Hanni
Week seven? The week to destroy my whole being. Crush my soul. Tear my heart.
It was better than the rest, so why would it destroy me this way? Sometimes, good doesn't always mean good. Especially when the love of your life is dying slowly. Moments of happiness are always the mere reminder that it's not forever.
That the happiness is only temporary, that it'll only be there for a second or two and then turn into nothing and disappear.
No matter how much it means to you.
I opened the door of our shared house, only managing to take a step in as my body had frozen as my eyes saw Minji standing two or more steps away from me.
A beautiful bouquet in her hands, a smile on her face, eyes that looked so alive but so sad at the same time. She was in some way dressed up. A collared shirt and jeans, I looked at her with a confused expression. "Join me for dinner." She said, taking careful steps towards me.
I felt my heart thumping inside my chest as Minji offered me the bouquet to grab. I carefully took it and took a small whiff of the scent. Letting my eyes close for a moment. Roses were truly my favorite. They were typical, but just as special.
I opened my eyes to see Minji holding her hand out for me. Without hesitation, I grabbed her hand and she gently guided me to the dining room. My eyes widening as a gasp left my lips seeing the dinner table so well adorned, with two plates of food, lit candles, and soft music playing in the background.
I looked over at Minji with slight tears in my eyes. She looked so tired, so I hugged her tightly. Minji's arms wrapped around me so gently, her touch almost ghostly. Minji kissed the bit of my shoulder that was exposed. "Don't cry, at least not yet." She joked and I couldn't help but softly smack the back of her shoulder.
I pulled away from her and kissed her lips. Minji kissed me back so softly. "What's the occasion?" I asked her as I pulled away from her. She shrugged, but I knew there was a reason. "Just wanted to give you a good memory." She said with a soft smile on her face and I tilted my head head with a pout on my lips
She kissed the pout away, later grabbing my face and kissing all over it until I started to fight back with kisses. Minji laughed as she wrapped her arms around me again. I shook my head, scrunching my nose at her.
"Come on, the food will get cold." Minji said as she guided me to sit. Once she was settled on her own chair, comfortable silence fell upon us. I looked at Minji as she looked back at me, later looking away as her cheeks turned red. And for a moment, I let myself slip from reality.
Going back to my first ever dinner with Minji like this. God, Minji was so shy. She couldn't even look at me in the eyes. Some things never seem to change.
Minji cleared her throat, catching my attention. "I know this is out of nowhere. But I wanted to do something to somehow pay you back for everything you've done for me." Minji said as she reached out to grab my hand.
A soft smile crossed my lips. "You don't have to pay me back for anything. I would do this over and over again." I said, squeezing her hand. She gave me a smile. "You're truly wonderful. I'm so lucky." She said and I melted at the compliment.
If she only knew I was the lucky one.
We dived into the food that Haerin had helped her made because she clearly couldn't have done this alone. But I don't really care, the only thing that mattered to me was the thought.
We talked, laughed, cried, but mostly enjoyed our time together like this. Sometimes I wish we could've spent the last weeks like this too, but I understood that we were both going through it. We wouldn't be thinking with our hearts, just with our scrambled minds.
We wasted a lot of time, and I truly wish we could both go back in time and do it right. But such thing isn't possible. And I'd have to live with that.
I felt a sharp pain in my chest suddenly, but I tried to hide it from Minji who was going all out about how I'm still the Hanni I was when I was seventeen. "No I'm not!" I defended and Minji chuckled as she shook her head. "You so are." She said and I threw a tiny piece of paper at her.
"Well, why don't I prove it? Dance with me." Minji said as she stood up, her hand out for me to grab. The last time I danced with Minji like that was on our wedding day. And from there we would both just playfully pulled a random move from every now and then. Our relationship was always playful like that.
I grabbed her hand and she quickly went over to the small speaker that was connected to her phone. No. 1 Party Anthem played, it was one of my favorite songs. Minji then dragged me to the living room after she put the volume up.
Minji grabbed one of my hands, as she placed the other on my lower back, pulling me close to her. The closeness completely threw me off guard. Being close to Minji like this was almost foreign to me. I wrapped an arm around her neck, placing our foreheads together.
Her warmth sent comfort through me, and I must admit that I missed all of this. Minji was so close but so far away from me. And I think that's what hurt the most.
Minji then started to sway us at the beat of the song. I accidentally stepped on her foot twice and she let out a chuckle as she placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. "See? You always stepped on my feet when we danced back then." I threw Minji a playful glare. But she was so right, some things really don't change. We'll both always be the young souls we once were.
Later shutting my eyes as I went down memory lane, Minji always liked to have a little dance with me when we were younger. And I would always end up stepping on her foot like a hundred times. I let out a giggle at the small memory of Minji falling because I had tripped her on accident.
"It was funny back then, right?" Minji said and I opened my eyes as she suddenly pushed me away and made me twirl around as she pulled me towards her so softly. Our chests hitting against each other.
Her arms held me tight against her, as if she was afraid I'll leave. But I'd never, my place is right here, in her arms.
My eyes wide as I looked at her, the look in her eyes threatened to break me. Sadness filled her eyes to whatever it was that she's thinking. "Never forget those memories of me, Hanni." Minji said as she leaned down to kiss me softly. "Keep those gold memories. Remember me when I was young and filled with life. Don't remember this me, the one that has torn your heart in a way no one else ever would." She said and my eyes threatened to spill so many tears.
"I'll remember every last bit of you." I said and she shook her head. "Don't remember the me that caused you so much pain. Remember the one that filled you with laughter and happiness." I looked at her sadly.
I'll never be able to forget this, and she knows it. This will forever be stuck on my mind. I'll always remember loosing her until the day that I die.
She'll always be my only thought.
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THREE MORE CHAPTERS! :(