"That's it. I'm flying home."
I smile and collapse into my bed. "I really need that to be true right now."
"I can't believe you kissed Dexter Reed!" she squeals. "Did you like it? Do you like him?"
"Asher and I have been broken up for a week, Sam," I remind with a heavy sigh. "I don't want Dexter to feel like he's just a rebound. He's my friend and I really care about him."
"Well, why did you kiss him then?"
"I didn't kiss him! He kissed me. And then I might've kissed him back," I mumble. "That's not the point! What do I do?"
"I'd be able to answer that if you told me whether you liked the kiss or not," she says pointedly.
I bite my tongue and think back on the kiss. My stomach churns as I just picture it. "I-I don't know why, but I sort of felt this weird tingly feeling all over my body."
Sam squeals. "Riley, you totally love him!"
"Sam," I whine, "I'm not in love with Dexter. Maybe I got that feeling because it was so weird to be kissing him. I don't know." I huff. "But I liked it."
"Oh, Riley, my dear," Sam laughs. "What'd you say after the kiss?"
I hesitate and cringe at my reaction, "what the hell just happened.."
She laughs, "you did not. How'd he respond?"
"He said-- this is a direct quote--," I pause for dramatic effect, "fuck."
"That's hot," Sam comments briefly. "Unless he said it all panicky? Oh no! How'd he say it?"
"I don't remember, Sam! It's all just a blur!" I exclaim. "I mean, I sort of just got out of the car and ran upstairs to call you. Bad move?"
"Bad move," she confirms.
I pout and move under the covers of my bed. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt Dexter because I care about him and that kiss did mean something to me, but I just got out of a crappy relationship and I can't look like I just moved on-"
"Why not? Asher just moved on," Sam reminds. "You don't have to hide your feelings for Dexter because of the fear that some jerk will judge you."
I huff and pull the comforter over my head to hide myself from life. "Please come home."
"I'll be home for spring break," she reminds. "That's only in two months. Hold on, Riley. I'm getting a call from Zander. You know how he gets when I don't answer."
"It's okay," I sigh. "Take the call. I'd rather sit here under my covers and mourn alone. Goodbye."
"Bye. I'll call you back!" She hangs up.
Barely allowing me any time to mourn, there's a knock on my balcony door. I roll out of bed and open the door for Tucker.
"I told him I was gay," he says and walks passed me. "I told him I was gay and that I had feelings for him." He sits down on my floor and sprawls out his feet. "He started choking on the piece of wedding cake he was eating and they had to call an ambulance and everything."
I cover my mouth. "Oh my gosh.. Did you go to the hospital?"
"Am I at the hospital? No, bitch, I'm in your house!" he exclaims in frustration. "I was mortified."
"So," I pause, "do you think he took it well?"
"Cute," Tucker comments and sits up on my floor. "I almost killed Asher Westfield with my gayness."
I laugh and join him on the floor. "I almost killed him tonight too. Then again, you were the one who put him in the hospital. I just wanted to put him in the hospital."
"Well, I didn't," he mutters. "He'll probably avoid me for the rest of eternity."
"If you had gone to the hospital," I say, "he wouldn't be able to avoid you."
"I didn't like the way everyone was looking at me." He ruffles his hair. "Plus, I've slept with half of the girls there, and they looked pissed."
I shake my head. "So many home-runs for the other team, eh?"
"I almost scored with you."
I scoff, "no! I didn't even kiss you back."
We both laugh, Tucker's smile fading before mine. He picks at my rug, chewing on his lip.
"Do you feel any different?" I ask. "Now that everyone knows you're gay?"
"I don't know. I don't really care what other people think of me." He looks at me briefly. "Okay, maybe I care a little."
"It's human nature," I assure. "But hey, if I accepted that you were gay and in love with Asher Westfield when I was dating Asher Westfield, so can all these other people. Plus, everyone always wants a gay best friend."
"I'm not like that," he defends. "I am like the least gay gay person. I mean, that's why it took me so long to realize I'm gay. I'm just so un-gay that I couldn't see I was gay."
I pat his shoulder and stand up from my floor. "You lost me after 'I'm not like that.' Come on, I think my mom made brownies before she left."
