll, but I'm not taking you with me, B. No way." He shakes his head resolutely.
"Why not?" I ask as we turn the corner at the end of the block, following the sidewalk around to our left.
"Something could happen to you." He says gently as he takes the blunt from Asher.
"But you'd be right next to me the whole time." I point out. "And you never let anything bad happen to me!"
"She makes a good point, Ry." Asher says with a sly grin. Ryker shoots him a glare.
"Totally!" I agree. "Come on, Ry! Please? Pleeeease? Please, please, please?" I bounce excitedly and my foot catches on a bit of uneven pavement. Before I can fall on my face, Ryker reaches out and easily steadies me with a hand on my arm. "See?! You wouldn't even let me fall." I smile broadly. "You just proved my point."
"I'll think about it." Ryker mutters after a beat of silence. He wraps his arm around my shoulders as he pulls me against his side. I sigh at the warmth radiating from his body as he offers me the blunt.
"I knew you'd cave." I grin as I take the blunt and bring it to my lips, inhaling slowly.
"All I said was that I'd think about it, B." Ryker says gruffly.
"Which means you'll cave." I laugh softly as I exhale. I take another hit before handing it off to Asher. I quickly tuck my hands back into my pockets, desperately trying to warm them up.
"Whatever." Ryker mutters.
We smoke and walk in silence for a moment, just enjoying the quiet company. As we round the next corner, continuing around the block, I decide to speak up again.
"Thank you guys for the gifts, by the way." I say softly. "I'm not sure if I expressed how much I love them, really."
"I'm glad, Doll." Asher smiles down at me as I hand him the blunt.
"Mine was dumb." Ryker mumbles quietly. "I should have gotten you something else." He shakes his head lightly.
"Yours was not dumb." I say sternly, stopping to turn and look at him. "Your gift was sentimental and sweet. 11 years of friendship is not dumb. And celebrating that by gifting me reminders of how it all started is incredibly thoughtful. I love your gift, and lord knows I'll use those band aids!" I laugh softly.
"I guess." Ryker shrugs.
"Ry, look at me." I use both my hands to pull his face to look down at me. "I loved your gift. It's better than anything I could have asked for. It's the perfect gift because you know me so well, better than most. Your gift reminded me of one of the most important days of my life. The day I met you. Please don't doubt that, okay?" I look into his eyes with a calm sincerity.
Ryker exhales slowly and nods softly. "I wouldn't dream of it, B."
"Good." I nod and give him a bright smile. I turn and continue walking down the sidewalk as the guys fall into step with me again.
"Your hands are freezing, by the way, B." Ryker laughs softly as he wraps his arm around my shoulders again.
"Sorry." I smile sheepishly at him. "But I needed to make a point." I laugh lightly. "And it's 30 degrees out here! What did you expect?" I roll my eyes as he takes the blunt from Asher.
"Fair enough, but my hands aren't that cold." He smirks at me as he takes a hit. "See?" He says, exhaling and moving his hand from my shoulder to the exposed skin of my neck. He presses his warm fingers against my cold skin and I suck in a sharp breath at the sudden change in temperature.
"That's just not fair." I sigh and shake my head. "How do you always radiate heat like that? You're like a human heater!" Ryker blows out a cloud of smoke and his shoulders shake lightly with laughter as he hands me the blunt.
"Guess he's just hot all the time, Doll." Asher shrugs.
Ryker starts coughing, dropping his arm from my shoulders and stepping away as he tries to recover. Asher laughs as he wraps his arm tighter around my waist and pulls me into his side.
"You alright, Ry?" I ask as he continues to cough. When he finally manages to take a breath in, he steps back up beside me as we continue to walk.
"Yeah." He says gruffly. "Just took too big of a hit, I guess." He coughs again lightly.
"Mhmm." I side eye him as I take a hit and exhale slowly.
We turn around the third corner as I take another hit. Ryker wraps his arm around my shoulders again as I exhale. I hand the blunt to Asher and tuck my hands back into my pockets.
"Your gifts were excellent this year, too, Doll." Asher says as he exhales. "By the way." He adds.
"Thank you." I smile shyly.
"Where did you find that ammo box anyway?" Ryker asks, referencing the army ammunition box I turned into a stash box for him. While my family was busy getting changed for the party, I snuck it down from my room and gave it to Ryker.
