Chapter 35
We ate dinner together. Dahil umiiyak si Aurora kapag binababa ko siya ay kinandong ko siya habang kumakain. She's well behaved as we sat, which I am thankful for dahil nakakain ako ng payapa.
"By the way, Solana, anong gusto mong pag-usapan?" Tanong sa akin ni mommy.
I looked around. Sinabihan ko ang mga maid na nasa dining room na umalis muna. Bakas ang pagtataka sa mukha nila mommy but they let them leave.
I took a sip of water before clearing my throat. "It's about Aurora's lineage. Is she...related to me by blood?"
Kaagad na natigilan si mommy at daddy and looked at me.
"Is your memory back?" Seryosong sabi ni daddy. I don't know why but I can feel a bit of hostility from his voice. Matalim din ang kanyang tingin so I was taken aback.
"No. But why you asked? Is she...related to my memories?"
May alam ba ako noon tungkol kay Aurora bago ako mawalan ng ala-ala? If so, is she really my half-sister? Do I know back then that dad had an affair?
Mom touched dad's arm kaya napatingin siya dito. Mom gave him a small turn of head, and it manage to calm dad down.
Dad cleared his throat. "Sorry for my outburst. It's nothing."
Bumaling sa akin si mommy at saka ako binigyan ng ngiti. "Why did you came in that conclusion, Solana?"
"Lien and I talked about it and...we just came to the conclusion that Aurora might be our half-sister, and decided to do a DNA test with Aurora." Sabi ko. Hindi ko na sinabi na si Lien ang nakaisip at gumawa noon para in case galit sila na pinag-isipan namin na gumawa si dad ng...masamang bagay ay hindi lang kay Lien nakafocus ang galit nila.
Mom sighed. "Let's talk about that later." Sabi niya while looking at Aurora. Tumango ako at napatingin din kay Aurora. I know her concern. It will be bad for Aurora to be included in the adult's conversation. Although hindi pa naman niya naiintindihan ang sinasabi namin and she'll probably forget it ay baka madala kami sa usapan. It's better for kids, specially babies, not to be exposed under the intense emotion. They are perceptive and will instinctively know that there is something wrong and will start crying.
Matapos naming kumain ay dinala ko na si Aurora sa kanyang silid. I made her sleep first bago siya iniwan kasama si Benny. I went to dad's office dahil doon ang sinabi ni mommy na lugar na pag-uusapan namin. I knocked on the door before twisting the knob but it's locked. Hinintay ko pa bago ako pagbuksan ni mommy.
"Have a seat, Solana." Sabi ni mommy habang iginigiya ako sa sofa.
Mom sat on the sofa katapat ng inuupuan ko. Dad, who was siting on his office chair, stood up and walked towards us before sitting beside mom.
Mom cleared her throat. "Honey, you mentioned kanina na nagpaDNA kayo with Aurora's sample?"
I nodded. "With Aurora and Lien's samples."
"So, how did the result came up?"
"Because it was Lien's sample was used, we didn't get the exact answer, but the percentage of similar DNA is 25%. The result suggested that the possible relationship of Lien to Aurora is either grandparent, uncle, nephew, or half sibling. Half sibling is the only thing possible among those possibilities."
Tumingin ako ng diretso kay dad. "So please be honest, dad, is Aurora your child with another woman?"
Hindi sumagot si dad. It sadden dahil mukhang totoo ang iniisip ni Lien. Kaagad din akong tumingin kay mommy to check her reaction. But unlike my expectation, mukhang hindi naman siya nasasaktan.
"You know that dad cheated on you?" Tanong ko, because that's the only explanation kung bakit wala siyang reaksyon despite knowing that dad has a child with another woman. Alam na niya at tanggap na niya na nagcheat si dad.
Mom sighed and hold my hand. "Solana..."
I pulled my hand away. Baka sabihin niya na okay lang sa kanya ang ginawang kasalanan ni dad and convince me to let it go. I can accept Aurora, but not letting what dad did.
