NEW UPDATE NEW UPDATE NEW UPDATE!!!!! I hope you guys are as excited as I am. In all honesty, I could have made this chapter a bit longer, but I have to work tomorrow so I need to get some sleep, but I also thought this was a pretty good way to end the chapter. I really hope I haven't lost some of you due to my lack of updating. It's just that I've only gotten two votes on the last chapter and I usually get more when I update a new part. I just really hope that I haven't lost some readers due to my suckiness. I really hope y'all will stick around to see how this story ends, because I still have so much to share and there's a lot more drama coming your way. :)
Considering the last day was only a half day, and we got to leave after lunch, the day flew by quickly. Before I knew it, I was sitting at our usual lunch table among the theatre kids. Kris and Ember were chatting away with them while I sat quietly in the midst of it all anxiously tabbing my foot on the tile floor and moving food around on my plate.
"Taylor, you need to eat something," Kris whispered from beside me.
I jerked my head in her direction, surprised by her sudden voice in my ear. "I'm not hungry," I answered, dropping the plastic spork to the plate.
"Yes you are," Kris argued. "You didn't eat breakfast this morning. You need food in your stomach."
"I said I'm fine." I pushed the plate away to make sure my point was clear.
I heard Kris sigh heavily and felt her adjust her position to face me. She moved my curtain of hair away from my face and laid it across my back. The light touch caused me to shiver.
"Are you still worried about what you're going to say to Kellin?" She asked more quietly. Not that anyone was paying attention to the two of us anyways. The bell would ring soon and we'd all be dismissed from school for the next three weeks. People were already crowding around the doors and watching the clock on the wall in anticipation.
"Maybe," I mumble, turning away from her.
"Don't," she said.
I scoffed at her statement. Easy for her to say. She wasn't the one who had to tell the person they loved that on top of schizophrenia, self-harm, and anorexia, her parents beat the shit of her on a daily basis. Just pile on the problems, Taylor. What's one more to deal with, right? While you're at it, why don't you tell him about the raping, too, so he can have yet another reason to leave you high and dry?
I was about to say something to her when a girly scream came from across the cafeteria. Our attention turned to the doors where a young girl-younger than us-with black and blue hair and dark eyeliner was jumping up and down in excitement of something.
"He's here! He's here! He came back! I can't believe it!" She was squealing.
For the first time since early this morning a small smile came across my lips. I studied the young girl a little more closely and saw she had a nose ring through her septum, and she was wearing a Sleeping with Sirens t-shirt.
Without fully thinking, I grabbed my backpack from the floor, and my lunch tray and started to make my way towards her, tossing my tray on the way. When I finally reached her, she was still hopping in place and had the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face.
"Hey," I greeted her. Her brown eyes came across to look at me. "You're a Sleeping with Sirens fan," I stated, motioning to her shirt.
"Only the biggest," she said. "I heard rumors that he came to the school yesterday, but I didn't believe it until I saw the pictures. I had a fucking dentist appointment, so I missed the whole thing." She'd stopped jumping but I could still see the excitement in her eyes.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Sasha," she held out her hand for me to shake.
I took her hand in mine and said, "I'm Taylor. So, do you want to meet him?"
The look of pure joy that came across Sasha's face in that moment, made my heart swell. She looked like she wanted to scream. "You can do that?" She said in a strained voice, obviously trying her hardest to keep her excitement in a box.
I nod. "Yeah, of course, Kellin and I are really good friends," I understate. I was trying not to ruin the girl's excitement by telling her flat out that I'm his girlfriend.
"Friends? Is that what you call it?" I look over and find Ember standing beside me, shoveling M&Ms in her mouth. She had a wicked grin on her face; I just smiled and rolled my eyes at her.
The bell rang then.
The kids in front bursts the doors open with a cry of joy and rushed out into the cool air. I looked over to Sasha, her brown eyes wide as she looked at me. "You ready?" She nodded and I looped my arm through hers and led her out the door.
As expected, Kellin was outside of the car, leaning against the hood in dark sunglasses. He smiled softly when he saw me approaching. When I was within a few feet of him, I dragged Sasha out in front of me a little so she could be his main focus. "Kel, this is Sasha. She's your biggest fan; besides me, of course." I smiled proudly.
He took his sunglasses off and looked at her. "Hey, Sasha. It's nice to meet you," he said in a kind voice, taking a few steps towards her.
"Y-you t-too," she stuttered. I came around and leaned on the hood of the car to watch them. "I-I love you so much. You're such an inspiration to me. I wish I had some kind of story to tell you, but really I'm just a fan who loves your music. What you do for everyone else though, I hope I can do something like that for someone someday."
