Greg and Susan arrived at Dr. Daniels' office in plenty of time for her noon appointment. Susan handed over the report materials to the receptionist and they sat down to wait. It was no easier than it had been before, but they didn't talk. Susan's throat had grown dry as she tried not to worry, struggling against her fear. Beside her, Greg seemed no more inclined to talk than she did. There were just too many unknowns.
The hour for their appointment passed and still they waited. Dr. Daniels' nurse came out to tell them the doctor was looking at Susan's report now and it wouldn't be much longer. Still, it was another twenty minutes before someone came to summon them back.
Greg put his arm around Susan's waist when they were finally called, both to help her up out of the chair in the waiting room and as a means of moral support.
"Welcome back," Dr. Daniels said pleasantly.
"Thank you," Susan answered for them both. "I hope you have some answers for us."
"I think I do. This particular ultrasound was very revealing," he answered.
"About my pregnancy or about the baby?" Susan asked warily.
"You looked at the report?" Dr. Daniels guessed.
Susan nodded.
"Then you already know we're looking at several issues here," he said clearly.
"Yes," Susan said. "But I'd rather hear what you have to say about it before I say anything more."
"Fair enough," the doctor agreed. "First about your pregnancy: you'll be thirty-four weeks tomorrow. That's the good news. Under normal circumstances your baby would be considered mature enough from this point forward to be delivered early if need be. Of course we don't want to do that and it's possible we won't have to, but I wanted you to be clear on that point before we discuss things any further."
Susan nodded and so did Greg.
"Please, go on Doctor," Greg requested.
"All right, now for the not so good news; as you already know, the amount of amniotic fluid you are leaking has been increasing, as we suspected it would when your amniotic sac began to pull further away. I have this image here to show you," he told them and he activated his computer screen. "This area, from here to here, represents roughly a quarter of the surface of the amniotic sac and none of it is attached. As far as we can tell, it's still functioning. The danger lies in how close the region that's pulled away has gotten to the placenta. Should that also begin to pull away, we'll have to deliver the baby immediately. The danger factor for both Susan and the baby becomes significant at that point so we won't have a choice. Is that also clear?"
"Yes," Susan said in a small voice. "How will we know if that has happened?"
"The fluid you are leaking will become tinged with pink. It may be subtle at first, but I want you to call me immediately. If the least bit of pink or evidence of bleeding appears, we're putting you in the hospital immediately," he told them.
Greg and Susan exchanged a look.
"It sounds like it's only a matter of time before you expect that to happen," Greg remarked.
"That is the most likely way this will progress," Dr. Daniels confirmed. "I don't want to rush delivery. I wouldn't in any case, but especially not now, not after what we've learned with this latest ultrasound."
"You're talking about the cardiac problems in the baby," Susan guessed.
"Yes. I took the liberty of calling a pediatrician colleague of mine ... I hope you don't mind, but he's familiar with conditions such as these in newborns. He's informed me that in the face of these problems, increasing the baby's birth weight is critical to her survival. Right now she weighs approximately four pounds, probably slightly less. Even with the problems your pregnancy has, if we can put off delivery another one to two weeks, she'll be closer to four and a half or five which would be better. So for now, that is our goal," the doctor told them.
"Are you putting me in the hospital?" Susan asked warily.
"Not yet. I want you to go home and do nothing. You don't have to stay in bed, but I don't want you walking any further than from your bedroom to the kitchen table or whatever eating area is closest to your bed in your house and back. I recommend you read books, watch TV, knit, surf the internet, do whatever you like that will keep you lying down or seated at all times, and lying down would be better," the doctor instructed.
"I'm assuming no sex?" Greg asked.
"Not at this time. The movement could pull the sac away further instead of pressing it together because so much of it has already pulled away," the doctor told him.
Greg nodded as he turned his head to exchange a look with his wife. "At least you can come home."
"For a while," Susan agreed. "When do I need to come back?"
"On Friday unless something happens," the doctor said.
Susan nodded. She didn't say anything but she had a question poised on her lips. The doctor arched an eyebrow at her.