"No, mom. I don't know how you can forgive dad just like that."
Muli na namang inabot ni mommy ang kamay ko but I stood up para lumayo.
Mom stood up too. "Solana, please listen. It's not like that. Your dad..." She seems hesitant to say what's on her mind. Napasulyap ako kay dad na pinapanood kami. Maybe because dad is here?
Bumalik kay mommy ang tingin ko. "I don't know how Aurora happened, but I don't plan to ostracize Aurora. Just don't expect that everything will be the same. Lien is very lost and I know he will be in pain once he found this out. Sa kanya kayo dapat magpaliwanag because he plans to do another DNA test with dad's sample. I hope maayos ninyong maipaliwanag sa kanya." Sabi ko bago tumalikod.
Honestly, I don't have the right to judge what dad did dahil magiging hipokrito ako. Even though I don't remember it, I did cheat on Lucius and Elio, so wala akong pinagkaiba kay dad. But at least I ended it before marrying Lucius, and I didn't have a child that does not belong to another man.
Bago pa ako tuluyang makaalis ng silid ay hinabol ako ni mommy at hinawakan sa kamay, pinipigilang umalis. "Wait, Solana. You don't understand."
Huminto ako at tumingin kay mommy. "That's because you're not explaining anything. You're just making excuses for dad."
I want to say a lot more pero nang makita ko ang naluluhang mga mata ni mommy ay kinagat ko ang aking labi to stop myself from saying more.
Damn it, Solana. You should be more considerate. Sa aming nandito, it's mom who must be hurt the most.
I sighed. "I'm sorry for bursting." Sabi ko bago humakbang palapit. I awkwardly hugged her for comfort.
"I'm fine." She said while tapping my back bago humakbang palayo sa akin. Hinawakan niya ako sa magkabilang balikat.
"Listen, Solana. We will tell you the truth, but you must not tell this to Lien, alright?" Seryosong sabi ni mommy.
Nagtaka ako sa sinabi niya. "Why I can't tell Lien?" And what's the truth they are talking about? Kung tungkol sa paternity ni Aurora, Lien already knows that dad might be her father.
"Because...it's a secret that no one must know. Sasabihin ko lang ito if you promise not to tell anyone, ever."
I looked at mom. She is not kidding. Napatingin ako kay dad and he is also sporting the same expression. Hey are dead serious about whatever mom will tell.
Bumalik ang tingin ko kay mommy at saka tumango. "Okay, now tell me."
Bumalik kami ni mommy sa pagkakaupo sa sofa. Instead of sitting beside dad ay umupo siya sa tabi ko. She's holding my hand firmly, maybe to stop me from leaving again.
Huminga nang malalim si mommy. "Solana, your father didn't cheat on me."
Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi ni mommy. "Are you making an excuse right now?"
Kaagad na umiling si mommy. "No. It's the truth. Aurora is not your father's child."
Naguluhan ako sa sinabi ni mommy. "But why did the DNA came out like that?"
"That's because Aurora is related to us. She is actually...your niece."
Nagulangtang ako sa sinabi ni mommy. "What? But how?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
Lien doesn't have a child. I did a bit of research, and I found out that the other relatives aside from grandparents, half-siblings, aunts and uncles, and niece and nephew, who have around 25% similar DNA, have lower percentage of similar DNA to you than those mentioned.
Naramdaman kogn humigpit ang kapit ni mommy sa kamay ko. "Aurora is...your sister's child."
What she said is like a nuclear bomb. It suddenly exploded and cause chaos in my mind. "What? I have a sister? How?"
"You have a twin sister."
I don't get it. No one mentioned that I have a sister. And now that my mom is saying that Aurora is my niece and child of a sister that I never know existed, it's confusing.
"But how could I not know that I have a sister aside from the fact that I have an amnesia? No one told me that I have another sibling other than Lien."
"It's because no one knows that you have a twin. That's the reason why you shouldn't tell anyone what you are hearing right now."
