[Jake has an overload late at night and Carrington comforts him!]
cw: overstimulation/shutdown
~•~
Jake was sitting in the hallway with his hands clutching over his ears, and his face in his tucked up knees.
Tears dampen his plaid PJ covered knees as he keeps his head firmly in place. He was frustrated.
Today didn't go as planned and it all came flooding out this late evening. He didn't want to show this vulnerability towards anyone, so he kept it to himself. He thinks he's the only one awake, but Carrington was awake in his room.
Carrington had heard the soft sniffles coming from the hallway. It wasn't hard to tell someone was crying. He walked out of his room and peered into the hallway, looking around to see who was up.
His eyes landed on Jake, curled up in a ball. He frowned. He walked over and knelt down next to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," he said quietly, "are you okay?"
Jake jolted in surprise. Lifting his head up and uncovering his ears, his eyes are wide when he realizes Carrington was sitting with him. He just nodded, but his tearful eyes said otherwise.
Carrington noticed the nod, but also the look in his eyes. He could tell that Jake was definitely not okay. He sighed and sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "You don't have to lie," he said gently, "I can tell you're not."
Jake immediately scooted away. Shaking his head, he didn't want to be touched. He flapped his hands as he closed his eyes.
Trying to calm himself down rather quickly now, but unfortunately that wasn't working and it only made him spiral more into overstimulation.
Carrington frowned again when Jake moved away. He didn't like seeing him like this, but he also knew that he needed to give him space. "Sorry," he said, putting his hands up in a surrendering gesture.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He watched as Jake flapped his hands, noticing the signs of overstimulation. "Hey, hey," he said softly, "it's okay. You're okay."
But Jake wasn't speaking, he was currently shut down at the moment, a soft grunt came into response.
Carrington could tell that Jake wasn't responding verbally. He knew that sometimes people went nonverbal when they were overwhelmed.
"Can you look at me?" he asked gently, keeping his voice soft and calm. Jake's brown eyes slowly looked up at Carrington.
Carrington smiled softly when Jake looked up at him. "There you are," he said, his tone still gentle.
"I know you're struggling right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay?" He paused for a moment before continuing. "Can you tell me what's going on? What made you upset?"
Jake shakes his head, hyperventilating a bit. He was too overloaded at the moment to talk or anything.
Carrington noticed the hyperventilating and became more concerned. He knew that he needed to help Jake calm down before he got too overwhelmed. "Hey, hey, slow down," he said, keeping his voice calm and steady.
"Take deep breaths, okay? In and out, just like me." He took a few deep breaths himself, hoping that Jake would follow along.
The punk hyperventilates for a few more moments before he starts to try and copy Carrington's deep breaths. He continued to flap his hands as he stared across the hallway, staring at his bedroom door.
Carrington watched as Jake tried to copy his breathing. He kept taking deep breaths, counting silently to himself to keep his own breathing steady. "Good, you're doing good," he encouraged, "just keep breathing. In and out. Slowly." He continued to watch Jake, noticing how he was staring at his bedroom door.
Jake slowly closed his eyes as his hand flapping slowly became less frantic and more calming. His breathing is shaky yet relaxed now.
Carrington smiled softly as he saw Jake's breathing become more relaxed. "There you go," he said quietly, "just keep breathing. You're doing great."
He waited a few more moments before speaking again. "Can you tell me what you were looking at?" he asked, nodding towards the bedroom door.
"My door," Jake finally spoke after a moment of being nonverbal. He opened his eyes. "Nothing in particular, just the door."
Carrington nodded in understanding. "Just the door, huh?" he said, still keeping his voice soft. "Can I ask you something?"
Jake nods his head, biting on his snake bites. His hands gripping at his hair as he tugs on it occasionally.
Carrington notices the tugging on Jake's hair and frowns. "Hey, don't do that," he said gently, reaching out to pull Jake's hands away from his hair. "You're going to hurt yourself."
In an instant, Jake grabs Carrington's hands and squeezes them. His brown eyes are avoiding eye contact as he just stared at the roommate's hands.
Carrington is surprised by the sudden grabbing of his hands, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he gently squeezes back, trying to offer some comfort. "It's okay," he said softly,
"I'm here." He looks down at their hands, noticing how tightly Jake was holding onto him.
"What is the question?" Jake mutters, speaking up again after an utter of uneasy silence.
Carrington takes a moment to collect his thoughts before speaking again. "Well, I just wanted to ask if there's anything specific that's bothering you. Something that's causing you to get so worked up." He looks up at Jake, meeting his gaze. "Is there something you need to talk about?"
Jake immediately nods, pulling his hands back as he looks up at Carrington. His voice sounded overstimulated as he talked, "Th-the whole fucking day was ruined! my routine- wa-was thrown off completely! and i- fucking didn't wa-wake up on time as usual and that threw off everything! And then- I lost my footage for my YouTube video this week and then i forced myself to go to that party earlier and those lights and music were overbearing and I just couldn't take it!!"
Carrington listens attentively as Jake rambles on about his day. He can see the frustration and exhaustion in his eyes.
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," he says gently, placing a hand on Jake's shoulder. "It sounds like you had a really tough day."
He pauses for a moment, processing everything Jake had just said. "You know, it's okay to have bad days. It's normal. And it's okay to need some time to decompress after something stressful."
Jake flaps his hands more frantically as he panics, "No no! because now everything is ruined! my routine for this week is now thrown off completely because now I need to figure out a different idea or a stream or something!!! and I need to get back on track and it's fucking AUGH!" He screamed into his hands.
Carrington winces as Jake screams into his hands. He can see how much stress and anxiety Jake is under. "Hey, hey, calm down," he says, trying to keep his own voice steady.
