~• Song reference: Dancing with your ghost •~
*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*
WOOYOUNG
"Wooyoung what the fuck have you done?!"
Wooyoung stood staring at the blaring fire in front of him.
"You useless piece of shit, you had one fucking job!"
Eight year old Wooyoung was way beyond confused. It was 8pm at night and somehow he'd managed to lit their kitchen on fire. He could've sworn he turned off the cooker after he'd made the food he was ordered to make. Yet again he had accidentally left his father's alcohol bottle near the cooker and anyone who read instructions would've know that shit was flammable. Now his father was losing his absolute mind over their whole place being on fire.
"Call the fucking police, you idiot! And get out of here!"
Wooyoung retreated back to his room, grabbing the phone his mum left for emergency situations and calling the police before exiting the building. But he paused in his tracks once he was outside, remembering vividly that his brother was in the shower when they noticed the fire.
"Wait.. Doyoung is still in there."
Doyoung had a habit of blasting music while taking a shower so the possibility of him hearing what was going on was low. He may have smelt burning but who was to be sure.
His father turned around, "Well then go get him."
"But that's-"
"You fucking set the place on fire, go get him!"
Wooyoung was terrified but he headed back in, calling for his brother's name. He called at least five times trying to make his way to any area that wasn't already burning. He noticed that his room was already gone along with Doyoung's which was right next to his.
"Hyung!", he couldn't hear any verbal response but there was a wooden banging coming from the living room. He immediately ran to the direction of the noise, gasping when he noticed the lower half of Doyoung's body was trapped under rubble. From the looks of it, he definitely realised there was a fire and quickly got dressed. His hair was still damp and his shirt was glued to his skin as a result of not drying off properly. Wooyoung raced to him in an attempt to pull him out, grabbing the arms of his older brother.
"Wooyoung get out of here, you're gonna get hurt!"
"Dad said- to come and get you-", Wooyoung strained, "I'm not- leaving without you."
"Wooyoung please."
Wooyoung was starting to cry, trying to push the rubble off him and hurting himself in the process, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Listen to me for once, Wooyoung. Please just leave. I'll be fine, hm? I'll be out there with you before you know it."
"I'm not going.", he muttered, eyes flooded.
Doyoung looked at him desperately, "Wooyoung, I'm begging you. I promise I'll find my way out. Just go. Please."
Wooyoung shook his head, still attempting to push the rubble back. He was always known to be a stubborn kid and now may not have been the best time to be stubborn but Wooyoung did not have the courage and heart to leave his older brother behind. The sheer thought of his closest to moral support leaving him had him scared shitless to the point he was willing to die with it.
To die with his older brother.
Wooyoung noticed the whole place turning into ruins and began to get even more panicked. Maybe death was a scary experience.
Doyoung held Wooyoung's hand, "I'll be fine, hm? You wouldn't want your older brother worried about you, would you?"
Wooyoung shook his head.
"Then go. I promise you're gonna be okay. Everything will be okay. Trust me on this one, hm?"
"You'll be okay?"
"I'll be okay. Just find someone. They can get me out. Go before you get hurt. You'll be fine."
Wooyoung eventually nodded, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. When he came outside covered in soot and dust he was quickly embraced by his mother who had just arrived from work. There were already sirens being heard while fire fighters arrived at the scene.
Wooyoung looked up at his mum, "Hyung is still in there. He's trapped- I couldn't get him-"
He watched his mum slap a hand over her mouth, informing the men immediately while they were escorted to somewhere safer to stay. As they entered the car, Wooyoung looked back to the same home he'd grown up in fall apart just like his own family before his very eyes.
It didn't help that his mum was sobbing by his side and his father was muttering curses upon curses. Wooyoung hoped they had managed to rescue Doyoung. In all things, he loved his brother the most. Without him, he felt like nothing.
