*Check out my cover of One Direction's Little Things! (the attached youtube video). Thanks! And enjoy the chapter!*
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Austin
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"It's not like you'd miss me or anything." Sienna was saying. "Besides, something tells me you'll have a lot more fun without me."
"That's not true." Austin blurted out, but Sienna rolled her eyes.
"Suure," she smirked, "please, I just need some time home. Max does too. It's not safe for a puppy to be on tour. Anyway, you let me do it before when I was fifteen. Now I'm sixteen. Please?" She gave him her best puppy dog eyes and Austin felt his heart seize a little at the sight. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.
"Fine, fine. You're right. You're right. You're always right." Austin grunted. Sienna's eyes widened and she grinned hugely, but Austin didn't give her the satisfaction of letting her see him being happy that she was happy, because in the end, it was all he wanted. "I'll have my dad check up on you every now and again. And I know you and Noah are back together, and I know you two are probably going to be spending the night together regardless what I say..." he trailed off, letting Sienna blush in embarrassment. "But all I have to say about that is I hope you'll be safe."
Sienna blushed even harder and Austin shuddered. "I would, of course, prefer you not to have sex at all, but I know no matter what I say, you two are going to do whatever your little hearts want to do. I'd be upset if you did fuck, but I do not want any fucking in my house, or Noah's house. Understood?"
Sienna nodded slowly, as if still processing Austin's decision. "Great. I'm late to the band meeting, so I'll call you in an hour or so about dinner. Okay?"
Sienna nodded again, this time more excitedly. Austin sighed and climbed into his truck. "We'll also talk about more rules when I get back. See you later, Si. Love you!"
Sienna replied with a flustered: Love you too, and bolted back into the house. Austin started the car and it roared to life. He backed out of the driveway and made his way quickly to the studio where he would meet his band.
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Austin leaned against the wall outside of the studio, his mind set on one thing: Sienna was growing up. It was almost yesterday that the social worker emailed him about his daughter only having him as a relative. It was like an hour ago that she called him dad for the first time. It seemed like a second ago when she hugged him without flinching. It was unbelievable.
He took a deep breath, feeling his hands shake slightly.
You're killing me kid, but I know you're not trying to, it's just that I've crossed out more than I wrote down for you. And now I'm trying to play it off, like 'oh, I wasn't trying that hard', but what I'm trying to say is I was trying to say that you should come home. I know it seems crazy, but the weather changed as soon as you left, I'm even wearing a coat now, I think it's too cold to sit in front of holy oak, But I guess you'll be here soon, so things will be different I'm sure. I just thought that you should know, if this is what happens when you go, maybe next time, don't...
Austin didn't know why that song came to his own head. His thoughts were so jumbled, that he didn't realize his breathing shortening. He was panicking, but what was most odd about this certain feel of panic, he couldn't calm himself down.
His hands shook, his mouth quivered, his breathing stopped. Suddenly, the air burst at his chest, forcing wracking gasps to break at his throat. He felt hands place themselves on his arms, tugging him down to a sitting position.
"What's wrong? What hurts?" Alan's voice echoed around Austin's thoughts. Austin flinched, his mind reeling.
"I don't-I don't-it doesn't hurt..." Austin grunted, holding his stomach to try to stop the painful gasping. "I just...I can't calm down..." He didn't realize he was screaming at Alan until Alan pulled away from Austin, his eyes squinting shut.
"Austin, breathe." Alan said simply. Austin narrowed his eyes glaring at the ground.
"You think I'm not trying to breathe?" he snapped angrily, grasping his hair in his hands.
"Austin! Just shut up and focus on breathing. Trust me." Alan sounded strained, like he was trying too hard. Austin decided to let it go and try to follow his friend's advice.
After a few minutes of this breathing exercise, Austin felt his breathing go down to almost normal. His head wasn't spinning, his mind wasn't disoriented, he just felt...well...exhausted.
"What's going on?" Alan asked quietly, rubbing his back gently. Austin blinked slowly, his thoughts trying to process what the hell just happened.
"Fuckin' hell, I don't know anymore." Austin breathed. "I just...I think I had a panic attack."
