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T R O U V A I L L E
53
"The choices we make alter the details to our fate."
???, Pacific Ocean
March, 2012
SHE sat with her arms crossed over her chest, sitting on the white hospital bed with her back facing the entrance. She was aware she was throwing a slight tantrum but she didn't care. She didn't like listening to people who weren't her primary handler or mission handler or commander because it wasn't exactly right. But here she was, listening to stupid Director Fury to avoid any and all pain he could give her, not that he could be as harmful as HYDRA.
But she was not only bored—her heart hammered with anxiety that only ever appeared when she became afraid for Papa. She refused to just let anyone hurt Papa; she would beg for Papa's safety no matter how long it took. Sasha wasn't kind but he wasn't completely un-swayable.
This time though, Vay wasn't afraid for her Papa.
She was afraid for Loki.
She didn't know why he came here for the Tesseract—she had made an educated guess and Director Fury had confirmed the reason why he was here, but not exactly his purpose. What was the point of invading Midgard? What was he trying to achieve and why did he think it was okay to steal from SHIELD—from HYDRA?
Vay exhaled, flopping back down on the bed.
She didn't know what to do about this.
She didn't want Loki to get hurt but—
She didn't have a choice if Sasha was to get involved.
Her eyes focused on the ceiling above her.
The doors suddenly slammed open and Vay jumped, sitting up quickly with a hand dropping to her hip, where she expected to feel a gun. But there was nothing holstered there and she remembered she was wearing her tactical gear but had no weapons at all.
She decided to stand from her bed, crossing her arms over her chest as she greeted the intruders.
She expected Director Fury to come inside, saying how right she was.
But it wasn't him who walked in.
The STRIKE team stepped inside, leading Loki Odinson who was covered in chains that every STRIKE member was holding. Uncle Rumlow led them in the front while Uncle Rollins led them from behind.
The doors shut.
"Surprise!" Loki smiled at her.
Vay stepped up to the glass as the door opened.
"No, no, not surprise," she put her hands on her hips as she frowned at him, "what are you doing here and why are you stealing from SHIELD?"
"To be fair, I didn't know that when you told me you were an asset, you were an asset for SHIELD." He replied smoothly, taking a step forward as his chains jingled. "I can assure you I would never mean you any harm, my lady."
The STRIKE team kept a tight hold on him.
Vay raised an eyebrow.
"Are you trying to woo me, Loki?" She asked.
"Well we are supposed to get married, aren't we?" He replied slyly.
Uncle Rumlow cleared his throat.
Vay glanced at him and she stiffened at the absolute rage flicking between his eyes. Oh. She had done a very not so good thing, hadn't she? She didn't mean to—she didn't know that she had done something wrong. What had she done to make Commander Rumlow mad again?
She furrowed her brows.
"Get out." He snapped. "Now."
He was mad and he wasn't swearing, which meant he was so mad that he was calm.
Vay frowned.
She opened her mouth to protest, even though it was risky.
"Don't tell my betrothed what to do." Loki suddenly struggled against the chains and cuffs keeping him contained.
Vay's eyes widened when Uncle Rumlow stared at Vay. His eyes became awfully dark. He looked at her and Vay looked at him and she could tell his anger was going to explode. She suddenly felt small; suddenly felt like she was going to get chained to the floor or the wall.
Commander Rumlow turned to slap or punch Loki in the face.
She zipped forwards, catching his arm.
"Sorry." She blurted. "Sorry, please, Commander, I'm out. I'm sorry. I'll come with you, I'm sorry."
Commander Rumlow exhaled.
"Vay, all he does is standby—they all just watch." Loki tried to reason with a voice of outrage.
Vay's eyes darted to him, her mouth falling open at the statement.
"No!" She snapped angrily. "No, you don't understand, Loki, I'm an asset, that's how things are supposed to be!"