Which was why Wooyoung felt his world break when the police reported to have found Doyoung dead by the time they reached him. Apparently the pressure and heat had been too much and he'd had a cardiac arrest. To top it off, Wooyoung always knew he was claustrophobic. And so that whole scene would've been a whole different amount of stress and anxiety for him. Autopsy reports also showed that his leg bones were crushed under the rubble so even if it had been lifted off him, he wouldn't have been able to walk.
He blamed himself. He wasn't able to get him out quick enough. And he relied too heavily on the police to reach his older brother on time.
They were taken to see him one last time before he was to be cremated.
Wooyoung couldn't even cry. He couldn't react. And while his mother was on the floor, crying her chest out, Wooyoung stood and stared at his body. Including the face that was able to charm dozens of people.
While Doyoung went to the same school as Wooyoung, before high school, he would often catch people looking at him. He was the centre of attention. Not a day went by when a girl didn't approached him asking for him number, asking him out on a date or giving him gifts.
Along with the looks, Doyoung was clever. Too smart for someone his age. Doyoung was always top of the class in everything he did, including sports and had won almost every single academic competitions he'd entered.
Now he was lying here lifeless, his potentials and dreams thrown out the window and Wooyoung couldn't even shed a single tear. He stared at the body, unable to move, hoping that he could turn back the hands of the clock and replace himself with Doyoung.
The family of now three were offered a temporary home to stay in while they recovered from the loss of their current one. And everyday was a nightmare. With his only comfort gone, Wooyoung was forced to face another ten years of hell.
After his brother's funeral, once they were back at the temporary home, Wooyoung felt a strong grip on his arm as he was thrown on the floor harshly, scraping his knee. He glanced up in fear, unsure of whether to be confused or desensitised.
"It's your fault. It's your fucking fault.", his father took his belt off, "I swear I've been patient with you all the while but I've had it with your useless incompetent fucking ass!"
He had never seen such hatred in a man's eyes as he did that day. When the was being whipped, he truly felt like he was nearing death. As bizarre as it sounded, Wooyoung wished he could flog him till death. He was sick and tired of everything.
After all, he killed his own brother.
He was a murderer.
____
Wooyoung's eyes fluttered opened and he stared at the ceiling of a hospital wall. He blinked slowly. That was one hell of a long dream. If he could even call it a dream. He felt a tear roll down his eyes to his ears seeing as he was lying on his back facing the ceiling.
What a fucked up world.
It took him a while to realise someone holding his hand. And when he turned around he was met with the worried eyes of San with a bandage strongly wrapped around his head.
"Y-You're awake."
He wished he wasn't.
He slowly sat up, feeling a sudden sharp pain in his head and winced slightly.
"What day is it?"
"Friday. You were gone for like two days. Thankfully nothing too bad happened to you. You're alright."
Wooyoung stared at his hand that was still in San's. Upon noticing it, San's face became flustered and he instantly let go.
"I'm sorry.", he flushed.
Wooyoung realised his hands were soft. San must've moisturised them. His stomach rumbled loudly and he placed a hand over it.
"You haven't eaten in ages so it's expected. I'll let the nurses know you're awake so they can treat to you.", San told him, getting up and leaving.
As soon as San left, Wooyoung stood up and walked to the window, staring out. He just needed a reality check. He was now in a hospital after surviving yet another fire. Maybe his life was built to always be wrecked in fire like that. After all that was where he lost the most important person to him.
Wooyoung sat in front of the window and looked out. It'd been ten years and yet every time he remembered that Doyoung was gone, he simply couldn't believe it. He hated living with that sort of fact. It pained him everytime. And worst, it caused him to remember that it was his fault. That he should've tried harder to save him. Maybe if he'd pushed hard enough on the rubble, Doyoung could've gotten out.
Everyday, his words played fresh in his mind:
"I promise you're gonna be okay."
"You'll be fine."
Wooyoung wondered what his older brother would think if he was still alive in regard to the life Wooyoung was currently living. He was far from okay. He was far from fine. It was one problem after the other.
