Deep in the alley, most of the other shops were closed, leaving only the bar with lights on.
On the bar's second floor, amidst the clashing lights and noise, Lu Qiurui slouched alone on the sofa in a booth, her eyes half-closed and looking weary. Tang Li sat in a corner, pouring vodka for Lu Qiurui.
Despite being exhausted from work during the day, Lu Qiurui insisted on coming to check on Tao Ye, saying it had been days since she'd last visited her. She had paid a considerable amount to buy out Tao Ye's work hours tonight so she wouldn't need to dance, just keep her company.
A little while later, Tao Ye came up carrying a small metal basket filled with various drinks Lu Qiurui liked. She had personally selected each one from the bar. Seeing her, Lu Qiurui's face softened immediately, and she beckoned her over. "Sit here," she said.
Tao Ye sat down beside Lu Qiurui, keeping a polite ten-centimeter distance.
However, Lu Qiu-Rui leaned in closer, her coat collar folding over, concealing a metal pin in its folds. Tao Ye remained impassive, polite and composed, sitting upright.
Leaning gently on Tao Ye's shoulder, Lu Qiurui murmured softly, "Sis, I'm so tired today."
Tang Li, used to this, averted his eyes toward the dance floor. Although Tao Ye was a couple of years older, she was a nurturing, gentle presence. Only around Tao Ye did Lu Qiurui, usually harsh and temperamental, soften enough to willingly call someone 'sister'.
Tao Ye said nothing, keeping her eyes downcast.
Lu Qiurui let out a sly smile and murmured, "You're always like this, ignoring me." Tao Ye's gaze remained fixed on the table. "There's another girl who seems to like you quite a bit—Xia Xingmian. Why don't you go to her? She probably needs you more."
"Her attitude suddenly changed recently. I doubt she'd care," Lu Qiurui scoffed lazily. "Tell me, what do I even get out of this? People pay for fun, but I just end up paying to make myself miserable."
Tao Ye replied, "If this is how you feel, you could just stop asking me to drink with you."
Lu Qiurui sighed, placing her hand on Tao Ye's shoulder. "Don't say that. You know I'm not going to stop. I've told you a thousand times—I like you."
Downstairs, a curvaceous woman took over the stage, her pale arms coiling around the pole like a water snake. But the crowd's interest was lackluster; most were preoccupied with drinking, nowhere near as enthusiastic as when Tao Ye danced.
After a few drinks, Tao Ye suddenly spoke up, "Even if you don't like her anymore, can't you at least be a bit kinder to her?"
Lu Qiu-Rui asked, "Who?"
"Xia Xingmian," Tao Ye said softly.
Lu Qiurui chuckled. "What's brought this on?"
"I just think... she's a young girl. It can't be easy for her."
"No one has it easy." Lu Qiurui's gaze hardened as she looked at Tao Ye. "Sis, it's not easy for me either."
Tao Ye, not wanting Lu Qiurui to notice her private connection with Xia Xingmian, fell silent.
After a few more drinks, two figures emerged at the staircase turn. Zhao Wen led Xia Xingmian up and pointed toward the booth. "She's over there," Zhao Wen said.
Xia Xingmian had come to find Tao Ye, but with the dim lighting, she hadn't noticed Lu Qiurui until she was close. Her palms started to sweat when she saw Lu Qiurui holding Tao Ye.
Lu Qiurui, too, noticed her and immediately frowned.
How was she supposed to explain why she was there?
Taken aback, Tao Ye quickly tried to come up with an excuse for her appearance, nervously glancing between Lu Qiurui and Xia Xingmian. "She's..." Tao Ye stammered.
Lu Qiurui lifted a hand, gesturing for Tao Ye to stop. She smirked disdainfully at Xia Xingmian, raising an eyebrow. "How did you know I was here?" she asked with a smug air.
Xia Xingmian blinked, startled. "What?"
Lu Qiurui looked over at Tang Li, visibly displeased. "Did you give away my whereabouts?"
Tang Li shook his head quickly. "I didn't tell Ms. Xia anything."
Lu Qiurui sneered, turning back to Xia Xingmian. "Not bad. You're quite resourceful. Going to such lengths just to get close to me."
Xia Xingmian's face went blank. "...Should I go?"
She had come hoping to check on Tao Ye, but seeing her with Lu Qiurui was unsettling. She figured she'd just leave and save herself the headache.
Lu Qiurui, however, wouldn't let her go. "Leave? Since you're here, have a drink with me." She lit a cigarette, gesturing for Tao Ye to pour Xia Xingmian a drink as she struck a match.
Xia Xingmian replied coldly, "I have class tomorrow."
Lu Qiurui scoffed, "As if it makes any difference whether you go or not. Even if you study for another decade, you're still just a dog under my heel, never amounting to anything."
Xia Xingmian's expression instantly darkened. "What did you say?"
The cigarette, freshly lit, had already burned halfway. Lu Qiurui leaned over, blowing a thin line of smoke directly at Xia Xingmian.
"How could you not understand by now?" Lu Qiurui's tone was icy and mocking. "Without your father, you're—noth—ing." Each syllable was like a dagger. "You can live decently and go to university because you still have some entertainment value to me. I'm throwing you a bone. When I say drink, you drink. Even if your father's grave collapsed this very moment, you'd still sit here and drink. Got it, useless girl?"
