"I refuse to think that these two aren't together," mumbled Gisele to Charles as the two of them were watching Michele and Laubrac sneaking glances at each other. "It's simply impossible."
Vergoux looked at her with amusement.
"I agree," he said, taking a drag of his cigarette. "But they remind me of someone."
Gisele turned to her friend with curiosity.
"Really? Who?" she asked. "I mean, Simone and Jean-Pierre would be fitting, but now that they are out and about-"
"It's not about them," interrupted the boy. "Try harder."
"Uh... Pichon and Annick?" she tried once again. "But it's one-sided, because Annick does not like him that way."
"Nope."
Gisele was thinking over every possible candidate, but she came with nothing. And then, as soon as the vague idea appeared in her mind, her eyes widened.
"Is my brother sneaking around with someone?" the girl asked, looking at Charles with expectation. "I mean, it would be great if he was, but why would he-"
"It's not about Jean, Gigi," said Charles with a sigh, seemingly having had enough. "It's about you. You and Joseph, in particular."
What. The. Fuck.
Since when did he know about her and Joseph? Were they really that obvious? If Annick knew and Charles knew, then it was already two too many people for the secret to stay hidden. And Jean was not going to like it, once he realised everybody apart from him knew, even if it was nothing serious. What should she do? Should she act stupid? Should she admit the truth?
Gisele let out a nervous chuckle.
"What about me and Jo?"
"You two have that stupid arrangement going on," replied Charles, taking out another cigarette. "And I'm certain that it will do no good. To both of you."
Gisele pursed her lips.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, playing with her fingers. "There's nothing between me and Jo. Nothing other than genuine friendship, that is."
"Gigi..."
"No, Charles," she interrupted, looking in his eyes stubbornly. "Why is everybody acting as if they know better than us two? I'm tired of all those assumptions and questions and everything else."
"Maybe they see things that you don't?"
"Not possible," said Gisele, irritated. "I'm a very self-aware person, thank you very much."
"Really?" asked Charles sceptically. "Then why is he the only person who can truly calm you down? Why are you the only one to see him without his eyepatch? Why are you two always so touchy after drinking?"
"Stop it, Charles," murmured Gisele, choosing to stare at her own shaky hands rather than at her friend.
"Why is it him that you're showing your vulnerable self to? Why are you the only one he listens to? Why did you tell Yves and the others that you are together? Because yeah, they did tell us about that and-"
"I said stop it!" Gisele's irritation turned into anger, for some reason, and she physically couldn't listen to anything Charles had to say. "You think you are so smart, so observant and so- I just can't listen to all that bullshit!"
"That's just because you know it's the truth," pointed out Vergoux, his gaze fierce and not ready to retreat.
"No, it's not," said Dupin through gritted teeth. "And I'm going to fucking prove it."
Gisele started looking around, watching the people on the school yard and choosing her victim. Once she noticed some older boy, tall, with blonde hair and stern expression, she smiled triumphantly.
"Just fucking watch," she hissed to Charles without sparing him a glance, then fixed her hair, put on an innocent smile and stood up.
Approaching him was easy to do, even despite the fact that he was with his friends. It's not like Gisele cared about the possible rejection; she was there to prove a point, to show Charles she had no qualms about asking out someone other than Jo.
The boy had a bored expression on his face, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a cigarette. As soon as Gisele came up to him, he turned towards her, but if her sight surprised him, he didn't show it anyhow.
"Hello. What's your name?" asked Gisele, looking up at him with a sweet smile.
"Blaise," he said, his voice deep and cold. "Blaise Deschamps. Why?"
Oh the irony, thought Gisele, fighting the groan that was threatening to escape her throat. She couldn't have picked an Allard or a Blanchet; of course she went for someone whose even the name was so similar to-
"Descamps? Aren't you the girl who's always with him?" asked some friend of Blaise, looking down at her with a strange expression.
Gisele chuckled as if he said something funny, even if he didn't. It was the easiest way to get the boys to like you, after all - acting as if they were something more than they really were.
"We're friends, we met through my brother," she said, maintaining a smile. "I'm Gisele. And... I was wondering if you are free on Saturday. To go to the cinema. WIth me."
