"Aren't you two a little young to be recruiting for war?" The brunette woman asked. She had a light brown eyes, and she had tanned skin... like mine. She was the leader of the fifth camp that Andy and I had visited, and she was our most trouble. The others weren't very hard they were excited that someone was finally doing something about it, but others had me worried about their fear. Over the past couple of days, it has been harder and harder for me to hide my constant overwhelming anger. Even the leaders were finding is surprising. "I mean... How old are you?"
"Does it really matter?" I asked annoyed. My eye brows furrowed. Andy started getting more and more concerned, and he jumped into the conversation.
"What she means is... at this time, age isn't really important ma'am. We're more worried about the safety of our future. A man is trying to wipe out our entire race, and we need help in case a war is what's coming out of this."
"Then why did she say it so rudely?" The woman said taken aback from my attitude. She turned to me. I had just recovered from my anger attack and looked back at her with apologetic eyes.
"I'm so sorry ma'am. I'm having some... issues... and I didn't mean to do that, please forgive me." I apologized, and threw me a small smile. "Please, we really need your help... the more Orha's on our side... the better."
"Ok, then we will be happy to help." She replied.
"Thank you." I said and walked away to let Andy give her directions. While I was waiting on the edge of the woman's camp, I started thinking about my bad dreams. I started to feel sick to my stomach and doubled over in pain. I wrapped my arms around my stomach tight and vomited on the ground.
"VIOLET!" Andy yelled as he ran to me. He held my hair back to keep the vomit from getting in it. When I finished, he wrapped his arms around me. "Are you ok?"
"I don't know. I felt just fine a second ago." I answered with a shaky voice.
"Sometimes stress may do that to you. Is something stressing you out?"
"No... Maybe... I don't know." I answered unsure if now's the time for me to tell him... This fear of anger... the overwhelming anger that's now starting to make me sick. I don't want him to worry about me, but this... vomiting... isn't helping my case. I started to get angry about it. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to be going through this... alone, but I didn't want him to have to worry about helping me as well everyone else.
"Don't tell me you're still not ready." He said concerned.
"I'm sorry Andy." I said, and he knew I still didn't want to talk about. His attitude changed from concerned and worry to anger.
"Violet something is hurting you. Something is really different about you, and I'm starting to get very worried. Please help me to help you. I really want to understand what's wrong."
"I'm so sorry." I apologized again. "But I want to understand as much as you do. What you're getting is exactly what I've got. You can't help me."
"I sure will try though." He said, and I started to get a little worried about it.
"Please... just... don't." I stood up and started walking away. He followed in the dead silence again. I could feel his concerned gaze on my back as I walked ahead. After a long dead silence of us walking, the evening sky was over us. I started to get lost in my thoughts again. My thoughts about the overwhelming anger and the fear. Were they the reason I threw up? Was that what it was? So many questions unanswered by this problem. So many reasons for me to be angry, but I don't want to be angry.
"Violet?" Andy's voice rang through the thoughts. I was a little upset about that, but I pushed it back. I shouldn't be angry about that.
"What?" I asked, the anger I thought I pushed back, came out in my voice. I gasped, because I was just as surprised as he was. I hated being angry at him. He pushed it off, and his wide eyes shrank back to normal.
"I figured it was getting a little late. Maybe we should set up camp here." He suggested with a light tone.
"Sure." I said walking over to a tree and sat down as he started to make a fire. I watched at the flames grew and grew in front of me. I watched the fire for so long that the world faded around me. I just kept staring at it, and even though the world faded, I still felt Andy's eyes on me. I zoned into the fire and watched the different shades of yellow and orange flickered in the wind. There was a hint of blue near its base, but other than that, it was orange, scarlet, yellow, and in some places... white. I zoned back out when I heard Andy open his back pack. My eyes jumped over to him, and he pulled out his hunting knife. "What are you doing?"
"I was going to make us something to eat." He answered as he pulled out a dead rabbit, which he'd killed on the way here. "Unless, you're not hungry."
"Yeah, I'm hungry." I replied, looking at him. He continued to skin the rabbit, and I grabbed my rolled blanket and unrolled it. I laid on it and waited for him to cook the food. He was really good at it, so I always let him do it. I just watch him through the fire... I watched his face as he skinned the rabbit. I saw the anger in his face come show when he did it as well. "Wow... you're really mad at that rabbit."
"It's not the rabbit I'm mad at." He said looking at me. Then his knife slipped and cut his other hand. He dropped the knife and the rabbit. "FUCK!"
"Hey." I said getting up and walking to him on the other side of the fire and kneeled down in front of him. I grabbed his hand, which was gushing out blood, and I wrapped it completely in my hands. I looked down at his hand in mine. Then a light purple light started to flow through my partially open fingers. When his hand was completely healed, the light went away, and I let go. "Thanks."
"No problem. You learn a lot about healing when your mother's a healer." I said shrugging my shoulders. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"Well even if it wasn't a problem. I'm going to thank you."
"I'm guessing that you're mad at me, aren't you? That's what you meant when you said that you weren't mad at the rabbit."
"Just a little bit." He said. My heart dropped, and I was so confused. I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid that he'd think I was crazy. "But only because something is hurting you, and you won't tell me."
I just looked at him with apologetic and sorrow in my eyes. I couldn't tell him even if I wanted to. I just walked back over to my blanket, and watched him as he continued cooking dinner. I was quiet for the rest of the night as we ate, and then I laid back down and fell asleep.
I was in the meadow that I was in days ago. It was beautiful, and I was happy... Until the hawk showed up.
"What now?" I asked slightly annoyed. His head cocked to the side, and I could see the confusion in his little beady eyes.
