My eyes open, and I see that Dylan was still sound asleep, facing towards the window opposite of the door. I roll out of the bed, landing in a crouch. Then I stand up, and walk out the door, which was open slightly, and down the hallway. I could hear laughter and the TV in the living room, somebody was watching The Shining, and from the laughter, I'd have to say that it was the other members of Hollywood Undead, George, Jordon, Jorel, and Matty.
I love you Danny. I heard Jordon's voice say inside my head.
Maybe if George sees that Jordon's interested in us he'll get jealous and do something! My own voice exclaims excitedly, it was my conscience I believe.
"That's actually not a bad idea." I say under my breath before walking down the stairs, seemingly happy.
It's all an act though, I know I'm not happy but I need to seem like I am so that Jordon doesn't think it's weird. I put on a big, trademark 'Danny Smile', and saunter into the living room. Everybody looks at me, looking surprised that I was so relaxed. George and Jorel were cuddled together on the love seat of course, and there's the stabbing feeling in my chest as if I'd actually been stabbed, as I walk by them, Jorel had the audacity to smile at me brightly, which I returned falsely. Jordon was slouching in the only chair, Matt being sprawled out onto the floor. I walk over to Jordon and smile flirtatiously, making his eyes turn a darker blue for a moment before he sat up and smiled back at me. Biting my bottom lip, I crawl onto his lap and snuggle back into him.
"Hey Danny." Jorel greets, as I look over towards the love seat to see a more than shocked George Ragan.
"Hey Jay." I say smiling still, everybody went back to watching the movie while I settled in, smelling the scent of Jordon Terrell: cheap beer, weed, and peppermint; a yummy combination to be honest.
I begin kissing at Jordon's neck and he looks at me with wide eyes, as if he was wondering if I'm crazy or not. I wink at him, showing him I was serious about this (or so it seemed). He whimpers, barely audible because of the movie, closing his eyes and allowing me to have my fun. I begin biting, and sucking savagely on his neck, having the overwhelming need to put a claim on Jordon. He gasps, quite loudly, making our band mates (minus Dylan) turn and stare at us. I let go of my hold on his neck, smirking at the dark bruise I made, quite visible on his pale skin, before I place a chaste kiss to his lips and get up, leaving the room, and proceeding to the back door.
Nobody followed me as I jogged to my house; I was currently unsure as to what I was going to do when I got there. To be honest my house, it isn't a home - just an empty shell of one, just like me - I'm an empty shell of a man. I remember when George and I used to spend so much time together... Laughing, and joking, and eating, and writing lyrics; okay, maybe it'd be best if I went to a hotel tonight. Hotel it is then! I sprint into my house, grabbing a suitcase from the closet next to my living room, and upstairs to my bedroom, knowing I need a few outfits.
I walk over to my dresser, grabbing three pairs of black skinny jeans from the bottom drawer. In the second drawer, I grab three or four random shirts. Lastly, I open the top drawer, taking three pairs of socks and boxers before closing it and walking over to my closet, needing a hoodie or two. It didn't have a door, as it was a walk in closet and I'm lazy as shit. I grab the first L.A. Pride hoodie I see along with the one after it. Returning to the suitcase, which lies open on my bed, needing to be filled, and I begin placing my clothes in it.
First, I lay my jeans down, still folded. Next, came my (also still folded) shirts, which I placed my boxers on after. Then, I placed one of my hoodies on the very top before laying my socks in the corners. I slip the other hoodie over my t-shirt and zip the suitcase shut before heading into the bathroom to grab my bag of toiletries, which also had a small cloth bag with my blades inside it. Bending down, and opening the cabinet under my sink I retrieve it and head back to my suitcase. I slip the bag into the front pocket and zip that up as well.
I grab my suitcase and head downstairs, and going into the kitchen, needing cash. In a jar under my kitchen sink, I had a bunch of cash that I had earned before I joined Hollywood Undead. I had close to a thousand dollars in the jar, having spent a lot of time on street corners, strumming a guitar and singing with my case open in front of me, being homeless at the time. Opening the jar, I take a good handful of it, put the lid back, and place it back where it belongs.
Am I running from my true feelings? Should I hide until they find me? What would that do? If only the other three know what Dyl and Matty knew, but what would that prove? I'm just a fuck up. I don't deserve to be with George, but I want him so damn bad. I wish they knew what I knew, how I felt about my band mates being married. But what would that prove?