"The cardiac defects the ultrasound picked up ... aren't those sort of defects associated with Down syndrome?" she asked.
"They can be, but there are other anomalies that can cause them. Most have similar causes, meaning they are genetic in origin and associated with aging parents. It's too late to do an amniocentesis, Susan or I'd suggest that. It would give us more information to give the pediatrician for after the baby is born, but Down syndrome is a good guess," he said gently.
"Then I don't suppose there is anything we can do in advance to be ready to help her once she's born," Susan said tentatively.
"We'll certainly be able to give the pediatrician all the information we have. That's the best we can do. Do you have a pediatrician chosen you'd like to use?" Dr. Daniels asked.
"Yes, we do," Susan told him and she gave the doctor's the name.
"I'll call him right away and make him aware of the situation," he promised.
"Thank you," Susan said.
"Keep your little bag packed and we'll see you on Friday."
Dr. Daniels walked Greg and Susan to the door of his office as they left.
c
The trip back to their home in the hills above Malibu was an uncommonly quiet one for Greg and Susan. Each was lost in their own thoughts, thinking about the days, weeks, and months ahead.
"We need to talk about this," Greg commented as they drew close to home.
"I know, but not yet. Let's get in the house, tell Mom and Dad the news, then talk," Susan suggested. "I think I need more time to process what this might mean before we discuss it anymore."
"I agree time to think about the news we've received is important, but we must take care that we do not become siloed by it," Greg cautioned.
"Agreed. We definitely need to talk and we need to do it today," Susan said as Greg turned the car into the driveway. Susan sighed. "I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to tell my mother ... and Dad too for that matter."
"I think eventually, all the family will need to know. How we tell them will be important, but not as important as how we handle this between you and me," Greg reminded her.
Susan nodded.
"I'll help you, Susan. You don't need to do any of this by yourself," Greg assured her as he pulled into the garage and shut off the car.
Susan smiled weakly. "Thank you. Shall we go do it then?"
"It won't get any easier by sitting here," Greg acknowledged.
Susan nodded. She exchanged a glance with her husband and together they went into the house.
c
"Susan?" Mrs. Abernathy rushed to meet them in the library as soon as the bookcase door swung open.
Susan smiled tentatively in her mother's direction with a "Hi Mom," as Greg escorted her in, leading her directly to one of the four easy chairs in the room, closest to the fireplace.
"How did it go? What did he say?" Mrs. Abernathy asked anxiously as she studied their faces.
"Susan, you need to sit down before you do anything else," Greg directed.
Susan nodded in agreement as she did what he said.
"Dr. Daniels said a lot of things," Susan told her. "Where is Dad though?"
"I think he's downstairs, why?" Mrs. Abernathy replied.
"We need to go over some things with you," Greg told her. "It would be easier on Susan if we only had to do this once."
"I'll go get him," Mrs. Abernathy said looking immediately concerned.
Greg made sure Susan was comfortable while they waited before taking a seat himself. A few minutes later Susan's parents returned, joining them in the little room.
"Your mother said you have something to tell us," Mr. Abernathy said as they took seats in the two remaining chairs.
"We do," Greg confirmed. "Susan had quite a lengthy exam and we both had an extended conversation with her doctor. As we suspected, the amniotic sac has detached from her womb more than it was before."
"What does that mean?" Mr. Abernathy asked.
"The sac the baby lives in is pulling away from my uterine wall," Susan explained. "The placenta isn't affected yet and until it is, there is no immediate danger to either the baby or myself. However from what Dr. Daniels said, it looks like it's only a matter of time until it does. Once that happens, the baby will have to be delivered immediately."
"According to the doctor, our goal is to put that off as long as possible," Greg added.
"I'm still six weeks away from my due date," Susan supplied.
Both her parents nodded. "That's not so far, Susie," Mrs. Abernathy said in an encouraging tone. "You were at thirty six, almost thirty seven weeks when Zackary was born, and he turned out fine. So you're almost there."