Kellin's smile grew wider as he listened to her. The sight made me smile, too. "Maybe it's not such a bad thing that you don't have that kind of story," Kellin tells her. "It's not the kind of thing you hope for in life; it's something that's been thrown at you. I'm glad my music has inspired you, and I know you'll do great things with your life, Sasha."
The young girl look like she was about to cry. My smile grew wider; and then more so when I saw her throw her arms around Kellin's waist without any hesitation. Kellin looked stunned for a moment, but quickly recovered, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
Normally, I think I'd be a little jealous, but I get to have his arms around me like that all the time, and she was a huge fan; who was I to deny her the same pleasure that I get when he hugs me that way?
After a few long seconds, she pulls away, still smiling. "Can I get a picture? Then I'll get out of your hair, I swear."
Kellin chuckled. "Of course."
Sasha took a picture with her phone, took one more hug from him and ran off in the other direction after thanking me for introducing them.
Kellin then turned to me, his smile still unfading which gave me a little hope for the conversation I knew we were about to have. I took a deep breath and stood up straight. "We should get going," I said to him. "We need to talk."
His smile faltered slightly as he took a step to stand in front of me. "Four words a guy never wants to hear from his girlfriend."
The corners of my mouth shot up, but I didn't meet his eyes. "It's not that talk; it's about last night." There was a moment of silence between us. I started to turn away, but he caught my wrist and pulled me back. Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. The kiss only lasted a couple of seconds, but it was enough to warm my body and speed up my heart.
Our eyes met for the first time since this morning, and I felt my whole body tense up at the sight of his blue-green eyes staring at me intensely. "I had to do that," he said very softly, and then led me to the passenger side of the car.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I despised the silence between us. Neither of us really knew what to say. How do you start the conversation where you tell someone your father tried to strangle you?
I guess nobody has the answer to that question. It's not something that happens to everyday people. No, it just happens to me, and people like me who were fucked over by the universe.
So we just sat on the couch in his hotel room, bodies facing each other, me avoiding all eye contact while twirling a strand of my hair, in total silence. I could feel Kellin's eyes watching me, waiting for me to start explaining. But I couldn't. I didn't know what to say, and I was still worried about the repercussions.
"Taylor," he says, breaking the silence. My eyes automatically came up to look at him, and just like that, I was caught in his gaze.
I caught my bottom lip between my teeth nervously. My heart was pounding in my chest and my palms were sweating. "I don't know what to say," I finally whisper.
He moves a little bit closer to me, and takes my hand. His eyes never leaving mine as he says "Start from the beginning. What happened whenever I dropped you off last night?"
I take a deep breath and look down at our clasped hands. "I knew everyone would be asleep, so I tried to be quiet whenever I came in," I started. I'd decided to stay as close to the truth as I could. As I continued to rehash last night's events, I lost track of what I was saying. My mouth started spewing words before I thought them.
I didn't look at Kellin as I told him everything. I don't think I could bear that look in his eyes, but I felt him squeeze my hand when my voice started to shake. "He's an alcoholic, and last night he was completely wasted. His voice was so slurred I couldn't really tell what he was saying. I think I might've blocked some of it out, too. He came at me faster than I could run away. He pinned me to the wall and started chocking me. I think he had every intent to kill me." My voice broke off in a sob, still remembering his not-so-slurred-words. "If I hadn't kicked him when I did..." I couldn't finish, and Kellin didn't expect me to.
He pulled me into his embrace and held me against his chest while tears soaked my cheeks. "After that, all I wanted was to be safe. And I couldn't think of a safer place than with you," I said honestly.
"Taylor, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I wish you would've told me sooner."
I shook my head and pulled away from his embrace, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I didn't want to burden you any more than I already have. First the self-harm, then schizophrenia, and now this. It's too much for anyone, and I care about you too much to stick you with all of my drama." I looked up and found him staring at me calmly. I couldn't decipher the look in his eyes, nor did I have the mental capacity to do so right now. "The problem is I'm too selfish to do the right thing by letting you go. I don't want to lose you-."
"Taylor," he cut me off before I could finish my statement. "I don't care what you say; I would never leave you, no matter what. You're not being selfish. Everyone needs support, and I am more than happy to be that support for you." He raised his hand to cup my cheek. "And I swear to you that from this day forward, I will never let anything, or anyone hurt you ever again. I'm not letting that bastard anywhere near you. Do you understand me?" I nod. "Good," he says, kissing my forehead as he stands up from the couch, pulling me up with him.
He doesn't say anything as he starts making his way to the door, halfway dragging me behind him. "Where are we going?" I ask as he pulls on his jacket.
"Are your parents still at work?" He asks.
"Um, probably," I answer. "Why?"
"We're going to get all of your things from your room. You're staying with me." He walks out the door and I follow him close behind.