"Well, that's obvious." Alan snorted, shoving Austin lightly. Austin shot him a glare. "Why are you panicking?"
"I don't know if I can do this tour without Sienna." Austin explained, his revelation scaring him too. "And I know she's better off at home, but I can't leave her alone. I worry too much."
"Okay..." Alan began, looking conflicted.
"And I don't want anything to happen to her when I'm gone." Austin said definitively. Alan rolled his eyes.
"Well, that's stupid." Alan muttered. Austin felt his upper lip curl.
"Listen, Ashby. How I feel about my own daughter being home alone while I am states away from her is my business. I don't care if you know how I feel about it, but I do care when you start to tell me how I'm supposed to feel!"
Alan turned white from shock.
"Austin, I wasn't saying that at all." Alan said carefully and slowly. Austin felt his face flush red. "What I meant was: it's stupid that you're so fucking protective over her to the point where you don't want anything to happen to her when you're gone. You have to let some things happen to her. But you also need to remember that you're not the only one who will look out for Sienna. She has us, All Time Low, Pierce the Veil, Bring Me, Asking, all of these fucking bands...they've taken her under their wings and basically adopted her as the band daughter. Then there's your dad, who loves Sienna unconditionally. Noah, who is her fucking boyfriend who loves her more than himself, and, not to mention, Shayley, who has always been there for her. She's not alone in a sense of the mentality of being alone. She may be alone physically, but she is very aware that she has people who will take care of her when she can't take care of herself. Aside from that, Sienna is a smart young woman who can fend for herself and think for herself. You shouldn't have to worry about what's going on in her life. She's going to be okay, you just need to trust her."
Austin listened to his friend's ranting. He did have a point, he really did, but Austin was too blind to see that. All he thought he knew was the fact that Sienna was going to be by herself while he was having the time of his life performing onstage to so many teens and young adults.
"If this continues," Austin began, taking a deep breath "then I don't think I can handle being on tour all the time."
"What are you talking about?" Alan asked worriedly.
"I mean, if I keep feeling this way, I think I may have to take a hiatus." Austin didn't sound so sure of himself and Alan detected it.
"You can't mean that, Aus." Alan muttered. "You know you love performing."
"But I love Sienna too." Austin sighed. "And I can't have both."
"Please, just sleep on it." Alan begged. "Of Mice can't be over yet. We still have years and years left in us."
"Yeah." Austin chuckled tiredly. "But I don't."
Alan was silent, debating whether or not to tell Austin he was wrong. Austin took a deep breath and shook his head, sucking on his teeth. "Thanks for the chat, Ashby. I'll see you later." he nodded once at his orange-haired friend before departing to the parking lot where he promptly sat in truck. He made sure no one was around before he began to cry. It disturbed him to the point where he felt crazy for crying, which made him cry harder. It wasn't fair he had to make this difficult decision about his own career at this age. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. But he knew what he had to do. But did he have the strength in him to follow through?
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Sienna
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Austin brought home the correct pizza, and Sienna had to admit, she was impressed. He sometimes had a habit of half-listening to what she asked for pizza, because it didn't normally matter...she would eat anything really.
They sat there on the couch, in comfortable silence, the TV on mute playing some sort of re-run of a sitcom. Sienna felt some sort of awkwardness radiating from her father beside her. She didn't know if she should bring attention to his odd behavior, but she just ignored it, trying not to think too much about his composure.
Max was in his dog bed, sleeping his little heart away. So far, Max had adjusted to the house and began to sleep in Sienna's room. Sienna had a little spot for him too. She liked it when Max slept in her room. It gave her some sort of reassurance when she had a dog in her room, even though he was just a puppy.
"Sienna?" began Austin, his voice sounding a little weary. Sienna only looked up at him, grunting a little with confusion. "Sienna, I wanted to just say that...I...I love you a lot. And your safety is my number one priority."
"Is this the talk you were talking about before you left?" Sienna asked, worriedly, her mind immediately going to the worst thing her father could tell her. She really needed to get out of that habit. It wasn't good for her stress levels.
"Yes..." Austin smiled easily, his shoulders relaxing a little. "The rules. Should we write them down? Or..."