Lu Qiurui often humiliated her this way in front of others, and she'd grown numb, learning to brush it off. But seeing Tao Ye beside Lu Qiurui filled her with a sharp sense of shame. She felt stripped bare, her deepest wounds laid raw for Tao Ye to witness.
The smoke thickened, turning Lu Qiurui and Tao Ye's faces hazy in the dim room.
Xia Xingmian found herself short of breath.
Her fingers went numb as if plunged into arctic water. Her legs felt disconnected, buried in the snowy static of a broken TV, while her self-esteem lay trampled underfoot, reduced to ashes.
After a long silence, she exhaled slowly.
Finally, she said nothing.
Rigidly, she turned to leave, disgusted with herself.
— —
At two in the morning, Tao Ye returned home and found the living room light still on.
She quietly took off her shoes, set down her bag, and walked to the bedroom door. Only a small nightlight was on inside, casting a dim glow. Xia Xingmian lay on her side under a tightly wrapped blanket, facing the window, her face hidden.
"Xiao Man, are you awake?" Tao Ye gently asked.
Xia Xingmian didn't respond.
Tao Ye's gaze drifted to the bedside, where she noticed a brand-new pillow in place of her old one, its snowy white fabric matching the sheets perfectly. She walked over, sat on the edge of the bed, and touched the soft pillow, her eyes curving in a smile.
"Did you buy this?" she asked quietly, looking at Xia Xingmian's back. "... Thank you."
"No need to thank me," Xia Xingmian replied dully.
Tao Ye propped her chin in her hand and sighed. "I knew you weren't asleep."
Xia Xingmian said nothing.
Tao Ye continued, "If you stayed up waiting for me, well, I'm back now, so after I wash up, I could sleep with you. If you're up because you're in a bad mood, though, we could go up to the rooftop and get some fresh air." Her tone was light and soothing, as if nothing had changed.
Xia Xingmian remained silent.
Tao Ye leaned forward, tilted her head, and asked with a smile, "So, sleep or rooftop?"
"... Rooftop," she muttered after a long pause.
It was late, and the hallways and elevator were deserted. They went up to the top floor and took a small staircase to the rooftop. Clotheslines hung across the terrace, strung with sheets and quilts, some floral, some plain, overlapping in a patchwork.
The breeze carried the scent of soap.
Tao Ye stood a little way from Xia Xingmian, but even amid the soapy freshness, Xia Xingmian could still catch the faint whiff of alcohol lingering on her. It was that unmistakable scent of a bar.
"Are you upset because of what Lu Qiurui said?" Tao Ye asked.
Xia Xingmian stared blankly at the distant high-rises. "I don't even know. I thought her words were awful, but... part of me thinks she's right."
Tao Ye was silent for a moment, then made a soft sound of agreement. She didn't say anything further.
Xia Xingmian's gaze snapped to her face.
"Aren't you going to comfort me?" she asked, feeling a pang of hurt.
She had expected Tao Ye to embrace her, to reassure her softly that she was trying her best, that Lu Qiurui was just spouting nonsense. Like the time Tao Ye had whispered in her ear, "Lu Qiurui's just a big bully."
Tao Ye rested her hands on the railing, looking out at the night. After a pause, she replied, "I don't know what happened between you two to make her so harsh. But there's one thing she said that's true: even if you study for ten or twenty more years, you might never reach the top or surpass her."
Xia Xingmian stared, speechless.
Tao Ye turned her head, meeting Xia Xingmian's gaze. "Not every effort in this world will be rewarded," she said slowly. "Isn't that true?"
Xia Xingmian felt a sudden wave of helplessness wash over her.
Indeed, the reality was that people like Lu Qiurui, who could upend fate, were few. Most people were more like her father, who fell from a high place. Or like herself, living a mediocre life, struggling just to get by, vulnerable to the whims of others.
"But, Xiao Man, if you don't try, then you really will have nothing," Tao Ye added with a gentle smile. In the dim night, her eyes looked like twin crescent moons filled with warmth. "If you work hard, at least... you still have dreams to hold onto."
"What's the good in daydreams?"
"Of course they're good. Just having them is already a blessing."
Xia Xingmian looked steadily at Tao Ye.
In the winter night breeze, Tao Ye's chestnut hair floated softly, the ends brushing against a small mole on her nose. The warmth of her body reached Xia Xingmian, a faint comfort in the cold air. Her lips moved slightly, the faintest breath carrying a delicate whisper:
"Because you're still young. You still have the chance... to make every dream come true."
Xia Xingmian saw a flicker of something complex in Tao Ye's eyes. It felt like Tao Ye wasn't looking at her but at a version of herself from a time when she could still dream.
"Sis," Xia Xingmian called softly.
"Yes?" Tao Ye turned to her.
Xia Xingmian looked at her for a long time before finally averting her gaze.
"It's nothing."
Tao Ye only smiled, not pressing further.
In her heart, Xia Xingmian had hoped Tao Ye would ask.
If she had, Xia Xingmian would have said:
— Sister, would you like to come live in my dreams?