LISTEN TO DAYLIGHT BY MAROON 5 WHILE READING THIS OMFBLORD
dedicated to writingisfreedom13
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We went to my therapist. She said I had to go to her for sessions everyday again. She put me on meds. (A/N: SHE WON'T GET OUTTA MY HEAD SHE'S KINDA HOT THO). Alex is leaving tomorrow early in the morning.
Basically what I'm trying to establish is that today has been a shit day.
I've spent the entire day (after returning from the hospital) watching reruns of Doctor Who with Alex. He said he'll stay the night.
I try to concentrate on what The Doctor is saying to Donna but my mind just keeps going back to Alex leaving. I can't help but think of the lastness of it all. The last time I watch Doctor Who with Alex. The last time I hear him laugh in that adorable way with his nose scrunched up. The last time I see the crinkles by his eyes when he laughs (A/N: no 1d pun intended). The last time I sit on this bed with him. The last time I hug him. The last time he hugs me. The last time we cuddle together. The last time we eat mac and cheese together. The last time we do anything together.
I almost cry when I think about it. Sure, he'd promised me to Skype me everyday, but who am I kidding, it's just not the same. I wouldn't be able to hear him breathe (as creepy as that sounds). I wouldn't be able to touch him.
It sucks.
I try to concentrate on watching Doctor Who but it's practically impossible. I can tell that he's thinking about him leaving as well by the distant look in his blue eyes and by the way he takes his lip in between his teeth.
I don't question it. Some might assume that, because it's our last day together, we'd have a lot to say to one another. It's just not the truth. The truth is you're sad. And you don't want to face it by speaking. You just want to drown in your own sorrow. You're just too sad to speak.
That is the truth.
I don't want him to leave. I don't want him to ever leave. I'll miss him so fucking much, it hurts. It hurts like hell. I don't want to speak to him. Not right now. Right now I just want to lie here beside him, his arms wrapped around me and my head on his shoulder for the last time, watching Doctor Who and eating mac and cheese together.
"Please don't do anything stupid."
"What?" I blink up at him.
"Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm away."
"...I won't. I promise."
"Good. I can't stand being away from you. Not knowing what you're doing all the time, not knowing how you are. You need to keep that promise for me."
I nod and put my head back on his shoulder.
After a few minutes of silence, he says, "Fuck this." He shuts off the laptop and puts it away before leaning back on the headrest of the bed.
I look at him. "What was that?"
"We weren't actually watching it anyway."
"I was."
He looks at me skeptically with a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, fine, I wasn't."
He cracks a smile and checks the time in his phone and sighs. "What are we doing at one thirty in the morning eating mac and cheese and watching Netflix?"
"I have no idea."
We stay in comfortable silence for a while until he speaks up, "Sing me something."
"Me? Sing? No way, I sound like a dying horse."
He scoffs, "Yeah, right. Sure you do."
"I do!" I protest.
"Just sing something. I don't care if you sound like a dying horse, God."
"Fine! Fine, I'll sing something."
I think about what to sing for a while.
I start singing.
(A/N: skip the lyrics if you want)
"You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room,
Flashing those eyes like highway signs.
Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder.
I just wanna feel your lips against my skin.
White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life.
You told me this is right where it begins.
But your lips hang heavy underneath me.
And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me.
I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go.
Is there somewhere you can meet me?
'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings.
And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.
You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry.
Your girl's got red in her cheeks, 'cause we're something she can't see.
And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain.
And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same.
I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight.
I didn't mean to fall in love tonight.
You're looking like you fell in love tonight.
Could we pretend that we're in love?
I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight.
I didn't mean to fall in love tonight.
You're looking like you fell in love tonight.
Could we pretend that we're in love?"
I finish singing and look over to him and smile at the sight. He has his head on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my waist. His eyes are closed and his mouth his slightly parted, his soft snores filling the room. He looks so innocent and at peace, that I don't want to disturb him. So I fall asleep right next to him in his arms, for the last time, and try to convince myself that this is all a dream and that I'll wake up tomorrow in my bed, alone, and find out that Alex is not really leaving.
That thought almost comforts me. As I close my eyes and let the sleep engulf me, I hear him mumble six words sleepily, his eyes still closed, "And you say you can't sing."
X
"Guys wake up, it's 5 am," Fruits voice wakes me up from my slumber.
I open my eyes and look at him, "Don't wake Alex up, let him sleep."
"Sierra, I heard that," Alex stirs next to me.
"Oh. Oh shit. We were just saying that, um, your flight's been canceled? Due to- uh. Heavy rain. Due to heavy rain."
Alex gets off the bed and stretches, yawning, "Shut up, Sierra. I see no signs of heavy rain."
Fruit chuckles, "I'll be downstairs." He leaves.
Alex looks at me. "I should leave. Gotta get ready and stuff."
I nod absently. "Yeah."
