" TO MAR JAO " she shouted pushing him all at once.
" Print it in your mind Mr Anirudh Roy Choudhary I am never leaving you. I am never going to leave you. main khushi khushi khudko aapke andhere mein khone ko taiyaar hun agar mujhe kisi aur ki roshni ko apnana pad gaya to. "
" kya chahiye tumhe " he asked gritting his teeth in anger
" aap " she replied with a soft voice that shocked him to the core .
He stilled.
His heart skipped several beats.
" aap chahiye ho mujhe. Suna aapne AAP. Sar rakhne ke liye aapka kandha aur dam todne ke liye aapki baahein. Yeh chahiye mujhe. De payenge aap "
Yes! He wanted to say yes to the girl who was clinging to him since he poured out his past in front of her. She sobbed so hard into his chest for hours as if she was reliving each moment of his pain he has gone through. His each tears were pouring down from her eyes. He didn't wanted her to go through the pain but somewhere in the corner of his heart he felt immense gratefulness for the girl who loved him to an extent to feel his pain.
When Anirudh felt like he was in love it was the moment when Saudamini walked into the room with beauty that will put shame in the Angels of heaven, twirling the single strand of hair.
His heart fluttered whenever Saudamini laughed at his silliest joke. He felt immense pleasure whenever she dressed up for him.
But his heart never stopped seeing Saudamini. It only happened when he locked gaze with the innocent brown orbs battling for her life in the forest.
He often thought about the girl who came into his life unexpectedly and it filled him with never ending guilt as he was married. He thought he was married to the love of his life and thinking about another girl felt like a sin.
But who knew the sin he thought will be his life one day.
And who knew the girl he thought is a headache is his long lost love from childhood who came to the world just for him.
Fate?
Destiny?
What ever you call it. He was only meant to be hers and now he's rightfully there where he belongs.
In the arms of the girl who loved him with other worldly passion.
" Bas bhi karo Bondita. Saare ganga jamuna agar yahi baha dogi to asli ganga jamuna mein baadh aajaegi. " He spoke patting her head which rested on his chest while she cried endlessly.
" Ek aur baar majaak kiya na muh tod dungi aapka. " She lifted her head and threatened with glassy eyes and running nose.
Anirudh chuckled while wiping the snot of her nose with his thumb lightly .
" Mera muh tod diya to bacchon ki shakal acchi nahi hogi, sochlo madam. Mujhe mera beta aur beti ek dum hoor jaise dikhne chahiye. Beauty contest main first aani chahiye meri beti aur mere bete ko Dev Anand ko competition dena hai. Jab wo kaale suit mein jaaye to ladkiyan behosh honi chahiye. Ab meri shakal bigad gayi to kaise...sundar banenge? Ab tum to banda-matlab mendha-ouch "
" Bandar? Mendhak? College mein miss fresher aur miss farewell dono main hi bani thi. " She said with confidence and fake anger, punching his chest.
" Kyunki tum apni class mein akeli ladki thi. HA " he said teasing her and ended up making her smile.
When she started laughing he took her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. She sighed and brought her hands up to his face.
" Mere liye aansu bahane ki koi jarurat nahi hai. "
" Aur hai hi kon mera aansu bahane ko. " She whispered against him.
She was right. For whom else she would shed her tears. She never remembered anything in her life, not even her real parents but she remembered him. Forget about remembering, he never left her mind since she met him in the forest. She carried him in her heart for 9 years now. The thought of anything happening to him was enough hell for her.
Tears well up again as she imagined there was a time when he wanted to end his life and knowing it made her feel like she's the one dying.
" Fir se kabhi aisa khyal mat Lana. Kabhi bhi aisa khyal mat Lana" her voice cracked.
" Mere paas koi wajah nahi hai ab. Meri khushiyan mere saamne khadi hai. Haan agar wo chod ke chali jaaye toh-"
" Main kabhi nahi jaungi, pakka main kabhi bhi nahi jaungi. Jitna jhagda ho, jitni ladhaai ho main kabhi nahi jaungi. Shotti" she pinched her throat, showing off the innocence that prevailed in her eyes.
He pulled her in his embrace, closing his arms around her tightly and even lifting her to the air. She wounded her arms around his neck and made herself lost in the pool of his essense .
" Tumhe kisne keh diya ki tum meri khushiyan ho. Main to book ki baat kar raha tha"
This time he earned much more hurting slap on his chest .