"No it's not!" Loki argued back. "Do you really think it was okay for you to come to Asgard with your wings torn apart, bleeding on the floor? If Mother hadn't given you the light you could have died!"
The light— the—
Vay stumbled backwards.
She—
She hadn't remembered.
She didn't even know if those memories had been real or if she had made them up. She had been so young but. . .the light, Vay remembered Loki's mother, Ms. Frigga. She remembered Ms. Frigga had allowed her to touch the light that came from the realm of Alfheim and she had felt so much better.
"Loki—"
"No. Shut up, both of you." Commander Rumlow snarled. "Vay, will you be so kind as to tell us how the hell you know Loki and what the hell you are doing, colluding with the enemy?!"
He shouted and Vay took another step back, retreating to her cell.
"I already told you!" She exclaimed fearfully. "I already told you that Loki and I promised we would marry each other when we were kids! I don't know what else he's doing here or what he wants but I told you he promised me—"
"Your imaginary boyfriend is not real!" Commander Rumlow yelled.
"But he is! He's right there!" Vay pointed to Loki, who was staring at Commander Rumlow like he wanted to rip his head off.
Vay swallowed hard.
"Let me stay in the cell with Loki, Uncle." She pleaded. "I'll talk to him and then you can watch through the cameras and listen. Then you'll understand. Please?"
Commander Rumlow exhaled sharply.
He ran a hand through his hair.
"Fine. But wait until after Director Fury shares a conversation with—" Commander Rumlow narrowed his eyes at Loki, "whatever the hell he is. Cameras are being watched by HYDRA now, but it'll go to SHIELD, then to HYDRA after Fury leaves. Got that?"
Vay nodded her head, eyes filling with relief.
She backed into her cell, pushing the bed against the furthest curved wall. She watched as Loki stepped forward with two STRIKE members. They started to uncuff his hand and ankles— Loki peacefully walked inside, or more so ran inside, wrapping his arms around Vay.
She exhaled as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
Her eyes squeezed shut.
"You smell like leather." She mumbled.
Loki breathed softly.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." He mumbled back. "And you smell like flowers."
Vay felt her cheeks warm a little.
She pulled back as the cell door sealed shut. Her eyes darted to Uncle Rumlow, who exited with Uncle Rollins carefully walking beside him. The rest of the STRIKE team got in position around the cell.
The doors closed.
Loki took a step back, his eyes shifting across the room.
Vay sat down on the bed behind her.
"Why are you here?" She whispered.
Loki's eyes darkened for a moment.
He turned away from her.
It was silent for a moment, before Vay decided to ask the most pressing question.
"Did you hurt anyone?" She asked, before rephrasing. "Did you kill anyone?"
Loki crossed his arms over his chest before leaning back against the glass.
"Maybe a hundred Midgardians." He confessed. "Is that too much or too little?"
Vay fell back on the bed, rolled over, and shoved her face into the mattress. She let out a scream, which was very muffled and purposefully not directed to anyone's ears. She kicked her feet behind her because oh my god, Loki seemed to be having a difficult time understanding that wiping out humans was not okay.
She stopped screaming after a few seconds, rolling back over and sitting up on the bed.
"Loki, I don't think you understand what an asset is." She started. "Do you need an explanation?"
Loki clenched his jaw.
"Vay, I—you're not an asset." He breathed.
She frowned.
That wasn't true.
She was born an asset and would always be an asset, even though it took some time for her to fully grow. She was useful that way and had a purpose that way. If she wasn't an asset like Loki proposed, then what was she? So he must've been wrong– he had to be.
"I am." She pressed.
Loki shut his eyes.
"If you want to make the argument that you're an asset then I can make that argument too." Loki started softly. "I'm not an Odinson—I'm a Laufeyson. The King of Asgard took me from my blood father, who was the King of Jotunheim, in order to use me as a bargaining chip—an asset—to bring peace between Asgard and Jotunheim, one of the other nine realms."
He shook his head as if to get rid of the memories.
