*CHAPTER FIFTY ONE*
*BELL'S P.O.V*
I sat with my baby for a few more minutes, before a nurse came and took him away from me. "Don't worry" she reassured me, "we need to get you back to your room, I'll bring him back" and she smiled at me. Damn these nurses and their reassuring smiles! I nodded my head, though I felt a bit uneasy about leaving him in the hands of a stranger -ironic, huh?-. "He is a beautiful little boy!" Said the nurse who was pushing me back to my room, but not before helping me get cleaned up, and putting me into a different bed. I just smiled in response. "His parents are going to love him!" She said happily, and it took me a while to realize that she was talking about the Freemans. The smile on my face dropped, "Yeah" I said in a sort of trance. She had continued on the whole way, talking about them and how happy they were going to be to finally have a baby, and blah blah blah! I finally reached my room, and was happy to be free of this nurse. Why the fuck would she make me feel like this? (How?) Well, kind of guilty... I don't even know why I felt guilty, but I did! 'Come on! We both know why you feel that way' the voice in my head said with an air of cockiness. 'Why would that be?' I asked back. She gave a sort of devious giggle, 'you and I both know that you won't give this baby up now! I was right from the beginning!' 'Fuck you!' I argued back, 'of course I'm going to give this baby to the Freemans, and he's going to live a happy life!'. 'You don't even believe it yourself,' another devious laugh, 'here comes your true test now!' She said. Why the fuck did this fucking stupid voice decide to be an asshole now!? I looked at the open door, and in came the same nurse, pushing my baby into the room, and putting him next to my bed. "There you go" she smiled at me, before leaving the room. It took a whole lot of strength and will power NOT to pick him up. I just sat there and looked at him; how can I give him up? How could I even think of doing something like that? Sure he's going to have both parents, buht isn't he going to feel like part of him is missing? Are they even going to bother telling him about me? His biological mother? How am I going to live my life, walking around, wondering if every little boy I see is him? If they do tell him, would he come looking for me? Or would he hate me so much that he wouldn't even bother? As I looked at this little miracle, tears formed in my eyes... I can't give him up!
Having decided what I was going to do, I pulled myself together, and Luke was the first person I texted: Good Morning! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! I HAVE A NEW BABY, AND ITS HIS BIRTHDAY TOO! I smiled at the text and then sent it. Seconds later, I received a reply from him: I'm on my way!!!!!
I put my phone down, and now I felt every ache and pain in my body. I needed to sleep, but I couldn't! Not while he's here with me. I looked at my baby boy and picked him up, held him in my arms and close to my chest. I couldn't stop staring at him. At his little chubby face, at his little ears, at his little nose, at his little lips, at his tiny hands, at his tiny little feet, at the perfection that was him. How could I love such a tiny human being, who I had just met a while ago? Already I knew, that I would die for this baby. I've never felt a love like this before! It was way beyond the love you have for your parents and boyfriend, friends and family. This was a whole new type of love; I'd do anything for this little guy; and I realized that that even involved doing the things that I didn't want to do. I closed my eyes as my lips began to quiver, and tears formed in my eyes again. "I have to do he right thing? Don't I?" I asked him, and I knew the answer already. I don't know what made me look towards the door, but when I did, I saw Luke standing there...