..................
Bondita placed the khichdi Bowl beside his bed rest drawer. The sound of thunk made him wake up from the slumber. Binoy took one look at her face and knew it all that she got to know about his deeds from the past. He could easily feel the hate, the angst and disgust in her gaze.
" Bet-"
" Mujhe lagta hai unhone Jo kaha aapne suna nahi. Wo aapke kuch nahi lagte. Iss hisaab se main bhi kuch nahi lagti aapki so please don't bother about it . " Bondita said in a clipped tone which her husband used often.
She never knew she would feel such hate towards someone. She never even hated her mami who tried to sell her to an old man. Even her Mami had some twisted kind of sympathy in her. Her mami would beat her, spat her but at the end of day if she's silent she would give food to her. Her mami gave her shelter whenever she needed. But Binoy....oh she had lost all the faith in him thinking he wasn't worse.
She was wrong though he was the worst.
" Mujhe apni galti ka pachtawa hai" he suddenly spoke in a whisper.
" Toh? " She said turning to him as she was just reaching the door.
" Boliye na toh kya? Aapke pachtawa karne se aapke bete ke wo 6 saal wapas aa jayenge. Boliye kya unki 6 saalon ki sukoon ki neend wapas aa jayegi jo unse cheen gayi thi ? Kya aapke pachtawa karne se woh apna darr bhul jayenge? Khud ko kosna band kar denge ki unki maa ki mout ki wajah wo hai ya unke patni ke chod jaane ki wajah wo hai ya unhone apna baccha kho diya jo saudamini didi ne gira diya uski wajah wo hai? Boliye kya wapas de sakta hai unhe aapka ye pachtawa? "
Her tears began to fall again as her voice went high pitched. Her heart bled just thinking how many times he would have blamed himself for the crimes he never committed. How many times he cried to himself for the loss and hiding the pain from every body. No wonder he got so cold. No wonder his heart went stone.
" Wo mujhe tak khud se dur karne wale the kyunki unhe lagta tha ki wo ek shraap hai. Jo bhi aurat unke paas aati hai wo unse door chali jaati hai. Main hospital mein behosh kya padi thi uss aadmi ko maine rote bilakhte dekha hai mere liye.... kahin main bhi unse door na chali jaun. Aapko pata bhi hai aapne kitna bada jhakham diya hai apne bete ko? Unka darr 6 saalon tak nahi gaya uncle...6 Saal. "
The only thing Binoy felt was remorse.
" Apne maa ke jaane par aansu tak nahi baha paaye wo.....6 saalon tak muskurana bhul gaye, hasna bhul gaye, jeena bhul gaye..... Sirf wo hi nahi ghar me sab ne kuch na kuch kho diya. Kyun uncle? Kyun kiya aapne Aisa? "
Tears welled up in Binoy's eyes, the full weight of his mistakes pressing down on him. He had been blind, his pride and rigid beliefs clouding his judgment. He thought he was preparing Anirudh for the harshness of the world, but in doing so, he had become the source of his son's deepest pain.
" Mujhe laga ki main...dono baap bete mein gile shikhwe Mita dungi. Kyunki main nahi chahati thi unhe bhi meri tarah mouka na mile ki.... main apne maa baap Ko kho chuki hun main nahi chahati unke sath bhi aisa ho. Par ab main samajh sakti hu ki kyun wo aapse naraaz hai. Kyun wo aapse nafrat karte hai. Aur unki naraazgi sahi hai. Agar wo aapko kabhi nahi maaf karte to main samajh sakti hu kyun nahi karenge. ....... aur main bhi ab chahti hu ki woh naa karein."
He wished he could go back, rewrite the past, and be the father Anirudh deserved. But he knew it was too late for that. All he could hope for now was to make amends, to show his son that he was truly sorry.
Binoy closed his eyes, the tears slipping down his cheeks. The remorse was overwhelming, a constant ache that gnawed at him. He had been wrong, so terribly wrong, and it had taken this moment of vulnerability to see it clearly. He could only pray that one day, Anirudh might find it in his heart to forgive him, and they could begin to heal the wounds that had festered for so long.
" Main uss din do arthiyaan uthata . Mera baccha phaasi laga raha tha khud ko. Jiss bacche ko ungli pakad kar chalna sikhaya uss din wo phaasi ka fanda laga raha tha gale mein. Meri patni jo pehle se hi apne bete ke gham ko dekh kar tut rahi thi aur uss din usne dum hi todd diya apne bete ko dekh kar. Kya Anirudh tumhaari choti si chot se pareshan nahi hota? "
" Par wo apne bacche ka antim sanskaar to nahi karwaate na jeete ji jaise aapne kiya . " She raised her voice.