Honestly, sumasakit ang ulo ko ngayon. But I endured and hid it because there is another important thing right now.
"Why no one knows about my twin? Is she missing or something?"
Napatingin kami kay dad nang bigla siyang tumayo at umalis nang walang paalam.
"Your dad is just emotional because of your twin." Paliwanang ni mommy. The reason must be serious para maging emosyonal si dad.
"What happened? Bakit walang may alam na may kakambal ako? Does Lien knows about it?"
Umiling si mommy. "No, he don't. Actually, in our family, we have this...superstition that twins are ominous. He family elders are very...traditional. We don't want the both of you to be ostracized so we choose to...get your sister...adopted."
I don't know what to say. Mas naguguluhan ako dahil sa sinasabi ni mommy. They gave my sister away just because of some family belief? They did that to their own daughter? I never imagined that my parents can do that. They were...loving to me. They gave what I need, supported me when I was hospitalized, and...I just can't imagine they could do that.
"Where is she? Why is Aurora with you?"
"She died recently due to...giving birth. We choose to adopt Aurora."
"But why?" I love Aurora, but she has a father. If my sister really died of giving birth, she should be with her father.
"Your sister's adopted parents are already dead. And we don't know about Aurora's father's whereabouts. Aurora got no one so we adopted her."
Nanghina ako sa sinabi niya. So...my sister whom I never met is dead. Hindi ko manlang siya nakilala.
Sumakit ang ulo ko kaya napahawak ako dito. Pumikit ako ng mariin to make it go away dahil medyo nahihilo rin ako.
"Solana, are you okay? What's happening?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni mommy. Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko at saka umiling.
"I'm fine. Sumakit lang ang ulo ko. By the way, what's her name?"
Hinawakan ako ni mommy sa braso. "We need to get you checked first. masakit ba ang ulo mo?"
"It's fine. What's her name?"
I observe mom's expression. Kahit na medyo nahihilo ako ay pansin ko ang ekspresyon niya. "Don't tell me you don't know my sister's name?"
"Of course I know. She's my child. I just want you to rest first. Something might happened to you and I don't know what to do if I lose you again, Solana." Naluluhang sabi ni mommy.
Natigilan ako dahil sa ekspresyon niya. She seems like she'll really cry kaya hindi ko na pinilit.
I did what mom asked. Hinayaan ko siya na tulungan akong pumunta sa guestroom. Nagtaka pa ako kung bakit doon niya ako hinatid instead of my room pero hindi na ako nagtanong dahil sumasakit ang ulo ko. With the pain on my head and with the things I found out today, the only thing I want to do is sleep. So I did.
~~~
Nagising ako kinabukasan na madilim pa ang paligid. Bumangon ako at nagtungo sa comfort room. I took a cold shower, then remembered the conversation last night. Under the cold water ay pinag-isipan ko ang mga bagay. Dahil sa natulog kaagad ako kagabi ay ngayon lang nagsi-sink in sa akin ang mga impormasyon.
Suddenly, I felt anger. To myself and to my parents. I have a sister who died without even meeting each other. She's my twin so we have the same age. She died so early and left behind a beautiful angel whose father is unknown. Our poor Aurora, she's orphaned now.
But where is her father? Iniwan na lang ba nito si Aurora? Or maybe he got my sister pregnant before leaving her? Was my sister married or a single mom? Did she have relatives on her adopted parent's side? Was she alone after they died?
My heart broke nang maisip ko na baka mag-isa siya noong nanganak kay Aurora. She died giving birth, all alone, and might not been able to take a glimpse of Aurora before she passed away.
But...what if...mom was lying? What if...ayaw niya lang na malaman ni Lien na may anak si daddy sa ibang babae? What if she was manipulating me to hide the truth? That I don't have a twin sister and she was just making that up? Because honestly, I can't believe that she will give her own daughter up just because of some old superstition. I don't want to believe.