*LUKE'S P.O.V*
I stood there, watching her with him. Truth be told, I was here when she picked him up already, and I saw everything.I just wasn't sure if I should tell her; or if she even wanted me to... "Luke! When did-" "I just got here now!" I lied and walked into the room. "Did you come alone?" She asked. "No, my mom's here too, the others are still sleeping" and I closed the door as I spoke. I wasn't even sure she heard me, because when I turned around to face her, she had all her attention on the baby. I walked towards her bed and sat on the chair next to it. We didn't speak for a long while, and I didn't mind. Watching her smile and being the happiest I've seen her in the last 9 months, was something I didn't mind looking at. "Do you want to hold him?" She asked suddenly, and my attention was snapped from the baby, to her. "What?" I asked nervously. "Do you want to hold him?" She asked with a smile. "I don't know," I jumped up, "I mean, he's so small, what if I break him?" I asked, not even hiding the sacredness in my voice. She laughed, but stopped almost immediately with a look of pain on her face. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I'm still a bit, rather, A LOT sore from having the baby that's all!" She spoke as if giving birth was no big deal; God I love her! "Come on, I promise he won't break!" When I still didn't move, she said, "stop being a pussy!" Before immediately saying, "sorry!" More to the baby than me. "Fine!" I said, and I edged closer. I sat down on the bed next to her, just in case. I nervously extended my arms, as she placed the baby in them slowly. "See?" She whispered, "he didn't break!". I smiled at her, overwhelmed by the fact that I was holding the very baby that was inside Bella! "Holy shit! He's so fucking tiny!" I whispered. I could see that Bella was about to punch my arm, but stopped immediately, "mind your language!" She said sternly. Oh shit! Motherly instinct is here I guess... I couldn't stop staring at him. I stood up slowly, and walked around the room with him. "He's so fu-" she looked at me with that stern look again, "he's so cute!" I turned my attention to the baby again, "yeah," I spoke in a voice that was unfamiliar to me, "you're going to get all the girls aren't you!? I better watch out! Seems like I've got competition!" "Excuse me?" "For your mom's affection!" I said quickly. "Nice save!" I heard her say. "How long were you in there?" I asked her, but still looking the baby. "About nine months..." She answered. I looked at her with a look that said, 'seriously Bella?' "Oh! You were talking to me!" She said, and I nodded, " duurh!" She knew she couldn't swear, but she also knew that she could well and truly show me middle finger, and she did. "Well," she finally stopped flipping me off, and then spoke on, "went in at about 8, right?" "Yeah, and we left around midnight..." I interrupted, "and I was still in there for a few more hours... He was born at exactly 4 am... So, one, two, three-" she counted on her fingers until, "I was in there for eight hours!" "eight hours!?" I asked astonished. "Holy hell! Seems like you didn't wanna leave, did ya buddy?" I asked, my attention back on the baby. I found that I couldn't stop looking at him, and that I just wanted to hold him. Never felt this way before, its a whole new feeling... And I kind of like it. "Can I have him now?" She asked. "No!" Was my immediate response, "we're having male bonding time... you've seen enough of her, haven't you?" I asked , looking at the baby and nodding my head. I looked up at Bella and saw that middle finger in the air again; it was hilarious when my mom walked in and saw her! It was so hard for her to cover that up, so she put her hands under the blanket and looked out of the window instead of my mother. I couldn't contain my laughter, so I just burst out laughing! "That's what you get!" I said, still laughing. My mother said nothing as she walked towards me and extended her arms. I placed the baby into her arms carefully, and I continued laughing; that is... Until my mother hit me hard on my arm. "What was that for!?" I asked my mother as I rubbed my arm. "Bella you have nothing to feel bad about! I know he must have been the cause of it somehow!" she spoke, and gave me a nasty side look. I didn't say anything, I just stood there and watched as my mom held the baby and just ooh'd and aaah'd. "Bella!" She gasped with a smile, "he's beautiful!" And Bella finally looked away from the window, and then towards my mother with a smile on her face. They sat there together, admiring the baby and speaking about God knows what, when the nurse came in and said, "Sorry disturb, but its time for me to take the baby to the nursery. Reluctantly, my mom put the baby down, and the nurse took him out, with my mother following close behind.
Now it was just Bella and I alone in the room, and now was a good time as any to ask. I sat down on the space next to her on the bed, and threw my arm around her shoulders and she laid down with her head in the crook of my neck. "You know, its kinda weird seeing you without the big belly now" I said, looking up at the ceiling. "Well, its kinda weird without having the baby inside me" she spoke, sniffing my shirt, "I love the way you smell Luke!" She said, sniffing again. "Well I do smell pretty damn amazing!" I said cockily. She gave me one hard hit on my stomach, I suppose I deserved that. We were both quiet again, and I went in for the kill, "Bella," I breathed, "now that you've had the baby... And spent time with him, are you still-" I paused, I couldn't get the rest of the words out. "Still going to give the baby up?" She finished my sentence for me. "Well, yeah" I said, placing my free hand behind my head. "Well," she began, and I felt her hand on my chest, "when I fist held the baby," she sat up now, and used her hands to explain everything, "I couldn't let him go! I hated the fact that I would have to give him up, you know? So I decided that I wasn't going to!" And she looked up at me slowly. I sat up straight now and opened my mouth to speak when she interrupted me, "But then, just before you came, I held him again, and then I realized that I was being completely selfish, you know... And then I also thought about how much I love him you know, and realized that I had to give him up ... No matter how hard it was going to be for me" as she finished speaking, she looked down and I noticed that she was playing with her fingers. I smiled. I took her head in both of my hands, lifted it, and then gave her a kiss. There was nothing much to be said after that... We returned to our original position; she laid, rubbing her hand in circles on my chest, while I played with her hair, until both of us eventually fell asleep...