"I know it's frustrating, but you don't need to get so worked up. You can't force yourself to come up with a new idea right now. You're exhausted and overstimulated. You need to take some time to rest and recover before you can even think about working on something new." Carrington comforted.
That's when Carrington realized, this is a big deal. Especially for Jake. He knows his roommate has autism, but has never seen Jake have an overload before.
Carrington's heart sank as he realized the gravity of the situation. He had seen Jake deal with stress and anxiety before, but he had never witnessed an overload like this.
He knew that this was something that Jake struggled with and that it could be incredibly difficult for him to manage. He took a deep breath and tried to remain calm for Jake's sake.
"Jake, listen to me," he said firmly, but gently. "I know you're upset, but you need to try and take some deep breaths, okay? Can you do that for me?"
Jake grips his hair again, tugging on it as he shakes his head. "Everything for this week is thrown off, it's fucked up, God damn it, what do I do what do I do.." He panics.
Carrington notices Jake's grip on his hair again and gently pulls his hands away once more. "Hey, hey, stop pulling your hair," he says firmly, but still gently.
"You're going to hurt yourself. And as for what to do... you need to take a break. You're exhausted and overwhelmed, and you need to give yourself some time to recover. You can't force yourself to work when you're like this. It's not healthy." Carrington frowns.
"You're right.." Jake squeezed Carrington's hand. "Maybe I should take a break for the rest of this week.. so i can get my routine back together and then post a YouTube video next week.."
Carrington nods in agreement. "That sounds like a good plan," he says, giving Jake's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Take some time to rest and relax. You've been working really hard, and it's okay to take a break. And don't worry about the YouTube video. You can work on it next week when you're feeling better. The most important thing is taking care of yourself right now."
Jake nods, slumping his head onto Carrington's shoulder. He looks so exhausted from the overstimulation.
Carrington wraps his arm around Jake, pulling him closer. He can feel the exhaustion radiating off of him. "It's okay," he murmurs, rubbing Jake's back gently. "You're okay. You're safe here. Just relax and let yourself rest."
"I need to go to my room." Jake abruptly gets up and walks down the hallway to his room.
Carrington watches as Jake gets up and heads to his room. He feels a pang of worry in his chest, but he knows that Jake needs some space right now. "Okay," he calls out after him. "Just let me know if you need anything, alright?"
"Alright," Jake replied as he entered his room. Shutting the door. He crawled into his blankets, pulling the weighted blanket over himself. He grabbed his phone, watched Netflix on it, and a comforting show to help ease his tension.
Carrington lets out a sigh as he hears the door to Jake's room close. He can't help but worry about him. He knows that Jake is sensitive to sensory overload. He decides to give Jake some space for now, but he makes a mental note to check in on him later.
About an hour or so later, Jake's laughter can be heard from his bedroom. Sitting at his computer and playing a game on it, which he doesn't do very often, but it was still fun nonetheless.
Carrington is sitting in the living room, scrolling through his phone, when he hears Jake's laughter coming from his room. He can't help but smile, glad to hear that Jake is having some fun. He stands up and walks over to Jake's door, knocking gently. "Hey, can I come in?" he calls out.
"Huh?! Yeah!" Jake called as he takes his headphones off. He turned in his swivel chair, smiling a little.
Carrington opens the door and pokes his head into the room. "Hey," he says, smiling back at Jake. "I just wanted to check in on you. I heard you laughing and I wanted to make sure you were feeling better."
"Yeah, I'm good now, thank you" Jake looks at the clock on his computer, seeing it was 1:54AM. "I should probably get some rest, I have to wake up on time tomorrow."
Carrington glances at the clock and nods. "Yeah, you should definitely get some rest," he agrees.
Jake looks back at his computer, saving his game progress and then exiting it. Turning his computer on sleep mode as he gets up and stretches.
Carrington watches as Jake saves his game and shuts down his computer. He can see the tiredness in Jake's eyes, and he feels a pang of sympathy for him. "Are you sure you're okay to sleep now?" he asks, just to be sure.
Jake nods. Yawning into his palm. "Yeah, I think so. I need it anyway. That was a mess earlier." His eyes looked a bit red and puffy from those little tears he had earlier.
Carrington notices the puffiness around Jake's eyes and feels a pang of sadness. "I know," he says softly. "But it's over now. You did great, you know. You handled it well. And you're doing better now, right?"
"Yeah, uh- can you get me some water from the kitchen? If you don't mind." Jake replied with a small smile.
Carrington nods. "Of course, I don't mind," he says, returning the smile. "I'll be right back." He turns and walks out of the room, heading to the kitchen to get Jake some water.
Jake waited in the hallway, tapping his fingers on his doorframe as he watched Carrington came back.
Carrington returns a few minutes later with a glass of water in his hand. He hands it to Jake. "Here you go," he says, his voice gentle. "Drink up."
Jake drinks the water down, it really helped too. Once he finished gulping the cup of hydration, he handed the glass back to his roommate. He kissed Carrington's cheek. "Thank you." As he went back into his room and closed the door.
Carrington feels his cheeks flush slightly as Jake kisses his cheek and closes the door. He stands there for a moment, a small smile on his face. He can't help but feel a warm feeling in his chest.
He's always been fond of Jake, and moments like these make him feel even closer to him.
He decides to head back to the living room, his mind still lingering on the kiss.
Carrington returns to the living room, feeling content. He knows that Jake is safe and sound in his room, and that makes him happy.
He continues to scroll through his phone, but his mind is still on Jake. He can't help but wonder what it would be like to have more moments like this with him, to be able to comfort him and show him affection whenever he needs it.
But for now, he's content to just be his friend and roommate, and to be there for him whenever he needs him.
And that's enough.
The end
(2,418 words)