I'm a fucking American Idol reject that's trying to lead the Undead Army! I should've seen the signs that they'd be getting together two years ago, when I had just started developing these feelings towards Johnny 3 Tears. It's as if there's writing on the wall that I'm just now am seeing. Now all I'm left to do is fall harder for him every single day. The longer I'm away from him, the more that we stay the same. Looking back, I thought I knew it all, but instead I ended up falling for him. Did I throw it all away? Did I miss my chance? It just doesn't seem fair, Jorel is so much better than I am, and I didn't have a chance to start with.
I grab my suitcase, my keys and I'm out the door, locking it behind me. Pulling out my phone, checking the time, it was a bit past five, and my stomach was gurgling unhappily as I get into my car. I guess that when I get to the hotel I will order some Pizza Hut or something, call Dyl and Matt maybe, and just have some chill time. It's been too long since we just sat around eating and joking around. At least a year, ever since George and Jorel got married actually.
Soon I was checked into my room and I had just settled in when my phone rings. I knew that it was either Dylan or Matt. I answer it without checking the ID. There was a small pause, before the male spoke. The voice on the other end of the phone was one I didn't expect.
"D-Danny?" Jorel asks softly, sniffling.
"Yeah?" I say my voice barely sounding above a whisper.
"D-Do you t-think I can s-stay at your p-p-place for a bit? George and I j-just got into a f-fight and I had t-to get out." He sobs, and I found myself actually feeling sorry for the man.
"I'm not home I decided to stay at the hotel over by the Del Taco downtown. I'm in room number five, if you want I can come get you." I reply, not even thinking twice about it.
"I'm at the park a few blocks from Jordon's house, I went there first but he wasn't home, left a note on the door saying that he's out drinking. Dylan and Matt went to the movies, apparently it's date night." J-Dog explains, his sobs becoming more controlled.
"I'm on my way J." I tell him and hang up, before getting off the bed I chosen for myself, and shove my phone into my jeans pocket.
I walk purposefully to my car, hop inside, noticing that it had started to drizzle a little bit, and turn the key in the ignition. I drive towards Jordon's house, which was towards the middle part of town. In a few minutes, I see Jorel, sitting on the curb, with a backpack and a skateboard next to him. Parking quickly, I throw my door open and jump out, quickly reaching the shivering male. He looks up at me; his red rimmed brown eyes void of the caring sparkle I am so accustomed to seeing.
"C'mon J." I murmur, holding a hand out to him, which he took.
"Ah!" He cries as my fingers wrap around his wrist, my eyes widening.
I let go of it immediately, but it was already too late, there was blood seeping from fresh cuts. Jorel looks at me, terror in his brown eyes. I shake my head, pulling my hoodie sleeve up to reveal the many off-white seams covering my arm. The terror is replaced with understanding and what looked to be deep sadness. He opens his mouth to speak but then closes it and wraps his arms around me, standing on his tip-toes. I smile slightly, and hug him back. It seemed like an eternity before he let go of me.
"Let's get going." I say, and he nods, grabbing his board and his bag.
We climb into my car, which was still running, and then I drive off once the doors were shut. A few more minutes go by before we pull into the parking lot of the hotel. A couple more before we are back in my room. Another five minutes of just silence as Jorel goes into the bathroom, needing to clean his wrist up. Finally, I heard him speak as he exited the bathroom.
"Thank you." Jorel says, smiling sadly.
"It's no problem Jorel. Do you want to order some pizza? I'm starving." I ask, and his smile brightens.
"Yeah Dan, that sounds good." He replies, and I find myself smiling too.
"Any kind in particular?"
"I like cheese stuffed crust. Like a lot." The bassist giggles.
"I do too! Does pepperoni sound good?" I laugh as he nods happily.
I order two pizzas; I knew we'd eat both of them. While we wait for them to bring us our food, Jorel opened his book bag, and pulled out his laptop, smiling. I quirk an eyebrow at him, and he crawls over to where I was sitting on my bed, and puts the laptop in my lap, and opens it. I saw that he had a website pulled up, Wattpad.com? I look at my band mate in confusion.
"This is a fanfiction website. There's Hollywood Undead fanfiction on here! Some of it's pretty damn good actually. Lately I've been reading a bunch of Channy stuff." Jorel explains, and I nod slightly.
"Channy?"
"Charlie and Danny." He answers, smiling suggestively.
"Oh my god." I blurt, blushing bright red and covering my face.
"Do you like Jordon?" Jorel asks, sounding curious.
"Kind of." I say, and then I realized that it was true, I do like Jordon, but I love George; I don't understand my feelings anymore.
"Ooooooh!" He gasps, as there was a knock on the door, and we knew it was the pizza guy.