Vay decided she didn't know much about Loki anymore.
"I'm an asset, and I was never treated the way they treat you." He continued.
Vay pursed her lips.
She turned her head, looking at the STRIKE members that guarded the cell.
They were watching her– she didn't know who it was that was behind the helmets, but they were all her uncles and her aunt. She knew they heard everything Loki said and–
It had to be wrong.
Vay was an asset and assets were supposed to be trained this way.
But then, if what Loki said was true, then. . .then was he an asset who never got punished? Who got to do what he wanted even though he was technically not supposed to have wants as an asset? She didn't understand– she didn't know what this meant.
"Vay—"
"I don't—I don't know, Loki, please." Vay brought her knees to her chest.
Loki stopped.
"Okay." He said softly.
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Vay sat down on her bed in the cell when Director Fury entered the room. She laid down, pulling the extremely thin blanket up to her chest and facing the other side. Her wings draped over the frame as she tried to clear her mind.
Why was Loki here?
She wasn't complaining because maybe she would be able to play with him like she used to—not like she did in the Red Room but a different kind of play. The one where he made shapes and colors with magic, showing her things she'd never seen before.
But if Loki was really here to just see her and play, then he wouldn't have involved SHIELD like this, nor would he have killed as many people as he did.
"In case it's unclear," Director Fury's voice echoed loudly—Vay removed the sound from her ears to pointedly ignore him.
She rolled over and glared at Director Fury.
His mouth was moving and Vay felt a little amused at the way Director Fury tried to look all threatening to Loki. Loki looked completely unphased, watching the Director speak with a smile on his face. There was always some mischief in his eyes, and that was one thing Vay liked about him.
The ground beneath them started to move and Vay quickly hopped out of the bed, looking down from the wall. Her wings fluttered and she excitedly hovered, wanting so badly to fall through the ground and into the open air beneath them.
But the glass was stopping her.
She decided to listen to Director Fury's words.
"–straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?" Director Fury's voice was firm. He pointed to the cell with both his hands. "Ant. Boot."
He turned back to the control panel that was in front of him.
Loki chuckled, holding his hands up.
"It's an impressive cage." He admitted with a grin. "Not built, I think, for me."
Vay tilted her head at the proclamation.
"Of course not, silly." Vay nudged his shoulder. "It was made for me. This is my cell."
Loki raised an eyebrow.
She paused to think about it.
If it really was made for her, then Director Fury would never threaten her with the sky– the sky was her home, was where she flew around and felt the most freedom even though she was technically free all the time.
"Built for something a lot stronger than you– both of you." Director Fury gave Vay a pointed look and she couldn't help but feel a little offended– she was strong.
"Oh, I've heard." Loki turned his head to face the camera watching them. "A mindless beast, makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you?"
"How desperate am I?" Director Fury sounded awfully calm. "You threaten my world with war, you steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill because it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did."
"Ooooo." Loki and Vay both reacted to the threat with a similar sort of indifference and amusement.
Vay rolled her eyes when Director Fury shot her a look that said 'really?'.
"It burns you to have come so close." Loki took a step forward as Vay plopped back down on her bed, swinging her legs back and forth. "To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power, and for what?"
Loki grinned.
"A warm light for all mankind to share. And then to be reminded what real power is." He held his hands out again.
Director Fury scoffed.
"Well, let me know if 'real power' wants a magazine or something." Director Fury remarked as he started towards the door. "And Vay, if you want to be trustworthy, then get something useful out of him."
With that, he exited, doors falling shut behind him.
Vay narrowed her eyes.
"Okay, first of all, he doesn't even take care of me like my uncles do so why would I listen to him?" She frowned, before turning to Loki with an accusatory finger. "And you, what the heck is Director Fury talking about? War against our world? Would you like to inform me, please– what are you doing here? Why are you here? And why do you have such an interest in the Tesseract?"
Loki glanced at the camera, then at Vay.