But she doesn't have to lie like that just to hide dad's affair. Her reason is just making her look bad. Giving up a child is worse than having an affair. Or maybe that's just me.
I don't know what to believe anymore. At kaysa gumala pa ang aking isipan ay pinatay ko na ang shower. And that's when I remembered that I was not in our house, nor in my room. I was in the guestroom and I don't have my clothes here. Thankfully, there are some towels and robe kaya nagbalot na ako nito bago lumabas. I opened the cabinet to see if there are some spare clothes I can use, and to my surprise ay nakita ko ang ilang damit kong sinusuot ko dati pero hindi ko dinala noong lumipat ako sa bahay namin ni Lucius. Although nagtataka ako ay sinuot ko na iyon at nag-ayos bago lumabas.
I went in Aurora's room. It was locked so I knocked on the door. Hindi ko nilakasan in case tulog si Aurora. Thankfully, Benny is up at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto.
"Good morning po, miss Solana." Bati niya sa akin, stepping aside to let me in.
"Good morning too, Benny. Is Aurora up?" Tanong ko habang naglalakad papasok. Lumapit ako sa crib and saw Aurora looked at me. She recognized me and giggled as she reached out her hands together with her feet.
Aww, look how cute she is. Mukhang kanina pa siya gising based on how enthusiastic she is. Kaagad akong yumuko para buhatin siya.
"Good morning Aurora~ Did you sleep well?" Malambing na tanong ko sa kanya. She made gleeful baby noises whle giggling.
"Kanina pa po gising si Aurora, miss Solana. Nakainom na rin po siya ng gatas." Balita ni Benny.
I looked at her. "Did she gave you a hard time? Nakatulog ka ba?"
Kaagad siyang tumango. "Opo. Nung pinatulog mo po siya kagabi ay tuloy-tuloy ang tulog niya kaya naman nakatulog ako ng maayos."
Mulign bumalik ang tingin ko kay Aurora. "Seems like our Aurora is a good girl las night. Good job!" Papuri ko. She answered me with giggles which made me giggle too.
After spending a little time playing with Aurora ay ibinigay ko na siya kay Benny. Mukhang ayaw pa humiwalay sa akin ni Aurora but I need to leave now. Ayaw ko muna makausap sila mommy dahil naguguluhan pa rin ako kaya kailangan ko nang umalis before they wake up. And honestly, if what mom said is true, hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. So rather than confronting what I feel, mas mabuting palipasin ko muna ang mga bagay-bagay.
It's a bit dark nang umalis ako sa mansyon ng mga Alberto using the car I'm driving. Hindi ako nakapagbreakfast dahil ng anagmamadali akong umalis, so when I saw a restaurant on the way ay tumigil ako roon to eat. Habang naghihintay dumating ang inorder ko ay chineck ko ang phone ko. There are messages na hindi ko pa nababasa simula kagabi.
The first one I replied to is Lucius. Hindi ko alam pero bigla ko na namang naalala ang nakita ko kahapon. It irritate me for some reason kaya nireplyan ko siya at sinabing nasa bahay pa akong parents ko and I won't go back today dahil gusto kong makipaglaro kay Aurora.
Yeah, I lied. But I don't want to go home and see him yet.
Ang kasunod kong nireplyan ay si Lien. I want to go to him right now and check on him pero hindi ako confident na maiitago ko sa kanya ang nalaman ko kapag nagkaharap kami, so I rather not. Although he deserves to know the truth, medyo naiintidihan ko naman na ayaw ng parents namin na malaman niya ang nalaman ko. The reason why they told me that is because they want me to stop Lien from doing DNA test with dad and Aurora, dahil ayaw nilang malaman ni Lien na may kapatid kami, whom they gave away. I know things will get really messy kapag nalaman niya so I'll let my parents inform him themselves.
And that reminds me, the family superstition about twins might really be true. Ngayon ko lang naalala na may kakambal din si dad na pinaampon. So there is a possibility na totoo ang mga sinabi ni mommy. Is it possible that it was practiced even back then? Afterall, isn't twins a hereditary thing? Do we have twin ancestors and one of the twins are given away like dad's brother and my sister?