" Nahi, shayad nahi " Binoy gulped but stated his answer. " Par main bhi ussi cheez se gujar raha tha jisse wo guzra hai. Shayad main bhi ussi tarah boukhla gaya tha jaise wo tumhaari ek chot se pareshan ho jata hai. Gusse mein tha, anarth ho gaya mujhse. Kya Anirudh ne gusse mein kabhi galat kadam nahi uthaya?"
" Aap jaante hain aapke aise kehne se sab kuch justify nahi ho jayega. " She sighed looking at his bed ridden figure.
" Nahi " he stared at her. " Par Anirudh mera beta hai aur us mein mera pagalpan hai. "
" Aap kehna kya chahte hai? " She looked at him strangely.
" Hum pyaar mein kisi bhi hadd tak gujar sakte hain, yahan tak ki humara parivar bhi hamein nahi rok sakta. Main yeh nahi keh raha maine jo kiya sahi kiya. Main bas aakhri mouka chahta hu, ek maafi. Warna main shubhra ko muh nahi dikha paunga. "
" Jiske aap gunehgar ho sirf wahi aapko mouka de sakta hai aur maafi bhi. " She said before closing the door.
Bondita breathed heavily recalling the conversation again. And honestly she was terrified how the conversation turned out to be. It's true that Anirudh loses his senses whenever anger clouds his judgement. The time she was in hospital he was ready to cut all the ties with his family just for her. And now it terrified her to which extent he would go if something happened to her.
She doesn't want him to be another Binoy.
................
" Hmmmm.... kya hua kis soch mein pad gayi ? " His chin rested on her shoulder and arms around her waist , pulling back to him when she was busy admiring stillness the night outside of the window .
Bondita came back from her chain of thoughts as she couldn't forget the conversation that happened today. But she caused him enough trouble bringing out his past so she decided to hide her newfound fears that took place in her heart.
" Soch rahi thi honeymoon pe kahan chale, kyunki Darjeeling to main ghum aayi hu Swati ke saath. Aur Shimla mein jaana nahi chahti. Baaki Tirath ki jagah to jaa nahi sakte to jaaye kahan?" By the time she turned, his arms were not around her anymore and his expression was turned into a frown.
" Kya? Aise kyun aankhein phaad rahe hai?" She asked.
" Tum... tum iss kamre mein Swati ka naam tak nahi logi" he whined like a small kid who was jealous as if his mother was pampering any other kid.
" Kyun? " She was genuinely confused.
" Tum..bas nahi logi maine keh diya" he looked away feeling the jealousy burning up. He knew that Swati was harmless but still he couldn't help himself and feel jealous of her. Swati was more close to his wife than him and she has said more terms of endearment than romeo said to Juliet.
When it clicked she laughed holding her stomach. His frown turned into an annoyed expression.
" Aa-p hahaha....Swati se . Ohhh god" it was melodious to his ears but still he was annoyed.
" Han hun main jealous Swati se... khush" he snapped at her causing her to stop whizzing . He was embarassed to explain his jealousy too. What would she think if she learns that he was jealous of the fact Swati could put hands on her without any limit . Call her by names, kiss her cheek whenever she want.
She shook her head with a smile and went to him as he grumpily sat on the bed.
Without any warning, she sat on his lap wounding her arms around his neck. To which he hid his smile and put hands on her waist to balance her.
" Aapko kisi ne mana thodi na kiya hai mere paas aane se. " She whispered gliding her finger against his cheek .
" Aap jab chahe mere paas aa sakte ho" she said kissing the place behind his ear seductively causing him to shiver.
" Jab chahe mujhe baahon mein sama sakte hai " she placed a kiss on his cheek causing him to tighten his grip on her waist. The grip sends an electrifying sensation to her core.
" Jab chahe mujhe kiss kar sakte ho" she said kissing the corner of his lips.
And suddenly her breath hitched and she was rolled and suddenly she was under him. Her hands locked above her head and his hands gripping down them with such force that could have break things but somehow it was gentle on her. He was just a breath away from her. His orbs were boring holes down at her somehow she didn't mind.