"Pot brownies?"
"Fudge brownies," I say and offer a hand to help him stand up.
"I think I'd rather stay on the floor," he decides.
I roll my eyes. "Fine, that's your decision. I'm going downstairs to have a foodgasm."
"Sexual, yet horrifying," he comments and stands up from the floor. "You know I'm down."
For the next hour or so, Tucker and I eat my mom's fudge brownies. After we finished them, Tucker suggested we sneak over to the Harris' and steal some of her chocolate chip cookies. It was a tough decision, but I decided Zander would probably pass out or worse if he saw us sneaking in, most likely assuming we were out to kill him.
"So, who drove you home?" Tucker asks as we move to rest our stuffed stomachs on the couch.
"Dexter," I say casually, keeping my eyes on the carpeted floor.
Tucker smirks. "Ah. I'm not too surprised."
"Don't look at me like that," I snap and cross my arms over my chest. "He's a good friend of mine. He dropped me off and that was that."
"He must've loved that dress," he says cheekily. "Poor guy is probably taking a cold shower right now."
I gasp and throw a pillow at his face. "No! Seriously, Tucker, you can leave if you're just going to make these comments and-"
"Why are you getting so defensive about this?" His eyes widen all of the sudden. "Holy ship, you totally hooked up with him! Was it in the car? Damn, I never pegged you for the girl who-"
"We didn't hook up!" I exclaim.
"You did something," he says knowingly.
I bite my tongue and hesitate on telling him the truth. I mumble, "hem kreishf me."
"What? Sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak embarrassed white girl."
"He kissed me," I say a bit louder, shutting my eyes.
Tucker makes an almost unrecognizable noise, flipping off the couch and onto the carpet. He's laughing so hard that tears are rolling down his cheeks.
"It's not funny," I mutter.
"Not funny?" Tucker lifts himself up from the floor and back onto the couch. "You kissed Dexter!"
"He kissed me," I clarify.
"And you kissed back," he finishes with a smirk. "He even got more than what I got. Was it hot?"
"Tucker, I'm not talking about this," I sigh and cover my face with a pillow.
"You broke up with Asher a week ago," Tucker reminds, though he doesn't need to tell me. "And now you're rebounding to Dexter Reed."
"Dexter isn't a rebound. He's just a friend to me anyway."
"Clearly he doesn't want to be just a friend, Riles," he points out the obvious. "Do you like him?"
I cross my arms over my chest and shrug. "What if I did?"
"There'd be nothing wrong with that," he says. "People at school would probably call you a slut or something dumb, but you'll have a gay best friend by your side to get you through it."
"I thought you said you weren't the gay best friend type," I say, smiling at his sweet comment.
He nods. "Yeah, I'm not. I was talking about Zander, actually."
I laugh and throw another pillow at him. If he keeps this up, I'll have no pillows left to throw. I guess my mom won't miss her vase too much...
"Do you really think Dexter has liked me for awhile?" I ask. "I know it sounds sort of stupid, but I feel like maybe he just kissed me because I was in a vulnerable state."
Tucker raises his eyebrows. "You really think so? I mean, it's Dexter Reed. The guy jumped off a pier to save you from drowning."
"Well, I'd hope you'd jump off a pier to save me from drowning too, but you don't have a crush on me," I point out. "You're a guy.. Don't guys go for the lost girls hoping to get lucky or something?"
"Jerks do," he says. "Do you think Dexter's a jerk?"
"Of course not," I sigh.
"Why are you trying to make all these excuses for why Dexter kissed you? So what if he has had a crush on you for awhile?"
I shrug and bite my lip. Why does it bother me so much? Why am I not flattered that Dexter has had a crush on me?
"Maybe," I pause, "maybe it's because all that time I was wasting on Asher, Dexter had been there. I could've been spending my time getting to know the guy who actually likes me, not the jerk who used me."
He nods. "Maybe."
Rather shockingly considering the time, my doorbell rings. Tucker assures me he didn't order pizza, but I can never trust him on that.
I peer through the window to see who is on my front door, my heart stopping momentarily. "Tucker, leave."
"What? No! You leave."
I roll my eyes. "It's Dexter."