"You're right Mom, and that would probably be true if that was our only problem," Susan told them.
"You mean there's more?" Mr. Abernathy asked.
Susan nodded, looking away slightly and blinking rapidly as her eyes began to tear. Twice she started to speak and twice her throat constricted making her unable to. Finally she managed to whisper,
"There's a problem with the baby."
"Is it serious?" Mrs. Abernathy wanted to know.
"The ultrasound Susan had today picked up a number of cardiac anomalies in the baby's heart," Greg told them. "Some may reverse themselves prior to birth, provided Susan is able to maintain her pregnancy long enough. Some might be able to be corrected via surgery after birth, if the baby is strong enough. Right now she weighs barely four pounds. That's not nearly enough to consider surgery, and yet without it her heart function will be severely compromised if she were to be born now."
"What if you could put it off?" Mrs. Abernathy asked. "If Susan is able to maintain the pregnancy longer?"
"As long as the placenta isn't compromised, she should continue to gain about a half pound per week until she is born," Susan said. "My body can help compensate for her heart problems until then. That will help get her closer to the point where they could do the surgery. Dr. Daniels suggested we contact the pediatrician we've chosen and discuss it with him to learn more about our options for after she is born, but for now with her cardiac problems and a low birth weight, her chances of surviving a premature birth are lower than they were with Zackary."
"This is serious then," Mr. Abernathy realized. "Is it dangerous for you too, Sue?"
"It could be, if the placenta pulls away. The baby would die very quickly if that happens and I could bleed significantly very rapidly," Susan said.
"So to answer your question, yes, Susan's condition is dangerous to them both," Greg told them. "She's to walk or stand as little as possible. She's allowed to be up, but should sit or lie down as much as possible," Greg said. "We'll see the doctor again on Friday, and call earlier if there is even the slightest hint of bleeding."
"If that's what needs to be done, that's what we'll do," Mr. Abernathy declared. "Susie, you let your mother do things ... me too. You get to do nothing aside from growing this baby."
"Yes Dad," Susan agreed in a small voice. "That's what I intend to do."
Mrs. Abernathy studied her daughter's expression.
"Susan, is there something more?"
Susan nodded. "The cardiac anomalies the ultrasound detected ... when they're seen together like this, it's very suggestive of Down syndrome."
"Down syndrome," Mrs. Abernathy repeated. "That's not necessarily bad, Susie. Remember Mrs. Morgan's daughter who lived on our street when you were growing up? She had Down syndrome. She was a beautiful child, and such a sweet little girl."
"I remember, Mom. She had an innocence about her that was wonderful. But I also remember she died when I was ten. A lot of Down syndrome children do die as infants or during childhood. Only those with the mildest problems seem to live longer than their teens," Susan said.
"We all live for the time we are given," Greg reminded her. "Life is a thing to be cherished for a long as it lasts."
Susan nodded as her eyes misted over again.
"So anyway," she continued as she gained control of herself again. "That's what we're facing."
Mrs. Abernathy's expression grew decidedly sad as she realized what such a future would mean for her daughter and her family. There would undoubtedly be some very difficult days ahead.
Mr. Abernathy's expression remained carefully neutral. He didn't want his reaction to add to what his daughter and her husband were already going through.
"Whatever we can do to help, we will. You know that," Mr. Abernathy assured his daughter, "both before the baby is born and after."
"Thank you, Dad. I can't tell you how much that means," Susan told him as she started to get up.
"Where are you going, Susan?" Mrs. Abernathy asked. "Didn't you just say you're not supposed to move around?"
"I did, but I have to go the bathroom, Mom. After that, I think I'm going to lie down in my room. Greg and I need to talk and I think I'd rather do that in there," Susan explained.
"Do you need help?" Greg asked as he started to get up too.
"No thanks. I'm okay," Susan assured him as she moved slowly towards their room.
"I'll be in, in a minute," he assured her.
Susan nodded, smiling tiredly at her parents as they watched her go.
"She's taking this really hard, isn't she?" Mr. Abernathy commented to Greg after Susan closed her bedroom door.
