The following week at Yale felt like an uphill battle. The cold winter air and constant pressure of looming finals added to Alouette's unease. After seeing Logan with Rory at the bar, she had tried to convince herself that it didn't matter. It was just a fling, after all. But every time she passed him on campus or caught sight of the two together, the knot in her stomach tightened.
The coffee cart became her refuge, a place to collect her thoughts before facing the chaos of finals. One morning, as she stood in line, she felt a familiar presence behind her. She turned to see Logan, his expression slightly guarded as he approached her.
"Hey, Lou," he said, his voice a mixture of warmth and hesitation.
"Hey, Logan," she replied, trying to keep her tone light. The brief memory of their playful banter hung in the air between them like a ghost.
"Been a while," he noted, leaning casually against the counter as he glanced at the menu board.
"Yeah, you know, finals and all," she said, her heart racing slightly. She couldn't shake the image of him and Rory from her mind, but she didn't want to bring it up. Not here. Not now.
Logan nodded, his eyes flicking over to the barista as he ordered his usual. "I heard you were out celebrating last weekend. With your friends?"
"Something like that," Alouette said, shrugging as if it were no big deal. "Just needed a break."
Their conversation felt like walking a tightrope. On one hand, she wanted to reach out and reconnect, but on the other, the chasm created by his new relationship with Rory loomed large. As she waited for her drink, Alouette took a deep breath, attempting to keep her thoughts steady.
"So, how's it going with... you know, Rory?" she asked, forcing herself to sound casual, though she felt anything but.
Logan looked at her, surprise flickering across his face. "Oh, we're just having fun. You know how it is. Nothing serious."
Alouette tried to ignore the sting of jealousy that shot through her. "Right," she said, attempting a nonchalant tone. "Glad to hear it."
Just then, a burst of laughter caught her attention. She turned to see Rory across the room, chatting with a couple of friends. Her heart sank further as she noted the way Logan's gaze softened at the sight of her.
"Looks like she's got a lot of friends," Alouette commented, keeping her voice light even as her insides churned.
"Yeah," Logan replied, his tone shifting slightly. "She's really smart. I think she'll do well here."
Alouette swallowed hard, forcing a smile. "That's great. You deserve to be with someone who fits in with your crowd."
Logan's brow furrowed slightly at her words, and Alouette could feel the weight of unspoken things hanging between them. "And what about you? How's everything?"
"Busy, as always," she replied, picking at her coffee cup as she avoided his gaze. "You know how it is. School, studying, and a bit of stress."
"Is that all?" Logan pressed, a hint of concern in his voice.
Alouette shot him a look, her heart racing. "What do you mean?"
He hesitated, his expression shifting to something more serious. "I don't know. Just seems like you've been off since... you know, since we saw each other at the bar."
She opened her mouth to respond, but the truth was tangled inside her. "I'm fine, Logan. Just focused on finals."
"Okay," he said, though she could tell he didn't believe her.
The barista called out her name, interrupting the moment. Alouette grabbed her coffee, thankful for the distraction. "Well, I should get going. Good luck with finals."
"Yeah, you too," Logan said, though his tone lacked its usual warmth.
As she turned to leave, Alouette felt the urge to look back, to see if he was watching her. But she resisted, pushing through the crowded campus with the weight of their conversation heavy on her shoulders.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of classes and study sessions, but the unshakeable feeling of Logan's presence lingered in her mind. That night, she sat at her desk, surrounded by textbooks and notes, but her focus drifted. She couldn't help but replay their conversation, the way his eyes had searched hers for something more.
Eventually, she picked up her phone, her heart racing as she hesitated. Should she reach out? She was about to type a message when a sudden knock on her door interrupted her thoughts.
"Alouette!" Madeline called, bursting into the room without waiting for a reply. "We need to talk! You're not going to believe what I heard about Logan and Rory!"
Alouette felt a rush of anticipation mixed with dread. "What about them?"
Madeline grinned, plopping down on the edge of Alouette's bed. "Apparently, they're not as solid as everyone thinks. Rory was telling some friends she's not sure where things are going with him."
Alouette's heart skipped a beat. "Really?"
"Yeah! And I heard she's been seeing someone else too! This might be your chance to swoop in!"
Alouette's mind raced. Part of her felt relief at the idea that Logan might not be as tied down as she thought, but the other part warned her to tread carefully. After all, she'd seen how quickly things could unravel.
"Thanks for the heads-up, but I'm not really looking to get involved," Alouette replied, forcing a casual tone. "Besides, it's probably best to let them figure things out."