The thought scared me. What if I have a twin children too? Will my family make me give the other one away? And although I will never do that right now, what if I changed my mind and my thoughts matched the family tradition? All those possibilities scares me.
Dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko ay hindi ko natapos ang kinakain ko. I left the leftover and went back to the car and continued on my way. Masyadong lutang ang isip ko dahil sa iniisip hanggang sa hindi ko napansin ang isang sasakyan na bumubulusok papalapit sa akin.
~~~
"Ayos na miss. Pwede ka na pong umalis. Ihahaid ka po sa inyo gamit ang mobile. Salamat po sa kooperasyon." The police said.
I'm in a police station. There was a car accident earlier which got me involve. Nawalan ng kontrol ang isang van mula sa kabilang lane and crashed on the car in front of mine. It swivel patungo sa aking sinasakyan. By the time I noticed it ay masyado na itong malapit sa akin. Thankfully, I turned the car to the side on time kaya sa kanang bahagi to tumama, pero dahil sa impact ay ilang beses an umikot ang sasakyan before it came to a complete stop. Some people came to help and get me and the other people out of the car and called ambulance.
I got a few scratches because of the broken glasses pero wala namang malala. Hindi na ako dinala sa ospital at ginamot na lang sa ambulance for first aid. I refused to go under some tests dahil okay naman ako at walang masakit. I don't particularly like hospitals because it reminded me of that time I was in state of comatose.
Though, I was invited to the police station to give my statement. Sumama na ako dahil malapit lang naman and I don't know what to do because of wrecked car. And, honestly, I want to see a police station. This is the first time I've been in one and encountered a police. Medyo nakakakaba lang, probably because there are some criminals in there and the vibes the police are giving is a bit unnerving. 'Yung kahit na alam mong wala kang kasalanan, just the thought that you might be put in jail is scary.
Hindi na ako nagsampa ng reklamo sa driver na nagcause ng accident dahil wala namang may gusto ng nangyari, and I'm not hurt seriously. I'm not sure about the other victims though pero sa pagkakaalma ko ay wala namang casualities. The police called a tow for the cars. Ang sa akin ay nayupi ang side, but the other vehicles are in a bad shape. I hope Lucius got an insurance.
Doon na ako nagpahatid sa bahay namin instead of the penthouse dahil mas malapit. I thanked the police who drive me home bago pumasok sa loob ng gate. I put my bag on the table before sitting on the chair on the patio. I sighed as I looked at the sky.
What a very eventful days. Back then, my days were very boring. Pero ngayon. Sunod-sunod ang mga pangyayari. I fought with my friends, I met Aurora and thought she was my half sister but turns out to be my niece, I met a man who was my ex, found out I have a hidden sister, then got into an accident. It all happened within a month. It didn't help that I felt something weird when I saw Lucius being cozy with somebody.
Seriously, the roller coaster of emotions is stressing me out.
Tumunog ang phone ko kaya kinuha ko ito sa bag. Speaking of stressing me out, there's one of them. Elio is calling me right now. I contemplated before answering his call.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Nisha. Good morning. Have you eaten yet?"
Napahilot ako sa sintido ko. Ayan na naman ang pagtawag sa akin ng Nisha na kinakasakit ng ulo ko. I know he means well, but I'm in a bad mood right now so it's irritating me.
"Why did you call?" Tanong ko. I tried to conrol my tone but my irritation slipped out.
"Sorry. Am I bothering you? Hindi ka kasi nagrereply sa mga text ko so I just want to find out kung ayos ka lang."
I sighed. "Yes. I've been busy this past few days so I'm forgetting to reply."
"I see. I actually want to invite you to some places that we've been at. Baka makatulong iyon para makaalala ka."
"I can't right now. Maybe next time, if my husband let me."
Natahimik siya sa kabilang linya kaya tiningnan ko ang screen kung tuloy pa rin ang tawag. He is still here. "Elio?"