She looked down, as if she were embarrassed to ask Blaise out, as if she was afraid of rejection. In reality, she couldn't care less.
"Why me, in particular?" he asked, huffing out the smoke straight into her face. Gisele barely stopped herself from scowling; she might be a smoker herself, but he didn't know that, obviously. His behaviour was a way to assert dominance, a way to show that he had power over her and that she couldn't afford to react anyhow. She already disliked that guy.
"Well... You're a handsome boy," she shrugged, sending him an awkward smile.
He smirked at her words.
"Alright, then," he said. "Saturday, 7 o'clock. I'll see you at the cinema."
Such a gentleman, she scoffed internally. He didn't even propose to pick her up.
"See you, then," she chirped happily, before turning on her heel and heading back towards the bench Charles was sitting on. This time, she couldn't fight the scowl that appeared on her face; she really hoped Blaise would say no.
When she took a seat next to Vergoux, sighing heavily, he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"That's pathetic, Gigi," he said finally. "Stop running away from your own feelings."
Gisele closed her eyes, tired of the whole conversation, then tilted her head back.
"Shut up, Charles," she mumbled in the end, acting as if she didn't agree with his words.
But she did. She thought of herself as a pathetic creature, a girl so afraid of her own self that she would rather run away than deal with it. Gisele might act as a warrior, a person who wasn't afraid to speak her mind in front of the others, but when it was just her, she was a runner; one who would never stop unless she was forced to.
And she hated herself for that.
***
"I have a date," announced Gisele, sitting next to Annick. The blonde girl looked at her, surprised at first, but almost overjoyed a second later.
"Fucking finally," she said with a wide grin. "Where is he taking you? As much as I don't like Descamps, I would assume that he probably know what girls like, especially-"
"It's not with Jo," interrupted Gisele, feeling an unexplainable wave of embarrassment creeping over her.
Annick put her book down, quite shocked with her friend's words, before turning to the other girl and sending her a blank stare.
"Then with whom?" she asked finally, a confused tone in her voice.
"With a boy," replied Gisele, clearing her throat. "An older boy. His name is, uh, Blaise Deschamps."
"You've got to be fucking kidding me,"mumbled Annick in response. "What the fuck, Gigi? Why would you mess with him like that? Why would you mess with yourself?"
"I am not messing with anyone!" protested Gisele. "It was just a stupid situation and I fought with Charles and everyone keeps insinuating that I'm in love when I'm really not and I'm afraid that-"
"That we are right?" cut in Annick, looking at the brunette sternly. "You can be denying it however long you want to, but you're only going to hurt yourself in the process. Yourself and Joseph. And as much as I don't like him, such treatment is one that I wouldn't wish upon anyone."
"Am I really so awful?" asked Gisele, tears in her eyes threatening to fall down. "All of you keep saying that what I'm doing is bad. You act as if I'm playing with his heart, but in reality, he hasn't said a word about it. Hell, he never even said anything even remotely romantic! Why would I believe you when you say that the fucking something is between us, when he never even gave me a reason to think like that?! It's a fucking game! It's a fucking game and we're fucking playing and he doesn't! Fucking! Care!"
Silence. The suffocating one, the kind to gnaw at Gisele's throat, to squeeze the tears out of her eyes and to wound her in an almost unimaginable way. The silence that made her think and that made her regret, made her want to scream and to run away; one that Gisele never really learned how to escape from.
"You don't have to believe us, Gisele," Annick's voice was tired and the girl was gathering her things and just where the hell she was going. "But it would be nice if you believed in him, at the very least."
***
Saturday came faster than Gisele would have liked it to. She was staring at her own reflection in the mirror, wondering if she really was making a mistake; if that one, stupid date was going to change everything. Because it surely felt like it was.
Why aren't I happy, wondered Gisele. Why am I not giggling and twirling my hair, not worrying what to wear or what to say. Why do I feel like I'm messing up, even if I'm not doing anything wrong.
