London during December is such a stressful place to be and I tried to talk Abbs out of going but she said she refused to miss out on traditional Christmas shopping because of her claustrophobia slash anxiety. I can hardly mauve my vlogging camera in the crammed spaces.
"Oh joyful London during Christmas!" I say sarcastically to the vlog while pulling Abbs closer to me with my arm as we try to move around. I get several odd glances on account of my vlogging but I'm so used to it that I hardly notice.
"We're out Christmas shopping," Abbs tells the vlog and surprisingly she seems fairly calm. I'm trying my best to shelter her from the strangers and keep her close to me. Even though it doesn't make sense she always tells me that in crowds she feels safer snuggled up against me.
"Look a Rudolph!" Abbs exclaims and proceeds to drag me through the crowd to a little shop. It seems as long as she's focussed, she'll be alright.
"He is cute," I agree to the small figurine. "Do you want to get him?"
We've done loads of our Christmas shopping online from the safety of our home and this is really just to have a look around and see if we find something. It wasn't supposed to be for us but the way Abbs tenderly holds Rudolph I know she wouldn't want to give it away.
"Nah, you're not supposed to buy Christmas presents for yourself," she says and scrunch her nose.
"Oh, they have a whole wrapping section in there!" she says delightfully, pulling me towards the next store. "We can make all of our presents so pretty!"
I don't know if it's a girl thing but personally I don't get the idea of making the wrapping pretty with mini decorations and matching colours. It's just going to get ripped off and thrown in the bin afterwards. I don't voice my opinion though because Abbs and I have already had this discussion and she insists that presentation is very, very important and makes the present even more special.
"Yeah, let's have a look," I say diligently. "However, I have to use to loo, will you be okay in here for two minutes? I'll be back before you know it."
I see her face fall for less than a second but she composes it well.
"Of course, go pee," she says cheerfully.
I lean in and kiss her temple and whisper, "you'll be fine, and if something happens just start counting and I'll be back before you hit a hundred."
She looks calmer as I leave her to admire the wrapping station, which luckily isn't too crowded, as I slip back into the store we just exited. I pick up the Rudolph quickly and rush to the cashier.
"Buying it for your girl?" she asks with a knowing look as she obviously just saw us in here.
"Yes, she wouldn't buy it for herself or let me buy it for her but when it's been bought she can't do anything about it," I say and hand over the money and take the bag. "Thank you."
"Let's hope she won't scold me," I say to the vlog as I walk out the store and head back to Abbs.