Kennedy opened her eyes, rubbing the crustaceans in their corners away as the sunlight cascading into the room somewhat blinded her. That wasn't right. In her room, she had blackout curtains since it could take her eyes a fair bit of adjustment before she was able to really see anything. On top of that, she typically waited to put her contacts on until they were, which meant getting her coffee and eating breakfast was somewhat of a blur. Right now, she could see clearly and knew as soon as she ran her eyes over the room in her vision that she was definitely not home.
Jolting to attention, she felt an arm around her waist tighten and peered down toward the only partially foreign appendage, recalling just who held her so tenderly in the past. Finally recalling the events of the night prior, Kennedy craned her neck to glance back at her heartwarming captor and felt her face soften as she met Mikala's. Careful not to wake her, she slowly turned over and ran her eyes over Mikala's slumbering features cast in the early morning light that only seemed to make her even prettier. Kennedy hadn't thought about it much, although she wished she had, but Mikala was at her most beautiful when painted by the sun.
Remembering her sweat slicked skin as she hauled hay bales down the chute at the horses barn, or how the sunlight danced off of her cheeks when she watched Kennedy handling the bees from afar, Kennedy found herself mesmerized. Mikala was so pretty with her rosy cheeks and inviting features. Kennedy couldn't help reaching over and tracing her fingers along her velvety cheek, reminiscing about last night. However, as much as she desired enjoying being in her arms, she also recalled something she knew prior to last night, only finding out more about it over the party.
Mikala wasn't sedentary. In fact, her friends surmised that despite the fact that she was in a rent-to-own agreement for her beach house, she would probably go off traveling again. They couldn't be certain, but with how nomadic her life had been since her early twenties, Mikala's friends anticipated her wanting another trip before too long. Instead of asking, they just assumed as much due to her history and Kennedy wasn't far behind them. She also feared Mikala would leave, sooner rather than later, and she didn't want that. Nor did she desire forming an attachment with someone who would be gone, though she knew Mikala had genuine feelings for her.
Perhaps she could talk to her about it. Kennedy rolled over and shook her head at herself, staring up at the ceiling fan through an arched brow. Things felt like they were falling into place last night, but if Mikala really wouldn't be around very long, if she was actually planning to depart soon, what would that mean for them? Regardless of her recent courage, Kennedy knew she was still just as much of a coward as she touched her chest and felt her heart threatening to burst through her sternum. That plodding from which she always grew weary, downtrodden to her habitual despondence resonated against her hand and she eased her way off of the bed.
Luckily, Mikala didn't wake and Kennedy gathered her things, determined to keep that beating at bay before her heart shattered upon learning that this, the happiness she'd only just achieved, would soon be gone as she made her retreat.
* * *
"You sure it's okay for me to be here?" Hugo asked as he ran his eyes all over the Wilson's homestead. "Wow, you weren't kidding. This place is nice."
"It really is. And peaceful. And yes, it's fine for you to be here." Mikala hopped out of her Jeep and gestured toward the main house. "Go on and meet Charline and Bruce. They're great people."
"Alright. And you?" Her best friend began walking backward toward the Wilson's giant house as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "You sure you don't need the support?"
"Knowing you're here is enough support, bud. See you in a bit." With that she waved and he did the same before turning toward the main house.
Mikala hadn't been able to sit still since she woke up without the very person in her arms whom she wanted to see first thing that morning. She still wasn't sure why, but Kennedy had left before she even stirred awake and wasn't answering her calls or texts. Mikala racked her mind for what she may have done to upset her, but only one possibility came to mind. Perhaps taking her into her bed was too far. Perhaps she should have left her to sleep on the couch. God, I had perhaps and maybes... Mikala felt her shoulders slump as she approached Kennedy's tiny home and cleared her throat.
After getting permission from Charline to come check on her and learning she hadn't come out of her house since she got home that morning, Mikala was a ball of nerves. Had she really caused this response and if so, how could she prevent it from happening again? She knocked on the door, but there was no answer and after a few more knocks and minutes of waiting, Mikala's worry overtook her best judgment. She opened the door and stepped inside, running her eyes over the small living room. There really wasn't much to see actually and she tipped her head to the side as she ran her eyes all over the minimalist decor.
