• TODAY - THE SMASHING PUMPKINS
TWO DAYS GONE
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☠︎︎ 𝚃𝙾𝙼'𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝚅
"Her first time on the edge, scars will stay forever," Bill sang before clearing his throat and leaning back away from the microphone, glancing at me through the glass room once I called his name.
"Bill, just one more time." I said as Georg leaned back in his chair with a snore, making me look at Bill with a slight grin. "One more."
"Yeah, I'm just tired of singing the same shit over and over again when it was perfectly fine the first time." He said quietly. "You don't think we're tired of hearing it?" I smirked and re-rolled the tape.
"It's getting light outside. She is still there, but no one cares. They sang her happy birthday yesterday, without her," Bill started again, his hands on the noise blockers he had on and his head tilting slightly while he sang.
Bill was the same in the studio as he was on stage. He's always had great talent. Everyone always knew Bill was different.
Gustav looked at me, and then at Bill. He glanced at us but just continued to sing.
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☠︎︎ 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈'𝚂 𝙿𝙾𝚅
I walked into a spare room, stripping my clothes down to my underwear and bra and throwing them into the corner before I turned away to grab a shirt out of my bag and put my gun in there.
I'd been to afraid to use it. I didn't know how to use a fucking gun, why did I have it?
We'd gotten back about ten minutes ago.
The first thing I wanted to do was have a shower, but I couldn't.
When I was in the bathroom, I saw the bruise on my left breast and on my cheek. I didn't pay my mind to them. I couldn't without breaking down in tears.
I grabbed the blue long sleeve, squeezing it lightly before unwrapping it and taking out the photo of Seb and I. I sat down on the bed, looking at it for a moment before putting it face-down and tugging my shirt over my head.
My fingers gently touched the engravement on the back of the photo of a small heart, flipping the photo back over before leaning to grab the book out of my bag and pull it open.
It looked like a diary. But I knew Sebastian would never have a diary. He just got drunk to deal with his problems; but look where that got him.
"23, 07, 1991. Little Mandy and little Seb. Welcome into this shit world." It wrote in spaced, cursive writing with a small photo of me in Seb's arms as an infant. I could see Mum in the background with a beer, talking to dad.
So these were memories?
I gripped through the pages quietly, my eyes flickering over them. There were memories and a few logs.
I peeked at another page, tilting my head slightly at the man in the picture with Seb. His face was tucked behind. I pulled it forward, my eyebrows furrowing.
It was Vince.
This wasn't even that long ago.
There was a bit of blood on that page. It was smeared across a few words. "Tape 4, 06." It wrote. "428." --- Fuck, this was too confusing. Seb was always like that. He wouldn't tell you anything unless he made it challenging.
They were holding huge bags of meth. I'm talking pounds. In the photograph, of course. It made me wonder if it was stolen.
"Smoke or sell?" It had beneath. I sighed heavily, glancing at the black car behind them.
. . .
I leaned closer, my eyes flickering to the license plate for a quiet moment as I ran my thumb over the picture of the two, and took it out of the slip to fold it and tuck it into my pocket. I grabbed the book, glancing at the back and spine.
"Get out."
My head immediately turned, and I jolted, dropping the book and standing up as I quickly looked over to where I was sitting. "Fuck, what the fuck," I panted quietly, my hands going to the back of my head.
It struck me like a truck. I was suddenly shaking, and my eyes were darting all around the place.
"Where did you come from?" I whispered, turning to look at the closet and pulling it open to look in the mirror and watching my brother walk past me in the reflection. But there was nothing there but the smell of gunpowder, gasoline, and rotting stench.
I immediately turned, my eyes flickering over the darkness of the room before I backed into the closet and closed the door, sitting down as I hugged my knees tight and closed my eyes.