Vay raised an eyebrow.
He sighed as he sat down on the bench, sitting as close as he could to the bed.
"Vay, do you care about the Midgardians here?" He asked.
Vay tilted her head.
What an odd question to ask.
"You know I do, Loki." She replied, exhaling. "Papa's a Midgardian and he means everything to me. I can't possibly. . ."
She gazed at him.
"Are you really trying to go to war with Midgard?" She questioned.
Because from the question he asked and the way he was acting it very much seemed like he was very interested in taking Midgard for himself. Vay was aware that Loki was a prince– she guessed he was the adoptive prince of Asgard and the actual prince of Jotunheim.
And if he felt like being an asset wasn't something he wanted, then maybe he would–
Would he take Midgard? Would he rule over it like a King?
"I–" Loki hesitated.
His eyes darted to his hands.
"ᛁ- ᛁ ᛞᛟᚾ×ᛏ ᚲᚾᛟᚹ."
I don't know.
He admitted.
Something was off.
Loki had been awfully confident when he had spoken to Director Fury but it seemed like he was very much not confident when he was just with her. That sparked another question to her mind– why was he feeling this way?
If he didn't know if he actually wanted to go to war, then why wage war with Midgard in the first place?
"ᛚᛟᚲᛁ, ᚹᚺᚨᛏ ᚺᚨᛈᛈᛖᚾᛖᛞ?"
Loki, what happened?
She asked softly.
"ᛖᚢᛖᚱᛁᚦᛁᛜ?"
Everything?
He asked.
Vay nodded her head.
"ᛏᛖᛚᛚ ᛗᛖ ᛖᚢᛖᚱᛁᚦᛁᛜ."
Tell me everything.
So he did.
He told her why he had been in Midgard last year– why he had stopped her from shooting his older brother, who was really his adoptive brother. He told her how his Mother could sometimes sense her and sometimes couldn't– he told her how desperately he tried to find Vay with his magic before he found out his true origin.
He told her he was worth nothing to his father's eyes. He told her how Odin, his father, had told him how disappointed he was while he was hanging off the Rainbow bridge of Asgard– how instead of trying to save his son he condemned him.
He told her how he let go of his father's staff to take his own life.
He told her he thought he had lost everything.
That he had lost Vay, his brother, his father– everyone.
And then–
And then they found him.
"ᛏᚺᛖᛁ ᚺᚢᚱᛏ ᛗᛖ. ᛏᚺᛖᛁ- ᛁ×ᛗ ᚨ ᚠᚱᛟᛊᛏ ᚷᛟᚨᚾᛏ. ᚨᚾᛞ ᚨ ᚠᚱᛟᛊᛏ ᚷᛟᚨᚾᛏ×ᛊ ᚹᛖᚲᚾᛖᛊᛊ ᛁᛊ-"
They hurt me. They- I'm a Frost Giant. And a Frost Giant's weakness is–
Loki continued quietly.
"ᚠᛁᚱᛖ."
Fire.
Vay finished for him.
Loki looked at his hands again.
"ᛁᛏ ᚺᚢᚱᛏ ᛊᛟ ᛗᚢᚲᚺ. ᛁ ᚲᛟᚢᛚᛞ ᚾᛟᛏ- ᛁ ᚺᚨᚢᛖ ᛏᛟ ᛞᛟ ᚦᛁᛊ. ᛏᚺᛖᚾ ᚦᛖᛁ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛚᛖᛏ ᛗᛖ ᚷᛟ."
It hurt so much. I could not– I have to do this. Then they will let me go.
He looked ashamed of himself.
But if Vay did the math right, she was fifteen and a half and Loki was sixteen and a half. He was going to be seventeen soon but not soon enough. They were young, and Loki couldn't possibly withstand torture like she did. Vay knew it was her purpose as an asset to experience and understand pain–
But Loki's purpose as an asset– if he really was one– was completely different.
He did not know pain like she did.