Against the left wall of the living area was a small loveseat that appeared handcrafted and old. It bore nicks all along the wood and a few posts along the arms were missing. Maybe it was handed down to Kennedy when she first moved into her own place. According to her parents, she'd paid for the home to be installed on the property just after high school and despite that, it didn't really have much of a lived-in feel. That made sense. Kennedy spent most of her time in the fields with the horses and bees, or at her parents house with them. From what Mikala could tell, she wasn't fond of being alone and had even gone as far as to build a three stall horse habitat at the back of her home.
Speaking of, when Mikala gazed over in the direction of where it would be, she saw a tiny kitchenette along that wall with a window that allowed whoever might stand there to look right at Mathias and Peaches. Softly smiling as she imagined Kennedy washing dishes there as she spoke to the horses, she heard a door opening from nearby and her eyes grew wide as she turned her head. Kennedy came out of what she assumed was a bathroom by the dense fog following her and the towel around her otherwise naked body. Kennedy hummed as she adjusted the towel around herself and lifted her head with a yelp upon seeing Mikala.
Her towel still hung open and it took everything in her not to run over and take her back into her arms. Mikala fisted her hands at her sides with a loud gulp as Kennedy feverishly fought to fasten her singular garment with frantic hands.
"What are you doing in here?" She practically shrieked as she walked toward her and hurriedly moved past her, casting the scents of the sea in her direction toward her.
Kennedy always smelled like ocean breeze, one of Mikala's favorite fragrances, and she fought to regain a modicum of resolve as she hurriedly closed her front door. "I... I-I..."
"Yes...?" Kennedy's features changed to that of concern and she locked her door with a furrowed brow. "Are you okay, Mikala?"
Shaking her head free from her scrumptiously sultry thoughts, Mikala finally replied, "I came here to ask you that." She crossed her arms and turned toward Kennedy. "Where did you go this morning? Or more importantly, why? Did I do something to upset you?"
Kennedy sighed as she brought her hand to her forehead, then walked back toward her bathroom. "Give me a moment." She disappeared behind the door and when she came back out, she had a silk robe covering herself. She tied its sash as she eventually explained, "I had...a few things to do and think about."
"Like what?" Mikala approached her with caution, watching the alarm beginning to coat her face.
"I... Just something I needed to consider to wake myself up." Kennedy jolted as Mikala arrived in front of her and took her hand. She stared down at it for several silent moments, then jerked her hand away. "Please, don't do that."
Feeling as though she'd been burnt, Mikala quickly surmised she wasn't welcome here and began backing away. "Sorry..." Her chest clenched as she tried to recall what she'd done, but what truly mattered was that she needed to leave. Kennedy obviously didn't want her there and she wasn't about to overstay her welcome when she glanced up at her with a face full of chagrin. "Um, I'll go. Sorry again."
Mikala walked as fast as she could toward the front door, feeling the fresh sting of tears biting her eyes, and took hold of the doorknob. "Mikala, wait I didn't mean--"
She sucked in a sharp breath and forced her tears back down her throat as she swallowed hard, spinning around with the door partially opened. "It's fine, Kennedy. I should've taken you not answering me as my answer. I just...wanted to ask you to dinner, but... Yeah, I'll go. Sorry."
Before her heart could break any further, Mikala briskly walked out as she ignored Kennedy calling behind herself, "Mikala, please just listen to--"
She closed the door and jogged toward her SUV, waving for Hugo who stood on the porch with Kennedy's mother to join her. She heard the door of the tiny home opening and continued her traipse, hopping up into her Jeep. Hugo ran over and did the same, saying something, yet all she heard was a muffled sound as her ears began to ring. Her tears broke past her eyelids and she hurriedly started her vehicle, putting it in gear before she or Hugo had gotten their seat belts strapped. Hazarding a glance up toward Kennedy one last time, she saw sorrow coating her features, but didn't stay. She couldn't. Not any more or when the open road was calling her name.
All the maybes or perhaps couldn't prepare her for this and she knew what it meant. Rejection. Kennedy had come out, but she wasn't ready for them to be together. Or perhaps, just maybe, she didn't feel the same way about her in the clear light of day. She peeled out of there and didn't look back as the pain in her chest reminded her why she traveled so often, promptly beginning to think out her next trip so that she could run far and wide from a mistake she hadn't realized was the end all to the most joyous time of her life.