"I actually found it buried under a bunch of old uniforms at Myra's while I was looking for those t-shirts I got for my mom." I laugh softly. Ryker takes the blunt from Asher as I talk. "I was worried that I wouldn't find something better than the keychain for you, but when I found that I got the idea. And Myra gave it to me for free since I bought so many shirts that day. She said it was the 'loyal customer' discount, since I've been shopping there so much this year."
"That's cool." Ryker nods as he blows out a cloud of smoke. "And for the record, I love that keychain! I would have been more than happy with that alone, B." He takes another hit and adds, "But that box is pretty fucking cool, too." As he exhales the smoke.
"I'm glad you like it, cause I did the mods myself." I grin. "I added waterproofing and the foam inserts to keep things in place. There's also a hidden compartment."
"I'm impressed, Doll." Asher smiles down at me. "I thought you found it like that."
"Me too." Ryker says. "Now I love it even more, B." He offers me the blunt.
"No thanks." I shake my head. "My hands are too cold. I don't want to take them out of my pockets." I laugh softly.
"Okay, fair enough." He shrugs and hands the blunt to Asher.
"You know, there's other ways you can take a hit that don't require using your hands, Doll." Asher says. I look over and see him giving me a cheeky grin.
"What do you mean, Ash?" I tilt my head in confusion.
"Well, I could show you, if you want?" He offers.
"Okay." I shrug. "Show me the way, oh wise one." I tease him with a small laugh.
"Alright, but you have to stand still for this one, Doll." He grins as he brings us to a stop just after we turn the final corner. We're still several houses down from my aunt's, so no one will see us from here.
"What do I do?" I ask as he comes to stand in front of me.
"I'm going to show you how to do the stoner version of a 'shotgun', okay?" I nod at him. "All you have to do is inhale when I tell you to. Got it?"
"Sounds easy enough." I shrug with a small laugh. Just then, a cold breeze blows past us and I shiver.
"I got you, B." Ryker says as he moves to stand behind me. He presses his chest to my back and wraps his hands around my hips. I lean into the warmth of his body and sigh.
"Wow. You really are just hot all the time, aren't you?" I tease him. He clears his throat lightly and shifts a bit behind me. "My own personal heater." I laugh.
"Anything for you, B." He says quietly.
"Okay, you ready, Doll?" Asher grins at both of us.
I nod quickly and wait. Asher takes a step towards me, closing the distance between us so he's standing just a few inches in front of me. I watch as he takes a long pull off the nearly spent blunt. He reaches up with his other hand and gently wraps his fingers around the side of my neck.
I gasp at the unexpected contact and the warmth of his hand. How are they both so warm when it's freezing out here?
I don't have time to dwell on the thought as Asher uses his thumb to tilt my head back to look up at him more. He leans down until his face is just an inch from mine. His emerald eyes sparkle with mischief as he smiles at me.
"Inhale, Doll." He whispers to me.
Then he slowly exhales his large cloud of smoke into my face. I open my mouth slightly and inhale deeply, breathing in the smoke as he exhales it. As I take in the smoke, I also get the sweet, earthy scent of his cologne and the warm peppermint on his breath.
I can feel Ryker's grip on my waist tighten, and I wonder if he can feel the way my skin heats up in response to their simultaneous nearness. The way Asher's hand wraps around my neck, gently manipulating my head sends a shockwave across my body.
The gesture is surprisingly intimate and not at all what I expected. As he finishes exhaling, he leans back and gives me a small smirk as his hand drops from my neck. I slowly exhale and feel my skin tingle with goosebumps.
"Oh." I say quietly. "So, that's a shotgun?" I mumble. The combination of the thick smoke and both their hands on my body is making my brain a little hazy.
"Yeah. Was that okay, Doll?" Asher asks carefully as he examines my face.
"Oh. Yeah." I say quickly, clearing my throat lightly and stepping away from both of them, letting Ryker's hands fall away from my body. He looks down at me with wide, dark eyes. "That was good. Fine." I nod and look away from their intense stares. "We should probably get back for white elephant." I say, gesturing over my shoulder towards the house.
"Yeah, this is dead anyway." Asher says as he takes one last hit before dropping the end and stubbing it out under his shoe. "Let's go get you warmed up, Doll." He wraps his arm around me again as he and Ryker lead me back to the house.
I take a few deep breaths and try to process what the hell just happened. A million confusing thoughts swirl around my head as we step up to my aunt's house again.
One thing I know for sure: I'm not cold anymore.