Madeline raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? You two have this weird chemistry. If you want something, go for it!"
Alouette sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I just don't want to get caught up in another messy situation."
"Suit yourself," Madeline said with a shrug. "But if you change your mind, I've got your back."
As Madeline continued to chatter about their plans for the upcoming weekend, Alouette found herself lost in thought. The threads of her connection with Logan felt frayed, but maybe—just maybe—there was still a way to weave them back together.
*
The following week, Alouette felt a mix of anxiety and determination. Madeline's revelation about Rory and her casual encounter with Logan lingered in her mind like an itch she couldn't scratch. There was a flicker of hope that Logan might not be as interested in Rory as he seemed, but it was overshadowed by the realization that she needed to confront him.
It was Thursday evening when she decided to seek him out. With finals approaching and their schedules packed, it was rare for them to have a moment to themselves. She found him studying in a common area, the dim light casting shadows across the table littered with textbooks and notes.
"Hey, Logan," she said, trying to sound casual despite the knot tightening in her stomach.
He looked up, a smile forming as he caught her eye. "Hey, Lou! What's up?"
"Can we talk for a minute?" she asked, motioning to the empty chairs nearby.
"Sure," he replied, shifting his papers aside. The warmth of his smile was still there, but it was mixed with something unreadable.
As she sat down, Alouette took a breath, steeling herself for what she was about to say. "So, I heard something about Rory," she began, her voice steady.
Logan raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. "What about her?"
Alouette hesitated for a moment, weighing her words. "I heard she's been seeing someone else. Not sure how true it is, but I thought you should know."
Logan's expression shifted, the warmth fading as confusion replaced it. "Oh. That's... interesting," he said, his tone flat. "But, you know, we've always kept things casual."
"Right," she said, trying to gauge his reaction. "But I just thought you might want to be aware. It could change things."
He leaned forward, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Why do you care, Lou? It sounds like you're trying to drive a wedge between us."
Alouette bristled at the accusation, the tension between them crackling. "I'm just trying to look out for you," she retorted, her voice sharper than she intended. "You deserve to know if she's not serious about you."
"Look, if you're trying to sabotage things between us, that's really low," he shot back, frustration lacing his words. "If you still have feelings for me, then just say so instead of trying to play these games."
Her heart raced at his accusation, but she forced herself to remain composed. "I don't have any games, Logan. I'm just trying to help. If anything, I thought you'd want to know."
"Help?" he echoed, disbelief creeping into his voice. "It sounds more like you're trying to stir the pot. You can't just drop a bomb like that and expect me to react positively."
Alouette met his gaze, her expression hardening. "I didn't drop a bomb. I told you what I heard. You're the one acting like it's a big deal."
Logan ran a hand through his hair, frustration radiating off him. "Maybe I wouldn't have to if you didn't keep bringing up Rory every time we talk. What's really going on here? Are you still upset about what happened between us?"
Alouette took a moment to steady her breathing, his words weighing heavily on her. "It doesn't matter, Logan. I just thought you'd want to know." She kept her tone cool, letting the chill seep into her words.
He studied her for a moment, the tension in the air palpable. "Right. Because you're so concerned about me and Rory," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Don't turn this into something it's not," she replied, matching his intensity. "I just wanted to be honest, but if you don't want to hear it, fine. I won't say anything more."
"Honestly, I don't care about Rory," he snapped, the edge in his voice betraying his irritation. "We've been casual from the start, and I thought you understood that."
"Clearly not," Alouette shot back, her emotions bubbling beneath the surface. "I thought you might appreciate a heads-up, but maybe you don't need it after all."
Logan sighed, running a hand over his face in frustration. "If you're going to act like this every time we talk, maybe it's better if we don't talk at all."
Her heart sank, but she held her ground, the coldness settling around her like a shield. "Maybe that's for the best," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.
Alouette stood up, feeling the weight of their confrontation hang in the air. "I'll leave you to your studying," she added, the words feeling heavy as they slipped from her lips.
"Great. I guess that's what you wanted," Logan replied, his tone curt.
She turned away, each step feeling like a fracture between them. As she walked out of the common area, she fought back tears, wondering how a simple conversation had spiraled into this. The connection they once shared felt like it was unraveling, thread by thread, and she couldn't shake the feeling that they were both losing something in the process.
The campus felt cold and distant as she walked, and the weight of their unresolved issues clung to her like a shadow. For the first time, she questioned if their paths were destined to collide again or if this was the beginning of a painful separation.