"Yes, she is. We both are, although I recognize at the moment it's harder on Susan than it is on me," Greg told him seriously. "We're both painfully aware that the most likely cause for our daughter's affliction is likely to have been our age."
"I was wondering," Mr. Abernathy remarked.
"Did Dr. Daniels say that?" Mrs. Abernathy asked.
"No, but it is a generally known fact that the incidence of Down syndrome is higher in the offspring of aging parents than it is for those whose parents are younger," Greg acknowledged. "We are extremely grateful for your support and your help."
"That's what families are for," Mr. Abernathy told him firmly. "Go see to your wife. I can see that this is something you're going to need to talk about for a long time."
"More than likely," Greg agreed.
"We'll do our best not to disturb you," Mr. Abernathy assured him.
"Thank you," Greg replied.
He left the senior Abernathys sitting there as he went to join Susan.
c
Greg was waiting for Susan in their room when she emerged from their connecting bathroom.
"Is everything okay?" he questioned.
"There's no change, if that's what you mean," Susan assured him.
Greg nodded. "Are you ready to talk?"
"I think we do need to, don't you?"
"I do. I simply didn't want to rush you in the event you'd like more time today to think about things," Greg told her.
Susan frowned. "I don't think that's necessarily going to help. I suspect we'll both be thinking about the ramifications of this for a long, long time."
"True," Greg agreed. "However ..." His voice faded away in response to her expression.
"I would like to talk about it ... at least start talking about it, if you're ready," Susan said.
"I am. How would you like to start?"
Susan considered his question as she sat down beside him on the side of the bed.
"I'd like to talk about our most immediate concerns first. When are you scheduled to leave on your trip?"
"Friday afternoon ... but I'm not going," Greg told her firmly.
"Why not? You're only going to be away a week, and the chances of something happening while you're away are not that significant," Susan answered.
"They're not that insignificant either," Greg reminded her. "My place is here, Susan, with you."
But Susan shook her head. "Greg, we don't know something is going to happen in regards to the baby and me next week. My parents are perfectly capable of looking after me for one week while you are away."
"I'm sure they are, but they shouldn't have to," Greg insisted.
"But that's why they're here; to help take care of me as much as possible so life can go on as normal for you and our family. And for you, doing the things you need to do to make your movie is what's normal for you. More than that, it's also important to you. I realize working on the movie is essential to you for a lot of reasons, professionally as well as personally. Doing projects like that is part of what makes you, you, just as my career is part of me. I know that. I also know your trip is part of that. It's part of who you are. I don't want to interfere with that if we don't have to. I've never wanted that," Susan argued.
"You are not interfering with my career. At this point in time it is my career that is interfering with you, don't you know that? You come first after the Lord, the movie second ... or even third, after our family. And we also don't know if something will happen next week or the week after or the week after that. There is no way for us to know," Greg maintained.
"We know the closer I get to my due date, the more likely it is to happen," Susan shot back. "I know you need to go, so I say go sooner rather than later so you're more likely to be here when it happens. I need you, Greg. I don't want you to be away when this baby is born."
"And I don't want to be either, which is the precise reason I cannot leave; not to go to the temple and not to visit filming locations for my movie. My God, Susan, do you think I haven't learned that already? Do you think I've learned nothing from before? From the mistakes I made? I will not do that again! We know what will happen; it is only the timing for the event that is not known by us. But it is known to the Lord. It is up to me to wait on Him, to be here when it occurs. I won't gamble on the likely-hood it won't happen next week while I'm scheduled to be away. I won't abandon you again or leave you to deal with things on your own!"
c
Their voices rose as they argued, carrying out along the hallway to the next room where Susan's parents sat listening.
"When did he abandon her?" Mr. Abernathy asked his wife.
"I don't know," Mrs. Abernathy answered and she shushed her husband to listen some more.
c
"You can't abandon your movie," Susan argued, her tone rising too.