"Sure." Sienna nodded, agreeing with him. Austin stood up and searched around the living room for a notebook and pen. Sienna just played with the remaining food on her plate.
"Okay. Let's start with rule number one." Austin said, opening the pen and sitting back down next to Sienna. Sienna braced herself for the awkward conversation that was about to come up.
"No drugs or alcohol of any sort." Austin said strictly, scribbling it down in the note book while he spoke. Sienna rolled her eyes.
"Not a problem." She said confidently. Austin gave her a stern look.
"That brings up rule number two. No parties either."
"The only person I know is Noah." Sienna laughed. "And he's not much of a partier."
"Fine. You got me there. But still. No parties." Austin began writing down another rule. "Okay. Rule number three: if I call you and you don't pick up or call me back, I will get you a ticket and I will fly you out to the venue I'm at so you can get on the bus, where you will remain for the rest of the tour."
"Deal." Sienna grunted.
"Okay. Rule number four, be safe with Noah. You know what I mean."
"Yes." Sienna said immediately, blushing. "I do. Rule number five please."
Austin sighed, but continued nonetheless. "Rule number five. You Me At Six is recording in California nearby, so the Sixers are staying in Josh's summer home. If I feel like you need to be supervised, Josh already said he would be more than happy to have you at his home. He also invited Noah along too. So remember that Josh is an option as well. That being said, if you feel unsafe, or if you need anything that I can't immediately help you with, you can contact Josh or any other Sixer. Okay?"
Sienna nodded, feeling a little embarrassed. Austin then looked a little conflicted.
"I will leave money for you along with a credit card which you can use. That is for food and emergencies only. And, if you really need help, you can stay at Noah's for a while. You can also use Ryan as a resource."
"I can?" Sienna asked, a little confused. "I thought you hated him because of...Ronnie..."
Austin held his breath, his nose wrinkling a little from distaste. "He's trying to clear the air, so I am doing the same. Anyway, your safety is more important than some stupid feud."
"Is that it for rules?" Sienna asked, wanting to escape the conversation. She was honestly so tired, she just wanted to sleep. Anyway, the tour was in a couple of months, so they had some time to come up with other rules. Clearly, Austin was thinking the same thing, because he nodded slowly.
"For now." Austin replied, not sounding 100% convinced himself.
"Okay. Goodnight, dad." she said, standing up and leaning in to hug him. Austin was a little stiff in her arms, but reluctantly relaxed when she tightened her grip.
"Goodnight, Sienna. See you in the morning."
Sienna nodded and pulled away, walking up the stairs to her bedroom, in which she promptly shut the door behind her and sat down on the floor. She was overwhelmed, but she didn't know why. Max was scrambling from his bed to come kiss her face and cuddle with her, but she still was waiting for something. It was that nasty feeling of anxiety, waiting for the downside of a good night, but so far, nothing happened. It was nerve-wracking to say the least, but Sienna managed to somehow climb into her bed, close her eyes, and fall asleep within minutes, the sound of Max's heartbeats lulling her to sleep.
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Hi guys! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a millennia, haha I've been soooooo busy with work, college, volleyball, and school! I just wanted to let you all know I love you!
Go to your iTunes or music app and hit shuffle, then write down the first 20 songs! NO CHEATING.
1) Shake It Out - Ben Bruce (Cover)
2) Wild Boy (feat. Waka Flocka Flame) - Machine Gun Kelly
3) Dammit - Blink182
4) I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer
5) Burnin' For You - Blue Öyster Cult
6) Please Don't Say - Breathe Carolina
7) Lothlórien - Enya
8) Cubicles - My Chemical Romance
9) Anatome - Jaime Preciado
10) Lonely Boy - The Black Keys
11) Virgins - Death from Above 1979
12) The Sky Under The Sea - Pierce The Veil
13) Girls - The 1975
14) All That I'm Living For - Evanescence
15) Misery Loves Its Company - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
16) Where The Story Ends - The Fray
17) Jack's Lament - The All-American Rejects
18) Wait And See - Falling In Reverse
19) This Is War - 30 Seconds To Mars
20) Come Around - Transplants