"You seem different, Violet." He said. Confusion well in his voice. "Angrier."
"I don't know what it is..." I said choking back tears. "And it's making Andy mad at me."
"Dear, Andy isn't mad at you." He assured. "He's upset. The girl he loves is being slowly tortured, and he doesn't know how to help."
"Then what do I do?"
"That's your decision. I'm here to help you with your mission."
"So it's a mission now?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.
"Somewhat. Listen, you need to think more about what you're doing."
"You're saying it's a bad idea?" My hands fell from my waist.
"No. I'm saying it's not enough." He answered. "You're doing a great job... besides your little anger outbursts. You need to get that under control, or fix the problem dear. Anyways, you need to look at the bigger picture... think about what happened to most or the Orha population."
"What do you mean? And how do I fix my problem?" I asked getting desperate for any bit of help.
"I don't know, Violet." He answered. Then the world around us changed. The meadow was now charred and on fire. The trees were dead, and the grass was dry. I looked around in horror.
"What's going on?" I asked. My voice shook in fear, and when I looked back... he was gone. I was here in this terrifying place... alone. "What do I do?"
I saw a light that wasn't fire, and Andy was standing there. He looked angry as I walked closer and closer to him. Then I started seeing not only anger, but hatred in his eyes. I was scared because he was looking at me. His hatred was directed towards me.
"Andy?" My voice still shook with fear.
"What do you want, Violet?" He asked. Hatred and annoyance in his voice.
"Why?" I fought tears, but they still ran down my face. Streams of warm and wet tears on my face.
"What do you want?" He repeated with more hatred and annoyance.
"Why do you hate me? What did I do?" I asked in fear of his answer.
"You changed, Violet. I don't know why, but you're different. You don't love me anymore... you broke my heart."
"NO!" I yelled. "I do love you. Why would you think that?!"
"No you don't." He shook his head.
"I would never hurt you Andy." I continued.
"Then why would you hurt me?" He asked. Then he disappeared, and I tried to catch you. The ground started to break below me. It shook, knocking me off of the small platform I was standing. I screamed as I fell in the pit of lava, where the rest of the ground fell.
"ANDY!" I yelled as I fell, then I bolted up right. My eyes shot open. My heart was pounding, and I was fighting someone who had a hold of my wrist. I was screaming and fighting trying to get free. "ANDY! HELP!"
"Violet." A worried Andy yelled back from right in front of me. "Violet! VIOLET! Look at me."
I finally was able to calm down, and looked at Andy. He was the one who had a hold of my wrists. I looked at his worried eyes, and he wrapped me in a hug as I sobbed into his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry." I apologized.
"No, no. It's ok." He said rubbing my back and rocked back and forth.
"I love you, Andy. Don't ever forget that... please don't." I repeated multiple times before he shushed me.
"What's wrong, Violet?" His voice hummed in my ear. "Please tell me."
"It was the meadow again. He was there again, but then he was gone. After that... the whole place fell apart and burst into flames. Then... then..." My voice faded in fear. I was going to tell him this, he was there... he hated me... I hurt him...and I wanted him to know I loved him... I would never hurt him.
"Then what?" He said.
"You were there. You were angry... not mad... Livid. You hated me... I did something wrong. I-I hurt you... I didn't want to. I don't even know what I did. Please tell me." I answered, and he looked at me with shock. I got caught in the reality of the nightmare. "Please... please tell me... Tell me..."
"I don't know." He replied.
"Then you disappeared, and the whole ground caved in, and I fell."
"That when you woke up?"
"Yeah." I sobbed some more. His demeanor changed. He got really concerned, and his arms tightened around me. I felt comfortable... I felt safe in his arms, and I actually relaxed when his soft lips touched my forehead. I sniffled as I felt the warm tears rush down my cheeks like waterfalls. Then he started humming. It was a tune I'd never heard before, but it was soft and sweet. I liked it. My fast pacing heart slowed down, as he rocked me back and forth and hummed. The sun eventually came up as we sat there. My voice cracked. "What now?"
"We head back. I think we've got all the camps there are." He answered. "Maybe we ought to... ought to figure something else out. We're still low."
"That's what the hawk said in my dream before everything went to shit." I replied. "He said I had to look at a different angle... the bigger picture."
"What did he mean by that?"
"That's what I asked. Then he said to think about what happened to most of the Orha population."
"Dead."
"No." I looked at him horrified. "I think he was talking about the collars."
"Then what are we supposed to do about that? Those collars are a huge problem. I get it, but what are we supposed to do about that?" He looked at me confused. I thought about it while he got up and packed everything. Then I stood up, and rolled my blanket back up. Then I grabbed the idea. No collar... no control.
"I got it." I said as I slipped my backpack back on.
"What?"
"We'd have more people if those collars aren't a problem." I said as he stopped to listen.
"Meaning..."
"We need to deactivate the collars."
"There's only one way to do that."
"We're going to have to go to the source."
"Which means... We're going to have to go back to Nolan's hideout."
"Exactly."
"Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds, Violet?" He asked. "You've changed since the last time we've been there. I'm starting to think he's the reason."
"Andy, it's the only way." I replied ignoring the second half of his comment.
"Violet I just don't think it's a good idea." He said. "Only the Gods know how much worse you could get after a second visit to this bastard."
"Andy, it is the only way... we have to do this."
"Why? Because a hawk told you to."
"No, because I have to." I answered arguing. "It's what has to be done, do you not understand the advantage we'd have if we destroyed those collars for good?"
"I do." He sighed as he thought about it for a moment. "Fine."