He goes to his house next door to get ready, while I push myself off of the bed and take a quick shower. I put on a pair of my signature black ripped skinny jeans. I decide to wear a random band T-shirt and put on a red and black flannel shirt over it. I brush my hair and tie in a high ponytail.
I take the stairs two at a time, to find Fruit sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some documentary on penguins. At five thirty in the freaking morning.
I grab a granola bar and ask Fruit, "Where's Dad?"
He rolls his eyes. "Do you honestly think he'll wake up at five?"
I smile, "Of course not. Typical Dad. Anyway, I gotta run. We're supposed to be at the airport by six. It's five thirty already."
He nods. "Bye."
I put on my boots and open the main door. Outside, I see Alex and his mom loading a cab's trunk with their suitcases. Liz, Alex's 6 year old sister looks up at me and smiles. "Hi, Sierra."
"Hey, sweetie. You excited?"
She nods happily, "I couldn't be happier. I finally get to meet my dad!"
I smile at her, and she skips away to her mom and brother.
Mrs Fanning gets shotgun, while Alex, Liz and I sit at the back, with me between them.
Alex bumps his knee with mine. "Let's annoy the cab driver," he whispers.
I crack a smile, "Let's not. He's gonna throw us out," I whisper back.
"He won't. We're giving him money for driving us."
He has a point.
"Fine."
I tap the driver's shoulder. "Hey, wanna hear a joke?"
He frowns, "I'm driving. Please stop."
"Lighten up. I promise it's a good joke."
He sighs and grumbles, "This better be good."
"What do you call a cow with a twitch?"
"No idea. What?"
"Beef jerky."
I look at Alex. We both stare at each other before bursting out laughing. He slaps his knee and almost falls over. Mrs Fanning smiles, shaking her head and Liz giggles.
The cab driver is the only one who seems unamused. "That was horrible."
Alex speaks up, "Mine are better. I promise."
"No."
"Pleeeeeaaasssseee."
He huffs in annoyance. "Fine!"
"What do you call a cow with no legs?"
He shrugs.
"Ground beef."
I burst out laughing, clutching my stomach and Liz looks confused. "I don't get it."
"Forget it Liz," Mrs Fanning says, turning to us, smiling, "Now, don't annoy the poor man anymore."
We laugh in unison.
We reach the airport. As I'm helping Alex and Mrs Fanning unload the luggage, it hits me- Alex is leaving. He really is leaving. We walk inside the airport, and Mrs Fanning asks me, "Who'll drop you home, sweetie?"
"Oh, Chloe's coming as well, she should be here any minute. She'll drop me."
She nods.
"Sierra! Alex!" We hear someone calling from behind us. We turn around to see Chloe running towards us. "Hi," she says.
She's not smiling for once.
"Hey," Alex smiles at her.
"You're really leaving then?"
"...yeah."
She nods. "Right. Let's go."
When the Fannings show the security their passports, the security guards say that Chloe and I weren't allowed to go any further.
This is the final goodbye.
Mrs Fanning smiles at us and says, "We'll give you and Alex some time alone." She walked away with Liz.
Alex turns to us with a sad smile. "Well, I guess this is goodbye for now."
"Will you come back?" Chloe asks hopefully.
"Depends," he says sadly.
I quickly wipe a few stray tears from my eyes, "I'll miss you."
He grins, "Of course you will. I mean, I'm the Alex Fanning."
I roll my eyes, smiling sadly.
"Group hug!" Chloe says, pulling us in for a hug.
We laugh, and I enjoy this bittersweet moment till it lasts. Alex pulls away. "I should really get going. Bye, guys."
Chloe sniffles, "Bye Alex."
I whisper, "Bye."
He smiles sadly and I watch him going going going going...
Gone.
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*gets on stage*
*taps mic*
*Michael Clifford's voice*
Balls.
Eh this was a sad chapter idek. This has got to be the longest thing I've ever written.
I ALMOST FORGOT
I've been tagged to do the 20 facts thing so here goes:
1.) I'm a girl (duh ahah)
2.) I'm both 1d and 5sos af
3.) I ship muke romantically, even though I know they ((probably)) aren't gay ahaha
4.) I think I'm funny when I'm probably the lamest person to walk this planet
5.) I love singing and writing and reading
6.) Cats are my favorite animal >•<
7.) I ALSO SHIP PHAN
8.) I have a talent of making people hate me
9.) I love you
10.) I am a sad person :(
11.) I excel in making people cry
12.) I'm not a morning person
13.) I'm really unfit
14.) I'm bisexual
15.) I'M HALSEY AF
16.) Ed Sheeran is my idol
17.) My best friends areeeeeee Amanda (x_xAmandax_x) and Porsha (louiscookiedough)
18.) I'm an idiot
19.) I suck at writing (why do you even read this)
20.) I've run out of facts I'm v v boring
Lol I don't even know if anyone read this
Comment "balls" HERE if you actually read this
BYY THE WAAAYYY
THANK YOU FOR 100+ READS I CAN'T EVEN
luff youh
~Jane x