I wake up in the middle of the night, randomly. When I fall back to sleep I do have a dream.
I am lying on my bed. Everything is much cleaner and shiny. I look at everyone. There are many people looking down at me. All of them are people from my life. Mother, Adrian, Mr. Sanchez, Father, Cindy, Jeff. There are a few more. Each of them is looking at me, smiling. They all look as happy as can be. I am relieved, this is all I've wanted, to see everyone I love so happy, until I realize why they are happy.
My eyes start to flutter closed and I can feel a hand on my neck, checking my pulse?
"It's finally happening." My Mother’s voice says. I open my eyes. They are all rejoicing.
"He is finally dying!"
"Yes! We are done with him!"
"He is out of our lives forever!" All of the voices are unknown but this one I know by heart. Adrian's voice, I look straight into her eyes she laughs a bubbling sound "I'm finally done with you I no longer have to deal with you and pretend to care!" She exclaims laughing with relief.
"You don't mean that." I say ultimately hurt that she wants me to die.
She looks at me her eyes hard and emotionless "Yes, I do." She snarls and looks the other way.
Then my eyes close, and it is like finality like I'm dead.
Then I wake up. I am sweating a bunch. I go into the living room and Adrian is sitting on the couch. I have this feeling of anger at her. It is unexplainable, I think it may be something instilled by the nightmare of last night. She sees me and gasps.
"Vito," She whispers walking to me. She touches my neck and I wince. She takes my sweaty hand and pulls me into the bathroom she points to my neck tumor "Look."
I gasp at the thing growing on my neck. It is completely red now. The inside is a rotting purple color. The purple skin is flayed and blistering. It is repulsing. Curiously I pull up my shirt. The tumors on my abdomen are doing the same thing except the corners of the purple are a yellow mucus color.
"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen." I mutter looking at the rotting flesh. I walk back into the living room and collapse onto the couch almost in defeat. Adrian walks after me.
"Vito," She says sighing largely afterward. I know it is going to happen soon. Now I am starting to worry. I've been so selfish all this time. What is going to happen when I do die? Not to me, to Adrian. She wants me dead anyway, why should I care what happens to her.
In a flash I spit out angrily "Leave, don't come back. I don't want you here." Adrian looks at me and laughs
"Vito even joking while you are so sick." She says smiling until she sees my cold eyes. She realizes that I am serious.
Adrian's POV
I walk to Vito's door and unlock it. I have been down this same rotting hallway covered with mold so many times before. When I step into his apartment Vito isn't on the couch so I assume that he is asleep. I go in and sit on his couch. The stuffing is lumpy and uncomfortable I shift my weight trying to get into a good position where the springs don't hurt as much.
I hear a noise and look towards the hallway. Vito is standing there looking at me. I gasp at the sight of him. The tumors are ugly, they look like they are eating the skin and causing it to rot away. I walk up to him and whisper his name, gently placing my hand below the lump in his neck. He winces in pain. I take his hand and lead him down the dimly lit hallway. I turn into the room and from there into the bathroom.
"Look." I say commanding that he look at the mass growing on him.
The thing is sucking the life out of him daily. I've had to watch my brother slowly have his soul sucked out of him. Until he will be whisked away; I duck my head and Vito doesn't notice the tears in my eyes. He walks back down the hallway and throws his body onto the couch. He looks at me and seems to be thinking about something serious. I wrinkle my nose wondering what he is thinking about.
"Leave, don't come back. I don't want you here." Vito spews angrily. I look at him and laugh. He is always teasing me
.
"Vito, even joking while you are so sick," I say meeting his dark eyes. They are serious. I shake my head and look at the ground "You don't mean that." I say quietly in barely a whisper.
"Yes, I do." I look at him quizzically
"No, Vito you are just saying that. I didn't do anything." I say my voice rising a little
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" He booms standing up and towering over me.
"No I don't!" I wail as the tears stream down my face. I hate when he is mad at me
"You want me to die, so why are you here?" He snarls at me
"I don't want you dead Vito? What gave you that terrible misconception," I say confused "I love you."
"Don't lie to me like I don't know the truth! You said it last night." He says
"I don't remember ever saying that." I say back
"You said it while I died." He says back his voice sounding like acid and nails. Then I understand. It was his nightmare.
"No, Vito that was a nightmare." I say smiling. I try to get closer to him but he looks away.
"It was so real. How do I know that is not how you actually feel?" He asks me
"Because you are my brother, and I will always love you." I say quietly
"Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on you." He apologizes
"It's okay." I accept.
I go into the kitchen and make him some chicken broth. He eats about half of the bowl as if he is starving. Then he brings it back up. He experiences several spurts of pain during the day but I coach him through it. He has been asleep for an hour now.
I am off in my mind thinking about anything but Vito when he wakes up. He sits up quickly and starts screaming, he is grabbing his hair and pulling hard. He cries for mercy, loudly. I stand up quickly and get to his side. It takes all my strength to get his hands down to his sides. I get him to start breathing regularly and finally in exhaust he goes back to sleep. He starts shivering like he is really cold.
I go into the bedroom and grab a quilt. I wrap it around his sides in an effort to warm him up. I lean down and kiss him softly on the forehead. At the touch of his skin my lips burn. He is hot to the touch yet shivering. I go into the bathroom and search desperately for a thermometer. I find one and hurry back to him. I shove it in his mouth. When it beeps I pull it out. He is running a high fever of 103.0 degrees.
I knew a long time ago the doctors registered him a lost cause. They won't do anything. I do everything my Mother has taught me. I go into the bathroom again and wet three cloths, I make them ice cold. I go back to where Vito lays on the couch. I press the cold cloth to his forehead. I then put one to his neck. The last one is extra. The one on his forehead is soon hot. I throw it to the ground and put the spare on his head.
His skin finally starts to cool and he breaks the fever by sweating. I pull the quilt off of him and drag it to the side. He lays sprawled out on the couch for a long time before he flips over and wakes up.
"Hello, sleepyhead," I say.
"What time is it?" He asks stretching his arms high above his head.
"About five," I say casually
"You’ve been here all day?" He asks astonished
"Yes." I reply
"Go home, Adrian." He commands
"No." I retort
"I feel like my death is going to be hardest on you." He says glancing up at me
"It probably will," I say looking down at the word death
"I want you to stay home tomorrow. Don't come back here, ever." He says this time he is calm
"Why would I do that?" I ask confused at his request
"Because you need to be used to not having me with you," He says. I lift up my eyes and see that he is so close to me
"Okay." I agree "But just because you asked." I wrap my arms around him and sob into his chest. The hot tears come too. It was so unexpected; I didn't even mean to cry.
"Shhh," He says trying to calm me down.
"I need to go home." I say letting go of him and letting myself out of the apartment. I tromp down the cracked stairs and continue out of the stinky building.
When I get out of the building the tears fall once more. They drip onto the sidewalk leaving splotches of wetness where I walk. Almost like a permanent trail of breadcrumbs, leading to the place where my heart was sewn back together, yet ripped to shreds.