* * *
Kennedy plopped down onto her loveseat as she rubbed her face, then sat back. She dropped her hands and glanced around herself, feeling as though her moderately decorated home wasn't that any more. It was missing something. Or rather, it was missing someone. She sighed with strain as she looked from her TV hung on the opposite wall and eyed the ferns hanging at its sides just as a knock came at her door.
Hopeful that it might be Mikala having returned, she ran for it, but felt her face fall when she opened it. "Hey, mom."
"Hey, lovebug. What just happened with you and Kala?" Her mother asked as she grasped her upper arms and caringly gazed into her eyes. She broke down and swamped her mother into a tight hug that was met with gentle caresses along her back. As Charline gave her soothing rubs of comfort, she ushered her further into her home and over toward her loveseat. She sat her down and held her closely as the tears just wouldn't stop. "Can you tell me what happened, Kennedy?"
"I... I ran away... Again." She leaned along her mother's side and sniffled into her shoulder as she felt her petting the back of her hair.
After several silent moments of comfort, her mother eased her up and cupped her cheeks, rubbing her tears away with her thumbs. "Kennedy, I'm going to tell you something and I need you to hear me. You deserve happiness. You deserve everything your father and I said before and more. Now please, tell me why you can't just let yourself be happy with Mikala?"
"She..." Kennedy sat up and began drying her tears with the sleeves of her robe. "Mikala travels. A lot. What if I finally accept her advancements and she goes on another of her long trips? What if she finds a place she'd rather live that isn't here? I can't just wait around forever and I don't ever want to be the person who stops her from being herself."
"And you think she feels any differently, lovebug? I've seen the way she looks at you." Kennedy glanced over at her mother and found determination across her face. "That girl wants to know you, Kennedy. I don't think she'd leave if you gave her a reason to stay. So why don't you talk to her and give her that very reason?"
Kennedy furrowed her brow and thought for a moment. Not once had Mikala brought up leaving. Not once had she given her the impression that she was disinterested in her. Not a single time had Mikala given her anything aside from the most supporting, fervent care and she was trying to own her beach house. At first, Kennedy assumed the worst, presuming that she just wanted a place to hang her hat when in town. However, she hadn't actually asked Mikala.
"I..." Kennedy wasn't sure what to say and her mother took her hands into her lap, sending her an encouraging grin.
"Mikala, what is it that you want out of life?"
"I...want to train horses, maintain the bees and..." Kennedy tried ducking her head, but her mother ushered it back up with a hand under her chin.
She directed her to look back into her eyes. "And...?"
"And...I don't...want to be alone. I know I have you, dad and Jimmy, but I just want..."
"More." Kennedy nodded and her mother took her back into her arms, rubbing circles along her back. "And you should have it, Kennedy. Tell Mikala what you want. Tell her how you feel and I guarantee you, she won't leave any time soon. And who knows," She pulled back and cupped Kennedy's cheeks once more. "Maybe she'll take you along with her on her next trip."
The thought hadn't even crossed Kennedy's mind. What if Mikala asked her to join her next road trip? What if she didn't take one at all? Kennedy bit down on her bottom lip, then released it with a pop as she thought of how her life might be in the future. In every scenario, there was her parents, Jimmy...and someone else. Someone without whom her life would still be led in regression and tumultuous sorrow. Someone who'd given her the courage to be herself. To strive for more of what she wanted.
"I want to be with her."
"Then go tell her, lovebug. You know, she's called me three times today and texted even more. She was worried about you. I think she's been thinking about you and only you all day. You know what that tells me?" Kennedy shook her head and got to her feet along with her mother. "You two need to talk and remember it's alright to be happy. Together."
Softly grinning along with her mother, Kennedy pulled her into a brief, but snug hug. "Thank you, mama. I'm going to get dressed and take the truck. May I?"
"You are more than welcome. Go get your girl." Her mother began toward the front door, but paused with her hand on the doorknob as she called over her shoulder. "Oh, and tell her we'd love to have her over for dinner before our trip."
"Will do."
Kennedy hastily ran for her bedroom and shed her robe as soon as she entered. She hurriedly got into a pair of cut off jeans and a v-neck shirt, not bothering to get any underwear on her body. She couldn't. Not when she had so much to do. She slipped on her sandals and ran back through her house, ready to take on a new lease on life and a chance that she hadn't ruined the best thing to walk into it in years.