"Oh, I'm staying," he says and stands next to me at the door.
"No," I whisper-scream and shove him to the side. He stays out. "I swear, if you don't leave, I'll.. I'll.."
"You'll what?" he challenges.
"I'll do something bad," I snap, unable to think of any good threat at the moment.
"Damn," he sighs, "I guess I do have to go."
I point for the stairs. "Now!"
"Or what?"
"Something bad!"
He nods with a smirk and climbs upstairs. It's pretty obvious that he's standing right at the top of the stairs, but I can't keep Dexter outside too much longer.
Sighing, I open the door. "Hey."
Dexter sticks his hands in his pockets and keeps his eyes on the ground. "Uh, I-I know it's late, but I just.. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be," I say quietly, keeping my hand on the door handle to balance myself.
"No, I do," he sighs. "I shouldn't have kissed you. It was so dumb and I'm just so dumb around you."
I smile slightly at how he fumbles on his words, nerves evident. "Did you come all this way just to tell me you're sorry for kissing me?"
"Yes." He shakes his head. "No. No, I didn't."
I nod.
"As I've already established," he pauses, "I'm dumb. I'm a real idiot. But even a dumb guy like me knows it'd be absolutely mind-boggling idiotic not to tell you that I like you... I like like you." He scratches the back of his neck. "Great, I sound like a dumb sixth grader too." He squints one eye and looks up at me. "Now would be a nice time for you to say something."
I laugh, leaning against the door. "I don't know what to say."
"Say 'I want you to do that odd lip thing you did to me with the tongue because it felt really nice and I felt all tingly in my you know where,'" Tucker whisper-screams from the top of the stairs.
My face goes beet red, my jaw dropped in shock.
"Do you have someone over right now?" Dexter asks unsurely.
"No," I lie. "I mean, yes. But not like that. It's Tucker. And he's supposed to be upstairs!"
Dexter raises his eyebrows. "Tucker? Oh, I should go."
"Wait," I say and grab his arm to keep him from leaving. "Tucker is gay!"
"Thanks, Riley," Tucker mutters.
I motion for him to keep quiet and turn back around to face Dexter. "He's not here in a romantic late night way at all."
"Yeah, I think I should go," he says and breaks out of my grip. "Um, forget I said anything."
"Dexter, stop," I sigh. "I'm not going to just forget." Closing the front door, I follow Dexter to his car. "The kiss was.."
"Horrible," he finishes. "I know."
"No, you don't know." I stand in front of his car door to keep him from escaping. "I've never thought of you in a romantic way because you're my friend and I was dating Asher and things were confusing.. but then you kissed me."
He looks at me hopefully.
"And I liked it. I started thinking about what it'd be like to be with you and I liked thinking about it," I admit with a small smile. "But I just broke up with Asher last week. I just.. It's too soon. I don't want you to feel like a rebound and I don't want to have doubts that maybe I am using you as a rebound."
He sighs and drops his eyes to the driveway. "Okay."
I nod, smiling softly. "I'm sorry, Dexter."
"I'm going to go now," he says and points to his car.
"Peace out," I say, which makes me internally cringe.
He laughs softly and unlocks his car, climbing into the driver's seat. "Peace out, Riley." He shuts the door and backs out of the driveway.
I stand in my driveway and hug my body. Watching Dexter drive down my street, I feel like I made a mistake by telling him it was too soon. What if he doesn't want to wait? I'm not worth that.
Tucker joins me in the driveway, patting my back awkwardly. "I'd jump his bones."
I whack his side and head back into my house. "You can go home now!"
"Peace out, Riley," he says, laughing in self-amusement.
I stick out my tongue before lifting up my pointer finger and middle finger to give him the sign of peace.
~~
AN:
random ending *shrugs*
so I'm thinking like two more chapters maybe less maybe more who knows I sure as heck don't
honestly tho who is on team Asher because "no offense but" y'all trippin'
I don't even know what this chapter is so please tell me if it makes zero sense because sometimes I'm a little bit insane and I feel like this chapter reflects that but it probably seems like every other chapter but not like last chapter bc the comments on last chapter were so amazing I cried like what even love love
•comment•vote•enjoy•