"I have no intension of doing that. This trip can be postponed without dire consequences, however my being here can't. This is a critical period not only for your pregnancy and our child, but for us as well, as a couple and as a family. Surely you can see that," Greg told her.
"I see that we have gambled already on the success of that movie in building this house. How are we going to get by if we don't pay attention to that?" Susan demanded. "How are we going to pay for it?"
"You let me be the one to pay attention to that," Greg said, his voice rising further. "At this juncture, this trip in regards to the movie isn't critical. Activities here at the studio can go forward with or without the trip next week. We can instead go for an extended location scouting trip in April, at the time our next trip is planned. I know what I'm doing, Susan. You must trust me to know how to manage the business I'm in."
c
"I take it Greg's supposed to be away next week on a business trip?" Mr. Abernathy commented. "Did you know that?"
"It's the first I've heard of it, although it sounds like Susan knew," Mrs. Abernathy said. "And what's this about being able to pay for the house?"
"Listen," Mr. Abernathy urged.
c
"I do," Susan said more meekly as their conversation went on in the bedroom, but still penetrated the door.
Greg went on as though he hadn't been interrupted. "And even if that trip was critical for the movie or its timing was ... it's just a movie, Susan; a movie nobody will even remember a decade or two from now. But this ... how we handle this ...this very real life and death crisis being faced by our family ... this it will stay with us, just as it has before. We got this wrong before ... I got it wrong. Please don't encourage me to go when I know I need to stay. We need to get this right this time and we need to do it together."
Susan hesitated in her argument as she took in what he was saying.
"You think this is a test," she realized.
"Yes, most definitely. We've gotten the family part right this time ... up till now. We did this ... the loss of a pregnancy and a child right on our own in Hawaii. I think what we are facing now, what we need do, what the Lord is trying to determine is, whether we can get them both right at the same time," Greg said.
"You are trying to keep the family in harmony while our insides are falling apart," Susan recognized.
"Essentially, yes," Greg conceded, "though I wouldn't have put it quite that way."
"I would. Greg, our family is here to help us, to support us. Their willingness to do that is evidence of the harmony we've already fostered within and between our extended families. Now is the time for the family to pull together; let each one do their part to celebrate and support the short life of our daughter," Susan said and she began to cry.
Tears trickled down her cheeks as she struggled to go on, but her voice caught as her throat tightened so that soon she was gasping for air like a fish out of water. Susan lay down on her side as she struggled to catch her breath, fighting to hold back the tears that had threatened to overwhelm her all morning. Greg waited, drawing close to sit by her side, stroking her back as she wept, with each of them thinking about the things the other said until Susan was able to speak again.
"Why April?" she asked tentatively.
"I initially planned an additional location hunting trip for then. I originally intended two trips, one early next month, which also happens to be next week, and the other during the first two weeks of April, well after your due date but before Passover. My intent was to divide up the time so you wouldn't be alone for an extended period either time. But I can easily push our February itinerary forward to the end of March and combine them all into one longer trip. The way things are going, that would still be after the baby is delivered, though we may well be facing other challenges by then," Greg said.
"How long would you be away in April?" Susan asked.
"Approximately three weeks," Greg told her. "It would make for a much more efficient trip. In general I think my production crew would prefer that."
Susan nodded.
"I suppose if your trip happens after the baby comes, even if she's ill, I'll be better able to handle it on my own if I'm not also pregnant."
"Provided you are recovered," Greg commented. "If you end up with an emergency delivery as Dr. Daniels implied you might, you could end up with a cesarean delivery, which would mean an extended recovery period."
"It would, but again my family would be here to help while you're away," Susan said. "I might still have trouble getting around, but I wouldn't be in any danger physically, not the way I am now. Melody might be ... she probably will be, but I won't ... God that sounds cold."
"Not at all," Greg assured her. "You are probably correct. It would be easier for me to be away if only one of you was in danger, provided our daughter is at least stable while I'm away. We won't know that until closer to April I presume."
"No, we won't. But that's a good guess," Susan told him.