" Bohot mushkil se khud ko rok rakha hai. Kyunki mujhe tumhe ek aisa ehsaas dilaana hai jo tum kabhi soch bhi nahi paogi . Par agar tum aise mujhe behlaogi to rokna mushkil hoga mere liye " his nose was grazing hers and her chest was heaving and pressing to his hard chest.
" To mat rokiye" she said breathlessly. Her breath fanning on his lips.
To her answer he lowered himself and inhaled her sandal wood fragrance right off her neck and placed a kiss on her weakest spot.
" Pehli baar tumhe kuch dena chahta hu. Usse yaadgar banane ka haq mujhse mat chino. "
.................
Bondita searched through the scattered documents on the table to find one clue, any clue she gets. But it wasn't easy. To find a trace of a person who vanished years ago wasn't easy.
Old newspapers, passport documents, the newly established identity documents for Indian citizenship, or rules to get British citizenship. There was nearly a mountain of documents around her table now. She was glad that she didn't have to hide her secret mission under Anirudh's nose because she was no longer in his cabin as his intern.
It surely hurt a little to leave that cabin as it holds ton of memories. The secret glances, the long hugs, the stolen kisses, feeding eachother ... this cabin has seen it all. The very first time she came to his cabin unconscious in his arms. Then she was his intern. But the last time she came to his cabin... she came in as his wife.
Anirudh requested a lot to her that he'll build a cabin for her but she politely declined. She made it here on her own and she wanted to get success as a barrister as her own not because of her husband. Anirudh gave her a proud smile then nodded at her wish.
So here she was, in the outside premises of the court where every other aspiring barristers were working.
An envelope was suddenly slammed on her table, on the pile of newspapers. She looked up and smiled.
" Rakhi tak nahi reh paunga iss liye abhi se apna gift de kar jaa raha hu " Mohit smiled.
" Thankyou par yeh hai kya? " She asked.
" Saudamini bhoumik aka Betty Greenwood ke documents along with Satyajeet Bhoumik. "
Bondita's eyes lit up with excitement and she got up and gave him a hug. Mohit patted her hair with brotherly affection then let her go when he felt everyone's gazes.
" Tum pakka Byomkesh bakhshi ho " she was greatful for the information.
" No thanks, mujhe aur kaand me nahi phasna. " He joked.
" Par tum unke baba ke documents kyun laaye mujhe to sirf unka address chahiye tha. " She asked, finding it strange.
" Bondita maine John Greenwood ke baare mein pata lagaya tha. Somehow unke London residency ka number bhi mil gaya. Par wahan koi Betty Greenwood naam ki ladki nahi rehti. Aur naahi saudamini. "
" Par aisa kaise ho sakta hai? Unhe to London me hi hona chahiye na "
" Kya pata Bondita? Aisi aurat ka kya bharosa. Aagaya hoga koi aur naya ya fir chod diya hoga uss Greenwood ne tabhi to uske father ke documents laya hun. Atleast uske pita ko to pata hi hoga "
" Thanks again "
Mohit smiled but there was a hint of seriousness and worry flickering in his gaze. " Kya tumhe lagta hai ye sab sahi hai? Wo jaa chuki ab iss sab ka kya matlab ? "
Bondita smiled sadly. " Ho sakta hai koi matlab nahi hai. Ho sakta hai ki main pagal hun. Par main chahti hun patibabu ko ek apology to kam se kam milen. Trust me Mohit..... unhone bohot kuch saha hai. Unke gunahgaron ko unse ek maafi to maang ni hi chahiye na? "
" Tumhe lagta hai wo aurat raaji ho jayegi? "
She hardly believed it but she could give at least one try. " Nahi, par main usse raaji karwake chodungi. Mere patibabu ne uske liye bohot aansu bahaye hai. Usse uski keemat to chukani hi padegi "
She went home to tell her husband that she got a case and for which she have to go out of Bengal. In reality she wanted to find Satyajit Bhoumik who was last seen in uttar pradesh.
The study was locked but she could clearly see her husband and
The photo which broke her heart.
I'm not really sure how the conversation between Bondita and Binoy turned out to be. But I think that was needed not for the present only but for the future. I am seeing the declining in the comments as most of the regular readers stopped commenting other than 2/3 readers. One of the reason I'm not dragging this book. And the votes too aren't increasing. Well it is what it is.
Maybe I'll introduce the new character in the next with the reveal.
Stay connected if you want to know what happens next.
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