And Vay knew just how much fire hurt as someone who wasn't a frost giant. Which meant Loki must've been in even more pain than her when she experienced burning.
Vay scooted off of her bed and onto the bench, sitting right next to him. She grasped his hand, clasping them tightly between hers. Loki turned his head to look at her, his eyes wet but looking determined to be successful– to do what the Chitauri wanted him to do.
"I can help you." She assured softly. "Loki, you don't even want to do this."
"I don't have a choice." He whispered. "I don't."
Vay couldn't help but feel like he sounded awfully like Papa.
Papa who was supposed to be an asset because that was his purpose.
Except there had been a before and maybe Papa wasn't supposed to be an asset.
Maybe. . .maybe Papa wasn't supposed to be hurt all the time. Maybe it wasn't right for him to be in the Chair. Maybe. . . maybe Papa didn't have a choice either. Maybe he didn't want to do what he did but had to do it, otherwise he would get hurt or she would get hurt. Maybe he only did what the Primary Handler asked because he thought there was nothing else he could do– that he didn't have a choice.
Papa would say that sometimes– that he didn't have a choice.
Vay clutched Loki's hands a little tighter.
"I'm strong." She replied.
"I don't want you to get hurt." He replied back.
Loki was stubborn.
But Vay was stubborn too.
"Loki, I–" she paused, before shaking her head.
"ᛗᛁ ᛗᛁᛊᛊᛟᚾ ᛁᛊ ᛏᛟ ᚱᛖᛏᚱᛁᛖᚢᛖ ᚦᛖ ᛏᛖᛊᛊᛖᚱᚨᚲᛏ."
My mission is to retrieve the tesseract.
She admitted.
Loki's eyes snapped to her with instant clarity. He looked horrified and Vay couldn't help but feel that easy inside too.
"ᛁᚠ ᛁᛟᚢ ᛞᛟ ᚾᛟᛏ ᛊᛏᛟᛈ. . .ᛁ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᚺᚨᚢᛖ ᛏᛟ ᚺᚢᚱᛏ ᛁᛟᚢ. ᚨᚾᛞ ᛁᛟᚢ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᚺᚨᚢᛖ ᛏᛟ ᚺᚢᚱᛏ ᛗᛖ."
If you do not stop. . .I will have to hurt you. And you will have to hurt me.
She closed her eyes.
Her hands clutched even more tighter around him.
He squeezed her hands back.
"I can't stop. And I know you can't stop either. You're strong Vay, but so am I." He paused, a small smile forming on his face.
"ᛁᛏ ᛁᛊ ᛃᚢᛊᛏ ᚨ ᚠᛁᚷᚺᛏ. ᚨ ᚠᛁᚷᚺᛏ ᛞᛟᛖᛊ ᚾᛟᛏ ᚺᚨᚢᛖ ᛏᛟ ᛖᚾᛞ ᛁᚾ ᛞᛖᚦ."
It is just a fight. A fight does not have to end in death.
Loki assured.
Vay. . .Vay guessed that was true.
But she would have to fight like she was trying to kill him.
She guessed Loki would do the same.
Her eyes shifted to meet his. His eyes remained on her too. And they were the most beautiful eyes– the shiniest and the prettiest. They glistened like snake scales and Vay had always loved it when Loki transformed into a snake.
"I missed you." She whispered. "I missed you so much."
Loki's expression softened.
"We won't have much time together, will we?" He muttered. "Not until you– not until you stop being an asset."
Vay pursed her lips.
"But I want to be an asset." She replied.
Loki looked down at their hands.
"More than you want to see me?"
To see him.
Not to be with him, not to keep up the promise that she and him had made when they were naive and young. He wasn't trying to pressure her– he wasn't trying to force her. He was giving her an option and it was strange.
Vay wasn't used to options– Vay was used to being told what to do.
She gazed at him.
"ᚾᛟ."
No.
She admitted.
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