The weather was good that day. The Spring was in its full glory, the whole world filled with beautiful flowers, with chirping birds and kids playing on the streets. There wasn't one walk home where either her or Jean wouldn't accidentally bump into any of the children, because they were so focused on whatever game they were currently carrying on, so immersed into their own, happy bubbles that nothing else really mattered to them. Gisele was envious of their carelessness; she would give anything to experience it once again.
She stood up to find any suitable dress for the occasion, eventually going for the bottle-green one that she often wore to school. It was nothing special, but she didn't feel like dressing up at all, so she grabbed it quickly and went to put it on.
Jean wasn't home, since one of their neighbours, Mr Martin, asked her brother to help him with something. Mr Martin was a kind man in his fifties, always one to experiment with any tools he found in his shed, and Jean has been his chosen apprentice for longer than Gisele could remember. She sometimes joined the two, but mostly watching from the sidelines; fixing things has never been her greatest forte - she was usually the one to destroy them.
Her brother knew that she was going out, he just assumed that it was with Annick and Gisele didn't correct him. He never really cared who she dated or kissed, but she didn't want him to know why she decided to go out with that boy; for some reason, she found it to be humbling.
Another thing was that Gisele definitely didn't want Joseph to know about the date, which was weird on her side. They didn't promise each other anything, after all. There was nothing bad in hiding it from him, right? Even the best of friends didn't tell each other everything.
But if so, then why did she feel so bad for hiding it?
The sun was slowly coming down, it was getting colder and Lucie was making her little frog noises in the tank placed on Gisele's drawer. The frog has been living with her for a few weeks already and the girl grew attached to the animal; it might not be as affectionate as dogs or as graceful as cats, but for Gisele, she was perfect.
Jean acted as if he didn't want anything to do with Lucie, still pretending to be irritated with his sister's sudden change of decision, but Gisele caught him trying to play with her twice already. Charles found the fact that they had domesticated a frog incredibly funny and he reminded them of that every time he was coming over. Joseph, on the other hand, was the proclaimed dad of Lucie, often buying her treats and new tools or plants to place in her tank.
It was adorable, actually, how much he cared. Gisele was well aware of the fact that touching the frog was grossing him out to no end, but he still made the effort to overcome that aversion anytime he had the chance to do so. And when Gisele saw him gently caressing Lucie's head for the first time, so careful not to hurt the animal, she almost felt like she was in-
Why am I even thinking about him when I am going on a date with someone else, thought Gisele with frustration, deciding that it was the time to stop brooding and just get the whole affair over with. She grabbed her purse and headed downstairs; whatever was going to happen would happen anyway, after all, and her opinion on that didn't matter in the slightest.
She put on her shoes as if she was on autopilot, not bothering to grab a coat since it wasn't really that cold outside. She was just about to open the door when she heard the ringtone of their phone and, willing or not, she went to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Jo? What is it?" Gisele didn't really expect her friend to call, since he was usually the one to just come over and say anything he had to say face-to-face. It was surprising.
"My parents are going out," she was certain that the boy was smirking on the other side of the line. "And I know that Vergoux is busy, but if you and Dupin are free then we could... I dunno, just hang out, I suppose. Are you in?"
Oh, Gisele definitely was in. In the middle of a fucking dilemma, because what she was supposed to say? She really wanted to just say yes, to go and spend a nice evening with Jo and maybe her brother, if he was done already, but the date... ditching Blaise would only prove Charles' point and as much as she didn't like to admit it, she was a petty person and a stubborn one at heart.
"I... I know that Jean is busy right now, so I'll ask him and let you know, alright?" she proposed nervously, hoping that the boy wouldn't catch the fact that she didn't give him her own answer.
"Yeah, sure. What about you, though?"
"I'll call you back," her answer was rushed and Gisele was hoping that Joseph didn't hear that through the phone. She put down the receiver, ending the call, then groaned audibly.
Just what the hell was she supposed to do?
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i've been kind of losing my mind lately so please forgive me for such a short chapter. and for the fact that i update so rarely. i am truly sorry but i cannot help it.
well, at least me and gigi are going crazy together, i suppose.
anyway, did you like the chapter? our girl is making some bad decision and she's not thinking clearly but well, everybody is like that sometimes. for her it's just a little more frequent than for others.
well, i hope you've had a great time and tysm for reading this byeeeeee