!(THIS IS NOT INDECISION. THIS IS MORE DEPRESSING THAN INDECISION. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.)!
Soul tried to smile.
He couldn't.
Everyone tried to cheer him up.
They couldn't.
Maka had tried to save him.
And she did. At a cost.
Maka had known the risk. She had defended Soul from the final blow, and she was tossed against a brick wall like a rag doll, the bricks crashing down on her. Soul had killed the kishin on his own in his rage, his sight tinged red, aware of the tears streaking the dirt on his face. He dug her out of the pile of debris,picked her up, and carried her all the way back to Stein, but she seemed to get heavier even as blood spilled out of the terrible gash in her side. His arms ached, and his muscles screamed in pure agony.
But he had to save her. His partner. His first non-judgemental friend. His best friend.
His love.
Maka had finally gone out of his reach, where he couldn't follow, and he'd never even gotten a chance to hold her.
This was what ran through his mind as he sat on the gravestone of the girl he loved. Soul refused to believe that she was dead. She probably wouldn't mind him sitting on her gravestone. He started talking, and he felt a warm sensation, which he figured indicated that Maka was there and listening. Talking to her had been the only thing keeping him sane.
It had been 3 days since she died. This was the 3rd time talking to her. Since she had already given him her last words, he could only talk.
Unknown to Soul, a ghostly, transparent form of Maka actually was there, sitting next to him, listening.
"Hey, Maka. Don't know if you're hearing this, but I hope you're doing okay. I miss you. I can't-" His voice cracked with pain, hot tears stinging his eyes, and Maka could hear every emotion in his voice. "I can't go on! I can't continue without you!" He begins sobbing, and Maka, heartbroken at his words, tries to reach him, but her hand passes through his back, and she remembers that she couldn't touch the living.
She was dead, Maka reminded herself. She was dead, Soul reminded himself.
Soul trudged back to the vacant house alone and faceplanted on his bed, not caring. The school had given him a couple weeks off because of trauma, but he kept getting worse, unbeknownst to them.
A month later, he refused to attend school. Tsubaki attempted to bring him, but he wouldn't go, even when she said that Maka would've wanted it.
Two months later, he started going through Maka's things. He began sleeping in her bed, reading her books, snuggled up under the covers and breathing in the scent of her pillows.
None of the meisters would take a depressed weapon that needed therapy and emotional healing. Soul didn't want a new meister, anyway. He felt like it would be insulting to Maka's memory to just replace her. No, he could never replace Maka.
Three months later, he was standing with a gun to his head, his hand on the trigger. He wrote a note beforehand, saying, 'Put me next to Maka. A husband's placement. I don't care how preposterous it is. Spirit, I loved your daughter with all my heart. I just want to be next to her.'
He spoke aloud: "Try to go where I can't follow, eh? I'll be with you soon, Maka. I swear it." Then he repeated the same three words that Maka's last words were. "I love you."
And he pulled the trigger.