He didn't love himself anymore because the only person who did was gone. Now he felt isolated and lonely. It didn't matter how many people he'd surrounded himself with. Whether it be Seonghwa or Yeosang or his so called friends from middle school. No one could fill in that void, that missing hole in heart that Doyoung had once been able to.
He was on his own in this world.
And he was not fine.
*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*
The following week, everyone was back at school and still stories of what happened at camp hadn't died down. San had requested to have a conversation with Wooyoung after school the day after so he agreed. It seemed pretty serious.
Wooyoung went back to working at Meraki and San made it a habit to come when he could. Especially since he now had his own job.
Wooyoung was cleaning up the cafe after everyone had left that day when he heard a knock on the door. He stood up to see Seonghwa, running up to it and opening the door.
"Hey.", Seonghwa smiled, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay."
Seonghwa nodded his head, tucking his hair behind his ear, "That's good to hear. I was worried you'd hurt your pretty self."
Wooyoung cheeks were pink.
"I'm here to help. And to ask you for a favour."
Wooyoung was willing to do whatever this favour was so he nodded almost on impulse. Seonghwa sat on one of the tables and Wooyoung followed him.
"It's about San. I get the feeling he has a lot going on. And as his friend, even though he doesn't see me as one, I need to make sure he's okay. San hasn't received a hug in ages. So can you do it for me? I need him to know he's not on his own. And since you're someone who's close enough to him he should let you. Oh and kiss his cheeks. San loves cheek kisses. Makes him feel better."
It was an odd request. Wooyoung didn't know why he needed to do that for Seonghwa. Not that he was complaining, he just found him strange. But he nodded nonetheless.
After they'd cleaned up the area, Wooyoung remembered he'd been meaning to as Seonghwa a question.
"Hyung..", Seonghwa turned to look at him, "During camp last week when the fire happened, after you left to check on what was going on.. what did you do after that?"
Seonghwa blinked at him, "..Oh! I informed the teachers you were still inside. But San decided to run in to get you anyway."
Wooyoung held his hands in front of him, "Oh. Okay."
"Is there a reason?"
Wooyoung shook his head. During the walk back, that was what pre occupied his mind. He had thought at one point that Seonghwa just wasn't bothered enough to come back. Which was reasonable. No one smart would run into a fire, especially just to save him. But something at the back of his mind kept telling him that Seonghwa just wasn't the one. He seemed to care less the more Wooyoung got to know him. He tried not to dwell too much on it however and just went with it.
The following day, San approached him after school at the school garden, a plaster on his forehead due to a wound that was still healing.
San seemed awkward at first but he eventually decided to speak, "I know it's strange to ask you to come here just to talk to you but I have to go to work straight after and this is pretty urgent. I- look, you need to be careful with Seonghwa."
Wooyoung rose a brow, "Seonghwa?"
San nodded, "I know you like him but there are things you don't know about him and it's not in my place to say what it is but I'd advise you to be careful. I don't want you getting hurt."
Come to think of it, ever since he got into whatever this was with Seonghwa, all San had told him was to avoid getting hurt. Why would Seonghwa hurt him?
He then remembered that he'd been asked to hug the taller. With a little hesitation, he took steps forward and hugged San, much to his surprise. In addition he got on his toes and kissed San's cheeks like he was told to. Hopefully this would make him feel better for whatever was wrong with him.
Wooyoung watched his hand reach his cheeks where he'd been pecked, eyes staring forward into nothing.
"Uh... San?"
San's head slowly moved down to look at the shorter, his mouth still slightly open. From the looks of it, he must've been shocked.
"You were saying?"
"...Nothing.", he didn't even look like he was thinking, "Just be careful..."
"Oh.. well okay then. If that's all- I should get going."
"Mhm.", San nodded dumbly.
Wooyoung went back to the student dorms, still confused on what the whole essence of Seonghwa's request was.
*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*