I heard him clearing his throat. "I-it's fine. We can go next time. Kailan ka available? If...it's okay with your husband, I can go to where you are and tell you some stories personally."
"I don't know yet, but not now. You can tell me over the phone some of them, though." I said.
I felt sorry for him. Sinabi ko sa kanya na hahayaan ko siyang tulungan ako na maibalik ang mga alaala ko, and also a form of him giving closure to move on, pero wala akong oras para sa mga bagay na iyon.
Elio agreed. Nagkukwento siya sa akin ng ilang bagay over the phone. I just put it on loud speaker habang nakasandal ako sa upuan while looking at the sky. I let the sunlight hit me as I closed my eyes, basking on the warmth while listening to his voice.
I don't know how long I listened to him, pero napamulat ako ng mga mata nang madinig ko ang sasakyan na tumigil sa harap ng gate, followed by the sound of the gate slowly opening.
"Elio, I need to go now." Sabi ko matapos abutin ang phone.
"Alright. Thank you for listening. Text me kung libre ka."
After ending the call ay muli akong napatingin sa gate. I was kind of expecting it since siya lang naman ang may access sa gate maliban sa akin at kay Nancy, but I was still a bit surprised when I saw Lucius' car. Pagkasara ng gate ay basta na lang niyang ipinarada sa driveway ang sasakyan before getting off. I saw that he is on his office attire, sporting a very serious expression habang nakatingin sa akin.
I put my phone on the table habang hindi inaalis ang tingin sa kanya na ngayon ay naglalakid palapit sa akin. Why does he look angry?
But then, seeing his face, bumalik na naman ang irita ko nang maalala ang nakita ko kahapon. I know I shouldn't be angry dahil wala naman siyang ginagawang masama. I don't even know why I am irritated.
"Why are you here?" Tanong ko.
Lucius stopped in front of me. Hindi siya kaagad sumagot. He crossed his arms as he looked down, staring at me intently.
"Uh, tesoro? Didn't you go to work? Why are you here?" Muli kong tanong.
"Why are you here?" Balik niyang tanong.
"It's my house too, right? Am I not allowed here?" Tanong ko, nag-iiwas ng tingin. Right, I told him I'm at my parents house. But why is he here? My kukunin ba siya? But he can just send his secretary instead.
"Don't play with me, Solana. You didn't came home last night and said you were at your parents' house. I wanted to go with you but you didn't let me. I get it, you didn't want me to be late so I let you there, because I know you're safe there. Then you texted me this morning that you'll stay there longer."
Napatingin ako sa kanya nang hinawakan niya ako sa baba at pinilig paharap. Our eyes met and I can see his eyes burning with rage. "So why the hell did the insurance company called me, sending notification about the car you were using? Why did I just find out you were in accident through them? Huh? Answer me."
I can't maintain the eye contact. He looks genuinely angry, which I can understand why. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin but his hold a my jaw is firm kaya sa iba na lang ako tumingin.
"Sorry about your car. I'll pay for the damages."
"D@mn it, Solana!"
Napapitlag ako nang bigla siyang sumigaw. Marahas niyang binitawan ang aking baba at saka biglang tumalikod sa akin. He walked away for a bit, clenching his hair in frustration. I can hear his rag breathing as he is trying to control himself.
Uh, did I answer wrong? Hindi ba galit siya sa akin dahil sa nangyari sa kotse niya? It's still a bit new dahil binili niya lang iyon before our marriage kasabay 'nung SUV.
"I-I'm sorry. Don't be angry." Kinakabahang sabi ko sa kanya in attempt to calm him down. I know he won't hurt me but still, I'm not used to dealing with angry people kaya natatakot ako..
I flinched when he suddenly turned around. He marched towards me, closing our gap.
"Teso---" Halos mapapikit ako when he leaned down. I thought he might hit the chair or something in frustration. Insead, he grab my face and crashed his lips on mine.