Greg arched his brow. "Such a circumstance would give the family a much more tangible way to support us both as a couple and as a family than they could if I were to be away while you are simply pregnant. Rallying around a sick infant who has made her appearance in the world and is related by blood to everyone on both sides of the family is something all of them can relate to, regardless of their background or religion," Greg said. "By that time, Melody will be a person not only to us, but to them as well. She will be a member of the family, loved and cherished by her many brothers and sisters as well as by her parents and grandparents."
Susan nodded once and closed her eyes. Tears continued to seep out from beneath her closed eyelids.
"Is that the blessing in disguise?" she whispered.
"It is the only opportunity I see for our purpose to be manifested through this test." Greg squeezed her hand. "I know the timing is important ... and I know I must listen to you in regards to that."
Susan raised her chin as she thought about it.
"You are right in pointing out the opportunity for the expression of harmony. And I'm actually relieved you want to stay ... I just felt so selfish in saying so," Susan admitted.
Greg smiled slightly as he bent to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. I'm glad you actually do agree. I don't like feeling at odds with you."
"Personally, I hate it," Susan confided. "You are the one person I never want to be mad at."
"Indeed, are there those in the family you do wish to be mad at?" Greg asked in a teasing tone.
"On occasion," Susan told him. "I know she loves me, but my mom has been known to drive me crazy. She did when I was pregnant with Zackary. She hovers over me so much at times like this she sort of does that to me. I think that's the biggest risk I face in the coming weeks."
"All the more reason for me to stay," Greg told her. "To give you and your mother some relief from one another."
"Why? What did she say?" Susan demanded.
"Something similar. According to your father, the two of you have always been that way. He feels it's because you are so much alike in many ways," Greg said. "And from my observations, he is right."
"We are not!" Susan protested automatically.
"You both have a tendency to put your children ahead of yourselves," Greg pointed out.
"Well yes, I suppose we do, do that," Susan agreed.
"See there? Maybe you're not so different from one another as you thought," Greg maintained, teasing her some more. "Have you ever thought of that?"
Susan smiled a crooked smile as she dried her tears. "Do you have any idea just how much I love you?" she asked.
"Aren't you going to answer my question?" Greg asked not allowing her to change the subject.
But Susan did anyway.
"No, I'm not. I'm just going to tell you that you're the most wonderful husband a girl could have. Thank you, Greg for taking care of me. For being willing to fight with me to make sure we get it right."
Greg arched his brow. "You would never have said such a thing to Jalyn."
"Jalyn and I weren't nearly so wise back then, or I might have. I've learned a thing or two too. It's not only you."
"I never doubted it, Cadence," Greg said softly as he touched his forehead to hers. "How about I leave you to rest? I need to call Cathy to ask her to change the travel arrangements for our production team and to let her know I'll be in tomorrow."
"Go ahead and call, but I'm starved. I actually think I need to be up for a while. Do you suppose if I asked Mom nicely, she might make me some soup for lunch?" Susan asked.
"I think you could talk her into it," Greg said. "Shall I help you up?"
c
Mrs. Abernathy turned from the door where she was listening as if that was her cue, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. She was half way down the flight of stairs leading to the kitchen when both Greg and Susan emerged from their room.
"Is everything okay?" Mr. Abernathy asked warily.
Susan blushed. "You heard all that?"
"Not all of it, though it did sound like there were some things for you to work out we weren't aware of before," he told her honestly.
Greg and Susan exchanged a glance.
"Isn't there always, Dad? Between any two people who are married?" Susan asked.
"In my experience, yes," Mr. Abernathy agreed mildly. "The important thing is to be able to work it out."
"I believe we have," Greg said as he once again exchanged a look with his wife. "If you will excuse me I need to make a phone call."
"By all means. Susan, maybe you and I should go supervise your mother in the kitchen. Maybe she could rustle us up some soup. What do you say?" Mr. Abernathy asked.
Susan's blush deepened when she realized to what extent they'd probably been overheard.
"I'd like that Dad," Susan said and she took her father's arm while he escorted her to the kitchen.
c